


Someone to watch over me

by DefaultJane



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse), Hunniper
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bad Dirty Talk, Drama & Romance, F/F, Family Fluff, Female Friendship, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Hunniper - Freeform, Lesbian Sex, NSFW Art, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2018-10-10 03:43:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 51
Words: 156,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10428372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaultJane/pseuds/DefaultJane
Summary: Helena is sent to investigate the claims that a radical environmentalist group is responsible for releasing BOWs into the woods in an attempt to stop a logging project, and Hunnigan tags along, deciding a “nice trip to the woods” would be an ideal way to spend her vacation. Needless to say, that all goes South so fast, starting right from Helena and Hunnigan having to go through the classic “only one bed in a motel room”-scene, neither having any idea of just how much more it'll all grow into eventually.





	1. Monday, the 13th

**Author's Note:**

> The first action-y part of the plot ends at chapter 8, so if you’re only interested in the drama, skip to there, but do it your own risk; if you miss a joke because it refers to a previous chapter, you’re on your own with that (and you'll have to wait until I publish that far, hehe, jokes aside; please read the entire thing, I put effort in it *sob sob sob*). 
> 
> Also, I gave Helena the rank of Special agent for the sake of story so that she can conduct investigations and has the authority to make arrests. I don’t know if in Resident evil world D.S.O. agents have such authority or not, and I like to be sure (never say I don’t put effort into my stories and the research that comes with them, because I really do, sometimes I even look beyond the first page of Google’s search results. That’s how you know I’m like SUPER SERIAL about my work!1!!1!)

* * *

 

“Why don’t you just drive?” Helena asked from Hunnigan at the locker room of the gym in the training facility located in the basement floors of the D.S.O. headquarters.

“I can’t drive,” Hunnigan let Helena know and opened the door to her locker to block the view from Helena (and anyone else who might come into the room) with it before removing her towel and reaching for her clothes.

“You’re a genius and you don’t know how to drive?” Helena continued questioning, her voice laced with genuine disbelief. Hunnigan sighed and got dressed in her underwear before she stuffed her towel, her sweatpants and her sweaty T-shirt into her bag.

“I know _how_ to drive, but I _choose_ not to drive because I’m so bad at it that I make Leon look like a great driver,” she said as she began to put on her suit, preparing to face another day at the office. No one would even stop to think that she traveled the distance between her apartment and the HQ by roller skates (or bicycle at times), she never turned up at the top floor looking like she’d just skated over five miles. Usually she got the gym locker room to herself for the twenty or so minutes she needed to quickly shower and get dressed; most of the agents who preferred morning workouts were here at five in the morning and had already finished by the time Hunnigan came over to use the facilities.

The same would’ve applied today too if Helena hadn’t felt like taking a shower over here before heading home from her night shift rather than do it at home and risk waking people with the noisy pipes and running water. The lady in the apartment below hers was a cranky one, she’d already shoved two less than nice notes under Helena’s door, telling her to learn how to pull a chair back without scraping the damn floor with it (something Helena hadn’t even realized could possibly bother someone so greatly since it wasn’t a constant noise and she certainly didn’t do that, say, in the middle of the night).

“Wow, that’s pretty bad,” Helena agreed and they both chuckled.

“Yeah, so, in the name of public safety... it’s better this way. Besides, I hate pointless exercise. Like, I don’t go for a walk just to go for a walk. Say I have some reason to walk somewhere, I’ll walk ten miles if I have to, but without at reason? No thanks,” Hunnigan said, tucked her shirt in and yanked the zipper of her skirt up before shrugging her jacket on.

“Ah, so, this doubles as your workout,” Helena commented, turning to face Hunnigan when she heard the other woman slam the locker shut, deducing it was safe to turn.

She knew she wouldn’t have necessarily had to turn away; she was relatively certain they both were more than well-acquainted with the female anatomy, but she didn’t want to risk making Hunnigan uncomfortable. Helena noted the other woman was wearing the suit that Helena considered her personal favorite on Hunnigan. The color combination of the black pin-stripe suit with the Fuchsia-colored shirt always made Helena think of liquorice with raspberry filling. She could practically taste it just looking at Hunnigan.

“Exactly. Plus, this way I get around much faster; if I drove, I’d be constantly stuck in traffic. And I figure this is good for the environment... but, honestly, that’s just an added bonus,” Hunnigan said and shouldered her bag.  
“Ever tempted to just take the bus? Like, when it rains?” Helena tried teasing a little and Hunnigan smiled.

“Waterproof,” she answered smugly and tapped the backpack, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get to work.”  
“Yeah, and I’ve gotta get home,” Helena yawned.

“Hasta mañana,” Hunnigan waved over her shoulder and exited the locker room making her way over to the elevator, swiped her keycard in the reader and headed to the top floor.

The office space was separated into smaller offices with glass walls. They didn’t exactly offer much privacy since the sliding doors were anything but soundbroof, but everyone having their own little fish bowl was better than having everyone just sitting bunched up together. Hunnigan’s personal fish bowl was at the very end of the office space, beyond the kitchenette and across from the lounge-area, which meant that most of the time, she got to enjoy being alone and somewhat isolated, almost unnoticed if she closed the shades, because no one had much reason to wander that far back. Or, to be more precise, she _had_ been able to enjoy being isolated until she’d been assigned a room mate.

It made sense since agent Brooks was kind of a newbie and needed guidance and reassurance still, and since Hunnigan was the one who’d been training Brooks for the past couple of years.... and this arrangement was supposed to be only temporary. Hunnigan certainly hoped so. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Brooks, it was just that... she liked being by herself more.

“We gotta get a rearview mirror of some sort so that I can see you coming,” agent Brooks commented, inhaling and exhaling deeply after recovering from being startled by Hunnigan’s sudden appearance.

“What have you got to be so worried about, Olivia? Were you watching gay porn again?” Hunnigan smirked as she dug into her bag and draped her towel and sweaty clothes over the back of her chair and on the coat stand in the corner so that they’d dry out by the time she’d be wearing them again at the end of the day.

“Oh, please, I only do that at home, what’s the point of doing that while at work, I can’t even rub one out here,” Olivia smirked back and rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, you’d better keep your hands above the desk,” Hunnigan agreed and took a seat. Their desks were facing each other, the room divider stuck between them offering some much needed privacy, even if it did only reach high enough to barely hide the other person behind it.

“Honestly, I’m bored with gay porn, once you’ve seen a couple of vids, you’ve seen them all. I find that porn featuring two women is far more creative... and fake, but still,” Olivia shrugged and then straightened her back to be able to see over the divider between their desks and look at Hunnigan.

“Did you know that there are ejaculating dildos?” Olivia asked a little too excitedly and Hunnigan leaned her elbows to her desk, burying her face into her hands.

“I did not know that, and quite frankly, I don’t think I needed to know, but thanks for the info,” she grumbled, her obvious dislike regarding the topic of conversation doing nothing to deter Olivia from it.

“Apparently, they’ve been around forever, but I’d never heard of them until recently.”

“I already regret asking this, but... what exactly does it ejaculate?” Hunnigan then frowned, sitting up straight and crossing her arms over her abdomen as she leaned back in her chair.

“Jizz juice, apparently,” Olivia responded after typing something.  
“Please, don’t tell me you just Googled that on your work computer.”

“I’d be lying.”  
“All right, can you just calm down and focus on work?” Hunnigan then sighed deeply.

“I’ll try, but it’ll take a while after getting all hot and bothered,” Olivia smirked, “Speaking of hot,” she then said and let out a sound that resembled a purr when she saw Helena cross the lounge.  
“Hey, Liv,” Helena greeted the young woman who almost giggled at the field agent.

“You dropped this,” Helena then said to Hunnigan and reached her arm out, turning her palm to face the ceiling and unwrapped her fingers from around the stud earring in her hand.  
“Thank you,” Hunnigan smiled as she accepted the item.

“Anytime. Okay, _now_ I’m outta here,” Helena chuckled and left.

“What?” Hunnigan then asked from Olivia who was staring at her as she put the earring back in place.  
“All right, number one: where did you lose the earring? And number two: why was Harper returning it to you?” Olivia demanded to know.

“At the locker room and obviously she returned it because she noticed I’d lost it... What’s the matter with you?” Hunnigan frowned and slumped into her chair. Olivia on the other hand stood up, leaning into her desk and peering over the divider.

“You were in the locker room with her?”  
“Well, it’s not exactly uncommon, it’s not a private space,” Hunnigan scoffed at the curious brunette whose dark green eyes narrowed at her.

“All right, just what the hell is wrong with you?” Hunnigan snapped then, “If you have a little girl crush on Helena, believe me, nothing lewd happened in the locker room, she’s all yours for all I care,” she continued and rolled her eyes.

“Oh, I’d love to be colleagues with benefits with her, but I get the feeling she’s one of those sickeningly loyal ‘mates for life’-types who only does long-term relationships, and I don’t do those. Besides, at the end of the day, I really do prefer guys,” Olivia shook her head, “And of course, there’s the fact that Helena already has a girlfriend,” she then added.

“Well, then what the hell are you questioning me for?” Hunnigan frowned.

“Because I’ve met the girlfriend and let me tell you, that woman is a living and breathing ball of insecurity. Not that it surprises me when considering she is a little on the heavier side. Like, not ‘can’t leave the house without knocking down a wall’-fat, but still, a big girl,” Olivia rambled on and Hunnigan inhaled and exhaled deeply, hoping her gesture of being uninterested in the subject would be enough to get Olivia to drop it. But of course it wasn’t, the younger woman had gotten started and there was no stopping her.

“Is it weird that I think they shouldn’t be together just based on how unequal they are simply because of their physical appearance?”  
“Yes!” Hunnigan confirmed, but Olivia continued her speech regardless.

“I saw ‘em at a bar a while back and I went to chat with Helena, and her girlfriend practically clawed my eyes out for just saying hello.”

“Yes, I’m _suuure_ you were just innocently saying hi,” Hunnigan chuckled, her tone making it obvious she didn’t believe that was all there was to that. Olivia was the kind of a person who couldn’t keep herself from speaking in double entendres and outright shamelessly flirting even if she tried.

“I’m telling you, insecure! She was constantly hanging on Helena’s arm, and doing the whole ‘baby’-this and ‘honey’-that, y’know, the whole ‘look at my girlfriend, she’s all mine’-act. I got the feelin’ Helena didn’t exactly appreciate being treated like a trophy.”

“I _still_ don’t see what this has to do with me, I’ve never even met the girlfriend let alone given her reasons to be insecure,” Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow. The more Olivia explained it, the more confusing the conversation became.  
“No, but I like shipping you with Helena, so I totally consider this a good thing and if shipping you with Helena makes me a horrible person, then so be it,” Olivia shrugged innocently and finally sat back down.

“Shipping me with Helena? I don’t know what means,” Hunnigan muttered absently as she browsed through her unread emails.  
“Probably better that way, I get the sense that you’d just shame me if you did know,” Olivia giggled.

“Speaking of shame, how was your blind date yesterday?” Hunnigan smirked, hoping that this would be enough to change the subject at last, and Olivia laughed, shaking her head a little.  
“I’m pretty sure I ended up on a date with the missing link between humans and apes.”

“Hm, a decent boyfriend would’ve been a greater scientific discovery,” Hunnigan commented and opened an email marked urgent sent to her by someone at the F.B.I..

In the message, an agent explained he’d felt this should be forwarded to the D.S.O. and had enclosed the original email sent to the bureau, asking for their help, immediately. Attached was also a shaky, poorly lit photo. Hunnigan couldn’t make out what it was exactly, but she had a feeling that it couldn’t be anything good. While D.S.O. did offer assistance with practically any crime if someone requested their aid, they were best known for fighting bioterrorism, and the fact that the F.B.I. had felt this was their kind of a case spoke volumes.

“Liv, you studied photography and Photoshop and stuff like that...”  
“Yeah, the most useless degree of all the degrees I’ve got,” Olivia interjected.

“Well, put it to use. I just sent you something... can you make anything out of it?” Hunnigan then said and circled her desk, moving to stand beside Olivia’s chair.  
“I can try, but no promises.”

* * *

“It’s a Licker,” Leon said after spending a few moments studying the image Olivia had cleaned up. He put the picture on the briefing room table and slid it across to Helena so that she could take a look before passing it on.

“A what?” Olivia asked, frowning deeply. She still had some catching up to do as far as recognizing the various types of creatures went. Frankly, she would’ve been all caught up had she spent more time reading the dossiers and less time stalking people online.

“It’s a B.O.W.. I found a file way back in Raccoon City in which the officers who wrote it nicknamed this thing Licker because it has a ridiculously long tongue,” Leon explained briefly.  
“So, not exactly a new thing, which is good... considering,” Hunnigan muttered and Leon nodded, shrugging one shoulder a little.

“Yeah, but what I’d like to know is where it was sighted at exactly,” he said.  
“I know, as would I,” Hunnigan said as she accepted the picture from Helena and looked over the odd creature. It looked like it had been turned inside out, or like it was lacking a skin completely.

“Want me to take the case?” Leon then asked.  
“Let me have it,” Helena chimed in, “I could use the experience and quite frankly, I’m bored being on standby all the time.”

“All right, so... Olivia, you’re field support...”  
“Yes, ma’am!”

“Helena, you work the field and Leon, you’re on standby. Questions? No? All right, consider yourselves dismissed until I’ve made the necessary arrangements to deploy.”

 

***


	2. To the heartland

Hunnigan paused next to Olivia by the entrance to the gym and waited for Helena and several other agents to finish their close quarter combat-training.

“Be still my heart,” Olivia muttered, fanning herself with her hand as she watched the agents.  
“Just out of curiosity, has your hypersexuality ever been officially diagnosed?” Hunnigan rolled her eyes.

“Oh, give me a break, you’d have to be frigid not to get excited by this. Well-muscled men and women, sweating and grunting, their veins bulging all over the place, the smell of musk...” Olivia listed, inhaling deeply through her nose and Hunnigan scoffed amusedly.

“I swear, I could get herpes just from listening to you.”  
“Admit it, you’re gonna miss my dirty stories while you’re on your vacation,” Liv grinned.

“I highly doubt that a week away from you will be enough to begin even recovering from your stories.”

The field agents training decided to call it a day and upon noticing Hunnigan and Olivia, Helena headed over to them. She took a few sharp breaths to steady her breathing, wiped the sweat from her face with a towel and took a long drink from her water bottle, completely oblivious to the way Olivia was staring at her. Hunnigan noticed and bumped her elbow into Olivia’s ribs softly to snap her back into the real world.

“The mission ready?” Helena asked and Hunnigan nodded.  
“I’ve made the arrangements. The email was sent from a small town named Sakana. It’s mostly just woods, popular among hikers, but otherwise, not much there.”

“...so, why are there B.O.W.s in Sakana? I’d get it if someone was planning to infect a place like New York, but this makes no sense,” Helena frowned and closed the folder before tucking it under her arm and taking another sip from her water.  
“That’s for you to find out,” Hunnigan smirked.

“I regret volunteering for this,” Helena chuckled, “Was there anything else?”  
“Nothing right now, you should get ready to move out, and Liv, you should get set up too,” Hunnigan then ordered.

“Aye-aye.”  
“Yeah, I’ll just shower and change and I’ll be on my way,” Helena nodded as well.

* * *

“Wait!”

“Hunnigan?” Helena frowned, pausing to look behind her, shrugging her shoulder a little to adjust her backpack. She traveled light... which couldn’t be said for Hunnigan, who was hurrying to catch up with Helena, dragging a rather heavy looking suitcase behind her.

“I’m coming with you.”  
“...you looking to become a field agent?” Helena quirked an eyebrow.

“Actually, when I originally applied for a job at what later became the D.S.O., I was going for a field agent’s position.”  
“Really?” Helena asked and Hunnigan nodded, steadying her pace with Helena’s as she walked by the younger woman.

“Yes, but I have a minor heart condition which basically has no actual effect on my life, but the agency has a zero tolerance-policy for health problems when it comes to recruiting field agents, especially since one of the possible symptoms of tachycardia is fainting.”

“Hm, yeah, passing out in the field would be more than just a tad inconvenient,” Helena chuckled.  
“And so, they stuck me behind a desk,” Hunnigan shrugged, “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do like my job, it’s just... not very exciting most of the time.”

“Maybe, but unexciting is a good thing in our line of work,” Helena smiled.  
“You have a point. Plus, being a desk jockey has its advantages; I am in a position where I can add creative twists to deployment forms and... voilá, I get a free flight and a motel room courtesy of the D.S.O..”

“I’m not sure the tax payers would agree with what you’re doing,” Helena remarked teasingly.  
“But they would be just fine paying the debuty director’s bar tab? Because he’s far more creative and bold with the forms than I am,” Hunnigan countered as she and Helena cleared the security checkpoint.

“Point taken,” Helena nodded, gathering her belongings from the tray before heading outside with Hunnigan and proceeding to cross the vast field of asphalt and entered the jet.

“So, why do you want to come to Sakana?” Helena asked after she and Hunnigan had been seated and the jet was preparing to take off.  
“I doubt the D.S.O. will be deploying agents to the Bahamas anytime soon, so considering all the possible alternatives, Sakana is probably as good as it gets,” Hunnigan smirked.

“Frankly, I’m just happy to be out of D.C. for a change. I know this will totally come as a surprise to you,” she then added, her voice dripping with sarcasm, “but I don’t have what you’d call an active social life. As far as I’m concerned, vacations are boring. I spend them at home by myself, or visiting my parents in Arlington, so it’s not like I usually get very far.”

“What’s stopping you?” Helena frowned.  
“I don’t want to travel alone.”

“So, why not bring a friend?”  
“I don’t... have any,” Hunnigan muttered, shaking her head a little and Helena’s frown deepened.

“Oh, come on, there must be someone.”  
“Nope. Well, there’s Leon, but it’s different with him. We don’t exactly hang out outside of work,” Hunnigan explained.

“How about a sibling? I used to take trips with Deb.”  
“Not an option. I mean, I do have a sister... kind of, we’re not blood-related...” Hunnigan trailed off, shaking her head a little.

“How can you not be? What, is she adopted or something?” Helena chuckled, her eyebrow quirking.  
“Yes, we both are,” Hunnigan answered matter-of-factly.

“Oh. Sorry,” the younger woman muttered.  
“Don’t be, it’s not a sore spot or anything. But my sister’s fourteen, so it’s not like I can take her bar-hopping with me,” Hunnigan smiled.

“Well, I’m here,” Helena then offered.  
“Yes, but realistically, if I hadn’t insisted tagging along, we wouldn’t be ‘hanging out’ either.”

“Actually, I’ve wanted to ask you to join me and the other agents for lunch or for drinks after work, but everyone told me not to bother since you’d just say no,” Helena let Hunnigan know.  
“True, I do that,” she admitted.

“So, why not say yes for once?”  
“Because everyone’s so used to me saying no that they don’t ask anymore, and at this point me coming out would just result in everyone doing the whole ‘look who’s out of her cave’-routine, and I don’t need that.”

“You can’t complain about not having friends if you’ve done everything in your power to isolate yourself from everyone when they’ve offered to spend time with you,” Helena pointed out and Hunnigan chuckled softly, nodding in agreement.

“I wasn’t complaining, I was just saying that there are some things I’d prefer doing with a friend if I had any.”  
“Is that a ‘poor me’ I hear?”

“No, I’m not looking for a pity-party, I’m merely stating a fact which is that I’ve always been alone, it’s all I know.”  
“Well, I’m with you now. It’s a start,” Helena smiled.

“...yes, I suppose it is,” Hunnigan agreed, smiling back. It was rare to see Helena smile a genuine smile like that. Hunnigan had learned to know the difference. Most of the time Helena’s eyes didn’t agree with what the forced curve on her lips was conveying. The smile she gave now was genuine. Hunnigan took it as a rare compliment.

 

* * *

 

 The small motel didn’t have many rooms to begin with, and thanks to a local big shot who’d decided he needed one immediately for his mistress, the room Hunnigan had booked for herself at the last minute had been given out to him instead.

“Are you serious?” Hunnigan scoffed at the woman behind the counter. One would’ve thought that someone running such an establishment would’ve been glad for the business, but the woman seemed more annoyed than happy to see customers.

She probably considered them just two more annoying city girls who had decided they wanted to look cooler and so much more enlightened than all their friends, and decided to come here to hug a tree for a day and post pictures about it on social media before returning to their everyday lives in the big city, leeching off of this facade of making a difference for months. Or, who could say, maybe the woman wanted the damn trees cut down and hated the protesters that had arrived in town intent on putting a stop to the logging.

“Do I look like I’m joking?” the woman drawled, rolling her eyes.

“Listen, lady, I’ve..!” Hunnigan began to argue leaning closer to the woman, the gesture small but oddly intimidating at the same time, especially when it was done by someone as tall as Hunnigan. Helena put her hand over Hunnigan’s arm to calm her down and raised her other hand a little to gesture peace.

“I assume my room’s still available, or did you give that out too?” Helena questioned then.  
“Not... yet...” the woman narrowed her eyes as she crossed her arms over her abdomen.

“All right then, just stay with me. I’ll be on the field most of the time anyway, so it’s not like I’ll bug you too much,” Helena suggested to Hunnigan.

“Well, it’s not like I have any options, do I?” Hunnigan muttered, her words directed to Helena, but her glare still focused on the woman behind the counter. The unimpressed woman reached for the keys and slid one across the counter, pinning the other down with her hand firmly when Hunnigan reached for it. Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow and the woman smirked.

“Then there’s just the matter of the surcharge. You see, we have different rates depending on how many people are staying in the room,” she explained gesturing at a plaque which displayed the differing prices, and Helena could swear she heard a low growl emanate from Hunnigan.

“Fine,” she spat and dug out her credit card.  
“Enjoy your stay,” the woman said sarcastically after charging her and finally gave her the key.

“Oh, chew on a razor blade and wash it down with acid,” Hunnigan muttered under her breath after turning to head toward the room. Helena burst out laughing at her comment as she shouldered her bag and followed Hunnigan outside.

“Well, I’ve seen worse,” Helena commented when they got to the room. Rustic was a polite word to describe the room, calling it somewhat of a dump would’ve been more accurate though.  
“I guess,” Hunnigan muttered after checking out the bathroom. No tub. She’d hoped for one; she’d never taken a bath since being a child, only showered, she’d wanted to find out what the hype regarding hot baths was all about. Well, at least it was clean which was what really mattered the most, she supposed.

The room was furnished with a simple desk and a chair, a cabinet that housed an old TV, and a closet equipped only with one wire hanger. No couch or an armchair, the only comfortable looking spot in the room being the queen sized bed.

“Oh, look, only one bed. Now we must have a pillow fight dressed only in our underwear as we wait for the pizza guy to come over and join us,” Helena said, exaggerating and over acting in a flat tone as if this were the opening scene of a B-grade porn movie. Hunnigan laughed softly at the younger woman’s act and went to draw the curtains.

“At least the view’s nice... once you look past the parking lot, I mean,” Hunnigan commented. Beyond the asphalt she could see the forest, the old, large trees rising tall in the horizon, the sky a shade of deep orange that was slowly turning red before the setting sun would disappear from view completely, giving room to darkness and allowing the stars to come to out.

“I don’t know, I’m a city girl. I appreciate the beauty of nature and all that, and I especially enjoy the lovely oxygen trees provide for us, but I’m going to be honest; you will never see me chaining myself to a tree just to save it,” Helena shrugged.

“Do you think some of these ‘tree-huggers’ could be actual eco-terrorists who would’ve gone as far as to acquire some black market bio-weapons and inject themselves?” Hunnigan pondered out loud as she stared out the window.

“...I hadn’t actually thought of that, but if they’re dedicated enough, who knows, you might be onto something,” Helena agreed slowly as she considered it. Actually, it made sense.  
“I wonder what those Lickers will do to the local ecosystem.”

“Hah, good question,” Helena chuckled.  
“I wasn’t making a joke; if we’re talking about eco-terrorists who are so serious about their cause that they would be willing to go as far as to infest the woods with bio-weapons, we have to assume they would’ve taken into account the damage those things could cause afterward,” Hunnigan shook her head slowly as she turned around, her arms crossed over her abdomen, a frown on her face as she thought about it.

“I don’t follow,” Helena confessed and kicked her shoes off. It was late, talking to the locals at this hour would only piss them off, she’d do that in the morning.

“Well, in Leon’s report from the Eastern Slav Republic, he mentioned that there was a way to establish a master-slave-relationship between someone and the Lickers,” Hunnigan explained and went to take a seat on the bed, her suitcase still unpacked on the floor. She sat cross-legged and leaned her elbows to her knees, pushed her glasses to her forehead and rubbed the bridge of her nose as she thought about it.

“So, these guys didn’t only turn themselves into Lickers, they also injected someone with a plaga to control the Lickers afterward,” Helena summarized, rummaging through her backpack, trying to find her toothbrush.  
“Is it too far-fetched?” Hunnigan asked.

“No, on the contrary. Hunnigan, you’re a genius, you’re an absolute genius,” Helena complimented the other woman and her theory. Hunnigan took a few seconds to scan for sarcasm and came to the conclusion that Helena was being sincere.

“Thanks,” she chuckled, “But I still wonder why go through all that trouble, why not just stick to sabotage or show up with a shotgun to scare off the loggers? Or why not stage the woods as some endangered species’ habitat?”

“Sadly, I think bio-weapons are easier to get a hold of than some endangered animal’s crap is,” Helena smirked, “And I don’t know about you, but if someone told me there was a nut with a shotgun scaring people, I’d just call the cops. Say there are killer monsters in the woods, ain’t nobody going in there voluntarily to confirm that the monsters are real,” Helena then shook her head and tossed her backpack to the floor in frustration, unable to find her toothbrush. She must’ve forgotten it at home.

“Only in this case we know for sure that the monsters are real.”  
“Ayep. I’m gonna go talk to the local police in the morning, ask them about the picture and if any tourists have gone missing recently. Who knows, maybe we’re lucky and the picture along with the request for help was a fake, someone trying to stir panic and scare the loggers off.”

“I suppose it’s possible, but I doubt that, I’d think the F.B.I. would’ve noticed if the picture was fake, and if they hadn’t, Olivia definitely would’ve noticed. Tracking down the person who took it in the first place would be the best place to start.”

“Hunnigan... I know, I’m on it,” Helena assured sternly and somewhat amused, “And _you_ are supposed to be on vacation.”  
“I told you, I don’t do vacations very well,” Hunnigan smirked.

“You’re not trying hard enough,” Helena laughed softly, “No more talking shop, let’s get some sleep,” she suggested and Hunnigan nodded, got up from the bed and undid her jeans before taking them off and neatly folding them onto the back of the chair.

“Can I borrow your toothbrush?” Helena then asked and Hunnigan stared for a moment before making a face.  
“Gross! No!” she scoffed, unzipped her suitcase and dug out the oversized T-shirt she liked sleeping in. It had a picture of a floppy disc on it, accompanied by the words “Never forget”. A gift from her sister who’d decided it would be a good one after she’d asked Hunnigan to explain why the save-icon looked the way it did.

“Don’t be cruel, I’m prone to cavities,” Helena complained, turning to face away when Hunnigan began to undo the buttons of her shirt and undressed before pulling the T-shirt on.  
“You _do_ realize you don’t have to turn away? I mean, I doubt I have anything you haven’t already seen before in some shape or form,” Hunnigan changed the subject from the toothbrush when she noticed the younger woman staring at the wall.

“Well, be that as it may, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, I don’t want you to think that... You know,” Helena sighed, slowly turning around, quite visibly relieved to discover Hunnigan had finished changing.  
“I have full confidence you’ll be able to control yourself,” Hunnigan rolled her eyes, “Frankly, it seems to me like you’re the one who isn’t comfortable with your sexuality.”

“I am, I just... Well, after being outed, high school locker rooms could get kinda awkward. All of a sudden everyone and their mother thought I was looking at the other girls ‘like that’, when I wasn’t, so,” Helena shrugged, making air quotes with her fingers to emphasize her words.

“Yeah, well, obviously I’m a bit more enlightened than they were, so you don’t have to worry about nonsense like that around me,” Hunnigan said as she dug into her suitcase again and this time she pulled out a teddybear. She narrowed her eyes at Helena when she noticed the younger woman was biting her cheeks hard to keep from laughing.

“Go on, let’s hear it,” Hunnigan sighed, rolling her eyes, obviously used to the ridicule that came with others discovering she still slept with a teddybear.  
“I’m not laughing,” Helena shook her head, desperately attempting to disguise her chuckles as coughs.

“It’s okay, you wouldn’t be the first to laugh.”  
“No, I’m not laughing,” the younger woman repeated, “but I do want to hear the story behind the reason why you sleep with a teddybear,” she then said, finally managing to get almost serious. Hunnigan sighed deeply and shrugged.

“I was left at a fire department as a baby and the teddybear was left with me. My birth certificate was pinned on him, listing my mother as a ‘Jane Smith’ and my father as ‘mother has no idea’,” Hunnigan smirked and Helena seemed to pale a little as she swallowed hard when she realized she’d been inconsiderate. Unintentionally, of course, but it was still embarrassing.

“I... am... so... sorry! I was being an insensitive jerk and I honestly didn’t mean... You have to believe me,” Helena trailed off slowly, twisting her hands awkwardly.

“It’s okay, as I said, not a sore spot and you couldn’t have known,” Hunnigan assured her before continuing, “My adoptive father is one of the firefighers who was on call the day I was left there. He took me home and eventually he and his wife jumped through the hoops necessary to adopt me. You could say they started their collection with me,” she then grinned.

“Collection?” Helena quirked an eyebrow

“They couldn’t have kids of their own and mom wanted five million of them, so they eventually became foster parents. I was a big sister to a lot of kids before I left for college. And I had a big brother, which was funny because I’d been in the family longer than he had, but he was older so... it’s weird, huh?”

“Nah, not really. I mean, Deb and I spent some time in foster care as kids, so I kind of get the picture. Well, except your home sounds like it was a place where the foster parents actually wanted the kids and not just the reimbursement checks,” Helena said offering a lopsided smirk.

“Picture this; I could’ve been your big sister.”  
“Why does that creep me out?” Helena snorted.  
“I don’t know, but it creeps me out too,” Hunnigan laughed.

“Did you ever try to find your birthmom afterward?” Helena then asked and Hunnigan scoffed amusedly.  
“Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know... to find out where you come from?”  
“I already know where I come from. Arlington, the Hunnigans. Although, considering I always wanted to dress up as a maid for Halloween, I’m thinking I might be at least partly Mexican,” Hunnigan pursed her lips.

“Oh, my God, you’re terrible, that is such a..!” Helena snorted before bursting out in laughter at the inappropriate joke.  
“Hey, I _could_ easily be, so I can say things like that. It’s like when Liv shamelessly calls herself the N-word.”

“Well, yeah, but then again, it’s Liv; she would probably use it even if she were white,” Helena smirked.  
“...true, she would,” Hunnigan agreed then after taking a second to think about it.

“So... you never tried finding your mom, not even out of curiosity?”  
“I don’t see why I should do that. What if it would turn out that my bio-mom was a crack whore or worse; just someone who didn’t want me?” Hunnigan mumbled and Helena grunted internally. Being impatient and bad-tempered already at a young age had resulted in her being less than a desirable candidate when it came to being placed in a home, she had some idea of what it was like knowing you’re not wanted.

“Your mom left you in a place where you would be found, obviously she cared about you and wanted you to make it,” Helena then reasoned.  
“Maybe,” Hunnigan shrugged.

“Could be that she just wasn’t able to look after you herself and thought she was doing the right thing.”  
“I’m not arguing, Helena. Whatever her reasons, I’ve had a wonderful life, and I love my parents... and I know they love me, even if we’re not blood. You know how it is, not all family is blood.”

“I do know. I feel that way about the agents I work with. I don’t have family anymore, but I trust you all with my life.”  
“Yeah, something like that,” Hunnigan nodded.

“So, does your bear have a name?” Helena then inquired and took a seat on the bed.  
“Bear. Just Bear,” Hunnigan smiled, “So, what’s your story? Your file doesn’t say much aside from the fact that you were a mechanic in the army and transferred to the C.I.A. shortly after serving your required years,” she then turned the attention to the younger woman.

“Well, ever since I was nine years old, it was just me and Deb. My parents died because they happened to end up at the wrong place at the wrong time. They walked into a store in the middle of a robbery, startled the kid holding the shotgun... and ended up getting shot.”

“I’m sorry.”

“So, afterward, Deb and I were bounced around the foster care system and when I turned seventeen, I was allowed to enlist. I used the money I made in the army to get a place for me and Deb and to pay for her schooling. I’m not sure if she ever forgave me for basically abandoning her when I enlisted.”

“If you explained to her why you did it, I’m sure she understood it,” Hunnigan said softly, reaching to place her hand over Helena’s, and the younger woman nodded slowly, smiling a little.

“Thanks,” she said and put her other hand over Hunnigan’s, “I mean, yeah, we never really spoke of it, but she was always so easy going and happy, I don’t think she dwelled on the past. Besides, I was always there to bail her out, be it a case of underage drinking or an abusive boyfriend...”

“Exactly, you were always there when she needed you, and that’s what matters. I’m sure she knew that whatever you did was because you were only looking out for her.”  
“Thanks,” Helena said again, patted the back of Hunnigan’s hand and inhaled deeply before exhaling sharply, “What do you say we call it a night, huh?” she then suggested.

“Sounds good to me,” Hunnigan smiled, grabbed her teddybear and pulled the blanket back before getting into bed.  
“Do you hog the covers?” she then asked.

“No,” Helena shook her head.  
“Good, because I do.”

 

***


	3. Friendly strangers

_Jesus, she wasn’t joking about hogging the covers,_ Helena mused in the morning. It was barely seven, her alarm wasn’t set to go off for another hour, but her internal alarm clock ensured she woke up early, even on days when it wasn’t necessary. Hunnigan was still asleep, Bear tucked under her arm, his dark brown plastic eyes staring back at Helena almost as if daring her to even try anything. Somehow Hunnigan had managed to steal most of the blanket and wrap herself into it, making herself into a blanket burrito while Helena had been left with barely a corner.

Letting out an amused scoff, Helena got out of the bed slowly, careful not to wake Hunnigan. She moved around the room quietly as she performed her morning rituals and got dressed, exiting the room about twenty minutes later and shutting the door softly behind her. She lit a cigarette, inhaled the smoke deeply and began walking toward the police department.

Everything seemed peaceful, not at all what she’d come to expect working as a field agent for the D.S.O.. Not that the calm was a bad thing, but if there was something she knew about small towns like this... it was that there was always more than met the eye, especially now. On the surface, this was a lovely, little rural town, perfect for those who loved going camping, doing some hiking and fishing. It looked beautiful and calm, so harmless it easily made people forget how dangerous it was out there in the woods, even prior to the threat of having B.O.W.s lurking around.

Even so, Helena had to admit, it felt good getting out of the city for a while, and that she wouldn’t actually mind visiting again as a civilian. She couldn’t imagine herself moving to a place like this, but visiting... maybe. She nodded quiet “good mornings” to the people who paused to stare at the stranger walking across town. There were barely two hundred people living in town, plus the hundred or so in the surrounding areas. In other words, a new face tended to stick out from the crowd, even with all the fresh meat that had arrived into town recently, namely the people protesting the logging project that was going on.

Helena stopped to buy herself a coffee and continued on her way until she reached the police department. She waited outside, sipping the hot beverage and smoking until a desk officer spotted her and let her in despite the fact that it wasn’t yet office hours. She introduced herself and was led to Lieutenant Makris, who obviously had not yet had her morning coffee. Either that, or she was just grumpy regardless of the time of the day.

“Special agent Helena Harper, I’m with the D.S.O.,” she introduced herself again, holding up her credentials. The lieutenant took a long look at the ID before finally leaning back in her chair and scoffing loudly.

“Sure, fine,” she muttered then, rolling her blue-gray eyes a little, “I assume you’ll want to know what I know, right?”  
“It would a good a start,” Helena agreed, took a sip of her coffee and leaned her hip to the lieutenant’s desk as she redhead stood up, crossed the room and dug out a print of the case file from the cabinet.

“There’s not a lot to tell,” Makris sighed and handed the folder to Helena. She put her paper coffee mug down and began to flip through the pages.

“It’s not unusual for people to go missing around here. They think they can handle the hike, but the truth is, these are some challenging grounds even for experienced hikers, let alone for some tourist who thinks hiking is the same as walking,” Makris muttered and Helena nodded.

“What is odd is the fact that a lot of people have gone missing in such a short time. Usually there are two or three people every year... now we’re missing fifteen people. Most of them local lumberjacks with plenty of survival experience, if anyone would make it out there, it would be them,” Makris explained.

“And the picture you forwarded to the F.B.I., where did that come from?” Helena asked, shut the folder and put it away. Makris was right, there was nothing new there for her to read.  
“From one of the loggers who almost made it out of the woods. He won’t be any help, unless you mighty special agents have figured out a way to communicate with the dead, he died from his injuries at the hospital.”

“Hey, _you_ came to _me_ , so how about you tone down the attitude a little. I’m not interested in pissing contests, I’m interested in getting confirmation if B.O.W.s are being used here and putting an end to it.”

“For the record, _I_ did not come to you, the owner of Selverstone lumber insisted coming to you; had it been up to me, I would’ve solved this with my own team.”  
“Hm, yes, I’m sure you were doing a marvellous job about it so far,” Helena commented dryly. She’d tried being civil, but this woman had obviously made up her mind. Helena decided not to waste any more time trying to assure her that they were on the same side.

“Yeah, well, you’re welcome to try and do a better job,” the lieutenant scoffed.  
“Can I take this file with me?”

“Yeah, fine, just sign it out at the desk,” the redhead shrugged and exited her office, silently letting Helena know that she was done talking to her, and that she should show herself out.

Helena decided she’d talk to the owner of the lumber company first. She stopped at the diner she’d been to earlier, bought another mug of coffee and asked if there was a place she could go rent a car from. The young woman behind the counter chuckled a little at the question.

“Oh, sweetie, we don’t exactly have such services around here,” she said and Helena quirked an eyebrow at the term of endearment. She would’ve tolerated it from an older woman, but being called “sweetie” by a teenager with blue hair and a nose ring was bordering on insulting.

“You could ask David,” a man sitting at the bar offered as he added salt to his breakfast eggs, “He owns the SUV-dealership a few blocks to the North from here, you can’t miss it,” he said then.  
“Thanks, I’ll check it out.”  
“No problem, I think he’ll be happy to have the business. Those tree-huggers have torched a few of his cars already, he’ll be even happier if you catch those brats,” the man added before digging into his meal.

Helena thanked him again, took her coffee to go and exited, heading North, looking for the dealership. Once there, she circled the gate that was still firmly locked, looking for an entrance.

“Hey, sorry, I realize this is not the most welcoming sight to a potential customer, but I’ve had some serious problems with some... vandals,” David apologized as he hurried across the lot to unlock the gate.  
“Vandals is putting it nicely, I’m sure most people would call it terrorism,” Helena commented and David paused, quirking an eyebrow.

“Something tells me you’re not here to buy a car.”  
“I’m here to rent one, if possible... and while I’m at it, I would like to ask you questions about these vandals,” Helena explained, dug out her credentials and showed them to the man who took a long look.

“Well, I’m not sure if I have anything useful I could tell you, but I’m sure I can help you with the car,” David smiled.  
“What _can_ you tell me?” Helena asked as she followed him into his office.

“Just that they call themselves Jenova and like to set things on fire,” David sighed deeply and printed out some paperwork for Helena to fill out to rent a car.  
“I assume you have some sort of security around this place?”

“Of course, but I can’t afford to hire someone to stand guarding the place twenty-four-seven and any security camera footage is pretty much useless, a masked person in black could be anyone. Hell, I was a suspect myself for a moment,” David scoffed and Helena frowned.

“Why is that?” she asked and signed her name before handing the paper back to David.  
“The insurance people figured I’d done it myself or hired someone to do it for me for the insurance money. I mean, business ain’t exactly booming, but still. Needless to say, they were wrong and I won out in the end, but man, I’m still insulted by the mere suggestion,” David ranted a little and Helena chuckled, nodding in agreement.

“I understand,” she said and then followed him back to the lot. He guided her to the car she’d randomly picked (not that there were a lot of different options) and handed her the key.  
“Good luck, agent Harper,” David said and closed the door after Helena had gotten in.

“Thanks. See you around,” she smiled and drove off. She dug out her phone and dialed Olivia.

“Good morning! What can I do for you?” Olivia’s voice inquired over the speaker.  
“Can you tell me anything about Jenova?” Helena got straight to the point.

“It’s a combination of the words Jehova and Nova, means ‘new God’. Also, a character in _Final Fantasy_ seven,” Olivia listed and Helena chuckled.  
“Okay, no, I meant the radical environmentalist group that calls themselves Jenova, anything on them?”

“Nothing that you wouldn’t expect from radical environmentalists,” Olivia said, the sound of typing audible in the background, “There’s a long list of sabotage they’ve claimed responsibility for, all the way from tree spiking to arson and bombing various factories and construction sites.”

“Any arrests?”  
“None. The F.B.I. has tried, but these guys are careful and insider informants are not an option because... well, either everyone’s loyal or they don’t dare to get out of line.”

“Are there any other cases Jenova has claimed responsibility for, cases that would imply B.O.W.s have been used?” Helena then asked and Olivia groaned. Helena could practically hear her roll her eyes.  
“The list of the sabotage they’ve claimed responsibility for dates as far back as 1992, it’ll take me a while to go through all of it.”

“Well... could you do that for me? Pretty please?”  
“Fine, but when you get back, you’re buying me dinner and I’m ordering the two hundred dollar hot dog,” Olivia said, the smile audible in her voice.

“That seems reasonable,” Helena chuckled, “Thanks, Liv,” she then said before ending the call and heading to the local office of Selverstone lumber. The parking lot of the building was crowded with people waving hand-made signs, their rhymed chants of protest echoing in the air.

These were the people who were here because they thought they were making a difference simply by being here, Helena didn’t bother questioning them, not yet anyway. She navigated her way through the crowd that hassled her a little, like they would’ve hassled anyone entering the building, but they didn’t do anything other than try to guilt-trip her with words. Definitely not the kind of a group who would release Lickers into the wild.

The receptionist was about to send her away immediately, stating that mister Selverstone wasn’t interested in talking to anyone, until Helena explained she was here about the missing loggers. With that, the receptionist practically shoved Helena into the man’s office, assuming he’d be glad to see that the backup he’d sent for had actually arrived. Contrary to what the receptionist had probably expected, Selverstone looked rather disappointed upon seeing Helena.

“I call the Feds for help and they send me one girl? What do they think this is, a fashion show?” the man scoffed. He was in his early fifties, his hair a shade of dark silver rather than the typical gray, implying his hair had probably been raven black when he’d been younger. He was of average height and weight, not exactly handsome, but charismatic in his own way.

“I’m actually with the D.S.O. and I should point out that the Feds came to us with this case, so you can rest assured that I’m not here to walk the runway,” Helena challenged, once again holding up her credentials.

“I apologize,” Selverstone grumbled, ran his hand over his face tiredly and gestured toward the chair opposite to his massive, wooden desk. Helena took a seat and declined his offer for a drink as he poured himself a glass.

“I grew up here, you know,” he began slowly as he stared out of the window. “And now, I’m simply trying to run a business here. It’s not like I’m the only one who profits, I employ a lot of local people... I know most of my loggers personally, I know their families. So, when any single one of them goes missing, I take it personally,” he said and scoffed then.

“And this is the thanks I get for trying to improve this place. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve been threatened by these outsiders who think they know better,” he continued and went to sit behind his desk.  
“Do you think they’d go as far as to kill people just to make a point?”

“I’ve got fifteen men unaccounted for. Something happened to them,” Selverstone said sternly and Helena nodded slowly.

“The local cops aren’t doing anything. Not enough manpower, not enough leads. Frankly, I’m beginning to think they’ve sided with the eco-terrorists. Or then they’re just really inefficient at their jobs, which is why I went to the Feds.”

“I assure you, I’ll do everything I can to solve this,” Helena promised.  
“Good. I’ve got families waiting for me to tell them what happened to their loved ones,” Selverstone said, finished his drink and got up to get another one.

“Besides, it’s not like I’m here to destroy the woods, agent Harper. We plant saplings for every tree we take, my livelyhood depends on the forests too, and with the amount of trees that are marked untouchable thanks to the environmentalists, I can’t afford to just take timber and leave nothing behind,” he continued what sounded like a rehearsed speech. Helena was certain he’d had to repeat it several times by now, to the people of the town, to the protesters from outside of town, to the press, to the police.

“So, if you’re doing everything by the book, why does Jenova target you?” Helena asked and Selverstone turned around sharply, glaring at her.

“How about you do your job, catch one of ‘em and ask ‘em!” he spat. Apparently, Helena had struck a nerve. Either he really was doing everything by the book and simply hated having his integrity questioned, or then he was lying. Helena couldn’t quite tell which one it was. He seemed sincere... but that rarely guaranteed anything.

“Right,” Helena cleared her throat and stood up.

“My assistant will provide you with all the information we’ve gathered about these people. I gave them to the local cops too, but I doubt they’ve done anything with it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got work to do,” the man said then and returned to take a seat at his desk.

“Of course. Thank you for your time,” Helena said, turned and exited the office. Selverstone’s assistant had already prepared the files for Helena and slammed a thick folder onto the counter.  
“Have fun,” she smirked and Helena scoffed as she picked up the paperwork.

“I’ll try,” she responded and left the building. She got into the car (kind of amazed it hadn’t been keyed or torched yet), flipped through the pages and sighed deeply, tossing the folder onto the passenger’s seat. Her phone made a noise and Helena opened the message she’d gotten. It was from Ryan, her girlfriend.

Helena hadn’t said as much at work, but the main reason she’d volunteered for this mission despite knowing it might end up being a pain in the ass-type of a mission (as it was quickly turning out to be) was because she’d wanted to get some distance between herself and Ryan. She needed to think, she needed the space, she’d told that to Ryan, who had said she’d give that to Helena... and was now breaking her own rule of not contacting Helena at all for a while to give her that time to think in peace.

 _Well, she lasted, what, about seventeen hours. Admittedly, that’s a record,_ Helena mused after glancing her watch. She didn’t answer the message.

She was about to put her phone away when it made a noise again, and Helena groaned loudly in frustration, but proceeded to open the second message despite that. It wasn’t from Ryan.

 _You used my toothbrush, you bitch!_ Hunnigan’s message said.

“Oh, crap,” Helena gasped and chuckled then. She should’ve know she’d get caught, but at the same time, she would’ve wanted to see Hunnigan’s face when she’d gone to brush her teeth this morning, only to discover her toothbrush was already wet. Helena imagined some amount of cursing and gagging had taken place, followed by Hunnigan vigorously rinsing her mouth out.

 _I didn’t use the tongue scraper on the back, no need to go all chola on me,_ Helena responded, chuckling silently, knowing perfectly well that wouldn’t make a difference.

 _I don’t think I like you anymore,_ Hunnigan texted back and Helena laughed out loud, making mental note to buy herself and Hunnigan new toothbrushes once she’d get back to town.

 

***


	4. No souvenirs

After spending the day talking to the locals and interviewing the protesters from out of town, Helena headed back to the motel. She lay on her stomach on the bed, the paperwork she’d gotten from Lieutenant Makris and from Selverstone scattered around her. It didn’t surprise her to notice that Selverstone’s reports were more detailed than the lieutenant’s. Then again, Selverstone did have a personal interest in catching the eco-terrorists sooner rather than later.

“Talk to me, Liv,” Helena answered the video call she received.  
“It took a shitload of digging and pulling strings, but I managed to find out the name of the guy who apparently is in charge of Jenova’s projects,” Olivia said.

“Great!” Helena exclaimed and sat up on the bed.

“His name is Declan Kotcheff. He started off as a member of another environmentalist group, but apparently they were too peaceful for Declan’s liking and he started his own group,” Olivia explained as she sent Helena the report she’d compiled.

“I can’t tell for sure if he’s used B.O.W.s before, no one started taking those things seriously until just a few years back, so it could be people just left them out from their reports because it all seemed too crazy.”  
“That’s understandable,” Helena muttered and nodded.

“Yes, but I did some magic and read between the lines and made a few phone calls... and it is my personal but very adamant opinion that whatever’s happening in Sakana now is not the very first time Declan’s resorted to using something heavier than the standard home-made pipe bomb,” Olivia said slowly.

“What makes you think that?” Helena frowned and Olivia sighed. She couldn’t always explain it, she just had a knack for seeing patterns where others saw nothing.

“There are cycles that emerge when you go through all of the reports. The bigger the impact Declan’s actions had, the more people he lost from his group, and the higher the spike in reported B.O.W. sightings. These things haven’t been connected before.”

“Why not?”

“I couldn’t say. Probably because fundamentally using B.O.W.s kind of goes against Jenova’s principles. I mean, they’ve bombed the shit out of corporations that produce genetically modified food, I’d think that by their standards bio-weapons would be a bigger crime against nature.”

“So, whenever Declan decides it’s time to do something bigger, he breaks his own rules, some of his crew disagree and abandon the group...”  
“...or would abandon the group if they could, but I have a feeling you don’t just walk away from these guys.”

“Implying that the missing members are injected and used as weapons rather than allowed to leave and possibly rat the rest of the group out to the authorities,” Helena finished the thought and Olivia nodded.  
“That’s my theory anyway,” she said.

“It’s a good one, thanks!”  
“No prob, that’s what I get paid for,” Olivia chuckled.

The bathroom door opened and Hunnigan exited, a towel wrapped around her body and another assembled into a turban on her head.

“Christ on a cupcake, is that Hunnigan!” Olivia gasped and pressed her palm against her chest.  
“Yeah, she’s a cheapskate and decided to tag along instead of being a big girl and spending money on a real vacation,” Helena taunted and lifted the phone a little, “Say hi to Liv.”

“Hi, Liv,” Hunnigan waved, “And for the record, I _am_ spending money, the less than friendly lady at the front desk has the nerve to charge me for sharing a room with you,” she then poked her tongue out at Helena.  
“This makes me so happy,” Olivia said, pretending to sniffle and wipe away a tear of joy.

“What, why?” Helena frowned deeply.  
“Nevermind,” Olivia then dismissed and hastily changed the subject, “I sent you my report, I’ll keep you updated if I find anything new. Good night,” she then said and ended the call.

“What was that about?” Helena quirked an eyebrow and Hunnigan shrugged, leaning over to dig up clean clothes from her suitcase.  
“I wouldn’t know, I’ve given up trying to keep track of the weird things she gets into.”

Helena gathered up the paperwork and put them back into their folders before putting them aside.

“Are you still mad at me for using your toothbrush?”  
“If I get sick because of your cooties, you’re paying for my meds,” Hunnigan smirked, not really answering the question.

“Deal,” Helena chuckled and glanced at her phone then when it made a noise. It was Ryan, again. Helena sighed, her thumb hovering over the keys as she contemplated whether to respond or not.  
“You okay?” Hunnigan frowned.

“Yeah, it’s just... my girlfriend, she’s not dealing with me being away very well,” Helena offered.  
“Do you need some privacy if you wanna call her? I was gonna get dressed and head into town to get something to eat anyway,” Hunnigan offered then and Helena shook her head.

“No, I, uhm... we’re kind of taking a break, I’d rather not talk to her.”  
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Hunnigan said and went back to the bathroom to get dressed.

“It’s okay, it’s not like I’m surprised we’ve ended up at where we are. Ryan tends to get a bit clingy and I’m not sure if I can really deal with it anymore,” Helena called out, “And... I have no idea why I’m telling you this,” she then added awkwardly when Hunnigan exited the bathroom again, dressed in a deep blue T-shirt and black jeans, her still wet hair tied up.

“I don’t mind, you can talk to me about it if you want,” Hunnigan said as she shrugged her leather jacket on, “And you’re welcome to join me for dinner unless you have something else planned?” she then suggested and Helena smiled.

“I would like that,” she nodded and got up from the bed, grabbed her key and followed Hunnigan outside.  
“How long have you and Ryan been together?” Hunnigan inquired as they walked down the stairs and crossed the yard, heading out to the street.

“A couple of years, during which she’s told me she wants to break up more times than I can count, and when I’ve given up trying to convince her otherwise and just agreed, she changes her mind and tells me she doesn’t want to break up after all,” Helena opened up, shaking her head a little.

“How’d you two meet?”

  
“I’d just gotten back from Afghanistan and Deb and I decided to go out to celebrate a little, and Ryan was there too, she and Deborah knew each other from school. At one point some douchebag made a derogatory comment about Ryan’s weight, and I took it upon myself to encourage him to apologize,” Helena shared and Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow, certain that Helena’s encouragement had involved some degree of violence, or at least a threat of it.

“I’m amazed if he didn’t sue you.”

“Oh, I’m sure he would’ve sued if I hadn’t introduced myself as a C.I.A. agent and told him that I’d have him put on every black list there is and that I’d have him assassinated if I ever heard he’d disrespected another woman again.”

“...that’s not how the C.I.A. works,” Hunnigan frowned and Helena chuckled, nodding her head in agreement.

“I know that, but he didn’t, thanks to the common misconception that a C.I.A. agent can make anybody disappear just because they don’t like 'em,” she grinned, “A couple of days later I got a text from Ryan, Deb had given her my number. She thanked me and told me no one had ever stood up for her before and asked me if she could buy me coffee to say thanks, and that’s how we started seeing each other,” she then shared.

“So, what made you decide to take a break?” Hunnigan prodded quietly as they entered the diner and went to take a seat at a booth in the back of the room. The blue-haired young woman who’d called Helena “sweetie” earlier was still on duty and quickly came over to take their orders. She waited patiently for a few moments while the women eyed over the menu before placing their orders.

“We’ve been arguing a lot. After everything that happened this summer, I haven’t really been myself in a lot of ways. I no longer have the energy to constantly reassure her and, uh, being, um... romantic... hasn’t been exactly a priority for me, and Ryan takes it the wrong way,” Helena mumbled awkwardly and Hunnigan nodded.

“I assume you’ve talked to her about it,” she said.

“Several times, I’ve explained it and tried to get her to see my point of view, but Ryan obviously thinks that barely three months should be enough to get over the ‘little things’ that I went through,” Helena scoffed then and Hunnigan nodded.

She didn’t think she was in a position to say that she could imagine or that she understood, because honestly, she didn’t, not completely. She’d had to deal with nightmares and loss like most people, but everyone was different, and having to listen someone else tell you they know how you feel was agitating and nothing more.

“In Ryan’s defense, she doesn’t know how bad it got exactly, but even so, how can I go living my life as if nothing ever happened?”

“You can not,” Hunnigan stated matter-of-factly and Helena scoffed amusedly, sighing deeply then. It was true, she could not, and she found herself appreciating Hunnigan’s blunt honesty much more than she would appreciate the empty words of comfort offered to her by anyone else.

“When Deb was around, I always had someone to talk to. We spoke several times a day and even now, whenever something nice happens or when I see things like her favorite shade of lipstick on sale or something, I get the urge to call her to let her know, but I can’t call her anymore,” Helena mumbled and Hunnigan would’ve wanted to say something, do something to help Helena hurt less, but there was nothing she could do. Nothing, aside from offering the common platitudes that served no genuine purpose and Hunnigan had no desire to begin the false dance of clichés. If there was something Hunnigan could concretely do, she believed Helena would be able to bring herself to directly ask for it and save them both the trouble of hollow gestures.

“So, nowadays, whenever Ryan gets on my nerves, I don’t have anyone to vent to and I just blurt everything out to her directly,” Helena continued, sighing deeply.

She and Hunnigan took a moment to thank the blue-haired young woman when she came by to bring them their drinks and to let them know it would take a few more minutes before their meals would be ready.

“I can’t say I know how that feels, I don’t have anyone I talk to much outside of work, but I’m beginning to think that is just a good thing,” Hunnigan shrugged. Helena downed almost half of her pint in one gulp and frowned.

“Why would you think that?” she asked.

“Because I can see how painful this all is for you; and I don’t mean just the things that happened to Deborah, I also mean everything that’s happening with Ryan too. I can’t imagine having my happiness depend on another person ever being worth it,” Hunnigan shook her head a little and Helena chuckled ruefully.

“That’s because you haven’t yet been with anyone who makes it worth it. But when you find that person, you won’t give good God damn about risking your own happiness because even the littlest of good things you share with them will make it more than worth it,” she said softly, taking a moment to stare deeply into Hunnigan’s eyes. Hunnigan held the gaze for a few seconds before having to look away.

“Says the woman who is currently needing a break from her girlfriend,” she teased then and Helena laughed gently.

“Well, yeah, but the reason I decided it’s time for an actual break is that we had the most ridiculous argument we’ve ever had so far,” Helena let Hunnigan know, “Ryan pretty much told me to go fuck myself after I’d allegedly called her fat.”

“Did you call her fat?” Hunnigan asked bluntly despite knowing it was very unlikely Helena would do something like that, especially when considering what she’d just told her about the events that had taken place when she and Ryan had met in the first place.

“Of course not! I never said anything at all.”  
“Then, what _did_ you do?” Hunnigan frowned and Helena chuckled ruefully.

“I made a salad.”  
“You...” Hunnigan began to repeat, a frown of disbelief forming on her face and Helena nodded.

“I made a salad and she took it as a remark on her diet... which it wasn’t, just so we’re clear,” the younger woman elaborated.  
“You monster,” Hunnigan teased and Helena burst out laughing.

“In my defense, it doesn’t matter what I do. Had I made a chocolate cake, she would’ve turned it into an argument by saying it’s my fault she’s struggling with her weight. She somehow manages to forget that I know what it’s like.”

“Really?” Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow and took a moment trying to imagine an overweight version of Helena. It was not easy to imagine.  
“Oh, yeah, I was, uhm... more than just a tad chubby as a teenager. So, I know dealing with weight problems isn’t a simple task, but it’s doable.”

“Yeah, and while it may not be easy, at least it is something one can change by themselves, that’s not something that can be done with other kinds of body issues, like if you feel you’re not tall enough or-”  
“Not something I’d imagine you have a problem with,” Helena interjected.

“...or if you feel like you are physically the wrong gender,” Hunnigan finished her sentence and held up her hand, “And for the record, it kills me inside that I am not an even six feet tall, you have no idea how frustrating it is to be literally this close,” she then said, holding her thumb and index finger a couple of inches away from each other to illustrate her point.

“Seriously?” Helena chuckled.  
“I like even numbers,” Hunnigan shrugged, “Now... I believe we were talking about how you allegedly called Ryan fat,” she then brought them back to the original topic of conversation.

“Yes, allegedly, very much allegedly. I can’t really win no matter what I do, I’m pretty much over it. I just... needed to take a few days without her influencing my decision to figure out what it is that I really want to do,” Helena said seriously.

“Which is what?” Hunnigan asked and took a sip of her water.  
“I’m not sure yet.”

“Well, if you do decide to break up with her, I can tell you from personal experience that being alone isn’t scary like some people seem to think.”  
“I’m not _scared_ of being alone, I just don’t _like_ solitude. I prefer being able to just... lose myself into another person, you know?”

“No, I don’t, because I don’t really believe in all that.”  
“It’s not a matter of faith,” Helena chuckled softly.

“Ah, so I’ve just never met ‘The One’? Trust me, I’ve heard that argument before, and I can only tell you the same thing I’ve told everyone else insisting the same; I am not even looking for anyone, I prefer being alone,” Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow and leaned back when the blue-haired young woman returned with the meals. She placed the bacon cheeseburger in front of Helena and then served Hunnigan the sandwich with breaded catfish filets.

“Man, that looks good. I’ll trade a bite with you,” Helena then offered rather than argue over relationships, and Hunnigan narrowed her eyes at the younger woman.  
“What is it with your obsession of sharing your mouth-germs with me? First, you use my toothbrush, now you want a bite of my food?”

“Well, considering I already did the worst by borrowing your toothbrush, I think a bite from your sandwich would be harmless in comparison,” Helena shrugged innocently and Hunnigan rolled her eyes. Instead of offering a bite, she cut out a small piece from her sandwich and gave it to Helena.

“Do you want a bite of my burger? I haven’t touched it yet,” the younger woman then offered and Hunnigan shook her head a little.  
“No, thanks, I’m a pescetarian.”

“A what?” Helena mumbled, her mouth full of food and Hunnigan chuckled softly.  
“I don’t eat meat, just fish,” she explained.

_Now you’re talking like a true lesbian,_ Olivia’s voice snickered in the back of Hunnigan’s mind and she almost scoffed out loud. Apparently, distancing herself from the other woman and her lewd remarks wasn’t enough, she was already dug in deep in her head.

“Oh. Why? Not enough mercury in your diet otherwise?” Helena taunted, “Or is that your way of saving the cows or something?” she then asked and Hunnigan shook her head again.

“No, I know that the animals will be butchered regardless of my personal choices; for that to change, everyone would need to stop eating meat. It’s not a statement, merely a personal preference. Just like I assume you enjoying a ground up animal that was shot full of antibiotics and other junk to cancel out all the diseases is your personal choice rather than a statement,” Hunnigan teased.

“Mmm, dead meat that’s marinaded in antibiotics,” Helena imitated Homer Simpson, tilted her head back and pretended to drool before biting into her burger, eliciting a chuckle from Hunnigan with her antics.

Helena exhaled agitatedly through her nose when her phone made a noise once again. She glanced at the message and contemplated on just telling Ryan right now that it was over.

“You can’t text message-break up,” Hunnigan commented as if having read her mind.  
“Watch me,” Helena smirked.

“I think she deserves at least a phone call, and I think you’re above just texting,” Hunnigan reasoned and Helena sighed.  
“You’re right, on both accounts,” she agreed and put the phone away. She’d do it in person later.

“You should respond something to her. She’s probably just worried about you,” Hunnigan pointed out and Helena sighed in defeat.  
“You’re right, I just don’t know what to say and I don’t want to encourage her to keep messaging me, I need to just be able to think about this all without her distracting me, I need to figure out what I should do,” Helena muttered and took a moment to respond despite herself, letting Ryan know that she was okay and that she was busy and that they’d talk later.

“When you think about breaking up with her, does it make you feel miserable or relieved?” Hunnigan asked.  
“I’m almost ashamed to admit it, but I feel relieved,” Helena answered after taking a moment to consider it.

“Then leaving is the right thing to do. If you still felt about her the way I assume you’d want to feel and should feel in order to keep the relationship alive, the thought of going your separate ways would make you miserable,” Hunnigan reasoned. Helena stared at her blankly for a moment as she let the realization that Hunnigan was right sink in.

“That’s really deep, especially for someone who doesn’t seem to care much for romantic mush and relationships,” Helena then grinned.  
“I’m a polymath, I can learn from anything, even from Olivia’s explicit stories about her romantic and sexual escapades,” Hunnigan grinned back.

 

***


	5. Trust me

Hunnigan truly was bad at taking a break, she’d been on vacation for a day and she was already bored. Thankfully, considering the situation in the town, she quickly found herself something useful to do.

“That’s how you plan on spending your vacation, infiltrating Jenova?” Helena quirked an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her abdomen, her stance clearly indicating she was against the idea.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” Hunnigan dismissed as she pulled her boots on, “One does not simply infiltrate a group like Jenova, these guys are involved in major crimes and the only reason they haven’t gotten caught and charged is because they’re careful and smart enough not to recruit just anyone off the street, you’d need to know someone from the inner circle to get anywhere near Jenova” she continued, shaking her head.

“Then what are you saying?” Helena frowned and Hunnigan sat up after tying the laces of her boots, sighing deeply.  
“I’m saying that I can blend in because unlike you, I haven’t walked around town waving my badge in everyone’s face.”

“Well, excuse me for having to identify myself,” Helena scoffed.

“You’re excused, but what I’m saying is that I can easily go hang out with the protesters. I’m fairly certain there aren’t any big shots from Jenova hanging around chanting at the parking lot, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t scouting people, maybe use them as scapegoats afterward... Based on what you and Liv gathered, Jenova’s own numbers are dwindling, they’re bound to have to recruit new members at some point, and the odds are that they’ll approach this group since they’re still here and so is Jenova,” Hunnigan explained.

“What makes you think Jenova’s still here?” Helena questioned.

“Because despite all the damage they’ve presumably already done, they have not claimed responsibility. In my experience, terrorists do that only after they’ve finished their grand plan,” Hunnigan responded and took a step toward the door when Helena moved to block her, gripping Hunnigan’s forearm, her grip soft but still very firm.

“You’re not a field agent, you could get hurt, or worse! If you seriously think that I’m gonna let you...”she began to say and Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow, pulling herself free from Helena’s grip.

“First of all, one doesn’t have to be a field agent to know how to defend themselves and second of all, I didn’t ask for your permission and I certainly don’t need it,” Hunnigan scoffed, “I appreciate your concern and you’re right, I’m not a field agent; in fact, I’m not an agent at all at the moment, I am just a civilian who has developed a serious concern for the local forest,” she added, shrugging nonchalantly.

“If you go out there, I can’t look out for you, and I...”  
“Helena, relax, I’m not parachuting into occupied France; I’m going to stand in front of a building and hassle the employees as they try to get to work...”

“If you get arrested, I won’t bail you out,” Helena interjected, but Hunnigan ignored her.

“I’ll be there, listening, watching, trying to figure out when and where, and trying to identify possible targets or key members. And the reason I can get away with it is because I don’t stick out from the crowd. You do,” Hunnigan finished, took a step to the left and pushed past Helena.

“I’ll see you later.”  
“Be careful.”

“I always am.”  
“...and what do you mean I stick out?” Helena then questioned, turning to look at Hunnigan. The older woman just chuckled, shaking her head a little and exited the room.

“I do not stick out,” Helena muttered and glanced over her reflection in the mirror. Yes, she stuck out.

_I should’ve packed more flannel._

* * *

Helena waited at the diner for Selverstone’s assistant and the forest ranger to come meet her. They’d agreed to take her to the woods, namely to check out the cabin where the loggers had been staying until they’d gone missing. According to the reports Helena had gotten from Lieutenant Makris, no one had been at the cabin yet, which she considered more than just a tad strange.

“It’s a long way to go and with the stories about monsters and people disappearing, it’s no wonder no one’s been there yet,” Selverstone’s assistant Tara offered when Helena voiced out her suspicions.  
“So, what, fifteen people go missing and the cops just shrug and say they’d love to help but they’re too scared?” Helena scoffed.

“There really is not enough manpower and there have been search parties, but there’s only so much you can do, especially with the amount of... protesters and tourists in town; the cops have their hands full just trying to interview everyone,” Tara sighed.

“So, why didn’t Makris call for backup?”  
“Don’t ask me why she does or does not do something, that woman’s a bitch... and that’s the nicest thing I can say about her.”

When the ranger finally arrived, he didn’t stay for breakfast or even for coffee. He made it clear that he would much prefer getting back from the woods before it got dark and would’ve preferred heading out earlier.

“Oh, right, sorry, I’ve forgotten my manners it seems, spent too much time in the woods,” he smirked and extended his arm, “Finn,” he introduced himself then and Helena returned the gesture, shaking his hand. They then got into the car and began heading into the woods.

Helena decided to make use of the time and asked Finn if he knew anything about the Lickers or Jenova. He hadn’t seen anything out of the ordinary, not even after he’d heard of unusual things happening and been more alert. He chuckled when Helena asked his opinion on the environmentalists.

“Honestly, I agree with some of their principles, but their methods make me cringe,” Finn shrugged.  
“Hmm,” Helena hummed and leaned back in the seat then, focusing her attention once more to all the reports Olivia had sent her. She tried accessing the agency database only to realize there was no reception here.

 _I don’t know what I was expecting. Why didn’t I bring the BGAN?_ she sighed internally and closed the laptop. Well, considering even that would’ve required a clear view of the sky, she supposed it wouldn’t have necessarily done the trick either with all the trees in the way.

After an almost three hour drive deep into the woods, they finally arrived at the cabin. When Helena wondered out loud why the loggers had to venture in so deep, Tara let her know that it was because most of the timber closer to town was marked protected. She also took that as a chance to once more remind Helena that Selverstone lumber’s operations were respectful and legal, which was also why they got their timber from here even if it was inconvenient.

“I see,” Helena muttered, but internally thought the lady protested a bit too much.

Finn took a moment to look for any signs of sabotage or struggles. He checked the vehicles and confirmed they’d been sabotaged, which explained why the loggers had needed to try making their way out of the woods on foot rather than just pack themselves into a car and drive home.

Helena tried the front door and discovered it unlocked. She pushed it open slowly, unholstering her pistol, unsure what to expect. Frankly, she’d been kind of expecting to discover a mess of dried blood and a bunch of Lickers hiding under the bunks, but the cabin was relatively tidy, apart from some food that had been left out on the table and had now gone bad.

“Seems they were shooting at something,” Finn commented, pointing out the bullet holes by the broken window.  
“All of the broken glass is inside, so someone or something came through it and the men tried to defend themselves,” Helena mused.

“Yeah, but there’s no blood anywhere. I suppose they didn’t hit anything,” Tara noted.  
“Maybe they were warning shots and that was enough to scare the person who broke the window, undoubtedly in an attempt to scare the loggers?” Finn suggested.

“If that’s what happened, where are the loggers? Clearly, they left in a hurry, why would they do that if they’d managed to scare away whoever or whatever it was that broke the window?” Helena questioned as she paced around the cabin.

“What are you saying?” Tara frowned and Helena sighed.  
“I’m saying that there is something out there that is enough to scare fifteen armed men so badly they’d literally run into the woods rather than stay here,” she said.

“What makes you think they ran into the woods?” Finn frowned.  
“Well, do you see them here? No, and there’s no blood, nothing outside suggest they struggled near the cabin. They ran.”

“So, how are we supposed to find them?” Tara asked and Helena shared a knowing glance with Finn. They both knew there was probably nothing left to find at this point.

* * *

It was late when Helena finally got back to town. She was tired, annoyed and hungry. Annoyed at the local police for not taking the time to check out the cabin sooner, tired because of the long-ass ride and hungry because she hadn’t realized she should’ve packed a lunch and dinner before leaving. Instead of dragging her tired and cranky self to the diner for a decent meal, Helena bought potato chips and a candy bar from the vending machine at the motel.

 _And I swear to God, if you eat my cash and give me nothing in return, I will murder you,_ she mentally warned the machine as she pushed the buttons for her items. Luckily for her and the machine, she got her junk food without any problems. She grabbed the items and headed into her room, entering quietly in case Hunnigan was already asleep, but the room was empty.

“Weird,” Helena muttered and glanced at her watch. It was close to midnight, she doubted Hunnigan would’ve gone as far as to actually camp out at the parking lot of Selvertone lumber. She was just about to call Hunnigan when there was a rustle at the door. She waited for a moment, her frown deepening when whoever was trying to get in seemed to repeatedly fail at their mission. Helena put her snack away, placed her hand on the back of her gun that was still on the holster on her hip and took a few soft and quiet steps toward the door. She reached for the handle, waited another moment and finally yanked the door open and drew her weapon.

“Don’t do that, I have a heart condition, you could’ve killed me!” Hunnigan exclaimed and pressed her palm against her chest to emphasize her point, both of them knowing she was exaggerating.  
“I could’ve shot you, what are you-?” Helena began to ask, but left the rest unsaid when she realized Hunnigan was drunk.

“You smell like bourbon,” she then smirked and holstered her gun before pulling the entire holster off of her belt and putting it onto the table.  
“Would you believe me if I told you it’s a new perfume I’m trying on?”

“Not even if you weren’t slurring and unable to stand up straight,” Helena chuckled, shaking her head.  
“Yeah, well, don’t judge me, I literally have to leave town if I want to do fun things like get publicly wasted, I’ve got a reputation to protect in D.C.,” Hunnigan mumbled, stepping inside and leaning to untie her shoe laces.

“Careful!” Helena yelped and stepped in front of her and caught Hunnigan when she realized the other woman was about to fall forward and land face first onto the floor.  
“This is terribly uncomfortable,” Hunnigan uttered weakly, her forehead resting against Helena’s thighs as the younger woman kept her from falling by snaking her arms underneath Hunnigan’s.

“You think?” Helena scoffed and pulled Hunnigan up.  
“Oh, I have to tell you something!” the taller woman then gasped as she straightened her back and firmly gripped Helena’s forearm and bicep for support as she kicked her shoes off.

“Yeah?”  
“Your arms are really muscular.”

“That’s what you had to tell me?” Helena quirked an eyebrow.  
“No, that was just an observation,” Hunnigan rolled her eyes and pulled back from Helena’s supporting grip, insisting she would manage across the room and to the bed by herself. She made it, but when she attempted to lie down on the bed, she got a little too close to the edge and promptly slid off it and tumbled to the floor.

“All right, come on, I got you,” Helena smirked and reached to help Hunnigan up and to the bed at last.  
“So, uh, what was it that you had to tell me?” she then asked and cleared her throat a little awkwardly when Hunnigan decided that passing out ontop of Helena would do just fine.

“Yeah, okay, so, the reason I may be a wee bit tipsy is because some of the people from the group went out for drinks and I was asked to join and while there, I think I accidentally kind of made friends with a couple of people... whose names I really can’t remember right now. I think one of the guys was named Joel something.”

“...so, you needed me to know that you’ve made a friend named Joel Something?”

“No, stop interrupting me. Jesus, so rude,” Hunnigan began again in a mutter and pushed herself upward, doing a clumsy half-push up to be able to look at Helena, and the younger woman pressed herself against the pillows tighter to gain a bit more distance between herself and Hunnigan who was so close their noses were almost touching, and even at a greater distance, Hunnigan’s bourbon and coke infused breath wasn’t exactly pleasant.

“They said that Selverstone has been cutting down trees that had been marked protected and that the local authorities and the ranger aren’t doing anything about it,” Hunnigan finally told Helena the gossip before slumping back down ontop of her.

“But why?”

“Well, you get a hell of lot more timber from one huge five hundred year old tree than you do from smaller, unprotected ones... and cutting down one big tree instead of ten small ones saves time and as we know, time is money,” Hunnigan speculated sleepily against the side of Helena’s neck.

“And if the cops don’t do anything and neither does the ranger, I wouldn’t be surprised if Jenova would resort to B.O.W.s to get their point across... But if Selverstone is behind it, why would he call in the Feds?” Helena wondered. She glanced at Hunnigan and then slowly reached to pick the glasses from the other woman’s face, imagining that passing out with them on had to be uncomfortable. Helena put them onto the night stand and sighed a little ruefully then. She was still hungry, but she didn’t think she’d be able to slip away and was stuck being Hunnigan’s body pillow for the night.

“Maybe Selverstone didn’t know, maybe the loggers were the ones who decided to cut down the protected trees and then spend the rest of the time on their contract essentially getting paid for camping since the bigger trees would be enough to fill their quota faster,” Hunnigan offered readjusting herself a little to be more comfortable and finally fell asleep.

“Maybe,” Helena agreed softly. Her stomach grumbled and she exhaled deeply through her nose. She didn’t have the heart to leave the bed and possibly wake Hunnigan, she’d just have to wait until morning.

***

 

Art was created by [Oceanmyhope](https://oceanmyhope.tumblr.com/), view in full size [here](http://i.imgur.com/UdVtXkr.jpg).


	6. Leapfrog

_I am going to die,_ was Hunnigan’s first thought when she woke up feeling so thirsty and sick she swore her thought was not an exaggeration at all.

 _Calm down, you bastard,_ she then mentally told her heart that was beating at its usual rapid pace, only the hangover seemed to intensify the thumping noise in her ears. Inhaling and exhaling deeply, she slowly turned to lie on her back and reached for her glasses that were on the nightstand. She then glanced at her wrist watch and blew out another breath.

It was closer to ten in the morning, Helena surely had already gone out to continue the investigation in town. Before leaving, however, she’d apparently predicted Hunnigan might be feeling horrible in the morning; Hunnigan noticed that her teddybear was sitting on the table next to an ice bucket that had three bottles of water in it.

“How thoughtful, remind me to buy her lunch for this,” Hunnigan told the teddybear as she grabbed a bottle and emptied almost half of it in a single gulp.

“Oh, you’re up!” Helena smirked when she entered the room.  
“Please, not a word,” Hunnigan grumbled.

“All right, but only because your drunken kinda-sorta undercover-work paid off,” the younger woman promised.  
“You found something?” Hunnigan asked after taking another long sip from the bottle, her eyebrows rising a little in surprise.

“Yeah, you said the cops and ranger don’t do anything despite being provided evidence that Selverstone’s loggers were cutting down trees marked protected, right?”  
“I vaguely remember saying something like that...” Hunnigan said slowly, raising the bottle to her lips once more and emptying it.

“I went to confront Selverstone about it. He didn’t know, and my gut says he’s telling the truth, so I had Olivia take a better look at the assistant and the ranger.”  
“And there’s a connection?”

“Yeah, get this; the assistant is related to one of the loggers that went missing, they’re cousins to be exact... and the ranger is more or less dating Lieutenant Makris.”

“Helena, please, I’m hungover and not at my sharpest, I don’t understand what you’re telling me,” Hunnigan sighed, grabbed her teddybear and scuffed across the room, slumping back into the bed. Helena chuckled softly at the sight of her and followed, taking a seat at the foot of the bed.

“Selverstone is clean and he has the necessary permits for the business he’s conducting, but when Liv went through the assistant’s financial records, she found out that Tara has quite an impressive amount of cash for someone who is allegedly making about thirty thousand annually, before taxes,” she began and Hunnigan nodded, frowning as the tried to piece it together.

“So, another company paid the assistant and her cousin... or him and then her, either way... and they used Selverstone’s manpower and equipment to cut down protected trees for high quality hardwood for someone else,” she summarized.

“Yeah, and they obviously paid the ranger and Makris to look the other way too.”  
“Wow, this is a lot bigger than I thought it would be.”

“Agreed, but that’s none of our concern, we’re here about the Lickers.”  
“Wait, what? Are you saying you’re just gonna ignore the rest?” Hunnigan scoffed and sat up.

“Of course not,” Helena shook her head, feeling a bit insulted Hunnigan would even think that, “I’ve handed everything we gathered to internal affairs and the F.B.I., so they can sort that shit out or find out who should sort it out anyway.”

“Right,” Hunnigan muttered.  
“And all it took was you to do my job for me,” Helena smirked and nudged Hunnigan’s leg with her elbow.

“Hah, all I did was get drunk with a bunch of talkative strangers,” the older woman chuckled.  
“Teamwork,” Helena said and held up her fist. Hunnigan bumped it with her own.

“Pow,” Helena whispered softly, imitating an explosion, wiggling her fingers and Hunnigan chuckled at that.  
“So, what happens next?” she then asked.

“Well, I suppose the next step would be figuring out what Jenova’s next target it, I don’t think they’re done. I’m going to go ask Selverstone if he’s planned on hiring more loggers and continuing his project. I doubt he will just drop everything and leave, and I doubt Jenova will just leave town either,” Helena offered and Hunnigan nodded. It made sense.

“Considering that the Lickers aren’t roaming in the streets freely, I’m assuming that someone’s controlling them, maybe I can do some leapfrogging to figure out who it could be,” Hunnigan mumbled and ran her hand over her chin as she thought about it.

“I don’t know what that means,” Helena confessed, fairly certain that her mental image of Hunnigan literally playing leapfrog wasn’t what she’d meant with it.

“If I can’t get anything from here, I could try it in person,” Hunnigan said, not answering Helena’s question, her mind racing to other matters as she pulled out her laptop and logged in, her fingers fox trotting over the keys as she got to work.

“You’re supposed to be on vacation, Liv and I should be working this, remember?”  
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Hunnigan muttered absently and made a dismissive gesture with her hand, and Helena rolled her eyes, sighing deeply.

“I’m going to go talk to Selverstone,” Helena then said.  
“Mmhm,” Hunnigan merely nodded, obviously not listening and Helena gave up. She exited the motel room and dialed Olivia as she got into the car and began heading toward Selverstone’s office.

“Sorry, I got nothing new,” Olivia said after greeting Helena over the phone.  
“Me neither, and I really called to ask you what leapfrogging means... you know, in your desk jockey language, not literally,” Helena smirked.

“Let me guess, Hunnigan’s forgotten she’s on vacation.”  
“Well, she did get drunk last night, that’s something.”

“Oh, I would pay to see her drunk!” Olivia said dramatically, obviously mourning the missed opportunity.  
“It wasn’t pretty,” Helena chuckled.

“Damn. Okay, right, leapfrog. It’s when you get someone’s information, say... I wanted to leapfrog to Hunnigan, I would start by getting the D.S.O.’s employee list, send a link to someone relatively low in the food chain, they click it and I get their info without them knowing anything about it.”

“All right,” Helena said slowly, managing to keep up so far.

“I log on as that person and leapfrog from one impersonation to another until I can pretend to be a high-level colleague whom my target, namely Hunnigan in this scenario, would trust enough to click on a link they sent. And once Hunnigan does that, I can hijack her information. And once I am as high up the food chain as Hunnigan, I can pretty much do whatever I want.”

“Oh, I see, okay. Hunnigan also said she intends to do the same in person, now that makes sense too.”  
“In person? I’m a genius, and now I’m confused,” Olivia frowned deeply.

“She’s made some friends with the protesters in town, I’m assuming she intends to somehow leapfrog her way through to genuine Jenova-members... probably not by impersonating others, but by getting the big shots to vouch for her,” Helena elaborated and Olivia paused for a moment, and Helena could practically hear her look of disbelief.

“Hunnigan’s working undercover? She _does_ realize she’s not a field agent?”  
“She doesn’t seem to believe that.”

“Helena, you _are_ keeping an eye on her, aren’t you? I mean, I love Hunnigan as much as the next person, but I also know she can be arrogant enough to genuinely think nothing bad could ever happen to her.”

“Yeah, I’ve begun noticing that. Look, I promise you, I’m doing everything I can and if she does somehow manage to ‘leapfrog’ her way to Jenova-members, I’ll... handcuff her to the radiator or something if she intends to run off by herself.”

“Good. Except, cuff her to the bed and take pictures.”

“Pervert,” Helena burst out laughing.  
“You know you love it,” Olivia winked with a chuckle.

* * *

 

When Helena got to Selverstone’s office, he thanked her for her efforts to help clear his name regarding the allegations about cutting down protected trees. Once the pleasant part of the meeting was over, he then proceeded to hand Helena the most recent threat he’d received.

“Apparently, they weren’t happy with simply shutting down my logging project, they want to put me out of business completely,” Selverstone scoffed as Helena read the note in which Jenova threatened to blow up Selverstone’s sawmill.

“I assume you’ve taken precautions.”  
“Of course I have, but at this point, I’m beginning to think I’d need to hire a personal army to be able to put an end to this.”

 _If Jenova’s deploying Lickers, an army would indeed come in handy,_ Helena mused.

“I’d like to go check out the sawmill,” she said out loud then.  
“Be my guest. Not sure what you’re expecting to find, but I’ll call ahead and let them know you’re coming.”

“Thanks. I’ll be in touch,” Helena then promised and headed out.

As she exited the building, she noticed the familiar group of activists still camped outside, only there didn’t seem to be quite as many as before. Most of them were probably too hungover to turn up. Not Hunnigan, though, and Helena almost made the mistake of waving a hello when she saw a familiar face in the crowd. She forced her hand down and proceeded to walk toward her car, merely glancing at Hunnigan.

She was talking to a bearded man who was about as tall as she was, he wore faded jeans and a black plaid shirt. Maybe the man was Joel Something, the new friend Hunnigan had made. Helena turned to look away when Joel suddenly seemed to notice her and glared straight into her eyes.

“Hey!” Hunnigan called out when she noticed Helena and the younger woman turned around, her eyebrows rising in surprise, then lowering into a deep frown.

 _What are you doing?_ she tried asking with her stare.

“I hope you’re proud of yourself, helping the likes of Selverstone.”

“...I’m here to investigate the disappearance of fifteen people, I don’t care about your agenda any more than I care about Selverstone’s business,” Helena responded, still staring holes into Hunnigan, trying to understand because judging from the expression on Hunnigan’s face, she had something urgent to say, but couldn’t do it now.

 _Sorry,_ she mouthed.

 _What?_ Helena frowned a fraction of a second before Hunnigan’s fist impacted into her cheek. The crowd behind her let out a collective exclaim of surprise followed by a few scattered chuckles and hoots encouraging Hunnigan’s behavior.

“You do realize you just assaulted a federal agent? You’re under arrest,” Helena said then, rubbing her cheek with one hand and reached to grip Hunnigan’s arm with the other, barely managing to stifle a laugh of disbelief when someone in the crowd shouted “Police brutality!”

Helena walked Hunnigan to the car and they proceeded to go through the motions.

“Tell Olivia to check out Joel Declerque, I think he might be pretty high up the food chain in the local Jenova cell,” Hunnigan murmured as she leaned her palms against the hood of the car, Helena standing close behind her, leaning to her as she reached to grip Hunnigan’s right wrist before then pulling it behind the other woman’s back.

“Do you know anything about their plans regarding Selverstone’s sawmill?” Helena asked in a quiet mumble, her mouth still right next to Hunnigan’s ear as she reached for the taller woman’s left wrist, proceeding with exaggerated slowness to allow them more time to talk privately.

“Only that they _have_ plans. You have to let me go, and you might wanna hurry before they decide to wolfpack you,” Hunnigan said and with that Helena straightened her back and turned around, gripping Hunnigan’s shoulder and wrists as she faced the crowd that was one second away from turning into an angry mob.

“You know what? I’m gonna do something green and save a few trees by not bothering to get started on the paperwork that arresting you would require,” Helena then said and undid the cuffs around Hunnigan’s wrists before giving her a small push.

“It’s your lucky day, go buy a lottery ticket,” she then scoffed, put her cuffs back into her utility belt and got into her car.

 

***


	7. Spark

“...so, in short, he’s a very bad man!” Olivia summarized the long list of crimes Joel had been accused of, but never convicted mainly because the witnesses had tended to go missing and the evidence against him was anything but waterproof and air tight.

“Well, no surprise there.”  
“What happened to your face?” Olivia then frowned when she noticed the bruise on Helena’s cheek.

“Hunnigan’s fist happened. She had to make it look good... and I think she was still angry at me for borrowing her toothbrush.”

“What kind of a freak uses someone else’s toothbrush?” Olivia exclaimed loudly, making a disgusted face. Helena merely pointed at herself with her thumb when something seemed to catch Olivia’s attention on another screen.

“What’s happening?” she then asked after giving Olivia a moment.

“Jenova’s just released a very angry rant and claimed responsibility for the missing loggers, and there’s a bunch of very disturbing pictures here as evidence of their actions... You have to get Hunnigan away from them. Like, right now!”

“Aw, fuck!” Helena spat and grabbed the car keys, already hurrying out of the motel room, barely listening to Olivia anymore. She was hoping to find Hunnigan and the rest of the group still at Selverstone headquarters, but when she got there, the parking lot was empty. Whatever their plan was, it had already been set in motion.

“Shit. Shit, shit shit,” Helena hissed as she turned the car around and sped toward the sawmill, dialing Hunnigan’s number, but of course there was no answer. The mill was built relatively deep in the woods by the river, the odds were there was little to no reception there.

Helena turned the wipers on as she sped through the first drops of rain that quickly turned into a downpour. The heavy, gray mass of clouds hanging low in the sky seemed to darken the day prematurely, and thunder murmured softly in the distance, giving a few warnings before it would escalate into a storm.

When Helena got to the sawmill, she could hear an alarm going off in the distance, accomanied by scattered shouts and screams. She grabbed her vest and hastily patted through the pockets to ensure once more she’d packed her ammunition –kind of a pointless check because there was no chance she hadn’t packed them, but better safe than sorry. She zipped it up in a single hurried yank, reached to get the Hydra from the backseat and finally ran toward the building.

The group of activists who weren’t a part of Jenova had apparently been used as a distraction, and it seemed to have worked. While the guards had concentrated on them, Jenova had made their move and it had become obvious to everyone outside of Jenova that they had no regard for anyone’s safety, not even their own, but least of all a bunch of civilians; they were being slaughtered by the Lickers that had been released into the mill.

 _I have to find the person controlling them and force them to stop,_ Helena thought, looking around to see anyone who wasn’t trying to run for their life. No one so far, but considering the Lickers were all coming from the same direction, she assumed that whoever was sending them over had to be across the compound. She rushed over, pushing against the mass of panicking people, wanting to fire at the monsters, but not being willing to risk hitting someone, and that was a problem with everyone and everything being just one blurry flood of terrified people.

When Helena finally made it to the other side of the enclosure, she found Joel and Hunnigan standing by an older man in a wheelchair.

“Call them back,” Helena ordered, raising her gun and Joel smiled.

“If you shoot Declan, who’s gonna call them back?” he asked and Helena’s eyebrows rose in surprise. _This_ was Jenova’s leader? Of course, it made sense. He was growing older, wanted to go out with a bang. Apparently Joel was the next in line to take over.

“Maybe I’ll shoot you instead.”  
“I thought you might go there, which is why I have a little insurance. You do realize that after infection, death is practically inevitable?” he said and held up a needle containing a Plaga egg.

“When Declan’s work here is done, I’ll find someone else to take over the Plaga... and I personally don’t care who the next recipient is, but I get the feeling you would object to your friend here receiving that honor,” Joel smirked, pushing the needle into the back of Hunnigan’s neck, but not pressing the plunger down, yet. Hunnigan exhaled quietly through clenched teeth at the sting of the needle spiking into her neck, but she sure as hell had no intention of giving Joel the pleasure of hearing her plead.

“And, please, spare me the melodramatic ‘go ahead, I don’t even know her’-play, because I’m not stupid nor blind,” he then added, rolling his eyes a little and Helena frowned, almost wanting to question how did he supposedly know anything, but of course, the obvious answer was he’d probably seen them together before at some point. Something Hunnigan had failed to take into account when making her grand plan of going undercover.

“What the hell are you waiting for? Shoot him!” Hunnigan yelled at Helena. The younger woman gave her a stern look, praying that she would get the message because they only had one shot at this, and if Hunnigan wouldn’t realize to react, she’d be infected.

Instead of shooting Joel, Helena threw her gun at him and when he instinctively raised his hand to catch what was thrown at him, Hunnigan yanked herself away from him, leaning forward, the needle twisting painfully as she pushed herself apart from him. Helena then drew the Hydra and jumped forward, reaching to pull Hunnigan behind herself and to safety before shoving the shotgun under Joel’s chin and pulling the trigger.

“Call them back!” she then ordered Declan, pointing the gun at him, but he didn’t respond. She repeated the command and stepped closer as Hunnigan reached to pick up the syringe Joel had held. She perused the item in her hands closely and heaved a heavy sigh of relief when she saw that the Plaga egg was still floating in the light red liquid.

As Helena was about to repeat herself for the third time, Declan suddenly jumped at her. He was too far gone, already at the mercy of the parasite that had taken over, his control of the Lickers gone with what had been left of him.

“Shit!” Helena hissed as she struggled to keep the rabid man at an arm’s length long enough to be able to aim the shotgun at him. A handgun really would’ve been preferable at this range.

Helena jolted a little in surprise when a loud gunshot ripped through the air, overtaking even the sound of thunder and the people in the background, and a warm spray of blood and tissue stained her face. Grunting, she shoved at Declan’s corpse and took a few steps back, needing a safe distance despite becoming aware of the fact that he’d just been rendered harmless by a nine millimeter bullet to the brain.

“Thanks,” she muttered to Hunnigan then and slowly reached to take the gun from the taller woman, who reluctantly released her grip on it, still obviously trying to wrap her mind around the fact that she’d just shot someone. Helena wasn’t unsympathetic; Declan had been infected and as good as dead anyway, yes, but Helena assumed this was the first time Hunnigan had ever fired a gun at someone and killed them. That said, this was not the time to freeze and begin contemplating the effects of taking a life, they had to move.

“Hunnigan...”  
“I’m fine, I’m okay. Really,” she assured a bit too easily, indicating she wasn’t, but Helena didn’t argue.

“We have to find the Lickers and get rid of them before they have a chance to escape into the woods, because if that happens, it won’t matter even if called the entire agency to try and find them, we wouldn’t.”  
“I doubt they would venture very far from the town where the food is,” Hunnigan speculated and Helena narrowed her eyes a little. Rational and logical even now, but of course, her argument did make sense.

“Do you remember how many there were?” Helena then asked, reloading the shotgun.  
“Nine,” Hunnigan responded without hesitation.

“All right. I want you to find someplace-”  
“No, I’m coming with you,” Hunnigan interrupted impatiently, almost downright angry at Helena’s audacity to even suggest she should just duck and run.

“Are you kidding me!”

“I’m a good shot and you need all the help you can get. Give me the pistol and let’s go, this has gone on far enough,” Hunnigan snapped, holding out her hand and Helena found herself reluctantly having to give in and placed the handgun into Hunnigan’s hand.

* * *

Helena got dressed in clean clothes after being cleared and allowed to leave the quarantine area the CDC and D.S.O. had set up upon their arrival to the scene and cordoning it off from the public.

“Hey! You did a pretty clean job for your first solo mission,” Leon complimented when Helena made her way over to him. He and Olivia were busy preparing the statements the agencies responsible for closing the investigation and for cleaning up the site would make to the public. Telling the absolute truth wasn’t an option for obvious reasons.

“I wish I could say it was a solo mission, Hunnigan really hijacked the spotlight from me,” Helena smiled lopsidedly.

“You and me both, sister,” Olivia commented, finished typing the first draft of the statement; a story about a bear that had been targeted by a poacher whose bullet hadn’t killed the bear, but instead had caused brain damage which had rendered the animal mad enough to go on a killing spree and eat people. It sounded so weird people would have to deem it real because, as always, truth was stranger than fiction.

“You two seem to make a good team. Should I be worried she’ll replace me as your partner?” Leon teased before turning his attention to the story Olivia had written, soon to be planted in the news. He nodded his approval, not that Olivia was really expecting or needing it from him.

“Well, based on what she told me, she’s technically not allowed in the field as an agent, but if she decides to make her future vacations like this one, maybe,” Helena taunted back.  
“Hunnibear!” Olivia then exclaimed happily, put the laptop away and hurried over to the taller woman who was emerging from the quarantine area.

“Do not call me that,” Hunnigan grumbled, trying to keep the annoyed look on her face, but melting into a smile when Olivia hugged her tightly.  
“You okay?” Olivia then asked as she pulled back from the hug and walked with Hunnigan to the van the D.S.O. was using as their mobile base while on site.

“I need a vacation,” Hunnigan sighed and Olivia burst out laughing.  
“And I’m sure that for your next vacation, you’ll find yourself a delightfully creepy cabin in the woods, or something else from a horror movie.”

“Well, you have to admit, a cabin in the woods _does_ have all the makings of a great time.”  
“You’re insane.”

“And you’re whatever is beyond insane,” Hunnigan smiled sweetly.

“Oh, you have no idea,” Olivia laughed, bumping her shoulder against Hunnigan’s playfully.

  
***


	8. Heartbreak warfare

_Okay, all right. It’s like having a tooth pulled; uncomfortable and possibly painful, but afterward, I’ll be glad,_ Helena thought to herself as she sat in her car. She’d been avoiding going home, going to Ryan, and had not let her know she’s been back in town for three days now. She’d finally decided to get it over with and had managed to make it to the apartment building’s parking lot where her courage had ran out, rendering her unable to get out of the car. She’d been sitting here, chain smoking for over an hour.

“Come on, just fucking do it,” she told herself and grabbed her phone, hitting dial before she could chicken out once more.  
“Hey! Are you back?” Ryan asked, obviously happy to hear from Helena.

“Yeah,” she replied awkwardly and reached for the pack of cigarettes again. Empty. She crumpled it in her fist and threw it onto the floor on the passenger’s side.  
“Is everything okay?”

“I guess, it’s just... I’m on my way home, I just wanted to... let you know.”  
“Okay, uh, what time will you be here?”

“Maybe... in an hour,” Helena said slowly, deciding she needed more time to gather herself up, but deciding that setting a deadline would probably do the trick and force her to move eventually.  
“Great, I’ll see you soon then. I love you.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you too,” Helena muttered and ended the call.

She spent the following hour and a half going over everything she wanted to say, trying to practice some kind of a speech, trying to figure out how to do this with the least possible damage to everyone involved and avoid the typical, shitty “it’s not you, it’s me”-excuses and the likes. It was proving to be a lot more difficult than she’d thought. Finally, she gave up on trying and got out of the car and entered the building.

The jingle of her keys at the door sounded somehow way too loud, and she was certain she looked as guilty as she felt. She couldn’t quite figure out _why_ she felt that way, she hadn’t done anything wrong, but knowing that didn’t erase the feeling of having a fist reach into her gut and clench her insides.

“Welcome home,” Ryan smiled and went to hug Helena, but pulled back then, “Oh, God, you reek of cigarettes.”  
“Yeah, sorry about that,” Helena chuckled and followed the other woman into the kitchen, kind of glad she’d managed to avoid the hug.

“What’s this?” her eyebrows rose at the set table and the bottle of wine breathing on the counter.

_Oh, damn it._

“Well, you sounded like you’d had a rough day, so I wanted to do something nice for you.”

“Thank you, that’s really sweet of you,” Helena said awkwardly and sighed deeply. Of course she’d go and do something nice right now and make this harder. Helena was almost tempted to postpone the uncomfortable conversation further, but managed to stick to her original decision.

This was nice, but it was just a fleeting moment. They’d had plenty of those, recently less and less of them. A steady calm of being together and loving each other had turned into a battlefield with the occasional truce that only left them both fearing the inevitable next fight. Besides, she’d told Ryan why she’d needed time away and without contact, what Helena had to say could not possibly come as a complete surprise to Ryan.

“Sit down, dinner’s almost ready. I made-” Ryan began to say but left the rest unsaid when Helena reached to pull her hands into her own.

“Ryan, we need to talk.”  
“What about?”

“I think you know,” Helena sighed, “About us. About the things we said and things that happened before I left. About how things have been between us for the past... half a year already,” she then listed quietly, staring at their hands for a long moment before finally daring to look up.

“And?” Ryan shrugged, her tone tensing up in a more than familiar way, in a way Helena had expected it would. Instead of having a conversation about it, she would end up having to listen to Ryan lash out, then there’d be the tears, possibly followed by even some promises to change and finally, the fishing for some signs of Helena still caring would begin with the more or less self-derogatory comments that usually were something along the lines of “I should’ve known you’d leave me because I’m not good enough”... even if that was nowhere near the truth. The fact that Helena was capable of this accurately predicting how the fight would go spoke volumes, loudly, about the sad truth which was that they’d been down this road too many times already. Only, the difference now was that in the past, Ryan had been the one who had initiated it when she’d decided to use the threat of breaking up as a tool to get her way.

“And, it became clear to me that we don’t function well as a couple anymore. We fight all the time and it’s getting more and more difficult to put everything back together after we’ve smashed it into pieces. I don’t have the energy to keep doing that anymore. I need... some calm. I need to know that I’m not...” Helena began and trailed off, having to pause to think her wording again. While she didn’t mean to sound like she was blaming it all on Ryan, she knew that was how it would sound.

“I think we both deserve to be in a relationship without constantly being at risk of getting into a fight with the other person. You and I... we can’t do that, not with each other. We misunderstand each other practically over everything nowadays,” she said, shaking her head a little and inhaling deeply before blowing out a tired breath. Past the point of no return, almost there.

“So, it’s obvious we can’t be together anymore. I’m sorry, but I can’t and I won’t do this anymore,” she finished, swallowing hard, expecting maybe to get slapped at least, but instead, Ryan just pulled her hands away from Helena’s and crossed her arms over her abdomen.

“Fine,” she shrugged one shoulder, and Helena’s eyebrows rose up almost all the way to her hairline.  
“Fine?” she repeated in disbelief as it dawned on her that maybe Ryan was letting her go just to see if she was serious, expecting Helena to be the one to change her mind when she’d realize that Ryan wouldn’t fight for her, that it should be Helena who fought for Ryan, just like it had been in the past. Sighing internally, Helena wished she could’ve made it clear that Ryan’s attempt at the role-reversal wasn’t working, but decided not to. If this was the way Ryan wanted to play it instead of taking Helena seriously, that was her choice.

“Fine,” Ryan confirmed over her shoulder after turning toward the kitchen counter and proceeding to pour herself a glass of wine.

“All right. I’ll pick up my things and go,” Helena said quietly.

She’d never owned much more than what fit in a suitcase; most of her belongings were already packed and in her car since she’d had the stuff with her while she’d been on the job. All that was left at the apartment were some clothes, her toothrush, a couple of pairs of shoes and boots, and a few books.

“Yeah, you do that,” Ryan commented, the venom building up within her becoming audible in her voice, but Helena didn’t blame her for being upset. Instead, she concentrated on gathering up her things quickly so that she could leave. She paused at the door and took the key to the apartment from her keychain.

“I’m... I’ll leave your key here,” she called out awkwardly.

“Fuck off!” Ryan responded.

“...right,” Helena whispered almost inaudibly. Yes, it was definitely time to go.

* * *

Hunnigan was on her way to leave the HQ for the night when she passed the office housing the field agents’ desks. She glanced to the side as she was moving past the open door and stopped mid-step when she saw Helena sitting at her desk. The laptop’s lid was open, but no light was radiating from the screen; either the computer wasn’t on or Helena hadn’t touched it in a while. Hunnigan knocked on the door frame softly before entering the room and taking a seat in Leon’s chair that was on his side of the desk opposite to Helena.

“If you want, I can pretend I don’t see the smeared mascara on your cheek from crying, but I can also stay if you want to talk about it,” she offered and Helena let out a rueful chuckle and ran the back of her hand over her cheeks to get rid of the smudges.

“I’m just trying to understand why I feel so bad now. I knew this was coming and I knew this was the right thing to do, but still.”  
“Even if the relationship wasn’t what it used to be, that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel sad and grieve its ending.”

“Frankly, I think I’ve done more than enough of grieving recently, and I’m getting sick of it,” Helena mumbled.

“I understand that, but it’ll get better. And yes, I know, that is such a platitude I’m almost ashamed of saying it out loud... but it also happens to be true,” Hunnigan said and Helena laughed softly before sniffling a little and inhaling deeply.

“Thanks, Hunnigan. I appreciate it.”  
“Anytime. So, how about you forget whatever it was that you were still doing here and go home?”

“Oh, I, um... I was thinking I’d be sleeping in the lounge, the apartment was Ryan’s, so technically, I’m more or less homeless right now,” Helena confessed, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly, “I know it’s kind of against agency policy to let agents use and abuse the napping cot or the couch unless they’re on duty, but... I won’t tell if you won’t,” she then grinned.

“Your secret is safe with me, but if you want, you can stay at my place with me until you find a place of your own,” Hunnigan then offered.  
“Seriously?”

“Yeah. I kinda got used to having you around, abusing my toothbrush,” Hunnigan smirked.  
“It happened only once out of necessityand I said I was sorry, _and_ I got you a new toothbrush immediately,” Helena narrowed her eyes and Hunnigan chuckled.

“Jokes aside, as I said, you’re welcome to stay with me, unless you’d prefer the lounge.”  
“I would very much prefer your couch over the lounge. Thank you.”

“Good, then get up and let’s go. You’re driving,” Hunnigan grinned and Helena burst out laughing. She honestly hadn’t thought she could genuinely laugh after what today had been like, but here she was. She felt she owed Hunnigan another thank you just for that.

After about fifteen minutes later, they arrived at Hunnigan’s building and she led the way, stopping to unlock the thick, charcoal-colored door at their destination.

“It’s not much, but I don’t need more than what I have,” Hunnigan shrugged when they entered the apartment and she threw her keys into the bowl on the small table by the door and by her bike that was resting against the wall next to the entrance.

“Are you kidding me? Your loft is amazing!” Helena exclaimed as she looked around before crossing the living room and checking out the view from the windows.

The kitchen was separated from the living room (which doubled as the dining room) by a bar counter and the washing machine at the end of it. A few feet away was the large L-shaped couch which neatly divided the space further. On the wall opposite to the large windows was a bookshelf and Hunnigan’s desk, the television and gaming console on the other side of the desk, facing the sofa. The upper level opened to the one below, the bedroom, bathroom and the closets up there.

“Make yourself at home, you can leave your stuff wherever you’d like, I’ll clear you a drawer later,” Hunnigan said and Helena nodded.  
“You wouldn’t happen to have an urge to move? Because I wouldn’t mind taking over your lease if you move,” she then grinned.

“Hah, I’ve lived here for about a decade, so at this point I’ve grown attached to the place, so no, sorry, you’re not getting my apartment,” Hunnigan laughed circling the bar counter and opening the fridge.  
“Are you hungry?” she then asked from Helena, and the loud growl the younger woman’s stomach made at the mere suggestion of getting fed was all the answer she needed.

“I call her Bertha and I apologize on her behalf, she has no manners,” Helena said, gripping her belly (well, the little that she could grip, it had been a lot easier when she’d been younger and and heavier, and capable of practically hugging her belly if she’d wanted to) and jiggling it a little.

“She would never turn down food, and I could eat too,” Helena then continued and Hunnigan chuckled.  
“I hope she likes leftovers.”

“They’re her favorite, right after pizza,” Helena assured, nodding eagerly.  
“If I had leftover pizza, she’d be over the moon. Alas, all I’ve got is rice, some heavily peppered cream sauce and... salmon.”

“Bertha and I are drooling... which is more impressive on her part than it is on mine since she doesn’t even have a mouth.”

* * *

Hunnigan woke up a little before two in the morning, which had been happening for a while now for reasons she couldn’t put her finger on. She usually managed to fall back asleep relatively quickly, but the quiet whimper followed by a sniffle she heard from downstairs caught her attention. She took a moment to consider her options.

She would’ve wanted to go over and say something to Helena, but knew there was no magic eraser that would just make the pain go away. Also it was quite clear Helena probably would’ve preferred being left alone, considering how she almost always insisted coming across as tough and like she could handle everything, the odds were she’d just be embarrassed at getting caught crying over a relationship... again. But, on the other hand, knowing that someone she’d recently begun considering a very good friend was hurting and doing nothing about it wasn’t something Hunnigan could bring herself to do either.

She got out of bed and went down the stairs, her bare feet making no sound on the solid wood and Helena inhaled sharply when she realized she wasn’t alone. She sighed then, swallowed hard and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand as Hunnigan took a seat next to her on the couch.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Helena apologized grimly.

“You didn’t wake me,” Hunnigan assured, shaking her head a little.

“Okay...”  
“I know you’re not all right, so I won’t ask about that.”

“I appreciate it.”  
“But if there’s anything I can do, you’ll let me know, right?”

“Sure.”  
“I mean it. What do you need?” Hunnigan asked, offering a rueful smile, moving to rest her hand on Helena’s forearm. The younger woman patted the back of it softly with her hand and nodded, sighing deeply once more.

“Except, you’re not getting my teddybear. Or my toothbrush,” Hunnigan then added, managing to make Helena laugh a little with that.  
“I think I just need a hug.”

“Those you can have as many as you’d like,” Hunnigan promised with a smile, wrapped her arms around Helena’s shoulders and pulled her close.  
“I’ll remember you said that,” Helena chuckled, leaning into Hunnigan and snuggling into the spot between her neck and shoulder. They stayed still like that in the silent darkness, but it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable, on the contrary, it felt surprisingly natural. Not bothering to resist the tiredness, Helena let her eyes close and gave in to the drowsyness that tugged at her as she began to fall asleep, still leaning into Hunnigan. 

***


	9. The day you died

“Wait, you’re living together?” Olivia exclaimed after Hunnigan remarked that Helena had been feeling down last night and suggested that Olivia goes ahead and leaves the office earlier and takes Helena out for a drink.  
“No, she’s staying at my place until she finds an apartment of her own, there’s a difference,” she sighed and turned to look at Olivia, frowning deeply at her when she realized the other woman’s eyes were brimming with tears.

“Are you... Olivia, are you crying? Why are you crying?”  
“I’m just so happy!” she said, fanning herself with her hand.

“Do you know how weird you are?”  
“I have some idea,” Olivia nodded and sniffled, “Excuse me,” she then said and exited the office space, passing Leon at the door as she headed over to the bathroom.

“Why is Liv crying?” Leon asked.  
“I honestly have no idea. And don’t give me that look, I didn’t say or do anything to her. At least, not that I know of,” Hunnigan muttered.

“Right, okay,” Leon then shrugged and leaned his hip against Hunnigan’s desk.  
“So, we didn’t have our traditional ‘case closed’-drink.”

“The case isn’t closed completely, we still don’t know where Jenova got the B.O.W.s from or where the rest of the cell is,” Hunnigan pointed out.  
“We still closed the first chapter of it at least, so..!”

“Leon...”  
“I know, I know, you don’t usually hang out with us peasants, but make an exception, I think it’s about time you did,” he smirked.

“You know what? Since you put it so nicely, I think I will,” Hunnigan grinned.

* * *

“Wow, I had no idea Adele and Taylor Swift even had written that many songs,” Olivia commented as she scrolled through Ryan’s social media feed and skimmed past practically every break up-song ever written.

“I know, right?” Helena scoffed.

“I’m also a little concerned because she’s posted _‘Better than revenge’_ probably about ten times in a row,” Olivia mumbled, biting the inside of her lower lip as she narrowed her eyes at the screen of her phone suspiciously.

“Oh, I forgot you were a profiler at the F.B.I. for a while too and find a deeper meaning in practically everything, whether it is there or not,” Helena chuckled teasingly.  
“I was a consultant at best, but that side of me would say that Ryan is convinced you left her because you have another woman,” Olivia quirked an eyebrow.

“Makes sense. There is no other woman, but Ryan was never good at taking responsibility and believing our relationship ended because I was cheating on her suits her better than the truth, she can blame it all on me and this imaginary other woman,” Helena shrugged.

“You make a very valid point,” Olivia nodded, “And, I’ll forgive you for forgetting that I’m old enough to have had practically every job imaginable if you pay me a compliment,” she then exaggerated with a smirk.

She was barely in her early thirties, but she _had_ had a lot of careers, mostly because she was unable to remain interested in one thing for prolonged periods of time. If she wanted to try something new, she went for it. However, the work at the D.S.O. was literally different almost every day, she was relatively certain she’d happily stay there until retirement.

“I forget because you don’t look a day over sixteen,” Helena said, her voice dripping with syrup and honey. Olivia scoffed and rolled her eyes at the flattery, but had to admit she did enjoy bantering with Helena.  
“So, how you holdin’ up?” Olivia then asked and put the phone away.

“I’m dealing with things the old fashioned way rather than make passive-aggressive status updates online,” Helena laughed, gave a quick nod toward her shotglass before emptying it and following it up with what was left in her pint of beer. She slammed the empty glass onto the table, shook her head a little and blew out a breath through her teeth.

“What you need is a rebound. A lil’ sumthin’-sumthin’ casual to patch you up,” Olivia said and Helena snorted.  
“Are you volunteering?” she teased and Olivia grinned.

“Oh, sweetie, I’d gladly be your rebound if I knew for sure that you wouldn’t do something stupid like fall in love with me afterward,” she wiggled her eyebrows and Helena chuckled, nodding her head.  
“Yeah, if you rocked my world, I’d expect a ring the morning after,” she commented before getting up and heading over to order another round of drinks.

“Down the hatch,” she said when she returned a few minutes later, clinked her shotglass against Olivia’s and emptied it in a single gulp before adding it ontop of the three glasses that were upside down on the table already.

“Nah, in all seriousness, I don’t do rebounds.”  
“You are too young to be such a prude,” Olivia then quirked an eyebrow and Helena laughed heartily.

“I’m not a prude, I’m actually very imaginative and fun in bed...”  
“Said every prude ever,” Olivia interjected, but Helena ignored her.

“...but one night stands and meaningless quickies, that just degrades its value, it’s just crappy sex.”  
“Compared to what?” Olivia frowned and Helena chuckled, shaking her head a little and took a long sip of her beer.

“I swear, no one understands true love anymore, it’s all about fucking to everyone else, or that’s what it certainly feels like,” she sighed sadly then.  
“And you still actually believe in true love? Or, you know, love at all?”

“Look, fucking is easy, anyone can do that. But making love...”  
“Again, you’re too young to be using that phrase,” Olivia grinned and Helena laughed.

“But that’s what it is with me. It’s not just sex, it’s not fucking; it’s making love. It’s about caring for each other and having a genuine connection. It’s about... pleasing the person I love and their enjoyment of me being my primary source of pleasure.”

“Helena...”  
“I’m pretty sure not a lot of people can say that every person they’ve slept with was genuinely loved by them. I can. And frankly, I’m pretty proud of that.”

“Helena...” Olivia tried again, but Helena interrupted once more.  
“Yeah, yeah, so cheesy and so stupidly romantic it probably makes you-” Helena began to dismiss her sentimental statement for Olivia.

“It makes me so wet I could keep a fish alive in my panties right now,” Olivia said, deciding it was her turn to do the interrupting and Helena laughed softly.

“Jokes aside, I get that you’re having a rough time, but you’ll be okay, and I wish that you’ll eventually find yourself sharing your life with someone who genuinely deserves you,” Olivia then said seriously and reached to pat Helena’s hand gently.

“Thanks. And don’t worry, I wouldn’t dream of risking our relationship with something as offensive as romantic love,” Helena dismissed and they both burst out laughing.  
“I flirt with you, you flirt back, that’s our thing, and that’s all there is to it, and it’s beautiful,” Olivia then agreed.

“Hey! Sorry I’m late, ladies,” Leon apologized when he made his way over to the booth where Helena and Olivia were. Helena stood up and as she was moving past Leon, she suddenly stopped, put her hands onto his cheeks and pulled him closer before planting a long, deep kiss onto his lips.

“Oh, my God,” Olivia gasped.

“Excuse you, that’s my man whose mouth you’re invading!” Claire Redfield scoffed annoyedly, crossing her arms over her abdomen. Helena broke the kiss with a resounding smack and pushed Leon aside to be able to see the brunette standing behind him.

“I’m sorry, let me make it even,” Helena said and before Claire had a chance to even process her words, Helena offered her the same treatment she’d just given Leon, only it became obvious she put more effort and more heart into this kiss. Also, this kiss went on a lot longer seeing as no one had the desire to put a stop to it... until Claire finally pulled back a little and Helena let her go, leaving the older woman standing there, staring at Helena as blankly as Olivia and Leon were staring at them both, holding their breaths as they waited to see what would happen next. Helena then smiled sweetly and walked away, disappearing into the crowd, heading for the bathroom.

“I have the weirdest boner right now,” Leon said hoarsely.  
“Me too,” Claire whispered.

* * *

 

“Where the fucking hell have you been!” Olivia demanded, grabbing Hunnigan by her arm and pulling her aside the moment she entered the bar.  
“Working!” Hunnigan scoffed and yanked her arm free, “What’s the matter with you?”

“You’re late! Helena’s... kissing people.”  
“Because I’m late?”

“What? No! It’s just... Oh, for fuck’s sake, just get over there, I’ll buy you a drink,” Olivia sighed, not capable of understanding how Helena and Hunnigan somehow genuinely were unaware of the chemistry between them. She couldn’t see how it was possible, there were so many damn sparks flying they were at risk of setting everything around them on fire. There weren’t many things she could say she genuinely found as frustrating as watching two people who were perfect for each other continuously walk past each other and miss the connection.

“Honestly, Leon, I can’t even,” Olivia mumbled as he paused to stand next to her at the bar, waiting for the bartender.  
“What?” Leon frowned. Of course, he had no means of knowing what she was referring to.

“Them!” she sighed in exasperation and gestured with her hand toward the booth where Hunnigan and Helena were sitting by themselves after Claire had excused herself to go play a round of pool.

Helena was leaning her arms to the table, her head turned to the side so that she was facing Hunnigan who sat to Helena’s left, resting her weight on her elbow and supporting her head on her fist which was tucked underneath her chin, her full attention on Helena as the younger woman spoke. Hunnigan then commented something which caused Helena to laugh and she bumped her shoulder into Hunnigan’s softly.

“What about them?” Leon frowned.  
“Are you blind? They’re practically nibbling and nuzzling at each other! I just want to run over there, scream ‘now kiss!’ and shove their faces together.”

“Oh, that! Yeah, I see what you mean,” he laughed softly and Olivia glanced at him.  
“So, I’m not just imagining it?”

“Not at all,” Leon assured, nodding his head a little, “You wanna tell them or should I?”  
“Don’t tell them! Jesus, what’s the matter with you?” Olivia gasped and Leon frowned. He couldn’t say he quite understood what the sudden outrage was about. Two seconds ago Olivia had been wanting to do it herself.

“They have to figure it out themselves, just telling them would ruin it. Plus, this is like a live-version of a romantic comedy... only more enjoyable, it’s all I have, don’t spoil it for me,” Olivia pouted and slapped Leon’s arm playfully.

“All right, all right,” he chuckled.  
“We’ll just do things like... start a game of truth or dare and get them to kiss each other, I’m sure if they do that, the flood gate opens and they’ll get it.”

“You’ve given playing Cupid between them a lot of thought, haven’t you?” Leon quirked an eyebrow and grabbed his drink and then the one he’d bought for Claire.  
“A well thought out plan is half executed,” Olivia smirked and headed back to the booth with Leon.

“All right! Is everyone sufficiently drunk for a game of truth or dare?” Leon asked and Olivia sighed a little. She hadn’t meant it quite that literally when she’d said it earlier, but then again, she supposed this could work.  
“Hunnigan, before you answer, drink this!” Olivia then said and slid a glass of vodka across the table.

“It’ll take more than one, but okay,” Hunnigan shrugged and downed the shot without even making a face.  
“Try bourbon next time,” Helena commented and Hunnigan jabbed her elbow into Helena’s ribs as Olivia narrowed her eyes at the inside joke, then smiled, happy that the two people she would’ve loved seen together as a couple already had an inside joke. It was a start.

* * *

“All right, we all know that you’re practically impossible to embarrass, but what is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you or that you’ve done?” Leon asked from Olivia and she had to pause for a long while before she could think of anything.

“I got thrown out from a strip club for molesting a stripper.”  
“I dread the answer, but I need more details,” Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow and Olivia laughed.

“I didn’t ‘molest’ anyone any more than you’d expect from a group of drunken women enjoying a bachelorette party. I was dating the bouncer at the time and him being the jealous type, he didn’t appreciate me grabbing at another man’s cock, so before I knew it, I was in a headlock and being tossed to the curb for molesting the stripper. That’s the most embarrassed I’ve ever been. I will not apologize for any of it though, it was all the bouncer’s fault, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it,” Olivia finished her story before turning her attention to Helena and asking her to choose between truth and dare, hoping the other woman would finally pick a dare, but of course she didn’t.

“Have you ever been with a man or are you a gold star lesbian?” Olivia then smirked, hoping that the more personal she got the with the truths, the more likely it would be Helena would pick a dare eventually.  
“Hah! I _have_ been with a man and I learned that size truly does not matter. He was a very gifted man in that area, but all I felt was bored,” Helena laughed and hiccupped then, pressing the back of her hand over her mouth.

“Liv, please... take my turn, I can’t think of anything to ask and you’re on a roll, and I need moment,” Helena then groaned and Olivia sighed.  
“I wanna take a group selfie before Helena passes out,” Claire then decided to take a break from the game and everyone squeezed in together to pose with her, and she proceeded to post the photo online.

“Do you mind if I tag you?” she paused to ask before doing that.  
“Nah, go ahead,” Helena shrugged.

“Just put me down as ‘buzzkill’,” Hunnigan smirked and Claire laughed, nodding a little as she typed on her phone, posting the image and then returning her attention to the people around her.  
“Okay, I dare you to tell me something about you that I do not know,” Olivia said to Claire then, slurring just a tad, but in her defense, she’d been here longer than the others had. Except maybe Helena, who seemed to be about two seconds away from slamming her forehead to the table and passing out.

“Sometimes, when I run out of clean underwear and I don’t have the time to do the laundry, I go commando,” she answered and then reached to press the back of her hand against the underside of Leon’s chin and gently pushed his mouth closed after his jaw dropped at the revelation.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you do the laundry,” Leon mumbled.  
“Of course not, I have you to do it for me,” Claire smiled sweetly and kissed him gently.

“Hunnigan! Truth or dare?” she then moved the game along.  
“Dare,” Hunnigan responded and finished her rum and coke, deciding she probably shouldn’t drink more... but then again, this was kind of a special occasion, and she was having a good time, which wasn’t always the case.

“Take off your glasses and drop the bun,” Claire ordered. Hunnigan sighed a little and shrugged in defeat before picking the glasses from her face and placing them onto the table, then reaching to undo the claw clip that held her hair up.

“Happy now?” she smirked, sunk her fingers into her hair and ruffled it a little, aiding the loosely curled hair to cascade over her shoulders.

“Yes,” Leon, Claire, Olivia and Helena all responded in unison and Hunnigan laughed out loud before excusing herself for a moment, saying she wanted to get another drink. Helena followed her example, got up as well and scooted out from the booth, having to pause for a moment and grip Hunnigan’s hips to keep herself from tripping completely after banging her foot into the table’s leg.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to grope you, I swear,” Helena said, still trying to regain her balance.  
“It’s okay, this is the most action I’ve gotten in years,” Hunnigan jokingly dismissed and turned to help the other woman stand up straight.

“Thanks,” Helena chuckled, now firmly gripping Hunnigan’s forearms, unintentionally pulling her closer until their bodies were practically pressed against each other. Olivia let out a tiny, quiet squeal and repeatedly jabbed her elbow into Leon’s ribs to silently and excitedly say “Do you see this!” He grunted and gripped her arm to say that yes, he saw it, no need to bruise his ribs further because of it.

“You okay?” Hunnigan then asked.  
“Yeah, I can stand,” Helena nodded and they let go of each other, proceeding to cross the space and make their way to the bar.

“...so close,” Claire mumbled, causing both Olivia and Leon to look at her curiously.  
“What? Oh, please, Sherry and I have had a bet going on for months now, and as long as those two end up together by the office Christmas party, I win,” Claire smirked.

“I wish you would have told me, I thought I was alone!” Olivia grumbled.

Within five seconds from that, everything shifted. One would imagine things happening in slow motion was a cliché perpetuated by the film industry for dramatic effect, but when it happened in real life, right there... the flow of time really did feel like it was disrupted.

Hunnigan was almost at the bar, Helena a couple of steps behind her. The door to the establishment opened and Ryan walked in with furious steps. She paused for a moment, heads turned toward her and most importantly, Helena’s head turned. Ryan needed her to see, needed her to know. When she was certain she had Helena’s attention, Ryan raised her arm. When she did, and when Helena realized the other woman held a gun in her hand, Helena instinctively reached to grip Hunnigan’s wrist.

The taller woman barely had a chance to register what was happening before she felt Helena forcefully yank on her arm. As Helena did that, Hunnigan took a slightly clumsy step to the side and Helena moved to the opposite direction, placing herself between Ryan and Hunnigan half a second before Ryan pulled the trigger.

The bullet impacted Helena’s right shoulder, fracturing the clavicle but thankfully not rupturing any veins as it tore through soft tissue and cartilage. It took Helena several seconds to comprehend what had happened. She stared at the wound, dumbfounded, before slowly raising her gaze and turning to look at Ryan who looked just as confused; when she seemed to realize what she’d done, she turned the gun on herself.

Leon stood in front of Olivia, having instinctively moved to shield her and Claire when he’d realized what was happening, but now Claire pushed past him, hoping to reach Ryan, but it was too late, everything was already set in motion.

Helena fell to the floor and Hunnigan knelt beside her the moment Ryan pulled the trigger for the second time, this time aiming at herself, the bullet ripping through the underside of her chin and lancing across her head, breaking sensitive parts of it into pieces and spreading the fragments in a red, gray and white mass of tissue and bone, splattered across the ceiling like a grotesque painting.

Hunnigan pressed her palms against the wound in Helena’s shoulder and the younger woman wondered why she couldn’t feel the pain, logically thinking, there should have been pain. There was so much blood, it should've hurt.

“Stay with me, Helena, stay with me, just hold on, come on...” Hunnigan said, pushing against the wound as heavily as she dared to, but it wasn’t helping; a generous amount of dark red stubbornly kept seeping from the wound and through Hunnigan’s fingers no matter how hard she tried to stop it.

“Please, let me stay, I just want to... I want to be here, I don’t want to go, let me stay,” Helena pleaded. Hunnigan didn’t understand what she was referring to, but she didn’t ask, it wasn’t important right now.

“You can stay as long as you want to, you’re not going anywhere, you can stay, I want you to stay, I promise... I promise, it’s okay, I want you to stay,” she whispered repeatedly through tears in a desperate attempt to reassure Helena, but the younger woman didn’t appear to be hearing her.

“I don’t want to go. I don’t...”

“Helena..? Helena!”

 

***


	10. Precious pain

Hunnigan stepped out of the shower, wrapped a towel around herself and exited the bathroom only to stop in her tracks at the sight of her clothes on the floor. They were stained with Helena’s blood, the copious amounts of it soaked into the fabric, and even if there had been a way to get rid of the mess, Hunnigan wouldn’t have been able to bring herself to ever wear that outfit again. She grabbed the clothes, went downstairs and threw them into the trash, tied the bag and then yanked it out from the container underneath the sink before marching to the front door and stepping out into the hallway, dressed only in her towel, but not caring about that right now, and finally crossed to the garbage chute and shoved the trash bag and the bloody clothes within down.

Afterward, she returned to the apartment and got dressed, finishing just a moment before there was a knock on the door. She went to answer it and Olivia walked in, yanking the lid of her laptop open as she walked.

“Okay, so, here’s what I got,” she told Hunnigan, put the computer onto the coffee table and sat down without as much as a greeting.  
“I thought we were gonna...” Hunnigan began, frowning but went to take a seat as well, turning her attention to the screen of Olivia’s laptop.

“We are, but I just wanted to do this so we know exactly what happened, plus the cops would surely appreciate knowing all this too, I’m doing everyone a favor,” Olivia said and brought up a video she’d put together, having edited separate sources of security camera footage together to show the events side by side, matched by the time stamps in the corner.

“Claire took that group selfie and tagged people in it, and a few minutes later, Ryan shows up,” Olivia began to explain, pointing at Ryan’s car as it pulled up on the footage from the security camera from the building opposite to the bar.

“All right, so that’s how she knew where we were, what about it?” Hunnigan muttered.

“Look at this,” Olivia said, now pointing at the footage from inside the bar from a few seconds before Ryan entered the establishment.

“Yeah, I know what happened, I was there,” Hunnigan sighed impatiently as she watched Helena stumble a little and grab a hold of Hunnigan to regain her balance. On the other side of the screen, a  moment after Helena holding onto Hunnigan, Ryan got out of her car and marched across the street.

“Goes to motive,” Olivia shrugged, spoken like an attorney whose line of questioning was being challenged. Hunnigan really didn’t want to see it, but forced herself to keep watching, trying to get herself to look at it like these people on the screen were strangers. Like it was just another pointless shooting. She winced when she saw Helena get shot. It all happened a lot faster on the screen than it had felt like when she’d been there.

“I’ve seen enough, just turn it off.”  
“What did you see?”

“My friend get shot by her ex-girlfriend who then promptly shot herself afterward, what else!” Hunnigan snapped, “Why are you even bringing this up?”  
“I told you, motive.”

“What difference does it make now? She’s dead.”  
“And you don’t even want to know why? You’re joking.”

“You could’ve told me without having me look at this,” Hunnigan scoffed and Olivia sighed deeply, closing the laptop’s lid.  
“I was hoping you’d see it yourself,” she muttered.

“See what!”  
“That Ryan wasn’t aiming at Helena, she was aiming at you. She was stalking Helena outside the bar, just sitting her car and waiting until she saw Helena grab a hold of you.”

“This is ridiculous,” Hunnigan groaned and ran a hand over her face.  
“So, she marched in and tried to shoot you because to her, you were the threat. Maybe she even thought Helena’d dumped her for you.”

“As I said, ridiculous,” Hunnigan shook her head again, but Olivia ignored her and continued voicing out her theory.  
“And Helena took the bullet for you.”

“Yeah, because of a stupid misunderstanding! My God, all Ryan had to do was ask about it, this was all so unnecessary!” Hunnigan shouted furiously.

“I know,” Olivia said quietly and pulled Hunnigan into a hug, tightening her hold on the other woman, realizing she needed the hug probably more than Hunnigan did.

* * *

“You shouldn’t be here,” Deborah sighed deeply, shaking her head a little with her hands on her hips. She stood in the middle of the living room, the living room of their childhood home. Their backyard should’ve been visible through the window, there should’ve been a swingset and dad’s old motorcycle that he said he’d fix but never got around to doing it... but when Helena glanced outside, there was nothing. Just a gray void, almost like a thick fog surrounding everything. Helena thought it was weird, but at the same time, it didn’t faze her, just like being back home didn’t faze her.

“Well, I guess it’s not your fault, but you can’t stay here,” Deborah continued then and sat onto the couch, reaching for the PlayStation’s controller and continued playing through the level of _Crash Bandicoot_ she’d been playing before Helena had shown up unannounced.

“But I want to stay,” Helena argued, “This is my home,” she continued as she crossed the living room and took a seat next to Deborah, only now pausing to wonder how she’d gotten here. She couldn’t remember.

“Not anymore. You know how they always say that there’s a light?” the younger sister asked and yanked the controller stubbornly to the side and out of Helena’s reach as she tried to claim it for her turn.

“There was no light,” Helena muttered.  
“Exactly, because you don’t belong here. You have things to do. Like have those ten kids you always said you wanted to have.”

“Well, that was just stupid and unlikely to happen anyway,” Helena scoffed, crossed her arms over her stomach and slumped against the back of the couch, pouting at Deborah refusing to let her stay and play.

“Be that as it may, letting you stay would be cutting corners, and whenever someone cuts corners, there’s no telling how severe the consequences could be or who ends up getting hurt because of it. You don’t belong here, you have things to do elsewhere,” Deborah reasoned.

“Stop saying that!” Helena snapped and stood up furiously, “I _do_ belong here, more so than you do! I should be here!”  
“If that were true, we wouldn’t be here, having this conversation right now,” Deborah chuckled softly.

“I _should_ be here. I let you down. I should’ve been able to take care of you, but I fucked up, and now you’re here because of that. It’s not right. It can’t be. You and I should switch places.”

“Helena,” Deborah sighed, put the controller away and turned to face her older sister. She gestured toward the empty spot next to her on the couch and Helena sat back down again and let Deborah take her hands into her own.

“You didn’t let me down, on the contrary, you always took care of me, and you never asked for anything in return. I should’ve done better by you. I should’ve taken care of you too,” Deborah said.  
“I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”

“Yes, you do. As much as you hate admitting it, you’re only human, Helena. You need someone to look after you and love you, to take care of you. No one ever has, not since mom and dad died. Not since I died, and even I wasn’t exactly great at looking after you.”

“Ryan was there.”  
“No, she wasn’t. You looked after her in the hopes of her returning the favor one day or at the very least showing some appreciation for you doing it for her, but we both know she didn’t care.”

“Don’t be mean...”  
“I’m not being mean, I’m being honest. It wouldn’t hurt you to admit it too, Ryan wasn’t exactly a sweetheart even on the best of days,” Deborah quirked an eyebrow and Helena sighed.

“I guess.”  
“Yet you stayed with her. Why?”

“Because I loved her.”  
“And?”

“...and it was nice to have someone to hold me and love me too, even if that someone wasn’t... I don’t know,” Helena muttered, her voice quieting toward the end of the sentence.

“You need to be loved more than anyone else I know.”  
“Doesn’t mean I deserve to be loved, though.”

“Were you always such an emo?” Deborah chuckled softly, “You don’t have to always put yourself in harm’s way and be the hero, you know? People would still love you even if you admitted that sometimes you need help too. You deserve to be loved and you deserve to be happy, just like everyone else does, with no strings attached.”

“I’m sick and tired of it all, I just want to stay here and... not have to worry about stupid things like that,” Helena complained.  
“I told you, you don’t belong here. I love you, sis, but get lost,” Deborah smiled sweetly.

* * *

Helena opened her eyes and blinked slowly, running her tongue over her teeth in an attempt to banish the dryness from her mouth. She stared at the unfamiliar ceiling, needing to take a long moment to remember what had happened and understand where she was.

Helena looked to the side, realizing she was alone in the room. It was dark, she couldn’t make out the clock on the wall opposite to the bed to be able to tell what time it was. She tried to sit up properly and sucked in a whimpering breath when the pain in her shoulder registered.

_Ryan,_ she remembered, swallowing hard and closing her eyes at the memory. She inhaled deeply and tried moving again. She needed to... she just needed to get out of here, she had things to do, Deborah had said so. She thought she was moving, but it was just a wave of dizzyness washing over her and she slumped deeper into the mattress.

“I need... could someone just..?” she muttered, her voice refusing to carry far enough to get anyone’s attention. When she looked down, she realized she did have some company after all.

“Hey,” she chuckled tiredly at the teddybear that had been tucked between her left arm and side. Namely, Hunnigan’s teddybear.

“Watch out for me, okay? I’m tired, I think I’ll take a nap... I’ll do things later,” she mumbled, her eyes already closing again, the pain in her shoulder still there, but slowly dissipating into the darkness that moved to embrace her, gently pulling her back into unconsciousness.

* * *

“I take it this is from you?” Helena asked, holding up a card that had the words “Get well soon, I miss you and your big boobs around the office” written on the inside. Helena had to admit, it had been nice waking up in the morning to find people had thought of her. Maybe Deborah had been right, she did have people who loved her even when she herself felt like she didn’t deserve it.

“Meant every word,” Olivia assured with a smile and Helena chuckled.  
“I’m gonna go get a coffee, do you want one?” Olivia then asked from Hunnigan and the other woman shook her head a little, just as oblivious to Olivia’s excuse of leaving her alone with Helena as the younger woman was.

“All right, I’ll be back in a bit,” she then said and exited the room, softly closing the door behind her.

“May I ask you something?” Hunnigan inquired.  
“Sure, anything,” Helena nodded.

“After you got shot... you kept telling me that you wanted to stay. What did you mean by that?”

“Oh, I... uhm,” Helena scoffed awkwardly, “I guess if one were the religious type, one might say I went to heaven for a while there. Either that or I was just hallucinating, which is probably more likely. I was back at home, with Deborah, and she told me that I can’t stay there.”

“Well, I’m glad she didn’t let you stay,” Hunnigan smiled ruefully.

“I am too... I mean, I did want to stay, but now... And it’s not like I have a death wish or anything, I just thought, you know, since I’m there, I might as well stay, right..? Okay, this is not going where I’d want it to go...” Helena trailed off in an awkward chuckle and Hunnigan merely nodded.

“How are you feeling, besides that?” she asked then.  
“I’m fine. I know they want me to stay here for a couple of weeks, but... I’d rather just get out of here,” Helena shook her head.

“Helena, you can’t just discharge yourself, you could get an infection or there could be other complications, and even though the got all the bullet fragments out, it’s still...”  
“Yeah, because the germ-infested building full of sick people is the best place to be if you want to avoid getting an infection,” the younger woman interrupted Hunnigan’s argument with a smirk.

“You know what I mean, I just want you to be safe and a hospital is the best place to be if, God forbid, there would be any sudden complications.”

“Hunnigan, I appreciate that, but I’ll feel better when I’ll get out of here. And don’t worry, I promise not to bleed all over your apartment and I promise I’m going to keep looking for a place of my own and move out as soon as possible,” she assured and Hunnigan scoffed.

“Please, that’s the last thing I’m worried about. In fact, I’d rather you stayed at least until you’ve recovered completely.”  
“I appreciate it, but I don’t want to burden you, I’m fine.”

“You’re not a burden to me, you’re my friend, and I’m gonna take care of you, okay?” Hunnigan insisted gently.

_Someone to take care of you and love you,_ Deborah’s voice whispered in the back of Helena’s mind and the younger woman slowly turned to look at Hunnigan, then becoming aware of the fact that she was staring at Hunnigan and that the other woman was frowning at her, like she was expecting a response.

“Sorry, I... zoned out,” Helena shook her head, “What did you say?”

“I just said that you’re welcome to stay as long as you need to and that I’ll look after you. And don’t argue with me over it, I’d win because I get the feeling your doctors would agree with me too,” Hunnigan smirked and Helena chuckled quietly.

“All right.”

***


	11. Fragile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...when imagining the character Lucy, you would not be wrong if you imagined Ellie from "The Last of Us".

* * *

 

 

Helena had reluctantly agreed to spend a week at the hospital before deciding that she couldn’t take it anymore.

 _Praise the Lord for small favors,_ she mused as she was signing her discharge form and noticed that at least is wasn’t her dominant hand that had been temporarily taken out of action.

When she got back to Hunnigan’s apartment, she quickly came to realize that staying at the hospital had had its perks. Namely, she’d had the option to reluctantly ask for someone’s assistance when some of the more mundane tasks of every day life had proven to be oddly difficult to handle with only one fully functioning arm. Right now that task was something as simple as being able to undo the shoulder sling and proceed to remove her shirt and the rest of her clothes and go take a shower.

She lay on her back on the bed, working to undo the straps, and she managed to get halfway through before bursting into angry and frustrated tears. This was so... annoying, so stupid; she was furious at herself for not being able to do this. Hell, doing something as simple as putting toothpaste on her toothbrush had suddenly become a challenge.

“Helena, are you all right?” Hunnigan called out from downstairs and Helena sighed deeply, sniffled a little and wiped her face.  
“Yeah, I’m just...”

“Do you need a hand?”  
“...yes,” Helena reluctantly admitted and Hunnigan went to her.

“I’m sorry,” Helena then apologized, shaking her head a little as Hunnigan undid the straps and helped the sling off. Helena gripped her wrist with her uninjured left hand to support the injured one before sitting up.

“Why are you apologizing?” Hunnigan frowned as she circled the bed to stand in front of Helena and reached to grip the hem of Helena’s T-shirt, slowly and carefully pulling it up and over Helena’s head before helping to slide it off all the way down the younger woman’s right arm.

“I didn’t want to be a burden, yet here we are,” Helena sighed, glancing at herself from the mirror that was next to the foot of the bed, in front of the rail the separated the stairs from the rest of the room, the reflection of herself sitting here topless and being assisted with something as easy as getting undressed adding insult to injury. She’d never felt so embarrassed and helpless.

“I mean, you gotta see how this is humiliating,” she then muttered.

“I would think that demanding to do everything yourself and compromising your recovery just because you’re stubborn would be extremely stupid... and having to admit afterward that you would’ve made a full recovery had you not been so stubborn would be more humiliating,” Hunnigan said.

“I guess. I can manage the rest myself,” Helena then said and Hunnigan nodded.

“Let me know if you need anything, I mean it. You might think it’s embarrassing, but there’s nothing to be embarrassed about, and you shouldn’t take stupid risks. You know what the agency policy is like regarding injuries, unless you recover fully, they’ll stick you behind a desk. Accepting a little help to ensure you’ll be able to return to duty should be more than worth it,” she then reasoned.

“I hadn’t thought of it like that,” Helena admitted.  
“Well, you should. So, just ask. I’m right here and I want to help.”

“...thank you.”

Helena let her right arm just hang by her side as she headed over to the bathroom and took a shower. The water stung the wound on her shoulder, but she didn’t mind, physical pain was something she could handle. She stood there, hanging her head and closing her eyes, letting time pass and trying to forget everything, interally reset herself.

“Helena, are you all right? You’ve been in there for half an hour,” Hunnigan’s voice called out, pulling Helena back to reality.  
“Yeah, I’m... sorry,” Helena responded and shut the water off, stepped out from the shower and grabbed a towel.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” she muttered then when she realized toweling off wouldn’t be a piece of cake either. She wiped off most of the water from her skin before throwing the towel across her shoulders, draping it over herself as best she could since wrapping it around her body was not an option.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you or take over the bathroom,” she then apologized as she exited the room, squeezing water from her hair into the towel.  
“It’s okay, I just wanted to make sure. Do you need anything?” Hunnigan then asked from downstairs.

“Yeah, a working shoulder,” Helena jested and looked at the stitched wound. It was still an angry shade of red, but at least it wasn’t leaking and was healing pretty well overall.  
“Smartass.”

Helena pulled her pants on and then grabbed the loose T-shirt Hunnigan had loaned her. Maybe getting dressed would be easier, she figured and decided she’d at least try getting it done. She let her arm hang loosely at her side and slid the shirt over it first before pulling it over her head.

“Hah! I did it, I just did it,” she proclaimed victoriously.  
“Congratulations,” Hunnigan chuckled.

“I will need help with the damn sling though. I don’t understand how anyone’s supposed to be able to operate this with one arm only,” Helena then frowned and Hunnigan smiled as she made her way upstairs.

“You’ll figure it out,” she assured as she helped fit Helena’s arm into the sling before securing the straps. It really wasn’t as complicated as Helena seemed to think it was, but Hunnigan didn’t mention it, the younger woman was too frustrated to even want to figure it out right now, she’d get there eventually.

* * *

“Ingrid J. Hunnigan, that had better not be coffee you’re drinking!”

Helena inhaled sharply when the voice pierced through her light sleep and dragged her into reality. She blinked repeatedly for a moment, needing a good while to remember where she was and why. Then the steady ache in her shoulder reminded her of what had happened.

“No, it’s Red Bull and vodka, but I drink it from a coffee mug because I am a lady.”  
“I swear to God, I will put you over my knee.”

“I’m like three feet taller than you, you wouldn’t be able to fit me over your knee even if I _let_ you try,” Hunnigan exaggerated with a gentle laugh.  
“I don’t care how tall you are, I will always have the option to put you over my knee. It’s every mother’s superpower.”

 _Her mom’s here?_ Helena frowned and got up slowly. She circled the bed and went to the railing at the end of the upper level and glanced downstairs. She couldn’t see them, they were in the kitchen which wasn’t visible from up here, but Hunnigan’s couch was occupied by a man with graying dark brown hair and a young girl whose deep auburn hair was tied to a ponytail. He was petting a fluffy black dog that sat beside him and the girl was ignoring everything and everyone around her, headphones on and staring at her laptop.

 _Must be the dad and the sister,_ Helena deduced, _but why are they here and why didn’t Hunnigan tell me they were coming? Or wake me up, for that matter..._

Helena pulled back from the railing and headed toward the bathroom, trying to decide should she just hide out until they were gone or go and introduce herself. The decision was made for her by the dog that noticed her moving upstairs and proceeded to alert the people downstairs of the situation by turning to look in her direction and barking.

“Uhm, hello,” Helena greeted awkwardly as she made her way down the steps.  
“Oh, you’re up. Are you hungry? There’s breakfast, it’s probably still warm,” Hunnigan offered and only then realized she should make the introductions.

“This is my mom, Alix,” she began and Helena nodded a silent greeting. Alix was a bit shorter than average, but appeared to be built rather solidly despite being lean. She had shoulder-length blonde hair and brown eyes, her jaw somewhat square and her chin sharp.

Helena bit back a chuckle at the contrast between the mother and daughter. Hunnigan was tall even when not on heels, her complexion naturally bronzed, and she was dressed in a black suit and a white collared shirt, the top buttons open and the collar casually popped; Alix was tiny, somewhat pale and dressed in dark denim jeans and a black and white striped shirt with the sleeves rolled up. The thing they had in common was the fact that both exhuded a certain confidence powerful, competent and capable people did.

“And that’s my dad, Lance,” Hunnigan continued, “...and finally, the runt, Lucy. Oh, and dog’s name is Shepard.”

Lance raised his hand in a greeting and Lucy glanced up, not really acknowledging being mentioned. Helena noticed she had a rather large scar that ran across her eyebrow and wondered what had happened, but knew better than to ask. Hardly a suitable ice breaker.

“I’m Helena, currently kind of homeless and, well, injured,” she began, nodding toward her arm that was in the sling, “Hunnigan took me in because she’s a saint, so I guess I’m her temporary roommate,” she then chuckled.

“Roommate or ‘roommate’?” Lucy finally spoke with a smirk, making air quotes with her fingers. The headphones were still on, but apparently, she wasn’t listening anything from them, simply using them to disguise herself as uninterested.

“I don’t know what that means,” Helena muttered slowly.

“It’s not the fifties anymore, you can just say you’re lesbianing together,” Lance chuckled and Lucy rolled her eyes at him.  
“Dad, just because a character from _Orange is the new black_ thinks ‘lesbianing’ is a real word, it doesn’t mean it is, and you should totally not use it ever even if it were,” she shook her head.

“All the cool kids are using it,” Lance pouted.

“All the cool kids are also using meth, that doesn’t mean you should do it,” Lucy grinned and poked her tongue out at him and he burst out laughing at the role-reversal, put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a tight half-hug, holding on tighter for a moment before finally letting go when Lucy squirmed to escape.

“Well, either way, we’re not ‘lesbianing’ together, I’m just staying until I find a place of my own,” Helena chuckled awkwardly.  
“And we should be going or we’ll miss the flight,” Alix finally commented and proceeded to snatch Hunnigan’s coffee mug from her just as she was about to take a sip.

“Mom, for Christ’s sakes,” she sighed when the older woman poured the coffee down the sink.  
“It’s bad for your heart.”

“A little arrhythmia never killed anyone.”  
“Tell that to your uncle Bill,” Alix scoffed and Hunnigan frowned, then quirked an eyebrow and defiantly crossed her arms over her abdomen.

“Bill died of cardiac arrest because he snorted a ton of cocaine, not because he drank too much coffee.”  
“That’s how it starts.”

“Are you seriously telling me that you consider caffeine a gateway drug?” Hunnigan asked, trying to keep a straight face. Alix made an effort too before laughing softly.  
“No, but you know what I mean, just behave yourself,” she then said.

“When don’t I?”

Within a few minutes, the parents had excused themselves and exited, Hunnigan following them into the foyer to say goodbye, leaving Helena alone with the dog and the blasé teenager.

“So, uhm... what breed is Shepard?” Helena asked slowly to break the silence that was beginning to grow awkward.  
“Black Norwegian elkhound,” Lucy responded, “What happened to your arm?” she asked in return.

“Had a hard day, got shot.”  
“Poor you, I’ve had a hard life,” Lucy commented, her voice flat and unsympathetic on a level Helena hadn’t even known existed.

“Are you always like this?” Helena questioned, her eyebrow quirking.  
“No, sometimes I’m in a bad mood,” Lucy answered in her flat tone.

“You’re a little bit scary, aren’t you?”  
“Luce, we’re leaving!” Alix called out and the teen got up and gathered her laptop and the charger before heading out without as much as a goodbye.

“...they forgot their dog,” Helena commented slowly when Hunnigan returned to the living room.  
“Shepard will be staying here while my parents and Lucy take their annual trip to Ireland,” Hunnigan smiled and went to pet the dog.

“You didn’t want to go with them? I mean, you could’ve scheduled your vacation so that you could’ve gone.”

In truth, Hunnigan _could_ have gone, she still had the second week of her vacation left, and her original plan had been to go... but then Helena had gotten shot and her priorities had changed.

“I’m banned from Ireland after the last time I went there and asked if I could have corn instead of potatoes,” Hunnigan jested and Helena narrowed her eyes at the other woman when the truth dawned on her.  
“You were planning to go, but you stayed because of me.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Hunnigan grinned, but Helena ignored her humor.

“You really shouldn’t have done that,” she sighed, shaking her head a little, “Look, I admit that I do need help with some things, but I could’ve asked someone else. I really don’t want to be this inconvenience I’m turning out to be,” Helena argued, despite knowing that she literally had no idea who else she could’ve asked if Hunnigan weren’t around, but she wouldn’t tell the other woman that.

“You’re not an inconvenience, I wouldn’t have offered you a place to stay let alone to help you if I thought so. Honestly, I like having you around and I like helping, so stop worrying about it, okay?”  
“I was raised Catholic, I can’t just stop feeling guilty,” Helena then joked and Hunnigan chuckled softly.

“Well, go to church to be scolded by a priest like normal guilty Catholics do and stop having these nonsense arguments with me; I was raised non-religious, so I can’t help you,” she smirked.

* * *

Helena wasn’t sure, but she felt like the priest was sizing her up, circling her like a buzzard waiting for a meal.

 _Maybe they can smell guilt. Okay, I’m not being very nice,_ Helena mused and shifted her weight a little. It was nice to see some things in the world didn’t change; the seats at the church were just as uncomfortable as she remembered them being.

“You look a little lost,” the priest finally approached her.  
“Just a little?” Helena chuckled ruefully.

“Does your being here have anything to do with that injured shoulder of yours?” he then inquired, leaning his forearms to his knees and slowly interlacing his fingers as he turned his head to be able to look at Helena.

“It’s a part of it. Got shot and I’m also homeless at the moment... A friend took me in and has been helping me manage with the busted shoulder, but I feel incredibly guilty for having to ask her for help,” Helena summarized, “She says she doesn’t mind, but that doesn’t erase the feeling, you know? I feel like I’m a useless burden.”

“Sounds to me like you’ve been blessed with a very good friend.”  
“You’re not wrong, but you’re also not making me feel any better,” Helena commented and the priest chuckled softly.

“What I’m saying is that for now, you should try and learn to accept that there is nothing more you can do right at this moment, and once you’ve healed, you can focus on returning the favor by being a good friend to her when she’ll need it,” he then offered.  

“That... makes sense,” Helena reluctantly admitted and he nodded. They were quiet for a long while, the priest still patiently expecting Helena to continue speaking, as if he had a sixth sense telling him she still had something troubling her. Maybe it was a sense a person developed after spending as much time listening to others for a living as the man undoubtedly had.

“I’m sure a lot of people ask you this, but when do you think God will stop punishing me?”  
“I don’t actually get asked that as often as you’d think,” he smiled, “As for the answer to your question, well... I suppose it depends on how big your sins are.”

“So, probably six years after my death at the earliest,” Helena smirked.  
“You’re here now, as am I, if you want to get something off your chest.”

 _A couple of pounds of fat, that’s what I’d want to get off my chest so that I could go running without having to wear three sports bras,_ Helena mused, but knew better than to say it out loud.

“I appreciate it, but it’s not something I can talk about... I’m sure God knows every gruesome thing in disturbing detail and sorts me out accordingly.”

“And if in your heart you truly regret the things you have done and are sorry for the sins you’ve committed, He knows that too, and He forgives you,” the priest reassured with a soft voice and Helena nodded slowly, closed her eyes and swallowed hard against the lump that was forming in her throat. The priest held his hand over her forearm for a moment before standing up and attending to his other duties, once again almost as if having sensed what Helena wanted, and that right now she wanted to be left alone.

_Lord, have mercy on me, do not look upon my sins but take away my guilt._

* * *

Hunnigan sighed deeply and rolled her eyes when Helena stubbornly kept insisting that she can help make breakfast. When she’d suggested the younger woman goes to confession, she hadn’t expected Helena to come back worse, as in more determined than ever to help with things that Hunnigan really didn’t need help with. Helena didn’t seem to realize that in her haste to be a good friend in return for everything Hunnigan was doing for her.

“Helena, I swear to God, I will slap you across the face with the spatula unless you get away from me and let me cook in peace,” she warned, holding up her weapon of choice and shaking it a little at Helena.  
“All right-y then,” the younger woman said, backing away slowly. She took a seat at the island in the kitchen and a few moments later, nodded a silent thank you to Hunnigan when she slid a stack of pancakes over to her.

“So, the other day your mom did the thing where they say your full name before berating you and I was wondering, what does the J stand for?” Helena then asked as she struggled to cut a piece of her pancake with the side of the fork. Hunnigan offered to help, but that was where Helena drew the line; she had never allowed even her mother to cut up her food for her, she certainly wouldn’t let Hunnigan do it, not even if she’d have to resort to shoving the pancake into her mouth whole.

“James,” Hunnigan answered, her hesitation before responding implying she was somewhat reluctant to share this information.  
“James? Seriously?” Helena exclaimed with a chuckle and Hunnigan sighed deeply and grinned then.

“Ingrid by day,” she began, pausing dramatically for a second before yanking her glasses off of her face and undoing the hairtie, letting her hair cascade over her shoulders, “James or Jimmy by night,” she finished, wiggling an eyebrow.

“I know you’d want me to believe you’re joking, but I’m sure you’re being sincere,” Helena laughed gently.

“I made the comment in jest, James really only really comes out when it’s full moon,” Hunnigan shrugged innocently, put the glasses back on and went to the foyer when there was a knock on the door. It was a gray mid-September morning and despite it going against Hunnigan’s principles, she’d chosen to accept Olivia’s offer to give her a ride to work today.

“Come on in, there’s breakfast if you’re hungry,” Hunnigan offered.

“Well, don’t mind if I do,” Olivia responded with a smile. If she was honest, she’d been itching for an invitation to come in, she wanted to see Helena and Hunnigan together in a casual setting like this. Helena greeted Olivia, proceeded to finish her breakfast and cleared the dishes then before peeking into one of the cabinets in the kitchen.

“Where are my pills?” she asked.  
“In the medicine cabinet, in the bathroom, where they belong,” Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow.

“That’s just silly, pills should be taken with food, hence they should be in the kitchen.”  
“My pills are supposed to be taken first thing in the morning, and what’s the first thing people generally do in the morning? They go to the bathroom, ergo the pills should be in the medicine cabinet... in the _bathroom_ ,” Hunnigan argued and Helena narrowed her eyes.

“After bathroom, you come into the kitchen, where the food is, the pills should in the kitchen.”

“Are you two always like this?” Olivia interjected as she smothered her pancake with syrup.  
“Like what?” Helena and Hunnigan asked in unison and Olivia chuckled at the two of them. The fact that they didn’t even realize how they were behaving was adorable. Frustrating, but adorable.

“You’re bickering like an old couple,” Olivia pointed out happily as she rolled up her pancake like a burrito and Helena made a mental note to do that the next time rather than bother with the fork.

“Let me know when you escalate to the level of bickering over the temperature in the room, because I want to be there to see it.

 

***


	12. Push it

Hunnigan wouldn’t have agreed to drive if Helena hadn’t insisted that she’ll be fine driving on her own, even if getting the car into gear would prove to be a challenge. The last thing Hunnigan wanted and needed was to worry about Helena’s driving, so she’d sucked it up and said she’d do it.

“I’d say you drive like an old lady, but three of them just passed us,” Helena teased, but Hunnigan wasn’t laughing.

“I told you,” she said tensely and Helena frowned, but didn’t comment, obviously this was a sore spot and she decided to let it go. Frankly, the traffic was unusually slow and it had nothing to do with Hunnigan’s driving. A few moments later Helena realized what the problem was; there’d been an accident.

“Whoa, I don’t think anyone walked away from that,” Helena mumbled as she stared out of the window at the mangled car. It was crumpled like a paper mug and literally in two pieces.  
“I wonder how the hell they managed that,” she commented, but Hunnigan wasn’t paying attention, she was barely hearing Helena.

_...she’s going into cardiac arrest..._

“...and I wonder what they hit, there’s practically nothing else here.”

_...we’re losing her, we’re going to need to..._

“Hunnigan?”

Her ears were ringing and Helena’s words were muffled, almost inaudible and unintelligible. Cold sweat rose to her skin and her muscles felt weak, like she’d overexerted them somehow. Then the dizzyness swept over her and she realized she’d forgotten how to breathe.

“What’s wrong?” Helena frowned and reached to grip Hunnigan’s shoulder to snap her back into reality. Hunnigan pulled over to the side of the road and got out of the car, walked to the back of it and leaned against it, tilting her head far back and took a few deep breaths.

“You wanna tell me what happened?” Helena inquired after getting out as well and copying Hunnigan’s pose, leaning into the car.  
“I’m okay.”

“If you say so, but I know what anxiety attack looks like... and feels like. Just saying, if you want to tell me what it’s about...”  
“Let’s not go there unless you want to walk the rest of the way.”

“Hey, you put the car in gear and I’ll drive,” Helena smirked and Hunnigan let out an amused scoff.  
“Probably better that way, huh?”

“You don’t have to go into the details, you can tell me later if you feel like it. Take your time, I’m not in a hurry.”  
“I think... if you really meant that you can drive yourself, I’ll... walk the rest of the way.”

“I told you, I can. But are you sure you want to walk, I mean...”  
“Yes, definitely,” Hunnigan nodded eagerly, her eyes closed, swallowing hard against the uncomfortable feeling in her throat.

“I’d feel pretty shitty just leaving you by the side of the road, though.”  
“This isn’t about you!” Hunnigan snapped and Helena’s eyebrows rose in surprise at the other woman’s reaction. Hunnigan sighed and held up her hand to pre-emptively silence Helena’s comments.

“I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. Just... drop the subject, I’ll be fine and you can go.”  
“Fine, but if you’re not at the office in twenty minutes, I’ll come looking for you,” Helena said.

* * *

Olivia stood on her knees, less than elegantly straddling the space divider between her and Hunnigan’s desks. She knew exactly how bad and weird it looked, but she was on a mission. She’d made a vow that Hunnigan would no longer be able to sneak up on her and startle her when she came into the office. Grunting a little, Olivia reached over to give her installation the finishing touches and once the mirror facing the doorway was straight, she sighed happily. It was proving to be useful immediately, she noticed, when she saw Helena pause in the doorway and smirk.

“Well, this is an interesting sight, I won’t tell Hunnigan you molested her desk if you agree that I no longer owe you that two hundred dollar hot dog,” Helena commented as Olivia climbed down.  
“Not a chance because if you tell her, she won’t even be surprised,” she said confidently and Helena laughed softly.

“True. So, now you can get up to your shenanigans without having to worry about someone sneaking up on you.”  
“Something like that. Why are you here, you’re supposed to be on sick leave?”

“I came into town to go apartment-hunting and to get my hair washed at the hair dresser’s. Have you ever tried washing your hair with only one hand? It’s surprisingly difficult,” Helena responded.  
“This isn’t the hair dresser’s,” Olivia pointed out, her eyebrow quirking.

“Well, no, I’m waiting for Hunnigan. She said she’d drive me, but something happened and she... I don’t know, we passed a car crash and she got really anxious and said she’d walk, so...”  
“So, you wanted to make sure she gets here, I understand that.”

“Yeah, she was pretty bent out of shape.”  
“PTSD?”

“No, not quite, but definitely bad memories," Helena muttered, shrugging her left shoulder.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t go around telling everyone and their mother about my anxiety attacks,” Hunnigan commented somewhat venomously, making both Olivia and Helena jump a little. Olivia’s mirror only worked if one paid attention to the mirror.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to...”  
“Forget it. Now, was there something you needed or can I get to work?” Hunnigan then dismissed and Helena sighed. This day was not going well at all.

“I’ll be on my way. See you later, okay?” she said and exited the office.  
“What?” Hunnigan asked from Olivia as she slumped into her chair, fully aware of the look of disapproval she was receiving from the younger woman.

“You didn’t have to snap at her like that, you know?”  
“I’ll snap at you if you won’t drop it,” Hunnigan rolled her eyes and opened her laptop.

“I see you helped yourself to a handful of bitchy-pills in the morning,” Olivia mumbled, also turning her attention to her work, deciding it was better to let it go.

* * *

When Hunnigan got back home, she discovered Shepard hiding in the foyer and it took her a moment to realize what was wrong with the picture. The dog was hiding because the vaccuum cleaner was running and Hunnigan frowned.

“Helena, what _are_ you doing!” she yelled over the sound of it when she discovered Helena cleaning up the living room. The younger woman turned the machine off and shrugged one shoulder.  
“My taxes,” she chuckled, “what does it look like I’m doing?”

“I mean, what the hell are you doing cleaning, you should be resting, that shoulder of yours isn’t...”

“Isn’t a problem,” Helena interjected, “I’m not an invalid, I don’t need both hands for this. Besides, I wanted to do something useful for a change, especially since I’m the one cluttering up the place. Well, me and Shepard... but I think she sheds more than I do.”

“You’re over-compensating! If you want to do something for me, stop making me worry about you by pulling off these unnecessary stunts.”  
“I’m vaccuuming, it’s hardly a stunt,” Helena laughed.

“Just, put it away and sit down before you break yourself further,” Hunnigan sighed deeply, pushed her glasses onto her forehead and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Well, it was either this or make a salad, and the last time I did the latter, it didn’t turn out so well,” Helena jested with a smirk and Hunnigan had to chuckle at that despite making an effort to remain mad at the younger woman.

“Look, I’m sorry I made you worry and I’m sorry about being nosey earlier, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or disrespect any boundaries.”  
“No, it’s okay, I’m the one who should be apologizing, I shouldn’t have snapped at you before, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Hunnigan shook her head.

“You wanna tell me what happened?” Helena then asked quietly before beginning to put the vaccuum cleaner away. Hunnigan exhaled deeply and sucked on her teeth, shrugging a little.  
“I guess I owe you an explanation,” she muttered, “Sit down,” she then ordered and Helena did as she was told.

“Well, ‘owe’ is a bit much, but I wouldn’t mind...” Helena trailed off, swallowing the rest when Hunnigan shrugged off her jacket and began to undo the buttons of her shirt. Helena was about to look away when Hunnigan turned around and slipped the shirt off of her shoulders and let it slide down to her waist. A long scar ran across from below her right shoulder blade down to her hip, the ragged edges of the line implying it was not the result of surgery and professionally closed up, it was more likely from an accident.

“Remember that big brother I mentioned to you way back when?” Hunnigan asked over her shoulder.

“He did that?” Helena exclaimed.  
“Hah, no,” Hunnigan shook her head turning to face Helena.

“We were really good friends and we stayed in touch even after he was old enough to move out and live on his own. He was kind of troubled, liked mixing pain killers with vodka, but he was an okay-guy aside from that,” Hunnigan shared and shrugged her shirt back on, not bothering to button it up since she’d change out of it in a moment anyway.

“He was a few years older than I and he moved to Colorado after he got some work there, and I made a habit of visiting him pretty often. When I got my license, I kind of fell into the role of being his designated driver,” she went on and proceeded to take a seat on the couch.

“I was seventeen, lived a pretty sheltered life all things considered, so when my fun-loving big brother got the brilliant idea of getting wasted and  driving up the mountains, of course I went along, because, hey, why not?”  
“Don’t tell me you were drunk.”

“Of course I wasn’t,” Hunnigan scoffed, “but I also wasn’t what you’d call an experienced driver, I wasn’t paying attention to the right things... plus, my passenger was high and a bit drunk and he thought it would be funny to keep repeatedly poking me in the ribs to tickle me as I’m driving down a damn mountain and the road was practically a sidewalk,” Hunnigan muttered and Helena nodded, silently waiting for her to continue.

“So, we were almost back, I’m dealing with Liam... that was his name... poking at me and I’m paying more attention to him than I am to looking at where I’m going, and... I hit a deer, lost control, swerved right off the road,” Hunnigan continued.

“Oh, God,” Helena whispered and waited patiently as Hunnigan took a moment to stare into the distance before closing her eyes and inhaling deeply. For a while, she was back in that moment, lying in the middle of rocks and dirt, she sickening sounds of metal twisting and glass breaking ringing in her ears.

“Liam went all the way down with the car, he got crushed in the wreck. I got lucky, I flew out through the window after a couple of tumbles, I assume that’s how I got the scar, must’ve dragged against something during that, I don’t know... doesn’t matter.”

Once the wreck had reached the bottom, everything had been silent for a while. Silent, cold, still. Then she’d been dragged back, yanked awake and introduced to a level of pain she hadn’t realized even existed or was possible to live through.

“I was clinically dead for a while there, but someone saw the crash and had called for help, so... they got to me before I was past the point of no return, I suppose. And for the record, there was no light,” Hunnigan said offering a lopsided smirk.

“That’s what I said when I died for a while, but Deborah told me you don’t get the light until you _are_ past the point of no return,” Helena countered and Hunnigan chuckled ruefully.

“At least you got that, I got nothing waiting for me.”  
“I was out of it longer than half a minute, my delusions had time to evolve into more,” Helena tried joking gently and Hunnigan laughed a little.

“Could be.”  
“So, me pointing out that crash to you today triggered a flashback,” Helena mumbled and Hunnigan nodded slowly.

“Something like that.”  
“I’m sorry I put you through that.”

“You didn’t know.”

“Yeah, but I’m noticing that just by being here, I’m constantly pushing you out of your comfort zone, and it doesn’t matter that it’s not intentional, it’s just... I’m sorry, Hunnigan,” Helena whispered and rested her hand on Hunnigan’s forearm, offering a gentle but a firm and reassuring squeeze, and Hunnigan put her hand over Helena’s, returning the squeeze.

“Don’t be sorry,” she said, shaking her head a little before turning to look at Helena, “Frankly, I think being pushed outside my comfort zone is probably a good thing, I’ve been comfortable for most of my life, can’t experience new things if I never do anything new... and going through the same old crap every day is more waiting to die than actually living, don’t you think?”

“...does that mean there’s a chance I could convince you to share your toothbrush with me?” Helena then jested, hoping to lighten the mood. Thankfully, it worked.

“Why don’t you just spit in my mouth?” Hunnigan scoffed.  
“Wow, all these things considered, you must really hate kissing,” Helena teased.

“Are you seriously comparing your crimes against basic hygiene to kissing?” Hunnigan laughed.  
“What can I say, I’m a romantic.”

“You’re being gross, not romantic.”  
“That, too,” Helena agreed and laughed.

***


	13. Don't stand so close to me

* * *

_The "art" featured in this chapter was made by me using XPS and Photoshop and a screenshot from Imagine me &you_

* * *

 

Helena had been staying over at Hunnigan’s for almost a month now, and despite Hunnigan’s initial promise to promptly empty a drawer for Helena’s stuff, she hadn’t done it. Frankly, she’d forgotten all about it until today when she noticed that Helena went to retrieve a clean shirt from her backpack.

“Oh, God, why didn’t you say anything!” Hunnigan exclaimed when the realization hit her.

“About what?” Helena frowned as she dressed, the simple every day task of putting on a shirt finally being less of a chore now that she was able to use her right arm almost normally again. Her shoulder still ached now and then, and she wasn’t able to just go ahead and swing her arm in a big circle like she’d used to, but at least she could do most things like she had done before the injury.

“The drawer for your stuff!” Hunnigan elaborated and headed upstairs.

“Well, I wasn’t meant to stay for this long, now was I?” Helena mumbled, feeling a pang of guilt mixed with a bit of shame in her gut when she thought about it. Hell, she didn’t feel she’d even contributed to the bills for utilities, and doing some household chores were hardly enough to compensate. She had been looking for a place, still was, but being forced to take so many weeks off from work had not done any favors to her bank account balance, and scrounging up the first month’s rent and the deposit money was turning out to be quite a challenge. Add to that the fact that she was stuck paying off Deborah’s student loan, she was perpetually kind of broke.

“Be that as it may, you’re here, and you should have a proper place for your stuff,” Hunnigan said, opened the top drawer and leaned down, scooping all of the things inside into her arms and tossing them onto the bed.

“It’s really not necessary, I’m used to having my whole life in a backpack,” Helena commented and took a seat on the edge of the bed. A bed which she’d also practically taken over during her recovery when Hunnigan had slept on the couch to offer Helena a stable place to sleep at while her shoulder had required her to remain on her back and as still as possible. Somehow, they’d forgotten to switch back after the doctor had declared that Helena no longer needed to keep her arm immobilized. She felt another pang of guilt and shame when she realized that.

“I’ve already overstayed too much, I shouldn’t...” Helena began to say but left the rest unsaid when her gaze fell upon a curious object among the clothing Hunnigan had tossed haphazardly onto the bed.  
“And I’ve already told you, repeatedly, that you’re welcome here,” Hunnigan argued, still focused gathering the rest of her belongings from the drawer.

“I gotta say, Hunnigan...” Helena began and her light and amused tone of voice told the other woman that she’d found something funny.  
“Oh, God,” the older woman groaned when she realized what it was.

“...I didn’t think flesh-color would be your style, I had you pegged for someone who’d go for the purple version,” Helena finished her sentence, dangling a plastic package between her thumb and index finger, a strapless dildo suspended in the see-through material.

“Hah, pegged, no pun intended,” Helena then chuckled upon realizing what her choice of word had been.

“Olivia was my secret Santa last year. Need I say more?” Hunnigan rolled her eyes and Helena burst out laughing.  
“Well... normally I’d say that yes, you do, but since it’s Olivia... She’s delightfully shameless. And she obviously cares, this is a high-quality toy and costs well over a hundred bucks.”

“Well, now I feel terrible about giving her a cactus for her birthday. It did kind of resemble a penis, though, so I think that essentially...”  
“Hunnigan, you didn’t,” Helena exclaimed.

“Of course I didn’t, give me some credit,” Hunnigan laughed, “And I had no idea you were such an expert on sex toys,” she then smirked.  
“You know it, as far as I’m concerned, a realdoe is an essential. I mean, sure, it takes some getting used to, but once you get the hang of how-” Helena began her proclamation, but Hunnigan interrupted.

“Please, feel free to keep it.”  
“Why, thank you!”

“On one condition; you’re not allowed to use it in my apartment.”  
“What, not even on myself? That’s a bit unreasonable,” Helena pouted jokingly, “I can actually use it to kind of jerk off, it’s great fore-”

“La-la-la-la-la!” Hunnigan covered her ears and Helena laughed heartily.

“Okay, you can use it to ‘jerk off’, but only when there’s absolutely no chance of me walking in on you doing that,” Hunnigan then offered a compromise.  
“Obviously, I was joking. About actually doing it, not about being capable of doing it. It’s an interesting-”

“What is it about me that makes people think it’s perfectly okay to discuss their private lives with me? I mean, contrary to what Olivia thinks, I’m not a thirty-something virgin who has to live through others,” Hunnigan rolled her eyes.

“It’s more about teasing you because you come across as a prude...”  
“I’m not a prude!” Hunnigan argued, her voice rising to a falsetto reserved only for those truly insulted and outraged.

“...so Liv and I joke about sex because we think it’s funny to make your eye twitch.”  
“Oh, screw you both, you don’t know me,” Hunnigan scoffed.

“Well, I _do_ know that these condoms expired two years ago, that says something,” Helena kept teasing her after having dug up another item of interest from Hunnigan’s belongings, and Hunnigan sighed in exasperation, hanging her head and muttered something about giving up.

“So, are you going to the agency Halloween party tomorrow night?” she asked, ignoring the immature commentary and changing the subject.  
“I don’t think Olivia would forgive me if I didn’t show up,” Helena chuckled, “What about you?”

“I wasn’t going to, but now I’m thinking I should, just to see the surprised looks on everyone’s faces,” Hunnigan smirked and gestured toward the now empty drawer and Helena grabbed her backpack and began emptying it.  
“Awesome! Unless you plan on going as Wonder Woman, because then I’d have to rethink my costume,” Helena said.

* * *

The lounge at the office was bustling with agents, almost all of them having chosen to wear superhero-costumes of some sort, but one of the agents present stood out from the crowd.

“Did we come to the wrong party?” Helena’s eyebrows rose in surprise when she and Hunnigan were greeted by Olivia, who was dressed up as Santa Claus, wearing a full fake-beard and everything.

“What the hell are you supposed to be?” Olivia asked from Hunnigan instead of answering Helena’s question. The older woman tugged on the loose waistband of her sweatpants and smirked, the small change in her expression causing the cigarette she’d borrowed from Helena to fall from behind her ear.

“Drunkerella,” Hunnigan commented, picked up the cigarette and stuck it back behind her ear, “I could ask you the same thing, why are you dressed as Santa?” she then frowned.  
“The Santa from _Santa’s slay_ , scary, see?” Olivia justified her outfit and held up a sharp icicle she’d wrapped in tinfoil and then pointed out the few red dots of fake blood on the beard.

“I was considering turning up as a zombie, but then I figured I don’t really want to be remembered as the asshole who triggered half of the field agents. Plus, I didn’t want to get shot,” she then added.  
“Your murder weapon is dripping,” Helena smirked, nodding toward the icicle in Olivia’s hand.

“Luckily, I have another option,” she wiggled her eyebrow and pulled out a mistletoe from her cleavage before dangling it over Helena’s head.  
“How is that a murder weapon?” the younger woman frowned.

“Mistletoe is poisonous, don’t they teach you anything in school these days?” Olivia rolled her eyes and Helena laughed.  
“All I know is you’re supposed to kiss people underneath it at Christmas parties,” she shrugged.

“Oh, yeah, I encourage that too,” Olivia nodded and shook the mistletoe a little to emphasize her point. Helena shrugged, put her hands onto Olivia’s cheeks and leaned in.  
“Not me, you idi..!” Olivia began to protest, but her words quickly dissolved into a soft mutter and a hum of pleasure when Helena deepened the kiss.

“You had that coming,” Hunnigan chuckled softly and left the two of them on their own, heading over to the kitchenette where the drinks were.

“Okay, you’re the scariest thing here,” Leon teased as he paused at the makeshift bar next to Hunnigan. He was dressed up as a pirate, the costume completed with an eyepatch, a plastic sword on his hip and fake bird on his shoulder.

“Today, I will take that as a compliment,” Hunnigan smiled and helped herself to a cup of punch from the bowl that had a block of ice that was dyed red and shaped like a severed hand floating in the beverage.  
“Claire let you out alone or did you run away?” she then inquired jokingly.

“Hah, she’s here, she’s helping Sherry sort out her cape. I told her, no capes, but apparently a cape is a necessity for Supergirl,” Leon shook his head and refilled his cup as well.  
“I’m with you on this, I never could understand what’s with all the capes, they seem inconvenient at best,” Hunnigan nodded.

“So, what’s your, uhm... costume?” Leon then had to ask.  
“I’m kind of a superhero too, I’m Drunkerella,” she answered, exaggerating a slur and swaying back and forth a little.

“Really? And what’s your superpower?” Leon chuckled.  
“Time traveling. All I need is a gallon of tequila and I can travel from this moment to two days later with no memory of time passing at all. Side effects include vomiting and headaches, though,” Hunnigan explained.

“Why is this not a real comic book?” Leon wondered.  
“I know, right?” the tall woman chuckled into her mug before taking a long drink from it.

“So... not to bring the party down or anything, but how have you and Helena been, you know, since everything? I know she’s the type to put on a brave face... and I get the feeling that you are too,” Leon then said softly and offered a small smile.

“I think that’s something you should ask her,” Hunnigan shrugged a little, not wanting to make assumptions regarding Helena’s mental health. She knew he meant well, but it wasn’t something he should’ve asked from her.  
“We’re fine, you don’t have to worry,” Hunnigan then assured. She wasn’t lying, but she didn’t feel comfortable honestly telling him about everything either.

Helena had bad dreams, that was to be expected. Sometimes she cried in her sleep; something Hunnigan had noticed but hadn’t brought up the morning after, she knew Helena well enough to know the younger woman would just be embarrassed. Or, the odds were, she didn’t even know it was happening.

As for herself, Hunnigan meant it when she said she was okay... but that was the troubling part for her. She didn’t think she should be quite as okay with everything as she was. She worried it would all crash on her at once some unfortunate day, or that it never would, which would imply there was something seriously wrong with her ability to react emotionally. She wasn’t sure which was the worse option.

“Maybe I don’t, but I still do. You’re my friends and I know how bad it can get if these things aren’t properly dealt with,” Leon mumbled into mug before drinking from it. Hunnigan knew what he meant, she’d read his file and she knew the depth of the depression he struggled with.

“Everything’s okay. I promise,” Hunnigan told him softly and he nodded, once more refilling his mug.  
“Good.”

“What about you, Leon? Are you okay?”  
“I’m better than okay,” he smiled sweetly before heading over to mingle with the other agents, not explaining himself further, but the tone of his voice implied he was being genuine.

“Now, what’s wrong with _you?_ ” Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow at Olivia when the younger woman walked over and leaned into the table, taking a few deep breaths before pouring herself a drink and downing it immediately after.

“You _have to_ kiss her. Oh, my God, you have to, it was... Have you ever been kissed in a way that just left you standing there, stunned because of how amazing it felt?”  
“Can’t say that I have.”

“...that makes me feel sad for you,” Olivia muttered and Hunnigan rolled her eyes.  
“And _that_ makes me think you’re a mean drunk,” Hunnigan smirked.

“This has nothing to do with being drunk, I’m mean when I’m sexually frustrated. As are all women, actually, but they don't know it because people think it's a guy-problem when it isn’t,” she said, unwrapped the tinfoil from around the tip of her icicle slash murder weapon, and took a bite out of the tip, a loud crunching sound easily audible as she chewed on the ice.

“I’m not sure if I agree, but all right.”  
“Oh, come on. Haven’t you ever had days when you’re just angry for no apparent reason, and then you go have a wank and feel better?”

“I don’t wank.”  
“Liar.”

“I do not wank, I’m a lady; ladies masturbate,” Hunnigan said, tilting her head back in an exaggerated “I’m better than you”-gesture before sipping from her mug, her pinky-finger held high.

“You’re a wanker, Hunnigan,” Olivia teased with a ridiculous accent and a bit louder than was absolutely necessary, causing a few curious heads to turn and both women burst out laughing at the quirked eyebrows they were receiving.

* * *

 

* * *

 

“Hunnigan... did you pass out?” Leon asked, softly gripping her shoulder and shaking her a little bit.  
“No, I’m time travelling, don’t disturb me,” Hunnigan muttered sleepily. She pulled her feet up and curled herself into a tiny ball in the corner of the couch.

“For someone who claims to be a superhero named Drunkerella, you sure can’t hold your liquor,” Leon chuckled.  
“It’s okay, you guys go ahead, I’ll get her home,” Helena promised as the other agents were preparing to head out for an after-party at the bar they frequently went to for drinks after work.

“You sure?” Leon questioned and both Claire and Olivia promptly elbowed him for questioning her. Of course, both of them had their own agenda for leaving Helena and Hunnigan alone together.  
“Yeah, it’s fine,” Helena nodded, oblivious to the manhandling Leon had just received as thanks for his concern, “I’ll look after her,” she assured.

With that, the others exited the office. Helena took a moment to clean up some of the mugs and random snacks people had left scattered around the room, deciding she’d let Hunnigan take a little nap. Once everything looked almost as good as new, she knelt by the couch and softly touched Hunnigan’s shoulder to try and wake her.

“Your neck’s gonna be sore if you sleep there,” she whispered and Hunnigan agitatedly swatted Helena’s hand away, not caring right now, she just wanted to sleep.

“Come on, wouldn’t you rather sleep in your own bed?” Helena tried coaxing quietly.  
“I’m not in my bed? Damn, my time travel failed, I was supposed to wake up in my bed, you’re disrupting my process,” Hunnigan grumbled and sat up slowly.

“Sorry about that, but I can help you to your bed,” the younger woman chuckled and reached to put her arms under Hunnigan’s to help her up.  
“You’re a good friend,” the other woman said as she slumped against Helena, “And your breasts are incredibly soft,” she added in a mumble after having landed face first against Helena’s chest.

“Thank you,” she laughed and tried pulling Hunnigan up, but couldn’t quite manage it; Hunnigan did try moving herself, but her body refused to co-operate.  
“We’re never gonna make it. Let’s just stay here. It’s fine. I am the de facto boss, I can authorize it,” Hunnigan scoffed softly.

“No, no, no, come on, you’re almost...” Helena began, but Hunnigan had already settled back down on the couch, looking oddly comfortable in a position Helena knew could not possibly be comfortable.  
“This is fine,” Hunnigan said, her eyes closing and Helena sighed.

“Make room, I ain’t leaving you alone here,” she gave up and Hunnigan shifted a little to accommodate the other woman. She rested her head on Helena’s arm, leaning her forehead into the spot between Helena’s neck and shoulder as the younger woman put her arms around Hunnigan’s shoulders and held onto her, smiling a little as Hunnigan’s free arm found its way around Helena’s waist.

“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had,” Hunnigan said sleepily.  
“Likewise,” Helena whispered quietly and softly tickled the back of Hunnigan’s neck with her fingertips.

“That feels nice.”  
“I thought you might like it.”

“I have a confession to make.”  
“Well, you know me, I’m Catholic so I encourage it, confession’s good for the soul,” Helena chuckled.

“When you kissed Olivia, it bothered me.”  
“Why? Because, I don’t think she’s likely to file a complaint for sexual harassment because of the kiss, I’m pretty sure you won’t have to worry about that, little miss De Facto Boss,” Helena jested.

“No, not because of that, although, that’s a good point, and I would appreciate the irony,” Hunnigan muttered.  
“Why then?”

“I don’t know, but it did,” Hunnigan shook her head a little.  
“...because we’re agents and fraternizing is kind of frowned upon?” Helena suggested then and Hunnigan sighed agitatedly.

“I just didn’t like it,” she repeated and apparently, that was all she had to say about that; Helena was about to question her further when she realized the other woman had passed out. Helena let out an amused, soft scoff and moved to rest her chin on top of Hunnigan’s head, closing her eyes as well and giving in when sleep began to take over.

 

***


	14. Blackout days

_The art featured in this chapter was created by none other than the awesome **[Oceanmyhope!](https://oceanmyhope.tumblr.com/)**_

* * *

 

 _And thus concludes another drunken misadventure of Drunkerella. I have got to stop drinking altogether... or start drinking more to build a tolerance, this is embarrassing,_ Hunnigan mused silently when she woke up with a sore neck and her face still snugly pressed against Helena’s chest that was perhaps a bit too bare because of her Wonder Woman-costume which didn’t leave much to the imagination.

Hunnigan pulled back a little, quietly and slowly beginning to untangle her legs from Helena’s and trying to move from the gentle hold of the arms around her, careful not to wake the other woman. Helena shifted a little and Hunnigan froze for a moment until Helena settled and continued her slumber, unaware of the other woman’s attempt to sneak away.

Hunnigan gripped Helena’s forearm and slowly moved her hand away from her hip and began to quietly sit up. Now, if she could just slip her arm away from underneath Helena, where it had evidently ended up at when Hunnigan had slipped it around Helena’s shoulders, she could climb over the sleeping younger woman and try to forget this ever happening.

Usually, when people got too drunk, they forgot the things they’d said and done. Hunnigan didn’t, for the most part. She forgot some details, but the ones she’d rather not remember never seemed to be on the list. Like telling Helena that she hadn’t liked it when the younger woman had kissed Olivia. That was a confession Hunnigan would’ve wanted to forget.

Hunnigan paused as she was about to get up. She took a few seconds to study Helena’s features. She rarely seemed quite as at peace as she did right now, the calm expression on her face a rare sight; when she was awake, she usually seemed troubled by something, but now...

 _I wish you were this at peace when awake too,_ Hunnigan mused and reached to trace Helena’s eyebrow with the tip of her index finger, then ran the back of her hand over Helena’s cheek, her touch so light it was barely even a touch. Hunnigan inhaled sharply and tensed up when Helena suddenly took her hand into her own, turned it a bit and planted a soft, sleepy kiss onto Hunnigan’s palm before interlacing her fingers with Hunnigan’s and holding her hand firmly in her own. Hunnigan waited silently and still for a long while until she was certain Helena was asleep before slowly pulling back.

Finally, she got up and staggered a little before regaining her balance and crossing the lounge to her office. She dug into the top drawer of her desk and pulled out her travel kit which, ironically, never travelled anywhere, but contained a bottle of painkillers in addition to the other necessities every woman should have stashed in their desk drawer. At least, that was what she believed and had repeatedly preached to Olivia every time the other woman found herself needing to ask Hunnigan for a tampon.

 _If I had a quarter for every time... Actually, I should start charging her, then she’d learn. Oh, who am I kidding, she’d bleed everywhere rather than admit she should’ve listened to me,_ Hunnigan thought as she grabbed the painkillers and swallowed two pills.

She blew out a breath and ran a hand over her face, standing still for a long moment and looked over to the couch where Helena was sleeping. She reluctantly admitted to herself that just now, she had gotten very close to leaning in and kissing Helena... and the thought of doing that, even now when there was some distance between them, still caused a tiny but very recognizable twitch of arousal lance through her insides.

 _No, just no, I won’t go there,_ Hunnigan told herself sternly, adamantly refusing to allow this train of thought to go beyond this point, and promptly exited the office, deciding the walk to home would be just what she needed to clear her mind.

* * *

Helena paused in the hallway and frowned deeply when she went to put the key to the lock and realized the door was slightly open. She pushed it open slowly and looked around the foyer. Hunnigan’s keys were in the bowl by the door where she kept them, her bike and her roller skates also in their usual place, so it was unlikely she’d gone anywhere.

“Hunnigan?” Helena called out and stepped in, closing the door behind her, noticing it didn’t lock.

“What the hell?” she scoffed as she studied the lock and realized it was broken. Not good.

“Hunnigan?” she repeated and looked through the apartment before rushing upstairs and barging into the bathroom. She would’ve preferred an awkward moment over discovering the room empty, to be honest. Helena grabbed her phone and dialed Hunnigan only to find the other woman’s phone ringing on the coffee table downstairs. So not good.

She was about to call Olivia, but the other woman beat her to it.

“Yes?” Helena answered immediately.  
“We have a problem.”

“Have you seen Hunnigan?”  
“No time to explain, just get to the HQ now.”

“Olivia, have you-” Helena began to ask again, but the other woman had already ended the call. So not good at all.

* * *

Hunnigan swallowed hard and slowly became aware of the pain in her throat in addition to the throbbing headache. When she moved to bring her hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose, she realized her hands were tied down to the armrests of the chair with plastic cuffs.

“You’re awake! Good! For a while there I was worried I’d overdone it with the ketamine,” a female voice commented. Hunnigan blinked slowly, trying to see who was talking to her, but the room was poorly lit, she was still kind of out of it and, on top of that, she didn’t have her glasses.

“Hey, come on now,” the woman spoke again, leaned closer to Hunnigan and repeatedly snapped her fingers in front of the other woman’s face.  
“Ketamine?” Hunnigan said hoarsely.

“Yeah, sorry about that, but I had to keep you knocked out and I couldn’t just keep choking you out, didn’t want to risk damaging that lovely little brain of yours, I’m gonna need it,” the woman chuckled and took a few steps back, returning to the makeshift table she’d put together from a stack of cardboard boxes.

“Where am I? Why am I here?” Hunnigan asked, frowning deeply.  
“Well, I can’t tell you where, but you’re here because I need something from your agency and according to the intel provided to me, you’re just the right person for the job.”

“And who are you?”  
“You can call me Jenova,” the woman smiled and Hunnigan groaned. Of course.

 _This can’t be happening,_ Hunnigan thought and exhaled deeply, closing her eyes for a long moment and mentally told herself to wake up.

“Now, I am going to untie your hands, but don’t get any ideas. There’s no reason we can’t be civilized, and I’d really hate to have to hurt you... which, I promise you, I will do if you do something stupid,” Jenova said, leaning down to cut the ties around Hunnigan’s wrists.

“What do you want from me?” Hunnigan asked, contemplating on kneeing the other woman’s jaw. She was pretty sure she could’ve reached it, her feet were bound together but not tied to anything else, not that Hunnigan could tell. But then again, what would doing that accomplish? She certainly wouldn’t be able to make a run for it even if she did manage to knock the other woman out... which she doubted she could actually do, at most, she’d probably just make her mad.

“I’m glad you asked,” Jenova said after freeing Hunnigan’s other hand. She walked over to the carboard boxes that served as a table and grabbed the laptop that was ontop of it. Hunnigan looked around, trying to figure out where she was exactly. Judging from the decaying, rusty equipment, this was an abandoned power plant.

 _How many of those are there in the country? How many of them are anywhere near D.C.? I couldn’t have been passed out long enough for them to take me very far. Think. Come on, just think, there has to be something..._ Hunnigan thought silently, but kept drawing up blanks. Who would’ve guessed that extensive knowledge regarding abandoned power plants would’ve come in handy at some point.

“When I told my father and my brother that we should consider using B.OW.s, I should’ve known those idiots wouldn’t think it through,” Jenova sighed.  
“Declan and Joel. I know you met them,” she then added and returned to Hunnigan, handing her the laptop.

“I did,” she admitted in a mutter and accepted the computer from the other woman.

“They took the cheapest and easiest deal, had they been more patient, they could still be alive. But no, it was all about that stupid sawmill to those two, I mean... all that potential, and they focus on a logging project? Stupid men,” Jenova scoffed.

“Where did you even get the B.O.W.s?” Hunnigan frowned and the other woman quirked an eyebrow.  
“Now, that would be telling,” she said and grabbed a folding chair, dragged it closer and took a seat. Hunnigan could finally make out her features. She looked rather young, her dirty blonde hair was tied to a ponytail, she was skinny to the point of it being unhealthy and the lack of body fat further emphasized the deep dents of her cheeks and the high cheekbones.

“I assume you’re not just gonna let me walk away after I’ve given you what you want... provided I even give you what you want, so you might as well tell me.”

“Don’t let your loyalty to your employer blind you; you know perfectly well that your own government is responsible for funding terrorists, domestic and otherwise. It can’t be that far-fetched to think that someone would leak intelligence and research to the highest bidder. There’s a wide selection of goods on the black market if you know where to look and can afford it.”

“Great. Okay, so it’s all a government conspiracy, as always,” Hunnigan scoffed. Truthfully, she wasn’t the type to blindly believe everything she heard, but that worked both ways; she didn’t trust the likes of Jenova to tell the absolute truth either. She believed in solid evidence. She believed and knew that Jenova had a point; the government was known for funding morally questionable persons and groups, but it was for a goal. A goal Hunnigan had to believe was to find a way to catch all the cells in hiding, to find a way to infiltrate them, to pick up some kind of a trail. She could be wrong, but if she stopped believing, it would mean her life’s work would’ve been for nothing. She couldn’t have that.

“It really doesn’t matter, I’m putting an end to a lot of things soon. I just need one thing from you.”  
“Why would I help you?” Hunnigan spat.

“Because if you won’t, I will have to get unpleasant. I would threaten to hurt you, but that probably wouldn’t work... I’m not letting that librarian-look fool me, based on everything I’ve heard about you, you’re a lot tougher than you look,” Jenova said and stood up, circling to stand behind Hunnigan and put her hands onto the other woman’s shoulders.

“Now, usually this kind of tactics would be below me, but desperate times, right?” she spoke, leaning closer to Hunnigan’s ear, “You seem very close to your family. Do you see where I’m going with this?”  
“Leave them out of whatever stupid shit you’re planning,” Hunnigan said through clenched teeth.

“I’ll be happy to. Well, for now, I mean... eventually everyone will be affected in one way or another, but until then...” Jenova said, stood up straight and patted Hunnigan’s shoulders before returning to her seat across from Hunnigan.

“So, what do you want?”  
“I want information, that’s all. I want you to get me your files about the plaga, specifically the master plaga. I want to know how it works before I use it myself.”

“I can’t help you with that.”  
“Oh, you underestimate yourself, agent Hunnigan.”

“No, I mean... the files you’re looking for aren’t actually _on_ my computer, they’re all on servers that are accessible only from the agency’s private network, I can’t just log in and give them to you,” Hunnigan explained in exasperation. It wasn’t a complete lie, she really couldn’t access the files, not without logging onto the agency VPN... which she could’ve done from her computer, but she prayed that Jenova wouldn’t know that.

“Well, then you’re just gonna have to hack your way through, aren’t you?” the other woman shrugged and Hunnigan sighed.  
“You _do_ realize that it isn’t as easy as it looks in hacker-movies from the eighties?” she narrowed her eyes.

“Get to work. And don’t even think about doing anything stupid, I’m not as tech-savy as you, but I’ll be able to tell if you decide to go rogue,” Jenova warned her, stuck the USB modem into place and moved her seat next to Hunnigan’s to be able to keep an eye on the screen.

“Yes, ma’am,” Hunnigan muttered.

* * *

_view in full size over[here](http://i.imgur.com/BudxCRR.jpg)_

 

* * *

“Someone from the building called the cops when they saw a person breaking into Hunnigan’s apartment,” Olivia explained and pulled up the footage from the security cameras in the hallway of the building.  
“This is Hunnigan getting in, fast-forward a bit... and here she is, walking out with that person,” she continued.

“Why would she just go with them? Who the hell was that even?” Helena questioned agitatedly, as if Olivia were somehow supposed to have all the answers.  
“Judging from the way he or she is dragging Hunnigan, I think she was barely conscious.”

“Well, then why the fuck didn’t anyone do anything!” Helena continued furiously and kicked a trash can across the room, “There’s people passing by, right there!” she continued, jabbing her finger into the screen, pointing at the people glancing over but not stopping to even question what was happening.

“Because people don’t want to get involved, and I’m guessing it wouldn’t have taken much to convince any bystanders that they were just helping a drunken friend,” Olivia sighed, getting kind of agitated herself at Helena’s outbursts. She was not helping.

“Please tell me that Big Brother comes in handy at least and that you were able to track them,” Helena muttered. There was so much surveillance equipment everywhere these days it shouldn’t be possible for anyone to just disappear.

“Uh, partly. The plates they used were stolen from another car and with this make and model not being exactly unique, it... got lost in the traffic quite easily after a while.”  
“This can’t be happening,” Helena groaned and ran her hands over her face, “All right, so, what do we do?” she then asked, pacing around the office impatiently. Olivia took a deep breath and sighed deeply.

“I don’t know.”  
“What? Come on, there’s gotta be something!” Helena scoffed.

“If there was something I could do, don’t you fucking think I would be doing it right now!” Olivia lost her temper and stood up so furiously her chair rolled into the wall, clattering loudly against it.  
“...I’m sorry. It’s just... okay, let’s just think about this,” Helena then said, trying to keep her voice calm, raising her hands a little in a surrendering gesture.

“When someone gets abducted, the people behind it usually want something, right?”  
“Yeah, unless they just decided to sell her to slavery,” Olivia shrugged and Helena had to let out an amused scoff. Never say never, but highly unlikely.

“So, if you were to abduct Hunnigan, why would you go after her specifically? Her folks aren’t rich, as far as I know, so I doubt it’s for ransom money.”  
“It’s gotta be work-related. Hunnigan’s pretty high up the food chain as far as government employees go,” Olivia said.

“Yeah, makes sense.”  
“Meaning all we can do right now is to wait for the people behind this to contact us with-” Olivia began to say but left the rest unsaid when an alert popped up on her screen.

“No way,” she whispered, dragged her chair back and took a seat.  
“What’s happening?” Helena frowned and went to her, leaning over her shoulder, looking at the screen but not really understanding what she was seeing, the strings of numbers and odd abbreviations meaning nothing to her.

“I’m being hacked.”  
“You sound oddly happy about it,” Helena frowned.

“It’s Hunnigan. It has to be,” Olivia said excitedly as she went to insert the unwelcome guest’s IP address into a search bar.  
“What makes you so sure?” Helena questioned, not quite as convinced.

“Do you honestly see anyone else being able to get anywhere near my computer remotely?” Olivia scoffed. Helena wanted to remark something about teenagers hacking into government networks on a daily basis, but decided not to. The D.S.O. undoubtedly had security far more advanced than other agencies, after all, the D.S.O. was kind of Hunnigan’s baby, she wouldn’t neglect the agency’s network security.

“What are you doing?” Helena then whispered, almost as if talking out loud would’ve been more disruptive to Olivia’s work.  
“I’m trying to trace the hacker’s IP address.”

“I don’t know what that means.”  
“It means that I can get their approximate location... provided they’re not using a VPN, but if this is Hunnigan, she wouldn’t bother doing this if she knew I wouldn’t be able to pull the information I need, she knew I would notice this, it’s her, it has to be,” Olivia babbled as she waited for the search tool to work its magic. Helena wasn’t sure if Olivia was trying to convince herself or Helena at this moment.

“Got it!” Olivia whispered victoriously, “Well, it’s not an exact address, but it’s...”  
“Liv, where!” Helena interrupted impatiently.

“Westport, Baltimore, Maryland. I’m gonna try to narrow it down further, I’ll ask nicely and then I’ll do what Hunnigan would do,” Olivia smirked and Helena frowned a little, not bothering to admit that once again, she didn’t know what Olivia meant, it didn’t matter, she had a clue, it was enough for now.

“I’m going, call me if you find the exact location and please, send backup,” Helena said.  
“I’m on it, we got this.”

***


	15. Annihilation

* * *

**_The art featured in this chapter was borrowed -with permission- from[Fishbone76.](http://fishbone76.tumblr.com/)_ **

* * *

 

Hunnigan was dragging it out, trying to win time, praying that Olivia would realize what she was doing, but Jenova was becoming impatient and suspicious.

“I told you, it doesn’t work like in the movies, these things take time,” Hunnigan repeated for the umpteenth time when Jenova told her to hurry the hell up. Hunnigan had given her some reports on the plaga to read, but she wasn’t happy with them.

She didn’t care about the inferior plaga, she wanted to know how the master plaga worked, she needed to know she’d be able to remain in charge if she were to infect herself with it. Leon’s report from the Los Illuminados-case implied that it was possible, but she needed details. She needed to be able to ensure the plaga she’d procured was the stable kind.

“I can tell you right now that you won’t be able to figure it out until you try it on,” Hunnigan muttered.  
“How about I have you try it on for size?”

“Feel free to, but fair warning; if you inject me with anything that gives me control over the Lickers or the other plaga you undoubtedly have stashed away in this hellhole, I will use them to kill you,” Hunnigan said, and she wasn’t bluffing.

“Just get me the files. Right now,” Jenova ordered and Hunnigan sighed. She took a few more moments to unnecessarily type away before finally handing over the laptop with all the reports and files opened and the ones regarding the master plaga highlighted for her convenience. All or nothing.

“What are you doing? I did what you asked!” Hunnigan yelled when Jenova dug out a syringe and pulled the protective cap from over the needle with her teeth.  
“Yeah, well, I’ll need a moment to verify that and I can’t afford having you possibly causing trouble when I’m not looking,” she said and pushed the needle through the skin on the inside of Hunnigan’s elbow.

“What is that?”  
“Ketamine.”

“No, you can’t do that, don’t do that, it’ll...”  
“Be quiet, it’s not going to kill you,” Jenova dismissed and pushed the plunger down.

“No, you don’t understand, I... You really shouldn’t...” Hunnigan protested, but the damage was already done and the drowsy, sedated relaxation flooded over Hunnigan, leaving her unable to fight over it further.

* * *

The area had a lot of abandoned housing available, but the abandoned power plant was the one place that stuck out with the best potential for a hideout for Jenova’s people. Helena hoped she wasn’t wrong, but realistically, she doubted that Jenova would choose an abandoned private home as their headquarters over a place like this.

 _X-ray vision would be really handy right about now,_ she mused as she eyed the large concrete building before beginning to approach it, hoping that she managed to slip by unnoticed. She entered and took a moment to look around. Nothing here, but she could hear something in the distance. She could _feel_ something in the distance.

 _I hate this crap,_ she sighed internally and slowly opened the door to the room she really did not want to enter, but knew she had to. It was darker than the previous room with the large, broken windows had been and it took her eyes a moment to adjust. Helena froze when she felt something drip onto her shoulder.

 _Shit,_ she thought, looked up slowly and realized she was staring right into a Licker’s mouth, the creature’s long tongue drawn back and suddenly darting toward her, wrapping around her neck like a whip made of flesh, the sharp edges of the tissue digging into her skin and breaking it.

The Licker screetched when a blade appeared and cut into its tongue, breaking the grip. Following the noise was a short burst from an assault rifle and the monster dropped down from the ceiling, tensing up and preparing to jump when Helena pulled out the Hydra and fired all three rounds into the Licker’s gaping mouth, destroying its head in the process.

* * *

 

  _  
view in full size at[Fishbone76's Deviantart gallery](http://fishbone76.deviantart.com/)_

* * *

 

 

“Fucking things!” Helena hissed furiously, pulled the remains of the tongue off from around her neck and kicked the dead Licker.  
“You okay?” Leon asked as he hurried over to her and put his hand on her shoulder.

“I’ve been better, minor external injuries mostly, I’m fine,” Helena dismissed and wiped some blood from her neck with the back of her hand.  
“Good, then move, hurry, we’re not alone,” Leon muttered and Helena followed the line of his sight up.

“Oh, God,” she exclaimed quietly. The catwalks surrounding the room were crawling with Lickers, the creatures swarming in a hissing mass like a pile of snakes.  
“Why aren’t they attacking?” she wondered out loud.

“Because they haven't been ordered to do that. Yet,” a female voice responded from across the room.  
“Give it up, this place is going to be full of agents and marines in a matter of minutes, you’ve got nowhere to run,” Leon said, pointing his rifle at her.

“Run? I have no intention of running, agent Kennedy. The endgame begins here. You can throw as much people into this mess as you want, it won’t change anything.”  
“Where is Hunnigan?” Helena demanded.

“What are you talking about?” Leon asked over her and the woman chuckled.  
“You’re the expert, agent Kennedy. You’ve seen what just a few of these can do to an entire city, imagine it spreading into the entire country... and then the world.”

“Where is she!” Helena repeated, her outburst causing a few impatient Lickers to hiss at her as they began to descend down along the wall.  
“I’ve taken down the likes of you single-handedly before, this time won’t be any different, especially not when I’ve got backup on the way,” Leon commented confidently.

“Consider this me calling your bluff,” the woman replied and with that, she exited the room and the moment the door closed behind her, the Lickers began jumping down from all sides.

“Please, tell me you weren’t bluffing about backup,” Helena said as she reloaded the shotgun, her back against Leon’s as they moved toward the exit.  
“Well, not exactly,” Leon muttered and fired at the Licker that leapt at him.

“What the hell does that mean!”  
“It takes a while to deploy troops, the best we could do on such short notice was a drone strike to contain the worst,” Leon explained.

“Are you insane!” Helena yelled.  
“It’s standard procedure! Escape or die, you know how it works!”

“What’s the ETA?”  
“Twenty minutes, tops.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Helena cursed furiously and took out another Licker. They were getting bolder, but thankfully they weren’t exactly clever and preferred just throwing themselves at her and Leon rather than trying anything more subtle which fortunately made them  easy to pick off one by one.

Leon and Helena finally reached the door and to their surprise, it was unlocked. Leon shoved Helena inside before hurrying over himself and pushing the door shut, pressing his back against it.

“Great, okay, it doesn’t lock. Shit,” he hissed.  
“Maybe there’s something we can use to block it.”

“We don’t have the time, we have to find Hunnigan and get out of here.”  
“If she’s even here anymore,” Helena scoffed.

“Olivia,” Leon said over the radio, “can you get us a map of this place and mark all the exits?” he asked.  
“Already on it, but this is an old blueprint, some of the exits might be blocked,” Olivia answered quickly and sent the information over.

“Thanks. How much time do we have?”  
“Seventeen minutes, and that’s being somewhat generous.”

“I hate this crap!” Helena cursed once again and Leon sighed.  
“Okay, Olivia, if you were the lunatic running this joint, where would you hide your bargaining chip?” he asked.

“I’d use the control room as my post, it would be relatively easy to fix up and it’s in the safe spot where you can monitor everything.”  
“You’re sure? Because we only have one shot.”

“No pressure then, huh? Look, don’t ask me to make these damn decisions, I’m just a glorified navigator!” Olivia argued.

The F.O.S. agents were far more than just glorified navigators, but one asshole agent once upon a time had made the remark to the contrary, and it had stuck around. Nowadays, however, it was rare that anyone other than an F.O.S. agent themselves used it sarcastically when asked to do something more than give simple directions.

“Liv, you’re one of the smartest people in the entire agency, possibly even _the_ smartest, you can draw conclusions and see patterns where no one else can, I trust you to make this decision rather than making it myself. Now... are you absolutely certain?” Leon reasoned calmly and Olivia was silent for a while as she went through the possibilities and tried to come up with an option B in case there would be time to try again if she were wrong. She didn’t believe she was, but...

“I’m sure. The control room.”

“All right. Helena, go. I’ll keep these fuckers occupied and I’ll meet up with you in ten minutes at the control room and we’ll head to the nearest exit from there.”

“Be careful.”  
“You too.”

* * *

Without thinking, Helena did the stupid thing almost anyone probably would’ve done just on pure instinct; she rammed herself shoulder first into the door. It worked and the old metal gave in underneath the force of her body rushing to it, but it didn’t come without cost. She could feel and hear something pop in her shoulder, and of course it was the one that had barely recovered from the last injury.

“Oh, God, I’m an idiot! Okay... come on,” she muttered at herself, taking hissing breaths from between clenched teeth as she hurried inside.

“Liv, I owe you a liquor store worth of drinks,” Helena then breathed in relief when she saw Hunnigan slumped in a chair near one of the consoles of the control room.

“Hey... Hunnigan? Come on, snap out of it...” she muttered after hurrying over to her and removing the ties around the other woman’s ankles.  
“I can’t move,” Hunnigan drawled, her eyes barely open.

“Are you hurt?”  
“You know those fainting goats? My legs are like those goats.”

“What are you talking about?” Helena frowned and Hunnigan chuckled.  
“My legs didn’t fall asleep, they fainted!”

“Are you high?”  
“...mmmaybe.”

“Oh, for Christ’s sakes. All right, come on... I got you...” Helena whispered and knelt down in front of the chair with her back toward Hunnigan.  
“Lean over and hold on, okay?” she instructed and Hunnigan did as she was told as Helena wrapped her arms around the backs of Hunnigan’s knees and lifted her up on her back.

“This brings back memories,” Leon commented when he ran to the control room and began leading the way toward the exit, once again tasked with the job of protecting Helena who was doing the lifting.

“Yeah, let’s make sure we end up better than the last time,” Helena huffed as she shrugged a little to adjust her grip on Hunnigan and began jogging next to Leon.  
“We’ll be fine, there’s still time, we’re gonna make it,” he assured and Helena wondered if he was trying to convince her or himself.

Once they’d made it outside, they hurried over to Leon’s car and Helena got into the backseat with Hunnigan while Leon took over the wheel.

“Where’s Jenova?” Hunnigan asked in a mutter.  
“What?”

“She was... she has the things, she’s the big boss person.”  
“I don’t know, I didn’t see her, just the Lickers, do you know what she wanted or where she went?” Helena tried, but Hunnigan wasn’t in a condition to give a coherent response.

“Leon, you have to leave now if you want to clear the blast zone in time!” Olivia yelled over the radio.

“I’m working on it!” he snapped and started the car, speeding away and running over the Lickers that had caught up to them. A few minutes after, he saw the drone reach its target and moments later, the shockwave caught up to them, shoving the car forward. Leon growled in frustration as he tried to regain control.

“Sorry,” he called out over his shoulder when Helena grunted as she hit her shoulder into the passenger’s side seat.  
“It’s okay, just get us out of here.”

“Almost at the rendezvous point,” he said.  
“Good. Hunnigan, are you okay?” Helena then asked.

“No,” Hunnigan said, her breathing turning into shallow gasps.  
“What’s wrong? Hunnigan, answer me!” Helena demanded, but Hunnigan wasn’t responding.

“What’s happening?” Leon asked.

“She’s not breathing!” Helena said and moved a little in the backseat to be able to lean over Hunnigan and begin compressing the other woman’s chest.  
“Almost there, just hold on! Liv, tell the team at the...”

“Already done, just get there, the medics are waiting!” Olivia interrupted.  
“Come on, don’t do this...” Helena mumbled through clenched teeth.

Leon pulled the car to an abrupt stop and hurried out, almost yanking the door off its hinges as he pulled it open and helped the team get Hunnigan out of the car.

“She has a heart condition and she said she’d been drugged, I don’t know with what, she was gasping and then just stopped breathing,” Helena babbled as she stood by the medics.  
“She’s gone into cardiac arrest, we’re gonna need some space here, move, move!” the medic ordered and Leon gripped Helena’s arm and pulled her further away.

“Please, just..!”  
“Helena, you’re not helping, let them handle it,” Leon said and crossed his arm in front of her as she tried to go back closer.

“I know, but..!”

She hated this feeling of helplessness, hated not being able to do more than to stupidly stand by and watch. Just like when Deborah had gotten dragged away from her and infected. Just like when her parents had died. Just like almost every damn time.

 _Please, not her too. I don’t know what your fucking game is, but not her too, you can’t do this!_ she told God and angrily wiped the tears that slid over her cheeks.

_Not her too. Please. Whatever you want, I’ll figure out a way to get it done, I’ll do anything, just don’t..._

But when had pleading to make a deal with God ever worked?

 ***


	16. Dreaming wide awake

* * *

The art featured in this chapter was created by the ever amazing **[Oceanmyhope](https://oceanmyhope.tumblr.com/). :** 3

* * *

 

Helena didn’t care that it was against hospital policy, there was no way in hell she would leave the side of Hunnigan’s bed. She was tempted to bare her teeth and growl at the staff that kept insisting she should go home and get some rest, but she resisted the urge; the last thing she needed was to be hauled away to be checked for rabies.

“You brought Bear,” Hunnigan mumbled and Helena scampered to straighten up so hastily she almost fell off of her chair.  
“Yeah. I figured... you’d want him around,” she whispered.

“Thank you. What happened?”  
“What do you remember?”

“Not much. I went home and someone was there, and the next thing I know I was... at a power plant?” Hunnigan recalled, frowning deeply and Helena nodded.  
“In Baltimore. You tried to hack the D.S.O..”

“Jenova told me she needed the plaga-files. Liv figured it out. She’s good,” Hunnigan chuckled tiredly.  
“Yeah, she is,” Helena agreed with a smile.

“How did I get here?”

“Liv tracked down the IP address you were using, and I came looking for you... well, Leon helped. A little,” Helena grinned, “Then there was a drone strike and some agents and marines and... it was kind of messy, not the D.S.O.’s finest operation, but that was to be expected because you weren’t coordinating it,” she then chuckled, but Hunnigan ignored the compliment.

“And Jenova?”  
“...we’re not sure. We found a body and according to the autopsy, it was a female infected with a plaga, but despite our efforts, we weren’t able to identify her nor were we able to determine what type of plaga it was.”

“Jenova was female, maybe in her forties, and she was only interested in the master plaga,” Hunnigan listed the few details she could recall.  
“That helps, but right now, we don’t have anything conclusive on anything,” Helena trailed off and Hunnigan sighed deeply.

“How long have I been out?” she then frowned and pushed herself to sit up straighter on the bed.  
“You were drugged with ketamine and went into cardiac arrest, you’ve been in a coma for three days.”

“Well, that explains a few things...” Hunnigan muttered and moved to sit cross-legged on the bed, wrapping her arms around Bear.

Seeking comfort from a stuffed animal was an odd and admittedly a childish thing to do for someone close to their mid-thirties, but it worked and Hunnigan had learned to dismiss the jokes made by those who might have chosen to ridicule her for it. But with Helena here, she realized she didn’t need to dismiss anything. On the contrary, Helena was the one who’d brought the bear to Hunnigan because she’d known how important it would be to her. She was thoughtful in a way not a lot of people would’ve even realized to be.

 _She’s a good woman,_ Hunnigan mused silently and then perked up a little when Helena continued talking shop.

“So far we haven’t heard anything more from Jenova... the group, I mean, the chatter in known hot zones has been non-existent,” Helena shrugged one shoulder and Hunnigan nodded slowly. If Jenova somehow had survived, surely she’d need time to recover and pool her resources. Hunnigan wished she could’ve been certain that the nightmare was over, but she didn’t believe she was that lucky.

“Wait, why is your arm in a sling again?” she then noticed and Helena chuckled, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly.  
“Fighting off the ladies, you know how it is to be super wanted,” she winked, grinning a little and Hunnigan narrowed her eyes at the younger woman.

“Okay, okay, it’s because I’m an idiot and used my shoulder as a lockpick,” Helena confessed, her grin turning into a smirk, “Don’t worry, nothing’s broken, this is just a precaution, I’m fine!”  
“Helena..!”

“I’m okay. Now, sit tight, I’m gonna go let the doctors know you’re up, I’m sure they wanna poke and prod at you before you have a chance to make a run for it,” Helena then jested and exited the room before Hunnigan would have a proper chance to scold her for being reckless.

* * *

Helena had watched Hunnigan for a long while now and noticed that the other woman wasn’t reading the reports she’d insisted to read as much as she was just scrolling through the text, blankly staring the screen but obviously not really seeing anything. Helena understood that keeping busy and drowning herself in any bit of work she could was Hunnigan’s way of dealing with things, but this wasn’t helping.

Helena went downstairs and took a seat next to Hunnigan on the couch. She didn’t say anything, just slowly reached to push the laptop’s lid shut and to her surprise, Hunnigan didn’t even protest. Instead, she sighed softly, picked the glasses from her face and reached to put them onto the coffee table, next to where Helena had put her laptop.

“I don’t understand how you do it,” she mumbled.  
“Do what?” Helena asked, leaning to sit back on the couch.

“Everything. After the things you’ve seen and gone through, I don’t think I could do what you do.”  
“What other choice do I have? I got dealt a bad hand, I can either keep feeling sorry for myself or I can try to get over it and keep fighting.”

“I play field agent for a day and make a mess of everything. I’m not used to screwing up... let alone ending up needing to be rescued like some damn damsel in distress.”

“First of all, you didn’t screw up. If it weren’t for what you dug up while ‘playing field agent’, we’d probably be still in Sakana, trying to scrounge up clues. Besides, you don't make a bad field agent at all, you were thinking tactically and making quick decisions even in some really fucked up situations,” Helena began and Hunnigan scoffed. She didn’t agree, but Helena didn’t let her argue.

“Secondly, sure, most of being a field agent is knowing what you’re doing, but I’m not lying or exaggerating when I say that more than half of it is just winging it and hoping that pieces fall together neatly... It’s hoping that your partner figures it out, that your support figures it out... it’s hoping that someone will rescue your ass. I mean, Leon and I haven’t even been working together for very long, and he’s already saved my hide more times than I can remember.”

“I’ve also lost track of how many times you’ve saved my life just recently. At least three, right? First in Sakana, then at the bar, and now in Baltimore. Oh, well, four if you count Baltimore twice since not only did you drag me out from the power plant, you kept me alive when my heart stopped.”

“I’d only count two, once in Sakana and once in Baltimore. The bar was really my fault,” Helena muttered, then shook her head, “It doesn’t matter, it’s not like there’s a limit to how many times I’d save the woman I...”

 _...love,_ Helena bit back the last word that almost escaped from her lips before she even realized what she was saying.

“...I consider my best friend and care about very much,” she corrected herself awkwardly.

“It’s not that I doubt your willingness to do it, I just don’t want to be _that_ person, I don’t want to be the one who has to be rescued. I hate the idea of... Look, it’s like I said long ago. I’ve always been alone, it’s all I know. I don’t want to have to rely upon others.”

“I get it... but I hope you’ll know you _can_ rely upon me,” Helena said quietly and Hunnigan sighed a little.  
“As I said, I’m not doubting you. I just want to be able to handle myself.”

“Okay,” Helena nodded.  
“I suppose I sound ungrateful and stupidly stubborn even, but it’s not how I mean it, I just...”

“I told you, I get it. I really do,” Helena assured quietly.  
“...that said...” Hunnigan began and cleared her throat a little, her discomfort regarding what she was about to ask obvious, “...would you stay with me? I don’t really want to be alone right now.”

“Well, it’s not like I have anywhere to go, I’ve been really bad about getting an apartment, I know, and I’m sorry, I...”

“No,” Hunnigan laughed softly, shaking her head, “I meant, stay with me, here. Right now, as in... would you hold me?” she elaborated awkwardly, “I know what I said about liking solitude, but I didn’t really realize how lonely I actually was until you showed up and I realized I am happier when you’re here with me...”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Helena responded quietly.

“I feel kind of stupid for asking, and I feel... useless for losing it so easily. Compared to the things you’ve gone through, not only recently, but in general... I feel kind of shitty for breaking down in front of you out of all people,” Hunnigan scoffed, stubbornly ignoring the tear that slid down her cheek, afraid that if she acknowledged it, she wouldn’t be able keep herself from just bursting into uncontrollable sobs.

“It’s okay,” Helena whispered and wiped the tear away from the side of Hunnigan’s mouth, the touch of her thumb light as a feather, “I got you,” she then said, slowly wrapping her arm around Hunnigan’s shoulders and pulled her closer, settling to lie down on the couch.

* * *

 

created by [Oceanmyhope](https://oceanmyhope.tumblr.com/), view in full size [here](http://i.imgur.com/EnpA6yV.jpg)

* * *

 

“I got you,” she repeated, ran her fingers through Hunnigan’s hair and finally let her hand remain cupping Hunnigan’s face, gently caressing her cheek with the side of her thumb as the other woman gave in and let the tears come.

“I’m sorry, I know this is...”  
“Shhh, don’t apologize. You’re okay, I’m okay... we’re okay, I’m not going to leave you alone, I’ll keep you safe. Always, I promise,” Helena murmured quietly, her words somewhat muffled as she nuzzled the top of Hunnigan’s head as the other woman hid her face into the spot between Helena’s neck and shoulder. Hunnigan scoffed a little through tears, wanting to argue that she didn’t need anyone to keep her safe, that she was fine on her own... which wouldn’t have been a complete lie, but did feel like a ridiculous argument considering the situation they were in right now.

“You don’t have to be alone,” Helena whispered, rubbing a gentle circle on Hunnigan’s back with her hand. The other woman didn’t comment, instead she took a deep shuddering breath and sniffled a little as the tears began to fade. She inhaled Helena’s scent, the familiar smell of her musk, cigarettes and leather sugared with a hint of cherry flooding Hunnigan’s senses. She felt safe and comforted knowing Helena was there. She hadn’t realized how much she’d actually longed for something like that until right now.

Hunnigan pulled back a little and stared at Helena’s neck. It was a little bruised and there were three, already healing cuts breaking the smoothness, a memento of being strangled by a Licker. Hunnigan tilted her head back and leaned closer, pressing a gentle kiss onto the pale skin and over the wound. Helena inhaled sharply and Hunnigan felt the fabric of her shirt tighten around her when Helena balled her hand into a fist, gripping a handful of the back of Hunnigan’s shirt in it. She could feel Helena’s heart beat quicken as she trailed her lips over the pulse point on Helena’s neck.

“Hunnigan... don’t do this to me. Not unless you really mean it,” Helena said hoarsely, her throat suddenly running dry.  
“You know me well enough to know I wouldn’t even think about doing this unless I really meant it.”

“Yes, but the thing is, you’re vulnerable right now and you might think that this is what you want... I just don’t want you to regret this later when you realize that you just wanted comfort... and I don’t want you to think that you have to do this to get that, because I’m right here either way.”

“The fact that you’re even concerned about that speaks volumes of your character, you are a good woman, Helena.”

Hunnigan inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to think of the perfect way to word it, but soon realized there wasn’t one. No matter how she’d say it, she’d be putting everything out there. But, that was how it was supposed to go, wasn’t it?

“I’m not doing this out of grief or some confused need for comfort... I’m doing this because I’m falling in love with you. Don’t ask me since when, because I can’t answer that, I don’t know. I just know that when you got shot, I thought I was watching you die, and when I realized how close I really came to losing you, I also understood that... a big part of me would’ve died with you.”

“Hunnigan...”

“I know, I’m sorry, I realize that I’m putting a lot of pressure on you, and I don’t mean to. I also don’t want you to worry, I understand that you might not feel the same way about me and that’s okay. As far as working together goes, I can assign Olivia as your F.O.S. agent if you feel uncomfortable working with me after this,” Hunnigan babbled and Helena chuckled quietly and tucked a lock of hair behind Hunnigan’s ear before leaning to kiss her forehead softly.

“You can put pressure on me anytime,” she mumbled with a smile.  
“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I want you to be my girl.”  
“Oh, that is so corny,” Hunnigan chuckled.

“I am corny. And romantic. And I love very deeply, and those are just a few of my good traits,” Helena grinned and Hunnigan playfully shoved her shoulder for that.  
“Ow!” the younger woman exclaimed and Hunnigan covered her mouth with her hand.

“Oh, my God, I’m so sorry, I forgot!” she mumbled against her palm and Helena laughed a little.  
“I’m being dramatic, it’s fine, didn’t really even hurt.”

“In that case, you can add ‘jerk’ to your list of good traits,” Hunnigan narrowed her eyes at the other woman but of course, Helena had a response to that too.  
“I’m also an amazing kisser,” she smiled confidently and cupped Hunnigan’s face softly with her hand before leaning in and slowly interlocking her lips with Hunnigan’s.

* * *

Helena was the first one to wake up in the morning and she smiled happily when she felt Hunnigan’s chin rest against the top of her head as the taller woman spooned her. Helena sought out Hunnigan’s hand, interlaced her fingers with Hunnigan’s and pulled the other woman’s arm around herself. Hunnigan moved to rest her leg on Helena’s hip and scooted closer, tightening her hold on Helena as she nudged herself nearer the younger woman until their bodies were firmly pressed together.

“I could get used to this,” Helena whispered.  
“I was hoping you would.”

“Is that so?”  
“Technically, we wouldn’t even fall into the category of lesbian clichés since you’d already more or less moved in before we’ve even gone out on a date,” Hunnigan said sleepily, her smile audible in her voice.

“Oh!” Helena exclaimed softly.  
“...what? Were we not talking about the same thing?” Hunnigan inquired, suddenly feeling wide awake and somewhat awkward about the possibility of a misunderstanding, especially when it came to a matter such as this.

“Well, not necessarily, but I can see why you’d...” Helena stammered.

“Oh, God, I’m sorry, I... I’m bad at this,” Hunnigan sighed then and turned to lie on her back, resting her forearm over her eyes to hide. Helena chuckled softly, turned to face Hunnigan and rose to rest her weight on her elbow while reaching her other hand over to gently grip Hunnigan’s wrist and bring her arm down.

“We weren’t talking about the same thing, but that doesn’t mean I’m against the idea of living together officially,” she comforted gently and leaned over to kiss Hunnigan’s lips.  
“You do realize that means you’ll have to start paying half of the rent?” Hunnigan then teased and for that, Helena softly bit her lower lip.

“ _You_ do realize that I would’ve done it from the start if you’d let me,” she pointed out, settled to lie on her back and slipped her arm underneath Hunnigan’s shoulders, pulling her into a sweetheart’s cradle.

“I know,” Hunnigan smiled and turned to kiss Helena’s cheek before resting her head on the younger woman’s arm and letting her eyes close for a while longer, enjoying the way Helena lightly raked her fingernails up and down along Hunnigan’s arm. They fell silent, but it wasn’t awkward, it was a comfortable silence between two people who could spend hours just listening to each other breathe and be fully content with that. There was enough talking in the world as it was.

Hunnigan put her arm around Helena’s body and snuggled closer, getting lost in thought. She’d never really done “serious relationships” before and contrary to what people liked to think, it had indeed been voluntary. Not a lot of people believed that about her, though, because what woman in her thirties _wanted_ to be single? It made no sense, she had to be lying or putting on a brave face. Maybe some women in the same situation were, but Hunnigan wasn’t.

She’d had boyfriends, her relationships had been relatively stable and some had even lasted long periods of time... until she’d decided to end them. The moment a boyfriend even hinted at possibly wishing to discuss living together... or even suggested that she leaves some of her belongings at his place (or worse, tried sneaking _his_ toothbrush into _her_ bathroom), she’d bolted. She didn’t want it, any of it.

Hunnigan had tried explaining it to a boyfriend once and only once. After he’d said he understood, he’d still kept bringing it up and kept questioning her decision, and after that experience, Hunnigan had decided that she wouldn’t bother with explanations in the future; she would just make a run for it.

She could love a person and enjoy spending time with them, and still, at the end of the day, she _needed_ her own private space to go to, she needed to be alone. The idea of coming home and having someone there waiting for her was just upsetting to her. But with Helena, it was different. Hunnigan found herself actually wanting to be around the younger woman. She didn’t feel exhausted by Helena’s presence.

She admitted that when she’d first invited Helena to stay, she’d fully expected to be constantly tired from having to socialize practically non-stop, but Helena was capable of being in the same room, sharing the same space without invading Hunnigan’s and without making the situation awkward. It had gotten to the point of Hunnigan realizing she actually missed Helena if she wasn’t around, that was something no one else had ever accomplished before.

“I love you.”  
“I love you too,” Helena whispered and turned to softly kiss Hunnigan’s forehead.

“You know, since we’re moving kind of fast in some areas and going backwards in others... I mean, it seems to me that everyone thought we should be dating each other.”  
“Oh?”

“Olivia told me ages ago that she ships me with you, and I finally looked up what she meant by shipping us, and now I finally understand some of the weird things she’s said... and as I’m babbling on about that, I realize I’ve forgotten what I was originally saying,” Hunnigan trailed off and Helena burst out laughing before leaning over Hunnigan and kissing her.

She hummed approvingly into the kiss and deepened it, wrapping her arms around Helena’s shoulders and tugged on her a little until Helena gave into it and moved to lie ontop of Hunnigan, resting her weight on her arms. Hunnigan slipped her hands underneath Helena’s shirt and flattened her palms against the warm, smooth skin, letting her hands travel up along Helena’s back, relishing the feel of solid muscle alternating with feminine softness on the path. She raked her fingernails across Helena’s shoulder blades, the movement coming to a sudden stop when Hunnigan felt the raised scar tissue on the skin.

Hunnigan broke the kiss slowly, buried her face into Helena’s neck and wrapped her arms around Helena’s midsection, tightening her grip on the younger woman.

“Is everything okay?” Helena asked softly and nuzzled Hunnigan’s cheek gently.  
“Yes, it’s just... this,” Hunnigan mumbled and ran her hand over the scar once more to silently explain what had caused the drastic change in her mood.

“Don’t tell me you’re blaming yourself because of that.”  
“How could I not? You literally took a bullet for me.”

“And I’d do it again in a heartbeat, but you didn’t pull the trigger, you didn’t do anything to set that in motion, Ryan did. So, try to let it go, okay?” Helena assured in a whisper.  
“No promises...”

“Hunnigan...”  
“It’s not that easy. You know it.”

“I do... believe me, I do... but don’t stop trying,” Helena said and silenced the other woman’s arguments with a gentle kiss, allowing her tongue to softly glide over Hunnigan’s lower lip.  
“I just remembered what it was that I was about to say earlier,” Hunnigan suddenly mumbled into the kiss.

“Mm-hmm?” Helena hummed, planted one more hard and deep kiss onto Hunnigan’s mouth and then reluctantly pulled back a little, “Which was what?”  
“I wanted to tell you that you’re more than welcome to come over to my parents’ for Thanksgiving.”

“Shouldn’t you ask them first?”  
“Oh, please, as I recall, they were more or less convinced that we were ‘lesbianing’ together already long before we actually were, I doubt they’d be surprised to see you.”

***


	17. Little big sisters

Helena had been expecting to receive the third degree regarding her intentions from Hunnigan’s parents, but instead she found herself being questionied by Lucy. Hunnigan told her that she could just ignore the teen if she didn’t feel like playing along, but truthfully, she didn’t mind. She spent most of the dinner telling Lucy practically everything about herself, at least the things that didn’t literally fall under the category of classified.

They’d moved onto dessert when the doorbell rang and Alix excused herself to answer it. She returned to the dining room with the guest; a woman who was probably in her thirties, had deep red hair and dark green eyes, not taller than average, but solidly built. She stopped in her tracks at the entrance to the dining room and crossed her arms over her abdomen. Helena followed her line of vision and noticed the way the redhead and Hunnigan regarded each other. This didn’t have the makings of a happy reunion.

“You should’ve told me that she was going to be here,” they both said to Alix, practically in unison.  
“Well, I didn’t for obvious reasons,” Alix commented and grabbed the redhead’s arm before she could turn on her heel and leave.

“Play nice, girls, for God’s sake, it’s just one dinner,” she sighed and shoved the redhead into the empty chair at the table.  
“Please, neither one of us has been a girl in two decades,” she scoffed and reluctantly accepted her fate and took a seat.

“Really? Because from where I’m looking at it, neither one of you behaves like an adult,” Alix countered.

“Don’t look at me, she..!” Hunnigan began to say.  
“She started it? Sounding more and more like adults,” Alix snickered.

“Well, excuse me for lacking Christ-like compassion.”  
“That’s the level of compassion I’d need to forgive you for killing Liam,” the redhead muttered.

“Nina!” Alix scoffed and gave her a disapproving look. The conversation didn’t have a chance to escalate further; in a matter of seconds Lucy got up on her chair and launched herself across the table, tackling the woman to the floor and dragging most of the plates and glasses on the table with them.

“Lucy!” Hunnigan yelped and got up as well, hurrying to wrap her arms around the girl’s waist and pulled the kicking and screaming teenager away from Nina.  
“Nice. Real nice!” the redhead growled as she slowly stood up and rubbed the sore spot on the back of her head.

Lucy was about to lunge at her again when Hunnigan grabbed her arm and yanked her back, turning them both around and exited the dining room, hoping that putting some distance between them all would help cool the situation off.

“Well... this is actually going better than last year,” Lance finally spoke up and ushered the family dog out from the room before she’d step into  broken glass.

“Uhm... I think I’ll go check up on them,” Helena muttered, still trying to catch up on what had just happened.  
“I don’t think it’s a good idea right now. How about you grab a beer and go watch the game with Lance, Nina and I will clean this up,” Alix suggested.

“I can help to...”  
“Nonsense, you’re a guest. Please,” Alix dismissed with a chuckle and before Helena had a chance to argue further, Lance handed her a beer and nudged her toward the living room.

“Ah, sorry about that,” Lance then sighed as he took a seat on the couch.  
“Don’t be, I just... did not see that coming, that was pretty intense,” Helena laughed awkwardly and took a sip of her beer. Shepard came to sit next to Helena and leaned to rest her muzzle on the woman’s thigh, glancing up at her expectantly. Helena smiled a little and softly ran her hand over the dog’s head, pausing to gently scratch behind her ears.

“Yeah, all our girls are intense, they get it from their mother,” Lance joked and Helena had to laugh a little at his humor.

“Nina is Liam’s biological sister and obviously she never forgave Ingrid for the accident,” Lance then explained the hostility between the two of them and Helena nodded a little.

“And I take it Lucy sides with Hun... Ingrid on this one?” she inquired, having to pause and correct herself in the middle of the sentence; she didn’t think she’d ever called Hunnigan by her first name before. It didn’t feel natural somehow.

“Oh, Lucy would follow Ingrid to hell with a smile. I guess you could say she’s kind of imprinted on her, like a little baby duckling, because Ingrid is the only person in the family who really gets her, sometimes it’s like they speak a foreign language when they get started on all that techno-babble about their computers and gadgets,” Lance chuckled.

“Yeah, I know how that feels,” Helena smiled and nodded recalling how she’d ever barely had a clue of what had actually been said when Olivia and Hunnigan had excitedly discussed something in the language of “techno-babble”.

“Do you have any siblings?” Lance then asked and Helena cleared her throat a little.  
“I had a younger sister, but she passed away recently. A freak accident, she... fell,” Helena explained awkwardly. Well, it wasn’t exactly a lie.

“That’s terrible. I’m sorry,” Lance said softly and Helena could easily tell the man was being sincere.  
“Thank you. Yeah, it’s... been rough, we were close, but I’m getting better at living with the fact that she’s gone. And Ingrid’s been there for me in a big way, I couldn’t have done any of this without her,” Helena then said.

Hell, if it weren’t for Hunnigan’s efforts, Helena was certain she’d be in death row, waiting for a lethal injection for committing treason. Then again, if she was honest, at one point, that had suited her just fine. It had practically been her plan, government assisted suicide, she’d playfully called it. She’d been calm about it, she’d made her decision; after avenging Deborah’s death, she’d be done with everything and wouldn’t have to worry about having to live with survivor’s guilt.

When she’d been reinstated rather than arrested and charged with treason, she’d had to rethink her entire future. For a long while, things had continued to go from bad to worse for her in her personal life. She’d gone down the obvious road of binge-drinking and isolating herself for a week or two, which in return had not done her any favors as far as figuring out her relationship with Ryan had gone. Then she’d tried picking herself up and dusting herself off... but it had been difficult when she’d also had to worry about trying to constantly reassure another person of the fact that had not stopped caring (when in reality, Helena hadn’t been able to say whether she had or not). She’d had no shoulder to cry on because the shoulder was crying more than she was.

Then Hunnigan had come along and that had changed. It was one gloriously perfect coincidence. Helena didn’t want to speculate how bad things could’ve gotten if even one small detail would’ve been different. She was willing to admit things hadn’t been easy this way either, but all the alternatives she considered were much worse. She’d rather go through all this again than try another reality in which Hunnigan didn’t tag along for the mission and end up befriending Helena.

“I’m happy you two found each other. Ingrid would never admit it or agree with me, but she does need someone to watch over her, just like everyone else, despite her lone wolf-act.”  
“Don’t underestimate her love for solitude,” Helena chuckled.

“Believe me, I know she does ‘alone’ better than anyone, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t better off with someone who cares about her,” Lance smiled.  
“For the record, not only do I care about her, I love her,” Helena then said seriously and Lance nodded.

“And that’s all I need to know,” he said, clinked his beer bottle against Helena’s and took a long sip to toast the young woman’s statement.

* * *

While Alix continued trying to broker peace between Hunnigan and Nina, Helena decided to take a moment to have a cigarette. Only, when she went through her pockets, she couldn’t find the pack.

_Must’ve left it in the car,_ she mused and headed outside. She’d spent a moment rummaging through the places where she would’ve usually left the pack when she noticed the thin cloud of smoke emanating from behind the corner of the house. Frowning, she went over.

“For Christ’s sakes, kid, if you’re gonna steal my smokes, at least have the decency to hide properly while you smoke them,” she scoffed and snatched the cigarette from Lucy.

“I also stole your lighter and twenty bucks from your wallet,” Lucy came clean without an ounce of remorse in her voice, she was merely stating facts as she dug into her pocket and gave back the twenty dollar bill and the Zippo. Helena was about to comment, but the girl’s audacity literally left her speechless.

“Are you gonna tell James?”  
“Who’s James?” Helena frowned.

“Ingrid,” Lucy elaborated and Helena could tell from her tone of voice that she would’ve wanted to add “obviously, you jackass” to the end of the sentence, but managed to restrain herself, barely.  
“Right!” Helena realized, “I don’t know, would telling her encourage you to refrain from stealing my stuff in the future?”

“If anything, me stealing your stuff should encourage you to pay closer attention to your belongings,” Lucy dodged the question.  
“Why did you even steal and then just give everything back?” Helena quirked an eyebrow.

“Because you caught me. Sooner or later you would’ve noticed the other things missing too and come to the obvious conclusion that I took those as well. But, mostly I just wanted to see if I could steal from you without you noticing.”

“Well, you did, so congratulations...”

“Aren’t you supposed to be some kind of a badass secret agent? How do you not notice someone picking your pockets?” Lucy questioned and Helena narrowed her eyes at the teen.  
“I don’t generally deal with pickpockets, I deal with... national security. That doesn’t involve much training on the subject of petty thieves.”

“I could’ve also stolen your car keys but that seemed like overkill, especially since joyriding wasn’t really even an option,” Lucy shrugged and Helena scoffed. While the girl was as unapologetic as a cat strutting away from a broken vase, at least she was honest about it.

“So, you stole from me to what, test me?”  
“Yeah, and for the record, you failed, miserably. Your situational awareness is a joke.”

“Wow, harsh!” Helena gasped and flattened her palm against her chest to physically emphasize and exaggerate the hurt.  
“Maybe, but based on what I’ve seen, I don’t trust you to protect James,” Lucy continued in her flat tone.

“Protect her from what?” Helena asked.  
“From anything and anyone if the situation calls for it,” Lucy said, staring at Helena and she could tell that the young redhead was serious about this and about the duty of a bodyguard she’d taken upon herself, even when there were no obvious threats.

“You’re probably not gonna like hearing this, but you remind me of myself. I had a sister I literally did everything for. I even shot at a guy for her. He was an abusive jerk and at times I wish I had shot to kill. I know what it’s like to-”

“Okay, no, shut up, you don’t know anything. What you’ve been through and what you’ve done, I don’t care. I’m sure you must be good at something or James wouldn’t even look at you twice, but don’t you fucking dare stand there telling me you know anything about what it’s like to be me. Because you don’t,” Lucy interrupted her agitatedly.

“Fair enough,” Helena agreed quietly, “...but you can’t expect me to know anything if you don’t tell me about yourself.”  
“It makes no difference; don’t try to be my buddy just because you’re fucking my sister.”

“I’m not f..!”

“Whatever!” Lucy yelled over Helena’s argument, “My point is, if you ever do anything to hurt James, I will literally stab you in the gut and watch you bleed to death.”  
“I believe you,” Helena said sincerely and seriously.

“Good. Now, you gonna give me a drag of that cigarette or are you just gonna stand there?”

“I like you. I’m scared of you, but I like you,” Helena commented, took one more drag of her cigarette and then threw it to the ground before stepping on it to put it out and picked up the remains so that she could throw them into the trash rather than litter the Hunnigans’ backyard.

“Well, according to the army of shrinks I’ve been to during my life, I’m a bit of a psychopath... or whatever the politically correct term for it is nowadays, so yeah, you should be scared,” Lucy smirked and turned on her heel, heading toward the ladder leading to her room rather than entering the house through the front door. Helena let out an amused scoff as she watched her go and shook her head a little, unable to keep from smiling.

* * *

 

awesome art created by [RosieFiorelli ](http://rosiefiorelli.tumblr.com/)view in full size [here](http://rosiefiorelli.tumblr.com/post/178638840793/lucy-and-helena-from-defaultjanes-fic-i-just).

* * *

Hunnigan put away the leftovers her mother had insisted she takes with her and grabbed a beer for herself and Helena from the fridge after she was done.

“So... now you’ve officially met the family, that was, uhm...” she trailed off as she slumped onto the couch next to Helena and handed her the other beer bottle. She didn’t actually have anything to continue her sentence with, she was expecting Helena to pick up from where she left off.

“It was a family Thanksgiving during which people who don’t usually spend time together spent time together and were reminded of why they don’t usually spend time together,” Helena smirked and Hunnigan chuckled softly.

“I’m sorry it got so weird, I get where mom’s coming from trying to help make peace between Nina and I, but you know, the thing about coming from a family like ours, it means you _can_ choose your family and Nina obviously chooses to dismiss me as a family member. I don’t blame her, I understand why she feels the way she does even if I don’t agree with her,” Hunnigan said and drank from her beer.

“That wasn’t the weird part; for me it was when Lucy threatened to stab me in the gut if I didn’t protect you.”

“...that does sound like something she’d say,” Hunnigan commented slowly and took another long drink from her beer. She was beginning to feel the urge to summon Drunkerella and just let go; she’d spent the day and most of the evening drinking soda and water out of solidarity toward Helena, who had agreed to be her driver since she wasn’t about to drive herself. The option to spend the night had been there until Nina had turned up and it had become clear she would not be staying in the same house with Hunnigan... and since she’d flown in all the way from Atlanta, Hunnigan had agreed to go home. Frankly, she’d wanted to go home and be alone with Helena at the end of the day anyway, so she supposed she should be thankful to Nina for being able to do that without possibly hurting her parents’ feelings.

“I’m not sure I convinced her, but _you_ do know that I will protect you from anything?”  
“What makes you think I need protecting?” Hunnigan smirked and quirked an eyebrow.

“You know what I mean,” Helena said, smiling a little, agreeing that Hunnigan probably would’ve been fine on her own, but needing to know that _she_ knew Helena would do anything for her.  
“Listen...” Hunnigan said quietly and put her beer onto the coffee table before turning to face the other woman and cup her face with her hands.

“I have never felt as safe and as loved as I do when I’m with you,” she said, slipping her arms over Helena’s shoulders and leaning into her.  
“I would die for you any day.”

“Don’t say that.”  
“It’s the truth.”

“I believe that, but I don’t want to hear it, and I don’t want you to ever die for me. Frankly, I think we could both use a break from getting killed, wouldn’t you agree?” Hunnigan muttered.

“Okay, no more dying, for either one of us,” Helena chuckled. Hunnigan didn’t comment, she merely tightened her hold on Helena and rested her chin on Helena’s shoulder, closing her eyes and taking a moment to simply enjoy the embrace.

“Lucy also seems to be under the impression that I’m fucking you,” Helena then said and Hunnigan laughed softly, slowly beginning to pull back from the hug.  
“Frankly, everyone seems to be under that impression,” she smirked, grabbed her beer and leaned back on the couch then.

“Right?” Helena chuckled and shook her head, “Is it just me or is the world ridiculously sex-oriented?”  
“It’s the world, definitely,” Hunnigan nodded and drank from the bottle once more.

“...buuut since we’re on the subject, does it bother you that we haven’t..?” Helena trailed off somewhat awkwardly and followed Hunnigan’s lead, taking a long sip from her beer.

In all fairness, they hadn’t been officially a couple for very long yet, but Helena could imagine this might be something that should be discussed. She didn’t jump into bed with anyone lightly, not even after declaring genuine feelings for the other person, and she’d told as much to Olivia way back when, but she’d never discussed it with Hunnigan. The last thing she wanted was a repeat of all those conversations she’d had with Ryan about how the lack of physical intimacy did not equal lack of love.

“I guess I’m kind of old fashioned in that sense, which is why I haven’t initiated anything beyond kissing and cuddling, but I need you to know that it’s not like I don’t want to, because I do, I’m just... it’s difficult to explain, but I hope you haven’t felt... rejected or neglected or... anything like that because of it,” Helena tried elaborating awkwardly.

“I haven’t, and I don’t mind; I like it that we’re taking it slow. Well, ‘slow’ by what society’s standards seem to be at least,” Hunnigan chuckled.

“Okay, good,” Helena said, relieved, “I do want you, but I don’t want us to have sex just for the sake of doing it, you know? I want... I _need_ to feel that it’s the right time for it, and so...” she then trailed off, sighing deeply. Why was this so difficult to explain?

“I get it, and as I said, I like it this way because, frankly, the thought of sex kind of makes me nervous, so I’m glad you’re on the same page with me on the subject of waiting for it to just come naturally.”

“Why does it make you nervous?” Helena then frowned a little. She’d gotten to know Hunnigan well enough by now to know that it wasn’t about shyness; contrary to what one would imagine of Hunnigan when judging a book by its cover, she wasn’t a prude nor was she shy. It did take a while for her to get comfortable enough with another person to show them her personal side instead of just the aloof professional that she usually came across as, but once you got close enough, you learned she was capable of things like lewd innuendo if she felt it was a good moment for it, and that she wasn’t the type to blush if she ended up at the receiving end of it. If anything, she gave as good as she got. But right now, she did seem kind of nervous about something and Helena had to admit she was curious.

“I’ve never been with another woman. Sexually, I mean,” Hunnigan confessed awkwardly, speaking a bit faster than necessary, shrugging her shoulders a little before downing the rest of her beer in a long gulp.  
“You went to college, if you didn’t spend your time experimenting sexually and going to parties, what did you waste your time on?” Helena tried lightening the mood with a bad joke and fortunately, it seemed to work.

“Studying. Shocking, I know, it’s my secret shame,” Hunnigan played along.  
“Yeah, you should be ashamed, you weirdo,” Helena taunted and Hunnigan chuckled.

“But, seriously, the reason I’m nervous is because... well, with men, spreading my legs was pretty much all I needed to do; I have no idea how to please a woman... which, I suppose, sounds kind of weird since I’m a woman myself, and familiar with the female anatomy, but...”

“Yeah, but that’s just it; every person is different, sex isn’t a one size fits all-type of a skill you can master. I’ve been with women, but I haven’t been with you, I don’t know what you’d like, so we’re kind of in the same boat when you think about it.”

“I guess in a way we are, but I just don’t want to end up ruining the moment by not knowing what I’m doing,” Hunnigan smirked.  
“I think it’s kind of sweet of you to worry, but there really is no need. You don’t have to know what you’re doing, and how could you? How could I? It’s new to both of us with each other, so while I do think some elements of it will just happen naturally, we have to just take our time to learn each other. For me, that’s almost most of the fun anyway,” Helena said, letting her voice drop to a husky murmur.

“I love you. And I love your old fashioned-streak and I love how understanding you are. I love everything about you. Well, except your penchant for using my toothbrush...”  
“It only happened once and only because I was desperate!” Helena sighed in mock exasperation and Hunnigan chuckled.

“All joking aside... I love you too. With my whole heart,” Helena then said seriously and took Hunnigan’s hands into her own, turning to sit sideways on the couch and leaned her forehead against Hunnigan’s.  
“What do you say we call it a night and go to bed and cuddle and make out until we fall asleep?” she then suggested with a grin.

“Was about time you asked,” Hunnigan smiled.

* * *

One of the many abandoned houses in Westport, Baltimore had quietly come to host life recently. It wasn’t much, just one badly injured woman who spent most of her time resting, waiting to heal from all the blood loss and fractured bones. For a while, she’d had company, a vial containing a parasite, but the creature had died before she’d had a chance to use it.

She was angry at herself for not taking a chance on it. Even if it hadn’t been the stable, master plaga she’d been looking for, it could’ve at the very least hastened her recovery. But, it was too late now, no point in crying over spilled milk. It didn’t matter, she wouldn’t need the plaga, she could do this on her own. For a while there, the only thing that had kept her alive had been her passionate hatred toward the people responsible for her injuries. It was personal now. She still had things to do.

“One, two, Jenny’s coming for you,” she hummed weakly as she undid the bloody bandages around her torso. They were starting to reek. She was beginning to believe she was rotting inside. Funny, nothing hurt, not really. Shouldn’t it have?

“Three, four, better lock your door,” she continued and wrapped a fresh layer of gauze around the wounds in her abdomen. They were deep and had the red shade of infected flesh. She reluctantly had to admit she’d be needing something a bit more potent than garlic to fight off the infection.

“Five... six...” she grunted as she pulled on a hoody and covered her head to hide the wounded side of her face and the stitches she’d sewn on herself. Considering the circumstances, she felt she’d done a pretty good job, but it was quite noticeable and she’d prefer it if people didn’t pay her any unnecessary attention while she went “shopping” for antibiotics.

“...actually, no, forget the crucifix, even God can’t save you when I get to you,” she smiled.

***


	18. Undercurrent

* * *

The art featured in this chapter was created by none other than the astonishing **[Fishbone76](http://fishbone76.tumblr.com/)** , check it out in full-size at her[ **DeviantArt-gallery!**](http://fishbone76.deviantart.com/)

* * *

 

“Okay, what is this, what’s happening, what’s going on here?” Olivia demanded, her eyes narrowing suspiciously as she stared at Hunnigan, as she had been doing for the past fifteen minutes or so.  
“You’re going to need to elaborate,” Hunnigan scoffed amusedly, having been fully aware of the other woman’s stare the whole time, but chosen to ignore it.

“You got laid.”  
“Ahaha, nope,” Hunnigan laughed and shook her head.

“Well, something happened! I can tell.”  
“How? Just, how can you tell?” Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow.

“You’re actually smiling! That’s how.”  
“And that’s somehow unheard of?”

“Well, yes,” Olivia smirked and Hunnigan chuckled.  
“Let’s just say that I’m finally understanding what you were saying a couple of months ago regarding Helena and I,” she said then.

“Oh, my God!” Olivia exclaimed and almost climbed over her desk to get closer to Hunnigan to be able to quietly interrogate her, “So? Tell me!”  
“There’s nothing to tell, just that recently Helena and I decided to be in a romantic relationship with each other,” Hunnigan shrugged innocently.

“And?”  
“And, then she pounded me like a piece of meat that needed to be tenderized,” Hunnigan commented sarcastically and rolled her eyes,  “What do you mean ‘and’? Nothing! Besides, it’s private either way.”

“Are you fucking kidding me! I’ve been trying to get you two to realize you should be dating each other since day one, and this is all you give me after your revelation?” Olivia questioned, beginning to get genuinely annoyed.  
“Well, I can tell you that you were right about one thing for sure.”

“Which is?”  
“That Helena’s an amazing kisser. And that’s all I’ve got to say about that,” Hunnigan said.

“Pics or it didn’t happen,” Olivia muttered, but Hunnigan ignored it, turning her attention to Leon who walked over and knocked on the door frame softly.

“Hunnigan, can I have a word?” he asked and she nodded.

“Yeah, don’t mind me,” Olivia called out after them, admittedly a bit miffed that she wasn’t allowed in on the conversation as the two agents moved to the kitchenette and Hunnigan poured them coffee. It had been sitting there for over half an hour, but she wasn’t in the mood to make a fresh pot; in this line of work, stale coffee was something one got used to whether they liked it or not.

Once upon a time she’d told herself that since she allowed herself only one or two cups a day (because of her heart condition), she’d want those couple of cups to be a damn fine cups of coffee. Over the years, she’d more or less forgotten her rule and microwaving coffee that had been sitting in the pot for an hour had stopped feeling like such a low point in her day.

 _Now, that’s kind of depressing,_ she mused when she realized that.

“What’s wrong?” she inquired then, having easily noticed Leon’s mood and that something serious was on his mind.  
“Nothing’s wrong, there’s just something important I need to tell you.”

“Go on...” Hunnigan mumbled into her mug before taking a sip, not sure if she really wanted to hear it.  
“Claire’s pregnant,” Leon said and Hunnigan almost spat her coffee out at the news.

“...congratulations... or..?” she trailed off slowly after managing to swallow.

“No, yeah, definitely,” he chuckled, “I mean, we didn’t plan it, but after the initial shock, we’re both actually pretty excited,” he added.  
“That’s wonderful news, Leon,” Hunnigan smiled, “When’s the baby due?”

“Probably before the end of the year.”  
“That soon?” Hunnigan’s eyebrows rose in surprise, “I saw Claire at the Halloween party, she didn’t look pregnant at all.”

“Yeah, she’s managed to keep it very well hidden, I don’t think anyone’s noticed... or then they’ve been too polite to ask,” Leon grinned. If he was honest, he was one of those people himself.  
“So, was there a particular reason you wanted me to know about it?” Hunnigan then asked.

“Yes, because this changes everything, I can’t just run off to fight monsters like I used to, even if I wanted to... which, I don’t really anymore because it never ends,” Leon sighed and Hunnigan nodded slowly.  
“And, I’ve kind of been wanting to try my hand at this ‘normal life’-thing while I still have a few parts of me left that haven’t been shot or broken,” he then grinned and Hunnigan chuckled softly.

“So, what you’re saying is you’re retiring,” she summarized.  
“Yes. I’d want to lead a life which doesn’t involve family and friends being at risk of getting abducted or murdered... I can’t feel responsible for saving the world alone in a day anymore, I have different responsibilities now and I want to do right by Claire and the baby. I don’t want to be gone for most of my child’s life, you know?”

“Leon, you don’t have to convince me, I’m not trying to talk you out of retiring,” Hunnigan assured gently.  
“I guess I’m still kind of trying to convince myself.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re making the right decision. I admit, I’ve begun considering retiring myself after everything that’s happened recently.”  
“What’s stopping you?” Leon asked and sipped his coffee.

“I don’t think I’d know how to do anything else. Not sure if it’s a good thing,” Hunnigan chuckled.  
“Yeah, I get that.”

“What are you going to do in the future?” she then asked.  
“I haven’t decided. Maybe go back to doing what I suppose I’d be doing now if I hadn’t ended up in Raccoon City that day.”

“Be a cop?”  
“Yeah, why not?” Leon shrugged.

“I don’t know, somehow I just can’t imagine you writing speeding tickets for a living,” Hunnigan smiled.  
“Truth be told, I can’t really either. Then again, I couldn’t imagine myself as a father until a couple of months ago, but that’s happening, so who knows how it will turn out.”

“I’d miss having you around.”  
“I’d pull you over every once in a while,” Leon laughed softly.

“Just one problem with that; I don’t drive,” Hunnigan grinned.  
“Then jaywalk.”

“Or, how about instead of that, you retire from field duty and stay onboard as a trainer? You have a lot you could teach, and you know we need more capable field agents, once you retire, we’ll be left with Helena, Sherry, and maybe three others.”

“Oh, come on, there’s more agents and they’re not that bad.”

“They’re not bad, but they’re rookies who got transferred to us too soon and without any proper training just because we needed to have a certain number of agents on our payroll, I don’t need to tell you how severely understaffed we are, even after borrowing agents from other branches.”

“Yeah, and no other branch really trains you for the crap we deal with.”  
“Exactly, so we definitely need a trainer. What do you say?”

“I’m your man,” he chuckled.  
“All right, then it’s settled. Happy retirement, agent Kennedy,” Hunnigan said and clinked her coffee mug against his to toast.

“Thanks,” he smiled.  
“I’ll get started on the paperwork and start the process of internally recruiting someone to take your position.”

“I know you’ll have to put the job up openly for anyone interested to apply for it, but I think Helena should get it.”  
“Helena? Why?” Hunnigan asked somewhat awkwardly and Leon shrugged one shoulder.

“I’m kind of surprised you’re even questioning it,” he teased a little, knowing perfectly well Hunnigan was the one who’d done everything in her power to recruit Helena for the D.S.O. in the first place.

“Well, I’m the first to agree that her record is impressive despite her indiscretions, but she hasn’t been at the agency for very long, I’m not sure giving her the position of a lead field agent would go down very well among anyone else who might want the job,” Hunnigan explained and Leon nodded slowly.

“True, and I imagine you have to consider how your input might seem biased because of your... personal relationship with her,” he trailed off softly and offered a lopsided grin.

Hunnigan sighed a little. She _had_ known it would come up eventually if she and Helena were open about their relationship at the agency... not that their opinion regarding keeping it a secret seemed to matter; apparently everyone just knew even before they’d even known themselves.

“You know me better than that, my personal relationships don’t affect my professional decisions.”  
“No? What about when you took it upon yourself to aid suspected domestic terrorists... namely, Helena and I, when we needed to chase Simmons to China?”

“Why are you being a jerk?” Hunnigan frowned and put her empty coffee mug away before leaning into the kitchen counter and crossing her arms over her abdomen. Leon chuckled ruefully and shook his head a little.  
“I’m not trying to be a jerk, I’m just saying the things everyone else might eventually say if they would decide to start questioning your integrity.”

“I’d like to see them try,” Hunnigan scoffed in exaggerated confidence and he laughed with her then.

She had no illusions of being untouchable, she’d known that if everything regarding the President’s death and the aftermath of it would go tits up, she too would’ve been charged with conspiracy to commit treason at the very least. And Leon was right, she had let her personal feelings influence her judgment when she’d made the decision to submit a false report stating that agents Kennedy and Harper had been killed in action at Tall Oaks.

But, that was because she trusted Leon more than she ever had trusted Simmons, even with practically no intel, she’d had no reason to take Simmons’s word over Leon’s. If there’d ever been a man who’d given her the creeps, it had been Simmons. The man had been a living version of a Disney-villain... or, as it har turned out, even worse, an actual villain.

So far, no one had given Hunnigan any grief over her actions during those events; maybe they’d decided to look the other way because the ends really had justified the means... or maybe they’d considered it a genuine mistake, a lot of agents had lost their lives that day, maybe she’d added Kennedy and Harper on the list after not hearing back from them. Whatever the excuse, no one’d had any reason to question it because they hadn’t had a personal stake in the outcome either way.

However, people’s tunes changed in a heartbeat when they became aware of being able to gain or lose something personally. In this case that would manifest as them questioning Hunnigan’s decision to nominate Helena for Leon’s job... regardless of the fact that Helena was just as qualified to apply for it as anyone else, even more so than some despite their extensive experience.

“Look, I appreciate your concern and your input, but let’s not talk about it like it’s my decision to make alone, I can only offer my opinion and make a nomination,” Hunnigan then said.  
“You’re right,” Leon agreed and glanced at his watch, “That said, I’m still supposed to be working here, so I should get going.”

“Good idea. But, Leon, one question.”  
“Yeah?”

“Why Helena? Why not Sherry or any other agent?”  
“Are you asking because of professional reasons or are you just curious?” he teased a little and she shrugged.

“Both, I’m sure I’ll be quoting your statement if I choose to put in a good word for Helena,” she responded, almost letting it slip and saying “when” rather than putting up a facade of there being any question of who she’d nominate.

“I’d choose Helena because I think that she genuinely is tough enough for this job. I’ve seen her take a beating, figuratively and literally, and she’s still fighting. That’s the kind of bravery, stubbornness and reckless stupidity you need to do this job well,” Leon smiled.

* * *

Hunnigan stopped in her tracks after entering her apartment and frowned deeply, her nose crinkling a little as she sniffed the air. Sighing, she put her keys into the bowl by the door and kicked her shoes off.

“Helena?” she called out, crossing over to the living room and placing her laptop bag onto the chair by her desk.  
“Out here!” Helena responded and Hunnigan went to the back of the living room and peeked out to the fire escape where Helena was smoking.

“I wish you’d just quit before Mrs. Brody comes to make a complaint about how the smoke floats to her apartment.”  
“She should close her window if it bothers her, that nutty broad, it’s not like I need more than five minutes to finish a cigarette, she could open it again after,” Helena scoffed quietly, exhaling the smoke as she spoke.

“Besides, you’ve seen how bad tempered I am as it is and you want to risk making it worse by having me go through nicotine withdrawal? Think it through...” she then grinned, reached to put the cigarette out in an old pickle jar she’d filled with water and was using as her ashtray, and climbed back inside.

“And, I only smoke like five or six a day, it’s not _that_ bad,” she continued defending her bad habit.  
“Well, I suppose you have to have some flaws, you’d be too perfect otherwise,” Hunnigan agreed with a smirk.

“You think I’m perfect?” Helena beamed after closing the window behind her.  
“You have your moments,” Hunnigan winked and took off her jacket, sighing heavily as she tossed it onto the couch.

“Are you hungry? Helena asked.

“Yes, I haven’t had a chance to eat all day,” Hunnigan groaned. Thanks to Leon’s news, Hunnigan had spent the day going over paperwork with deputy director Kosmin until six P.M.. He was a good man with genuinely good intentions, but he was also utterly confused about almost everything. He took an interest, but the truth was, he was there mainly to sign papers and forward Hunnigan’s reports to the higher ups and the politicians who made the executive decisions based on what he’d sent them... or, more accurately, based on what Hunnigan had sent to them through Kosmin.

 _Behind every great man..._ Hunnigan had mused more than once during the day, but she couldn’t blame him for being out of it and she did not envy his job. He’d been at the agency since June, appointed practically out of the blue while the government had scrambled to get back on its feet after what had happened in Tall Oaks. While he did have an impressive record, the D.S.O. was something _quite_ different from the other agencies he’d worked at.

Still, however exhausting trying to debrief Kosmin could be, Hunnigan was happy that he showed genuine interest in figuring it out and learning the ropes that came with taking responsibility for an agency such as the D.S.O..

“How about you go take a shower and I’ll make us some spaghetti and a super delicous mozzarella sauce?” Helena suggested and went to hug Hunnigan from behind, “I mean, I know you’re the better cook, but sounds like you’ve had a long day as it is,” she then said and nuzzled the side of Hunnigan’s neck.

“That sounds perfect,” Hunnigan smiled, leaning into the hug and tilting her head to the side, offering Helena more of her neck. The younger woman eagerly accepted the invitation and moved to plant a series of gentle kisses on Hunnigan’s skin while bringing her hands up to the front and slowly beginning to undo the buttons of Hunnigan’s shirt. Once they were undone, Hunnigan turned around to face Helena, slipped her arms over Helena’s shoulders and kissed her lips deeply.

“I love you.”  
“I love you too,” Helena smiled into the kiss before slowly breaking it then, “Now, get going.”

“Yes, yes, you take care of this,” Hunnigan said, shrugged off her shirt and threw it to Helena before turning to head upstairs.

“Heads up, here’s one more,” she added once she was at the bottom of the stairs, facing away from Helena, and tossed her bra over her shoulder to the younger woman. Helena chuckled, mentally shook herself and went to put the clothes into the washing machine before getting started on dinner.

Helena admitted that she wouldn’t have minded a full frontal view, but then again, she quite enjoyed the little teasing here and there. As almost always, the chase was at the very least just as exciting as the eventual catch would be, Helena mused as she mixed tomato puree into the olive oil, garlic and onion she’d had in the pan for a few minutes. She brought it to boil and then let it simmer while she went to get the butter and cream.

Occasionally, Helena did wonder if she could consider herself an asexual, or some other term similar to that, she’d lost track of all the different terms there were nowadays. She couldn’t recall ever getting the whole “I’d bang her in an instant”-feeling whenever she’d seen someone she’d considered interesting and attractive. Frankly, she’d never felt the urge to just jump into bed with anyone. Falling in love with someone changed that somewhat, she developed a want, but it was never an urge, she could easily live without it, which didn’t seem to be how others felt about sex.

 _Then again, I probably shouldn’t compare myself to Olivia,_ she chuckled silently when she thought back on the time Olivia had in all sincerity complained about the fact that she’d not had sex in over twenty hours.

“Perfect timing!” Helena smiled to Hunnigan as the tall woman came back downstairs with a towel wrapped around her body.  
“I was hoping to hear that,” she said and went to grab them some plates while Helena seasoned the sauce with salt and pepper before putting mozzarella into it and leaving it to melt while she drained the spaghetti. Once they’d plated the food, Hunnigan immediately retreated into the living room, slumped onto the couch and balanced the plate on her knees.

“So, that’s how it’s going to be?” Helena smirked, quirking an eyebrow as Hunnigan switched the TV on.  
“I don’t do ‘fancy and formal’ at home, get used to it, and don’t you judge me,” Hunnigan responded before eagerly digging into her meal.

“I’ll have to take a picture of this for later so that I can blackmail you,” Helena teased and went to take a seat next to Hunnigan.  
“I fail to see the threat, I’m not the one who labeled me as prim and proper, everyone else did it for me,” Hunnigan laughed.

“It’s the power suits,” Helena grinned.  
“Then, the power of my suit compels you to not take any pictures.”

“You’re not wearing a suit.”  
“The suits’ power can compel you from the closet,” Hunnigan shrugged and Helena laughed heartily.

“I love this side of you.”  
“If you’re lucky, one day I’ll show you all my sides.”

Helena was about to comment when a familiar town’s name caught her and Hunnigan’s attention, and she turned the volume up. It was a small report that had made it into the broadcast mainly because it was such an odd crime; someone in Westport had robbed a pharmacy and only demanded antibiotics rather than cash or any of the drugs an addict would steal.

“Do you think it’s Jenova?” Helena inquired quietly and Hunnigan shrugged one shoulder a little.

“I don’t know, but what if it is?”  
“Then we go over there and find her.”

“We barely have enough field agents to carry out investigations regarding legitimate cases, we don’t have the resources to waste on a hunch,” Hunnigan shook her head.  
“Yeah... and if it is Jenova, I’m sure she’ll come to us,” Helena offered a rueful smirk.

“Well, she does know the way since she broke in here once before,” Hunnigan said nonchalantly, “but if she’s alive and dumb enough to come looking for a rematch at my doorstep, I’ll staple her tits to her feet and make her do sit-ups,” she then added in a low, threatening grumble.

“Oh, God, my tits hurt just hearing that!” Helena exclaimed, crossing her arms over her chest protectively.  
“I can’t take credit for that threat, I heard it from Lucy,” Hunnigan confessed then, finished her dinner and put the plate onto the coffee table, deciding taking it to the sink could wait.

“I bet she’ll be the most popular girl at a C.I.A. black site if she grows up to be an officer,” Helena chuckled.  
“I hate the idea of her as an officer, but you’re right, she would be really good at it,” Hunnigan mumbled then.

“Why do you hate it?” Helena frowned.  
“Because imagine if she actually had the authority to do what she wants and be allowed to get away with it. She doesn’t care what people think and likes to believe that the rules don’t apply to her.”

“I don’t know, she seemed actually worried about possibly disappointing you when I caught her stealing my smokes... and as I’m saying that, I realize I probably shouldn’t have told you that,” Helena trailed off and pursed her lips awkwardly as Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow.

“Just one more reason for you to quit.”  
“Or, how about you tell your scary sister to stop smoking _and_ stealing?” Helena countered and Hunnigan chuckled.

“Touché.”

“So... what’s her story? I didn’t dare to ask her, she didn’t seem like she wanted to make friends with me,” Helena then muttered.  
“Give her time, it takes a while for her to warm up. As for her story, well... as she’d put it, she didn’t have parents, she had owners.”

“I don’t know what that means.”  
“Her parents sold her to a ring of human traffickers who brought her here when she was three and from there on, she was passed around to the highest bidder until the Feds found her during a raid when she was nine.”

“Oh, God... I mean, it’s not like I didn’t know things like that really happen, but it’s...”  
“You don’t see it until it’s right there, I know how it is,” Hunnigan nodded slowly.

“So, how did she end up with you guys?”  
“Well... I have this hobby of obtaining rather sensitive information online, and sometimes it leads me to a trail of pedophiles and other such shady characters, and I’m not shy about forwarding the intel over to the police or the F.B.I.. They can’t use what they’ve gotten from me as evidence in court since it was illegally obtained, but it’s usually enough to pique their interest and start their own investigation.”

“Now I’m imagining you wearing a Guy Fawkes-mask and hacking into places,” Helena quirked an eyebrow and Hunnigan chuckled.

* * *

 

  
view in full-size **[here](http://fishbone76.deviantart.com/art/Hunnigan-close-up-343808041)**

* * *

 

“You’re not far off, except that the hacker kids who do that and think they’re doing everyone favors tend to just make things worse. They’re not blowing conspiracies open, they’re risking lives when they reveal assets’ and agents’ identities and locations, and that’s just stupid and useless,” Hunnigan grumbled and Helena had to agree.

“So, instead of wasting my time with nonsense like that, I look for things like big companies that basically import slaves under the guise of helping needy people. Sometimes it’s nothing, sometimes I can help prove that there are people out there financing and benefiting from human trafficking rings overseas.”

“And that’s how you stumbled into Lucy?”

“Sort of. Actually, the person doing the stumbling, literally, was an F.B.I. agent I used to relay my intel to, and he tripped over Lucy when he and his team raided a ‘company party’... or, as it really was, a party of people getting high and... doing vile things to those who weren’t in a position to defend themselves,” Hunnigan trailed off, the muscles in her jaw clenching as she ground her teeth together angrily. Helena didn’t ask for details, she didn’t need them nor did she really want them.

“Lucy was the only kid in the group which is why she caught my attention. I mean, it’s horrible when it happens to anyone, but it’s even worse when it’s a kid.”  
“It is,” Helena agreed quietly.

“So, then the usual legal processes began and when it was all said and done, my parents adopted her after I’d told them about her.”  
“Why didn’t you adopt her?”

“Hah,” Hunnigan laughed ruefully, “I love her dearly, but I wouldn’t want to be legally responsible for her. Besides, I don’t think I would’ve been allowed to adopt her even if I’d tried; when it comes to offering a stable home environment for a kid, I leave a lot to be desired.”

“Which isn’t even really true, if the system cared half as much as they pretend to when they just want to complicate things, we wouldn’t be dealing with issues like terrible foster homes,” Helena mumbled and shuddered internally at the mere thought of her personal experience of living in a house where she and her sister were basically considered free labor.

 _At least we weren’t sexually abused, that’s something,_ she then thought, having to admit that in a way, they’d gotten lucky.

“Being understaffed and underfunded doesn’t help either.”  
“Excuses,” Helena scoffed.

“Well, either way... that’s how Lucy ended up in our lives. It took a long while for her to trust anyone, especially my dad because, you know, he’s a man. Lucy ended spending a lot of time with me because she was basically hiding from my parents. I guess I didn’t look as grown-up a few years ago and she figured I was the safest person to hang around,” Hunnigan chuckled a little and sighed deeply. Helena smiled at the mental image of the now so tough and cold teenager hiding in her sister’s room as a child. It was kind of hard to imagine based on the Lucy she’d met.

“I taught her to read and write, and then I introduced her to video games and other nerdy-stuff I like, and we became, well, sisters,” Hunnigan then summarized.  
“I’m glad you found her,” Helena said softly.

“I am too... but still, she was just one of God only knows how many. Ten of thousands, hundreds of thousands... millions? These things happen all the time. I’ve seen horrible things, and that’s saying something considering I’ve witnessed zombie outbreaks and watched colleagues get hurt or killed in terrible ways...”

“Hunnigan...” Helena said, mostly just to say something, she didn’t know how to ease this particular pain or if there was even a way to ease it. She reached to put her hand over Hunnigan’s forearm and gripped it gently, giving a reassuring squeeze. Hunnigan put her hand over Helena’s and responded to the squeeze, acknowledging it and nodding her head a little before speaking again.

“...and even with all that, the one thing that makes me feel so angry and so powerless is knowing that even after everything I try to do to fix it, right at this moment, out there somewhere is a three year old being abused and brainwashed into thinking it’s play,” Hunnigan muttered agitatedly and shook her head, sighing heavily.

“I know, but you can’t fix everything single-handedly, you’ll go crazy if you try. You’re making a difference with the resources you have, that’s more than what a lot of people do, others would rather look away and pretend it doesn’t happen.”

“I try, but it’s not enough. People are being abducted and sold, or... used as guinea pigs by groups like The Family... I don’t need to tell you.”

“No, you dont,” Helena whispered. She knew that what had happened to Deborah wasn’t anywhere near as unusual as it should’ve been. People went missing on a daily basis and were rarely seen again. The ease with which it happened was terrifying... but like so many others, Helena hadn’t thought about it until it had affected her personally; as long as it was a stranger that went missing, they were just a name on a long list of others like them.

“I know these things happen, but I can’t think about it all the time because if I did, it would just consume me and render me useless. I’m aware that no matter how hard we fight, we barely make a dent in all the shit that’s wrong with this world... but we’re doing everything we can, we _are_ making a difference. Even if it seems hopeless at times, we fight to make the world a better place, and whatever good we manage to do is always better than just looking away or accepting that bad things happen and doing nothing to even try changing it,” Helena then reasoned gently, leaning her side to Hunnigan’s.

“You’re right, but sometimes it all just makes me so angry I find myself agreeing with nutjobs like Jenova who insist that the humankind could do with some serious culling.”

Helena couldn’t think of anything to say to that. If she was honest, she too had to agree with that, at least to some extent. Only, if it were up to her, she’d use more subtle and selective methods rather than randomly infect an entire city with a virus or go on a rampage to randomly kill people who, for all she knew, had never done anything to deserve it.

Instead of commenting, she put her arm around Hunnigan’s shoulders and leaned back on the couch, pulling Hunnigan with her and holding her close.

“Come on, let’s just... focus on living our lives for now and do what we can when the opportunity is there, because obsessing over bad things right now wouldn’t help anyone.”  
“You’re right,” Hunnigan agreed, sighing a little and moving to rest her head on Helena’s shoulder.

“Thanks for dinner,” she then said.  
“You’re welcome,” Helena smiled and kissed her forehead softly.

“I should probably get dressed,” Hunnigan then said and readjusted her towel a little.  
“No need, I think it’s only fair I get to see some skin, you’ve already seen me topless when you were helping me with my shoulder.”

“That was different,” Hunnigan pointed out, “I wasn’t paying attention to you in _that way_.”  
“No? I’m disappointed, I imagined my traffic stoppers would’ve been enough to distract even you,” Helena pouted and Hunnigan chuckled.

She put her arm around Helena’s midsection and held onto her tighter. She’d never met anyone who could’ve made her feel better even after the serious conversation they’d just had, not until Helena. The younger woman was proving to be quite an exception in almost every possible way. Hunnigan figured it was only a good thing.

“I’m actually kind of tired,” Hunnigan yawned, “I know it’s early, but I think I’ll just go to bed,” she said.  
“I’d be happy to join you after I’ve done the dishes,” Helena offered.

“That would be nice,” Hunnigan nodded and reluctantly left the embrace she’d been in, heading up the stairs then while Helena cleared the table.

Hunnigan let out a heavy sigh at the wonderful comfort she felt when she got in bed. She hadn’t realized how badly she’d needed to just lie down until now. She closed her eyes and hoped to drift to sleep, but couldn’t; she felt troubled. She had an uncomfortable feeling of something just not being right nagging at her.

_Jenova._

Hunnigan wished she could’ve said it was just her imagination, that she was being paranoid, that she was making a big deal out of a mere coincidence that didn’t really mean anything... but her gut insisted she was right about this. If there was one thing she’d learned it was that gut feelings shouldn’t be dismissed easily.

She was convinced Jenova was alive. Obviously, she was not exactly well, but she was well enough to rob a pharmacy, so it was only a matter of time. She had no reason to believe Jenova would not target her. If anything, Hunnigan was probably at the top of Jenova’s shitlist.

“Are you still thinking about Jenova?” Helena inquired quietly as she undressed by the bed and noticed the concerned expression on Hunnigan’s face.  
“I’m trying not to, but I am worried,” Hunnigan admitted and Helena got into bed.

“I get it, it’s hard not to think about something even if you try, but we’ll be okay. We’ll find her eventually and we’ll put an end to this mess,” she assured, got under the blanket (which Hunnigan had hogged already, as per usual) and scooted closer.

“Oh,” Helena then exclaimed softly when she put her arm around Hunnigan and realized the other woman was nude underneath the blanket. This was new.  
“You’re all warm and nice and soft,” she murmured quietly.

“Glad to hear you like it. Or, well, me,” Hunnigan chuckled.  
“I love you in a way I haven’t loved anyone before,” Helena said and leaned to kiss the back of Hunnigan’s neck, moving to spoon her.

“I love you more.”  
“I don’t believe in measuring love in quantities, I like to think that when I love someone, I love them all just as deeply.”

“You’re losing the crowd,” Hunnigan warned and Helena chuckled.  
“As I said, I love you differently, in a way that I’ve never done before.”

“Differently how?” Hunnigan asked and turned to face Helena, resting her hand on Helena’s hip.

“I can see myself doing everyday things with you, like just... folding laundry or going grocery shopping... growing old together, buying a house in Canada and sitting on the porch after retiring,” Helena explained and ran her hand up and down along Hunnigan’s arm, letting her fingernails rake across the smooth skin gently.

“Canada? Any particular reason why there?” Hunnigan asked and slipped her hand underneath Helena’s T-shirt, pushing the fabric up as she slid her hand on Helena’s back.  
“Not really, but I’ve never heard anyone say anything negative about Canada, so it must be a nice place,” Helena shrugged one shoulder and then cleared her throat a little when Hunnigan tugged on her shirt more.

“Mom would approve, she’s Canadian. She might also be able to tell you stories that will burst your bubble,” Hunnigan grinned.  
“Well, you know me, I’m old fashioned, so your parents’ approval would be something I’d love to have. I already have your dad’s, I think,” Helena smiled, sat up for a moment and pulled her shirt off then.

“Oh, really? How’d you get that?” Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow as Helena lay back down. She scooted closer, pressing her body to Helena’s, taking a moment to marvel at the feel of another woman’s chest pressed against her own. It was a new experience for her, she hadn’t expected to enjoy it quite this much.

“Just by being honest, I told him I love you and he said that’s all he needed to hear,” Helena stated matter-of-factly.  
“He must’ve adored that, he’s big softie, just like you are.”

“You say that almost like it’s a bad thing.”  
“It’s not, it’s really sweet. I just don’t know how to do it myself,” Hunnigan admitted.

“It’s okay, I’ll be soft, romantic and cheesy enough for the both of us,” Helena chuckled. Hunnigan didn’t comment; instead, she leaned in closer and pressed a gentle kiss onto Helena’s lips, tightening her hold on the younger woman, pressing against her more firmly, wanting to feel more of her skin against her own. Helena gladly gave into it.

Hunnigan nuzzled into Helena’s neck and closed her eyes, letting out a quiet, approving hum when Helena caressed her back with long, slow strokes. She kind of didn’t want to fall asleep now, but couldn’t fight it for much longer despite her efforts; Helena was so warm and soft, and the gentle caresses she administered with care were rendering Hunnigan’s attempts at resisting sleep useless, her worries slowly fading away and being replaced by comfort brought on by knowing she was safe and loved.

 

***


	19. Kiwi

* * *

 

**The art featured in this chapter is NSFW and was created by the wonderful artists[Oceanmyhope ](https://oceanmyhope.tumblr.com/)and [Fishbone76](http://fishbone76.tumblr.com/) (used with permission). Love, love, love them! :3**

* * *

 

 

Helena smiled sleepily, slowly beginning to wake under the gentle caresses of Hunnigan’s hand travelling up her side, sliding over to her abdomen and continuing back down before repeating the pattern. She turned to lie on her side, moving closer to Hunnigan and nuzzled into the taller woman’s neck, wrapping her arm around Hunnigan and reached to plant soft kisses up the side of her neck and to her jawline.

“Good morning,” Hunnigan smiled, turning to kiss Helena’s temple.  
“It is indeed,” the younger woman hummed quietly and captured Hunnigan’s lips into a deep, slow kiss.

“I just wish I didn’t have to get up and go to work,” she then mumbled into the kiss.  
“Oh, you don’t. I asked Sherry to cover your shift today.”

“...and you didn’t think to tell me?” Helena quirked an eyebrow.  
“I meant to, but I forgot, sorry.”

“Any particular reason you did it?”  
“Yes, you have an appointment with me later today,” Hunnigan explained and Helena frowned.

“You’re confusing me.”  
“Sorry,” Hunnigan chuckled and wrapped her arms around Helena, holding her close, “I actually wanted to talk to you about something work-related today and I figured we could do it over lunch.”

“Well, I’m here now, want to just tell me?”  
“I can’t. We have flexible hours, but official business can be discussed at seven in the morning the earliest, it’s only around five-thirty now,” Hunnigan smirked.

“...but if we talk shop in bed at seven, I can add those hours to my official work hours?” Helena grinned.  
“Well, yes, of course,” Hunnigan stated, as if it were common knowledge.

“So, what are we to do to pass the time until seven...” Helena pursed her lips as she pretended to think about it deeply.  
“I’m open to any suggestions you might have,” Hunnigan said, her voice dropping to a low, sultry tone.

“Well... I do have some ideas,” Helena murmured and leaned to kiss Hunnigan again, reaching her hand lower, gripping the back of Hunnigan’s knee and pulling a little until Hunnigan’s leg was resting on Helena’s hip.

She nudged herself closer, trailing her lips down Hunnigan’s neck and over to her collarbones and chest while running her hand up along the side of Hunnigan’s thigh, across her hip and to her back. Hunnigan sunk her fingers into Helena’s hair and ran them through the dark brown locks, pausing to rest her hand on the back of Helena’s neck then, closing her eyes when Helena continued kissing down her chest. The younger woman shifted their position, urging Hunnigan to lay on her back and she gave into it, turning and wrapping her arms around Helena’s shoulders.

Hunnigan exhaled sharply when Helena’s thigh pressed firmly between her legs and Hunnigan’s back arched a little as Helena held onto her and ran her tongue down Hunnigan’s chest, trailing her lips over the soft underside of her breast and slowly up along the side of it before finally enclosing her lips around the nipple, teasing it with her tongue as she sucked on it lightly. She remained there for a while before switching her attention to the other one, slipping her hand down Hunnigan’s side and across her hip, gripping Hunnigan's buttock firmly and pulling on her to offer more pressure as she ground against Helena’s thigh.

Hunnigan snaked her arm underneath Helena’s and gently tugged on her and Helena eased into the movement, shifting upward and leaning to kiss the side of Hunnigan’s neck, wrapping her left arm around Hunnigan’s shoulders and bringing her right hand up to gently entwine her fingers with Hunnigan’s and hold onto her hand tightly. Helena paused for a moment when she could feel Hunnigan swallow hard. She frowned a little at the gesture and then remembered Hunnigan having confessed to being nervous about their first time.

* * *

 

By Oceanmyhope, view in full size [here](http://i.imgur.com/zng7t6T.jpg)

* * *

 

“Do you want me to stop?” Helena asked.  
“What? No!” Hunnigan scoffed and Helena chuckled softly, thought about it for a while and then grinned a little.

“Hang on for a moment, I have an idea on how to make this a more... familiar experience for you,” she whispered.  
“What are you talking about?”

“Just hang on,” Helena smiled, kissed her and reluctantly got out of bed. Hunnigan let out a frustrated sigh, but didn’t protest. Instead, she turned to lay on her back as she waited for Helena to do whatever she’d gone to do. A few moments later, the young woman emerged from the bathroom, wearing the realdoe.

“Oh! Okay, I see what you meant,” Hunnigan chuckled somewhat surprised; she’d forgotten they even had that toy.  
“I know the visual might take some getting used to, but...” Helena shrugged a little as she crossed the room.

“Not at all, it actually... it suits you almost disurbingly well,” Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow.  
”Oh, really?” Helena grinned as she was about to get back in bed, but Hunnigan stood on her knees on the edge and pressed her palms over Helena’s shoulders and gently stopped her.

“Yeah, really,” she confirmed and to prove her point, urged Helena to turn and face the mirror near the bed.

Her own reflection wasn’t anything Helena hadn’t seen before, but Hunnigan’s hand resting on her hip and her other hand sliding up her side to cup her breast was a new sight. Helena exhaled deeply when Hunnigan pressed against her back, leaning to plant gentle kisses on Helena’s shoulder, trailing her lips softly over the scar tissue there, not minding the raised skin anymore after having learned to love it and what it stood for instead of representing a painful reminder of the guilt Hunnigan had occasionally felt over it; Helena had gotten the scar while protecting Hunnigan, and nowadays it was another reminder of Helena’s dedication and love for her rather than a source of guilt.

* * *

 

By Oceanmyhope, view in full size [here](http://i.imgur.com/zWLCsET.jpg)

* * *

Hunnigan slid her hand further down from Helena’s hip, enclosing her fingers around the shaft of the toy and gave it a firm pump which elicited a deep gasp from the younger woman. Hunnigan changed the angle a little and continued the subtle movements of her hand, putting more pressure onto the sensitive spot inside Helena and against her clit.

While this wasn’t an entirely new form of foreplay for Helena, there were some new elements to it now; the visual of Hunnigan’s hand working on the shaft- artificial as it were- was arousing on its own, but add to that the feeling of Hunnigan’s breasts pressed against Helena’s shoulder blades, her lips travelling on Helena’s neck and shoulder, her other hand gently massaging Helena’s breast and teasing the erect nipple...

“Oh, God,” Helena groaned and threw her head back against Hunnigan’s shoulder, her hips rocking back and forth in sync with the movements of Hunnigan’s hand. Grunting, Helena forced herself to stop before she’d end up coming right there, as tempting as the thought was.

She took hold of Hunnigan’s wrist gently and urged her to let go and Hunnigan released her grip. Helena then turned around in Hunnigan’s arms and practically tackled the other woman onto the bed. Hunnigan chuckled softly at the younger woman’s eagerness and wrapped her arms around Helena’s shoulders, complying gladly when she felt Helena nudge her legs apart to allow her access between them.

Helena slid into her with ease, shifting to rest most of her weight on her knees and on her elbows as she leaned over Hunnigan and just remained still for a while, resting against Hunnigan with gentle pressure and moved to capture her lips into a slow, deep kiss. Hunnigan raked her fingernails across Helena’s back and sides, digging her heels into the mattress and driving her hips upward, pushing against Helena tighter, arching her back when the ripple of almost painful pleasure brought on by the pressure washed over her.

Helena trailed her lips down along Hunnigan’s neck, sinking her fingers into the other woman’s hair and tugging on it gently to urge her to tilt her head to the side as she slowly began to move her hips against Hunnigan’s, the taller woman going to wrap her legs around Helena. She loved the way their bodies instinctively smoothed into the same rhythm as they moved, there were no doubts or hesitation like she’d admittedly expected there’d be.

Helena propped herself up a little, gripped the backs of Hunnigan’s knees and brought her legs to rest over her shoulders and leaned forward then, entwining her fingers with Hunnigan’s and leaving enough room between their bodies to allow Hunnigan’s other hand to slip between them. Helena buried her face into the side of Hunnigan’s neck, quickening her pace, pushing herself and Hunnigan further toward the edge with each thrust.

It didn’t take long for Hunnigan to go over it, her body arching high, a series of soft moans emanating from deep within her as her body tensed up only to shatter in sweet release a moment after, Helena following her over the edge within a few more strokes, dissolving into shudders and uncontrollable breaths. They remained like that, riding out the aftershocks until Helena pulled back just enough to remove the toy from between their bodies before having to collapse next to Hunnigan, nudging herself closer once more, resting her arm over Hunnigan’s midsection and her leg over her hips.

Reaching to cover Hunnigan’s lips with soft and slow kisses, Helena gently raked her fingernails across Hunnigan’s palm, her touch so light it was tickling a little as she made her way down to the inside of Hunnigan’s elbow before tracing her steps up and once more entwining her fingers with Hunnigan’s, holding her hand firmly in her own. She would’ve wanted to say something, but couldn’t find her voice, or any words to speak, but it didn’t matter, there was no actual need for words, being close like this spoke of love and affection more than a thousand words ever could’ve expressed.

* * *

“Whatcha up to, Hunnibear?” Olivia inquired when it was getting close to lunch hour and she lost whatever little interest she’d had toward her reports today. She got up and circled over to Hunnigan’s desk, shamelessly leaning over the other woman’s shoulder to see what she was doing.

“I’m trying to find a Christmas present for Helena,” Hunnigan sighed at Olivia’s lack of manners.  
“Why not give her a plaster cast of your juicebox?” Olivia suggested.

“My what?” Hunnigan scoffed.  
“You know, your fingerhut. Honey pot. Tampon tunnel. Cu—”

“I get the picture!” Hunnigan interrupted in exasperation.  
“...baby cannon,” Olivia added in a whisper and Hunnigan groaned, burying her face into her hands.

“And just what exactly would she do with such an item?”

“Take it with her on missions and cuddle it when she gets homesick and misses you. Oh, you could decorate it or maybe add a vibrating bullet into it even! She could turn it on and keep it between her legs for some long distance-tribbling.”

“...Oh, my God, Olivia, honestly, I don’t even have a word for what you are...” Hunnigan sighed deeply, but couldn’t keep from chuckling at the other woman’s suggestions.  
“I know and I’ve been called that often,” Olivia wiggled her eyebrows.

“...Liv, please, stop,” Hunnigan burst into laughter.

“And for a Christmas card, you could just take your panties off and go straddle the photocopier. We could get some shredded paper from the shredder and use those for pubes. Unless, of course, you go full Brazilian, in which case that won’t be necessary,” Olivia trailed off and Hunnigan gasped for air as she tried to get her laughter under control.

“You’re... killing me, and you’re... terrible!”  
“I’m creative! Hell, if it were up to you, you’d give Helena something like... fluffy socks,” Olivia smirked and Hunnigan inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to calm herself down.

“...I’d want fluffy socks,” she then commented.  
“I rest my case!” Olivia rolled her eyes and went to grab her coat from the hanger.

“You wanna come with me to lunch?” she then inquired.  
“Not today, I have a lunch appointment with someone,” Hunnigan shook her head a little.

“Okay, I’ll be back in a few,” Olivia said and exited the office. Hunnigan got up and reached for her jacket as well, but before she could shrug it on, she noticed her lunch date standing by the door to her office with a paper bag containing their lunch in her hand.

“I thought we were going to the diner?”  
“We were, but then I got this great idea...” Helena trailed off and Hunnigan narrowed her eyes at the other woman suspiciously.

“Which is..?” she inquired and turned to put her jacket back onto the hanger.

“Well, it’s the holiday season so most agents are already off on their Christmas breaks... and the few that are on duty are now out for lunch... which leaves me with the perfect opportunity to suggest doing something I’ve always wanted to do,” Helena explained vaguely.

“I’m intrigued,” Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow.

Helena put the food onto Olivia’s desk and moved to wrap her arms around Hunnigan’s waist then, pressing her body into the taller woman’s and urging her to take a couple of steps backward until Hunnigan was back at her chair and sat down. Helena then put her hands onto Hunnigan’s shoulders and moved to straddle her lap, leaning to trail her lips over Hunnigan’s jawline and to her neck.

* * *

 

By Oceanmyhope, view in full size over [here](http://i.imgur.com/5b1dONI.jpg)

* * *

“What are you doing?” Hunnigan exhaled deeply, unable to keep from tilting her head to the side, relishing the feel of Helena’s lips travelling down her neck and to gently nibble at her collarbones.  
“Taking advantage of our height difference?” Helena smirked against Hunnigan’s skin.

“Helena, we can’t...”

“Nothing’s stopping us,” Helena countered in a quiet murmur, moving to stand back up, tugging on Hunnigan and the taller woman gave in, standing up as well, only to be spun around by Helena, who then reached behind Hunnigan and pushed some of the folders and various other office supplies toward the other end of the desk to make some room before gripping the back of Hunnigan’s knee and wrapping her arm around her waist, lifting her to sit on the edge of the desk.

“...what are you doing?”

“I told you; what I’ve always wanted to do, but never thought I’d actually get to do,” Helena grinned, silencing Hunnigan’s arguments with gentle kisses. She brought her hands over to Hunnigan’s knees, slowly sliding them up along her thighs, slipping them under her skirt and across the elasticized bands of her stay-ups until she felt warm, bare skin underneath her fingertips. She broke the kiss, and before Hunnigan even realized she’d done so, Helena had already knelt in front of her and wrapped her arms around Hunnigan’s thighs.

“Helena, we—” Hunnigan began to protest once more, but couldn’t finish her sentence; Helena pulled her underwear aside and leaned forward, flattening her tongue over Hunnigan’s clit, causing Hunnigan's mouth to drop open in surprise, but the various new tingles –the risk of getting caught, the feel of Helena’s hot breath against her flesh, her arms firmly around her thighs– trapped her voice deep into her chest.

She managed a groan when Helena sucked on her clit and Hunnigan’s body tensed at the sensation, her hips bucking against Helena’s mouth. She hummed approvingly and reached to grip Hunnigan’s hip with her other hand to help steady her and keep her from falling off the desk. Hunnigan sunk her fingers into Helena’s hair and threw her head back, able to only breathe heavily as Helena covered the sensitive flesh between Hunnigan’s legs with hot and hungry licks.

* * *

 

By [Fishbone76](http://fishbone76.deviantart.com/)

* * *

 

She almost exclaimed in disappointmend and frustration when Helena suddenly stopped and stood up, nudging Hunnigan’s legs further apart and positioning herself between them and pressed her hips against Hunnigan.

“...is that..?” Hunnigan then frowned when she felt something hard push against her.  
“It is exactly what you think it is,” Helena confirmed with a grin and reached to undo her zipper, and proceeded to push the longer end of the toy through the opening.

“How did you even..?”

“It’s bendy, but I admit having it pinned underneath my waistband was kind of frustrating and somewhat uncomfortable... but mostly because it was a turn-on,” Helena whispered with a smile, wrapping her arms around Hunnigan’s waist and pulling on her until she was standing up once more, only to spin her around and gently press her palm against the spot between Hunnigan’s shoulder blades to urge her to lean forward over the desk.

To Helena’s surprise, Hunnigan complied easily, apparently done with trying to convince Helena that this was not the time or the place for this. Truthfully, she’d stopped caring about that too; she wanted Helena and it didn’t matter that this was going against practically every rule Hunnigan had set for herself.

Helena hitched Hunnigan’s skirt up over her hips before tugging her underwear halfway down her thighs to get them out of the way, running her hands up again along the smooth curve of Hunnigan’s backside and over her waist, higher to caress her back with a few gentle strokes before gripping Hunnigan’s hip firmly with one hand and using the other to grip the strap-on and guide its tip against Hunnigan’s opening.

She exhaled sharply at the sensation of Helena pushing into her, gripping the far edge of the desk so hard her fingernails almost broke, her body undulating underneath Helena like it had a will of its own. The younger woman eased into her pace, picking it up little by little, thrusting a bit harder and took a moment to straighten her back to be able to enjoy the visual. That combined with the feeling of the toy pressing harder against the sensitive spot within her with every thrust and the quiet, sharp breaths Hunnigan let out with each push, the sight of her on her desk like Helena had often imagined when she’d decided to indulge herself with fantasies she’d never believed would actually come true one day... it was all too much, Helena found herself peaking quickly.

Thankfully, she wasn’t the only one nearing it; judging from the way Hunnigan was tensing up and trembling underneath her told Helena the other woman wouldn’t need much more than a little push herself. Helena reached her right hand over Hunnigan’s hip and between her legs, seeking out her clit and pressing the length of her finger against it, timing the rubbing motion and the strokes of her hips with each other until neither one of them could take it anymore.

Helena held back for half a second until she was certain Hunnigan was coming before plunging into her with one more forceful thrust which lashed Helena over the edge, reducing her into a shaking mess as she collapsed over Hunnigan.

They remained still there for as long as they could without seriously risking someone coming back from lunch and seeing them. Helena finally slowly pulled back and tucked the toy back into her pants. Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow at that as she straightned up, tugging her underwear up and smoothing her skirt back down.

“Well, I can’t walk out with it flopping everywhere, now can I?” Helena smirked and Hunnigan chuckled.  
“I’d certainly hope you wouldn’t,” she commented, “We should go get cleaned up,” she then said.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Helena agreed, grabbed her shoulder bag where she'd stash the toy and headed into the bathroom with the taller woman. When they got back into the office a few minutes later, Hunnigan sat down, leaned her elbow to her desk and covered her mouth with her hand.

“What’s wrong?” Helena frowned.  
“Nothing, I just can’t believe we actually did that,” Hunnigan said letting out a quiet laugh that was almost a giggle.

“I can’t either,” Helena admitted, grinning like there was no tomorrow. She reached to grab their lunch from Olivia’s desk and borrowed her chair, rolling it over to Hunnigan’s side of the office so that she could sit next to her.

“Oh, you have no idea how I love you,” Hunnigan then sighed happily and nuzzled into Helena’s neck.  
“Likewise,” the younger woman chuckled softly and put her arm around Hunnigan’s shoulders, holding her tightly and kissed her forehead softly.

“Also, I have to tell you something very important.”  
“Oh?” Hunnigan’s eyebrows rose in surprise.

“You have the sweetest pussy I’ve ever tasted,” Helena said very seriously and Hunnigan let out a coughing laugh at the odd compliment.  
“Well, uh, thank you! I, uhm... I do eat a lot of pineapple and kiwi.”

“‘ello, ‘ello, ladies!” Olivia called out as she entered the office. Hunnigan let out a sigh of relief at Olivia not turning up a few minutes earlier.  
“Hey, Liv. What do you want for Christmas?” Helena inquired.

“Straight and to the point, huh? Are you my Secret Santa?”  
“No, I just wanna give you something because you’re a friend.”

“You are such a sweetheart,” Olivia purred, “And you are such a lucky bitch,” she then told Hunnigan.  
“For once, I actually agree with you,” Hunnigan nodded and smiled.

“D’aw, you’re making me blush, ladies,” Helena smirked, got up and gave Olivia her chair back, nodding toward the lounge and suggesting that she and Hunnigan go eat their lunch over there.  
“Don’t worry about getting me anything for Christmas, I’ve got everything I need,” Olivia then smiled sweetly.

“I’ll get you fluffy socks!” Hunnigan promised.  
“Don’t you dare!” Olivia laughed, sat in her chair and leaned back, raising her feet on her desk as she dug up her phone and dialed Claire’s number.

“Hey, I just wanted to let you know that you won the bet. Well, funny story, I was on my way to lunch and I realized I’d forgotten my wallet, so I came back and... well, let’s just say that they forgot to close the shades on the door and they forgot about the mirror I put in the office, so... Oh, honey, I saw everything, you can tell Birkin to pay up,” Olivia chuckled quietly.

* * *

The fewerish feeling had begun to slowly pass and Jenova finally felt like sitting up and continuing her work. For the first time in days, she felt hungry and like she could actually do something other than sleep. She opened the lid of Hunnigan’s laptop and turned it on. The screen had suffered some damage, but everything else seemed intact, which was good.

“I love it when smart people do stupid things,” Jenova smiled when she realized that Hunnigan had chosen to save her login information on every separate account she needed to access from her computer, allowing Jenova to login as her with a single click. Obviously, Hunnigan had never assumed her computer would end up in the hands of anyone who wasn’t her.

“Christmas came a few days early, I see. Merry Christmas to me,” Jenova mumbled as she dove into the files and assets now freely available to her. This changed a lot of things for the better for her, made things easier. Now, this was actually turning out to be more fun that she’d assumed it would be. Hell, it would be brilliant.

Soon.

***


	20. Gods and monsters

Helena was surprised when Hunnigan told her she and Leon both had nominated her to take over the job of lead field agent. She was even more surprised when no one seemed to have any objections. She had to admit, that made her feel a bit suspicious, it was almost as if no one actually wanted the job. She told as much to Leon when he returned from the bar and took a seat in the booth, placing their drinks on the table. He merely chuckled and shrugged innocently.

"Someone tell me why no one actually wants his job," Helena narrowed her eyes at Hunnigan and Olivia who'd joined them for celebratory drinks after work.  
"Because it's not a promotion, it's more like a lateral move that comes with little more resposibilities and not much of a pay raise," Hunnigan dismissed.

"It's the paperwork, no one wants to do it for themselves let alone for an entire team of agents," Olivia blurted out and Hunnigan kicked her under the table.  
"Wait, what? I'll be in charge of a team... and their damn paperwork?" Helena groaned.

"Not a lot of paperwork, mostly just a couple of Excel-files you gotta keep up to date," Leon comforted, chuckling into his whiskey before taking a drink from the glass.  
"I hate Excel," Helena grumbled.

"Only because you don't know how to use it," Hunnigan smirked, "Look, the dreaded paperwork is nothing you haven't already done for yourself, now people will just forward their reports and hours to you, and you sign off on them before forwarding them to me, no big changes."

"Damn it, Jim, I'm a zombie slayer, not a pencil pusher," Helena muttered and Olivia snorted, covering her mouth with her hand to catch the rum and coke that had escaped through her nose.

"You guys are killing me," she coughed and wiped her face with a napkin.  
"You'll be fine," Hunnigan assured Helena once more, finished her drink and got up.

"Where do you think you're going?" Olivia quirked an eyebrow and Hunnigan chuckled.

"Home, my younger sister's spending the holidays at my place, my parents are bringing her over in a while," she replied. Helena got up as well and stepped to Hunnigan before leaning to kiss her softly, not really caring what others might think, if they were inclined to pay attention at all.

"See you in a few," she smiled after breaking the kiss and Hunnigan nodded, shouldered her laptop bag and exited the bar.

"Well, paint me surprised," Olivia grinned.  
"Yeah, yeah, public displays of affection, totally not what you'd expected," Helena smirked and poked her tongue out at Olivia, who laughed softly.

"I'm not complaining, you two are adorable together. But I never imagined that you'd be the girl."  
"What are you talking about?" Helena rolled her eyes.

"You did the leg-pop that girls do in romantic movies when they lean in to kiss their fella," Olivia squealed, interlaced her fingers and pressed her cheek against her hands, tilting to the side to silently convey the message of "awww-cute".

"Even if I did, it was for balance, she's like a foot taller," Helena exaggerated, scoffing a little.

"Say what you want, but you're the girl. You hang her shirts in the closet with love and care, thinking about how hard she works and how proud you are and you don't even mind," Olivia continued teasing, grinning a little and wiggling her eyebrows.

"I'd like to think Hunnigan and I are beyond gender roles from the fifties," Helena countered with a smirk, only now realizing that everything Olivia was saying was true. That was _exactly_ what she'd done... but she'd never admit it to Olivia.

"So, Leon, now that you've officially retired and all, what's the plan? You gonna be a stay at home dad?" Helena changed the subject, turning her attention to him.  
"No, I'll stick around as a trainer, someone's gotta make sure you'll have the best of the best at your service," he grinned.

"What's Claire going to be doing in the future?" Olivia then asked and Leon shrugged a little.  
"I'm not sure, we'll just have to see what happens. I don't think she'll be able to bring herself to just quit..."

"Frankly, I'm amazed you were willing to step down," Helena commented.  
"Had to make room for whippersnappers like yourself," he grinned and bumped his shoulder against hers playfully.

"To new beginnings," Olivia raised her glass, and Leon and Helena toasted with her.

* * *

Lucy wandered around the D.S.O. hallways as she waited for her sister to finish working. She'd wanted to spend the holidays with Hunnigan rather than stay at home since this year, it was Nina and her children's turn to spend Christmas at their parents. Hunnigan had agreed to the compromise of having to share her parents like that because even though she admitted it stung, she didn't want to keep her parents from spending time with their grandkids and Nina. Regardless of what Nina thought, Hunnigan did consider her family, and sometimes it meant making compromises like this one.

This year, she didn't actually mind as much really because she had her hands full with everything happening at the agency; had she spent Christmas at home, she would've rudely snuck off to check her emails every five minutes which would've just insulted her parents. In principle, no one was expected to work during the holidays unless they'd volunteered to be on call, but that rarely actually applied. There was always something or someone who had at least one question, no matter what time of the year it was.

Lucy got into the elevator and studied the panel, randomly pressing buttons only to discover most of them didn't seem to work, she would've needed a keycard or a passcode to access the restricted levels. The non-restricted areas were just boring office spaces. She'd hoped she'd find her way to somewhere cool, like maybe an armory or a shooting range. Her sister had never disclosed much of what she did for a living, but Lucy'd drawn conclusions based on what information she'd managed to pump out from Helena during Thanksgiving. The fact that Helena had a background in the military, the C.I.A. and the Secret Service spoke volumes of what the D.S.O. had to be about.

Lucy gave up trying to find more unlocked doors and headed back to the offices at the top floor. She wondered what it would be like working here. She'd asked about it from Hunnigan, but the older sister hadn't said much and Lucy'd gotten the feeling Hunnigan didn't like the idea of Lucy wanting to get a job here in the future. It kind of hurt, made her feel like Hunnigan didn't want her around. Had she asked, Hunnigan would've gladly told her that was not the case at all, but to a moody teenager, it was easier to accept that she wasn't wanted rather than imagine any other possibility.

Lucy went to the lounge and slumped onto the couch, dug her phone out and began browsing online while Hunnigan, Helena and Olivia went over some paperwork regarding Helena's new job position. She was just about to get back up and go complain about being bored when an alarm went off.

* * *

Out of all the things stored on Hunnigan's computer, Jenova had found that one of the most useful things was the sheet containing details of every agent's scheduled time off which allowed her to make her move when she knew that the agency was operating at minimal staff. The second most useful thing was a copy of Hunnigan's badge and ID numbers which allowed unrestricted access even to the bottom levels.

Underneath the gym and well hidden from even most of the D.S.O. staff was the laboratory where the agency's scientists worked to reverse engineer viruses from the samples the field agents collected around the world and then used those to create cures. For Jenova, that meant they had a full stock of whatever horrors Umbrella or any other organization that worked in the same field had created so far. So many deadly viruses that undoubtedly made even the CDC's collection pale in comparison.

 _So many wonderful things that are about to fall into the wrong hands... and it'll be all thanks to you, agent Hunnigan. That's what you get for betraying me,_ Jenova smiled as she got into the elevator and swiped the card she'd infused with Hunnigan's ID. Of course, she realized her whole plan could've easily backfired had Hunnigan gone and changed her passcodes after what had happened after she'd gotten her laptop taken, but apparently she hadn't. Jenova had expected as much, the agent had undoubtedly been busy with everything else. All the better for Jenova.

She exited the elevator and followed the dimly lit corridor toward the sliding twin-doors at the end of it, swiped the card once more and the doors slid open with a quiet hiss. The lone security guard looked up with a smile that soon faded.

"You're not Hunnigan," he stated the obvious when he realized that he was staring into the scarred face of a skinny blonde who was missing an eye.

"What gave it away?" Jenova chuckled and threw herself over the desk and against the guard while he was still confused, tackling him onto the floor. She wrapped her arm around his neck, tightening her grip until she'd gotten him into a chokehold and cut off the blood flow to his brain, rendering him unconscious in a matter of seconds.

"Try not to stay passed out for too long. I hear it's bad for your brain," Jenova smirked, patted his cheek and grabbed his gun before heading further into the laboratory.

She couldn't resist the urge to start whistling Bernard Herrman's "Twisted nerve". It suited her mood. She paused to chuckle a little at it before continuing her carefree whistling and unlocking her way toward the heart of the D.S.O.'s laboratory with such ease it was almost laughable and terrifying at the same time.

Jenova paused at the locker room to dress appropriately to fit in for the few moments she'd need to, passed through the sterilization room and entered the storage. No one even looked at her twice. She was almost disappointed at how easy this was. Disappointed with the people working here. This was supposed to be one of the most secure places on the planet, yet just anyone could march in as long as they had a passcode, no questions asked. No wonder the bio-terrorists were provided with so much weapons in the black market, all the seller had to do was come here and take what they wanted before going out to figuratively open up a candy store for the kids.

Jenova opened the container holding samples of the T-virus that Tricell had modified once upon a time to be able to create the deadlier albeit more obedient Lickers. She wished she had the plaga she could use to control them, but then again... that probably wouldn't even be necessary, she was certain the creatures would more than happily do exactly what she needed them to do even without being told to. And, if she was lucky, maybe she'd find a sample of the master plaga she could use, but she didn't waste time actively looking for it right now. No, this would be enough, everything else would be an added bonus.

* * *

_Warning, a lethal virus strain has been detected. Contamination. Contamination. Contamination. Warning, a lethal..._

The female voice given to the agency's computer that oversaw the security kept repeating the message at a few seconds' intervals. Whenever something questionable happened in the lab, that automated protocol locked everything down, placing the entire building in quarantine to ensure nothing would leak from the D.S.O. out into the world. A necessary precaution even if the amount of false alarms was ridiculous.

"What does that mean?" Lucy frowned as she paused to stand next to Helena and and Hunnigan who were hunched over Hunnigan's computer, the tall woman navigating her way through the network to access the feeds from the security cameras.

"Probably nothing, the biohazard-detectors in the building are so sensitive I swear I once caused a false alarm just by sneezing near one," Olivia offered.

Helena and Hunnigan glanced at each other, the silent message between them speaking volumes. That gut-feeling was there, this was not a false alarm, this was it, this was what Hunnigan had known was coming when she'd insisted she could feel something being wrong even whe on the surface everything had seemed fine.

When Hunnigan finally got the security feed up on the screen, Helena instinctively moved to wrap her arms around Lucy's shoulders and turned the teenager to face away from the screen to prevent her from seeing was what displayed on it. The lab was in chaos, the few people working there infected and quickly transforming into Lickers, their bodies deforming rapidly, becoming something new and grotesque. The couple of people who hadn't gotten infected initially were being torn to pieces.

"Oh, my God," Hunnigan whispered.

"The lockdown is in place, right? They won't be able to leave the lab, right?" Olivia asked, her voice a bit shaky. She'd read reports about the infections, she'd seen photos, she was familiar with it all, but seeing it happen in real life... and knowing it was happening just a dozen floors below her... it was more terrifying that she ever could've imagined.

"Yes, but I—" Hunnigan began to say but was cut off by a voice that echoed over the intercom.

"Ingriiid... come out and plaa-yaaayyy!" Jenova announced happily, "Don't worry, even I don't have control over the Lickers, I couldn't find the master plaga-parasite, so it'll be fair play, I'm also at risk, they don't think I'm their mama," she then added, laughing a little. She was silent for a while, obviously expecting a response, but Hunnigan didn't give her one. She didn't have anything she could say.

"Okay, fine, I'll come over to you. We have so much catching up to do," Jenova then shrugged and disappeared from the view.  
"She can't, there's no way," Hunnigan muttered, no one really being sure what she was referring to exactly.

"Uh, Hunnigan? The lockdown from the lab to here is being over-ridden," Olivia pointed out awkwardly.  
"By whom!" the tall woman gasped.

"...by you..." Olivia answered and turned her monitor to display the ID that was plowing through security, unlocking doors and releasing the Lickers and other horrors from the lab to roam freely in the building.  
"Oh, my God... she had my computer. I didn't change my codes, I didn't... I'm so... fucking... stupid!" Hunnigan exclaimed, her hands on her cheeks as she kept repeating her mantra about being stupid, for the first time during her entire career freezing in the middle of a bad situation, no longer able to think of what to do next.

"...where's Lucy?" Helena asked when she realized the teen was gone.  
"She couldn't have gone..." Olivia began to say when she noticed another warning pop up on her screen, telling the users unlocking the doors that doing so was ill-advised. Only, the persons supposedly doing the unlocking were not out there doing it, they were in the office with her.

"Jesus Christ!" Helena then gasped, patting at her pockets, finding nothing. Hunnigan immediately mimicked her gesture and realized Lucy had stolen her and Helena's credentials and was now on her way to meet Jenova head on.

"What the hell is she thinking!" Olivia almost yelled.  
"About protecting my stupid ass," Hunnigan growled in frustration, picked her glasses from her face and threw them across the room furiously before burying her face into her hands.

_Think, think, think!_

But she couldn't think, she couldn't function. She was beat. She couldn't do anything even if she'd had a plan; her credentials were gone and so were Helena's, and to over ride the security doors standing between here and thirteen floors down, you needed two codes to authorize it; a code from a support operative and from a lead field agent, Olivia's code alone wouldn't do it.

_This is a nightmare._

* * *

Lucy was used to making herself invisible unless she knew someone wanted to see her. A few years back, if she wasn't working or "working", she was invisible. Hungry, scrawny, achy... hurting in places she hadn't realized she could even hurt... but always quiet and unseen. Some people wouldn't have been able to deal with that, they craved for attention in all of its shapes, but Lucy was just happy to be ignored. It allowed her to do things without anyone noticing until she'd already gotten what she wanted.

Bio-organic weapons. She'd seen zombie movies, she'd heard rumors... but even so, she had never considered that they would be real... and that her sister would be working so closely to such things. In a way, she thought it was cool. But, at the same time, right now, those things were a threat to the most important person in her life, to her sister.

It was a given that she would kill and die for Hunnigan any day. It was never spoken of aloud, and Lucy didn't understand why exactly. It was a compliment. Apparently, to everyone else it was just creepy. She couldn't understand half-hearted devotion. If you truly loved someone, you would be willing to do everything it took. That was the only kind of love there was as far as she was concerned.

 _Master plaga..._ Lucy mused silently as she quietly and calmly passed various containers in the lab, completely ignoring the mess and the noises very easily audible from around her as the few survivors left tried to escape the infected.

"Okay, so... what do I do with you..." she mumbled softly when she found what she'd been looking for. Jenova had said it could be used to control the monsters... but how? They didn't exactly come with a handy "how to"-booklet.

 _She said it's a parasite, so.. a parasite is what? An organism that needs a host. I am the host. I need... aw, fuck. Well... it's not like this is the worst thing I've put in my mouth,_ Lucy winced, undid the seal on the top of the vial and without hesitation lifted it to her lips, tilted her head backward and shook the vial a little to ease the nasty-looking, wriggling little creature out and into her mouth.

Lucy swallowed, repeatedly, but the thing wouldn't go down. Apparently, it wasn't meant to. It hooked itself to her mouth, burrowing its way into the soft tissues of her throat, crawling down toward her chest underneath the breastbone, making a path looking for the spot it needed to take hold of in the host. It hurt, it hurt much more than anything Lucy had ever experienced before. She coughed, blood seeping from the holes the creature was creating, the generous amount of it blocking her airway.

For a while Lucy thought she was going to die, a feeling she'd gone through so many times before it barely even fazed her anymore... and then, just like before, it was over. Only this time, it was replaced by a feeling of power surging through her. She could feel the parasite moving inside her, but she could feel something else moving too... something that wasn't a part of her, yet at the same time, it felt like it was... it was an extension.

 _Find her,_ she thought, conjuring up a mental image of the scarred blonde she'd seen on the screen a while ago, and she could feel an entire mass of minds focusing and moving to do just so. Glimpses of the facility flashed to her mind, like shrapnel bombarding her with visions of what her minions were seeing as they searched for Jenova. Lucy was now the Queen Bee and the rest her loyal little worker bees.

* * *

Jenova paused and frowned a little when she realized it had gotten too quiet all of a sudden. She remained still, listening. Quiet, yes, but something was moving, watching her, stalking. A Licker, undoubtedly, but they weren't known for being subtle stalkers, not really.

"There you are," Jenova whispered softly when she saw the sliver of thick saliva drip from above. The Licker regarded her for a long moment, but didn't jump, didn't even hiss.

"What's this... why aren't you attacking?" she narrowed her eyes. She'd barely finished her sentence when the Licker tensed up and prepared to jump, only it didn't jump at her, it jumped over her, digging into the infected body of the security guard Jenova had met earlier.

 _It saved me. Why?_ she frowned as she watched the Licker tear the zombie apart until it was nothing but a messy pulp on the floor. Once it was finished, it turned its attention back to Jenova, its claws clicking on the floor as it approached her slowly. She backed away, and it followed, but still made no attempt at her life.

As she was about to turn at a corner, she came face-to-face with another Licker, this one hissing at her as a warning, making it clear that this was not the way to turn. The two then began guiding her toward the entrance to the stairwell.

 _They're herding me,_ Jenova realized as she was being escorted up the stairs and toward wherever it was that the Lickers wanted her to go. As she walked, she was joined by more Lickers that had turned up at different corners and corridors to guide her and were now following her, an entire mass of them pushing her forward until she reached the top floor.

The journey was finally over and she realized that she was staring into an office space that was protected and built of glass that could've withstood a nuclear strike. She was staring at Hunnigan, Olivia and Helena who looked equally confused to see her... the confusion deepening when Jenova began to laugh.

"Well played, Hunnigan," Jenova chuckled, clapping her hands slowly.  
"What are you talking about?"

"You used the master plaga on yourself and had your little pets bring me to you. I'm impressed, I didn't think you had the balls to do this. I'm also pissed off at you, you're not playing fair, it was supposed to be just you and I," Jenova narrowed her eyes. Well, eye. The empty socket merely twitched at the gesture in an oddly grotesque way.

"I didn't. I'm not doing this," Hunnigan said slowly and Jenova frowned when she saw the expression on Hunnigan's face change when she realized what was happening.  
"What?" Jenova demanded to know.

Lucy was doing this, that was obvious, but the reason she'd brought Jenova here was... she was offering her to Hunnigan. As a gift. Like when a pet cat brings a headless bird to his owner.

_I got this for you. I though you'd like it, that you'd need it. Love me, love me, love me._

"Lucy, no! No, no, no! Don't do this!" Hunnigan yelled and slammed her fist into the glass repeatedly, but it was already happening. The Lickers jumped on Jenova, the hissing mass of claws, teeth and razor sharp tongues drowning the woman, tearing skin, her limbs, doing it all patiently and slowly. They didn't want her just dead, they wanted her to stay alive and suffer for as long as they could. Lucy wanted her to stay alive. Death by a thousand cuts.

"Oh, God," Olivia whimpered and buried her face into Helena's shoulder, having to hide against her because as much as she wanted to simply look away and not witness the body being dismembered, she couldn't.

Hunnigan growled in frustration and exasperation, returning to her computer and continuing her efforts to force an over ride to end the lockdown. Once the Lickers were done with Jenova's body, they began attacking each other.

"What the hell..." Helena whispered as she watched them.  
"It's Lucy! She's controlling them, we have to get out of here and get her to the lab, we have to get the parasite out before it's too late," Hunnigan said through clenched teeth as her fingers worked on the keys at speeds that surely were breaking world records.

"I don't think she's gonna wanna go," Helena muttered.  
"Of course she isn't," Hunnigan spat and then exclaimed victoriously when she locks released.

"I am _not_ going out there!" Olivia scoffed, pointing at the bloody mess that was beyond the glass.  
"You'd rather stay here alone? I can't protect you here, but I can if you come with," Helena said and Olivia hung her head in defeat. No, she definitely didn't want to be left alone.

Hunnigan, on the other hand, didn't seem to have a problem venturing out there alone. She kicked her heels off and skidded across the slippery bloody hallway, following the remaining Lickers that were now retreating to where their mistress was. Hunnigan was unarmed and Olivia couldn't decide if she was brave or crazy, or both for believing no harm would come to her.

"Come on," Helena whispered and followed Hunnigan, Olivia clinging to her arm as they went.

* * *

Lucy sat on the floor at the laboratory, leaning her elbows to her knees, swaying back and forth a little, the two Lickers left alive obediently sitting by her sides. She perked up a little at the sound of Hunnigan's footsteps. She'd known to expect her, of course. The sound of her steps was... wet. Wet from all the blood she'd had to walk over and that had soaked into her socks. Blood that had been sickeningly warm against her skin at first and was now sickeningly cold and sticky.

"Did you like your gift?" Lucy inquired and turned to look at Hunnigan, who barely managed to hold back a visible wince when she saw the green of Lucy's eyes had been replaced with a shade of deep red.  
"You... you did good," Hunnigan said, letting out a rueful scoff. She stepped toward Lucy and reached to put her hands onto her shoulders. The Lickers didn't seem to appreciate this, they tensed a little, studying her as if analyzing the potential threat... but not moving to do anything, not yet anyway.

"Lucy... listen to me. We're gonna have to go. We're gonna have to remove the plaga from you."  
"Why? I feel great," the young redhead smiled happily.

"I'm sure you do," Hunnigan whispered, nodding her head, "...but it's temporary, this thing... you can't control it forever, it will turn on you and kill you."  
"Why do you lie, James? You're the only one I thought wouldn't," Lucy sighed and hung her head in disappointment.

"I'm not lying, Luce. You're right, I am the one who wouldn't, especially not about this. I've never lied to you about anything and I'm not lying about this either," Hunnigan said and when to wrap her arms around Lucy's shoulders, but the moment she moved, the Lickers became agitated. She then realized they weren't reacting to her, they were reacting to Helena's presence when the agent entered into the room.

Hunnigan pulled Lucy to herself and turned her away, shielding her just in case when Helena aimed at the Lickers and fired the pistol repeatedly until the clip was empty. The empty casings clinked loudly as they hit the floor, the smell of gunpowder filling the room... and then everything was silent and still... until Lucy realized what had happened.

She screamed, the sound emanating from her fragile frame inhuman and loud as she struggled to free herself from Hunnigan's grip and take revenge on the agent responsible for killing the Lickers.

"Lucy! Listen to me. Listen to me!" Hunnigan yelled at her, cupping Lucy's face in her hands and forcing her to look at her.  
"What's... happening to me?" Lucy grunted.

"Shh... you'll be okay, we're gonna get that thing out of you and then we're gonna go home and... celebrate Christmas like normal people," Hunnigan reassured, chuckling a little through tears. She tightened her grip on Lucy and picked her up from the floor, the younger sister clinging to her and surprisingly not resisting when Hunnigan carried her.

"Where to?" Helena asked as she followed.  
"Two floors down. Here," Hunnigan then said after fishing out her own and Helena's credentials from Lucy's pocket.

"All right, let's go," Helena nodded, accepted the cards and began opening the doors, Hunnigan and Olivia following closely behind her.

Once at the floor that was used mainly for storage for out dated technology and materials, Olivia hurried over to start up the machine that looked like a piece of junk, but evidently worked. At least, the same principle had worked on Leon and Ashley Graham a decade ago. It had never been tested on a live subject again since then.

Hunnigan lowered Lucy into the seat and worked with Helena to quickly strap her in place to keep her from moving excessively.

"Do it!" Hunnigan then ordered and Olivia hit the switch. Thankfully, the procedure was automated, the computer recognizing the plaga in Lucy's body, targeting the radiation toward it, managing to keep up with the parasite as it tried to move away from the radiation.

Lucy grunted in pain, wriggling in the seat, a single tear escaping from the corner of her eye... but other than that, she was eerily quiet. She was used to pain. She was used to knowing that screaming and crying never helped. She was used to accepting the pain and simply waiting for it to be over. What else was there to do?

"Did it work?" Helena asked as she went to stand next to Olivia and looked at the screen.  
"I think so," Olivia whispered. The plaga had disintigrated and disappeared from the view, melting away, leaving behind a clean image of Lucy's ribcage and internal organs.

"Luce?" Hunnigan said softly, moving to undo the ties around the girl and then softly patted her cheek.

"Come on... snap out of it!"

No response. This was turning out to be one fucked up holiday season.

* * *

Hunnigan sat in the waiting room at the medical wing. A team of agents were already working on the clean up, literal and figurative, Olivia having taken charge of the process and the responsibility of writing out the reports regarding the incident. Lucy had been taken to the medical wing, she hadn't regained consciousness yet. No one could tell if she ever would... nor could they say that if it did happen, would she be able to function normally. The plaga affected the nervous system, there was no telling what the extent of the damage could be at its worst.

"Hey..." Helena whispered as she took a seat next to Hunnigan. She looked like she was a million miles away. Not that Helena could blame her for it.

Hunnigan simply nodded an acknowledgement. She felt numb. She felt like this was it, this was the moment she'd been waiting for since everything that had happened in Sakana earlier this year. It was finally getting to her, her shoulders giving in underneath the weight of it all. She was breaking down.

"It'll be okay, I promise," Helena whispered, put her arms around Hunnigan and held onto her, running her fingers through her hair and nuzzling the top of her head softly. "It'll be okay," she assured repeatedly, knowing it wasn't enough to convince Hunnigan, but hoping it would be enough to help tide her over until she'd be able to see for herself that everything really was okay.

"My mom and dad are gonna be so mad at me," Hunnigan managed before dissolving into uncontrollable sobs, the tears flowing in a generous stream she had no intention of even trying to stop.

 

***


	21. Replica

Christmas eve’s eve, Sakana, the only motel in town, room 23. Ingrid Hunnigan lay on the bed of the same room she’d stayed in with Helena a few months ago. She covered her eyes with her arm and sighed deeply. She shouldn’t be here, she knew that, she knew she had things to do back home, she knew what she’d done was childish, but at the same time, it had been the only thing she could do. The one thing she’d _needed_ to do. She felt that if she hadn’t left, she would’ve suffocated.

Suffocated underneath the realization of the fact that her life and her life’s work all revolved around an endless well of evil. When she was done emptying one bucket, there was always more. It was about as useless as trying to empty an ocean with a teaspoon.

On one hand, she knew that what Helena had told her before was true; the world would be much worse if people like her and the other agents didn’t do anything at all, but at the same time, when it seemed that despite all her efforts the evil in the world seemed to remain the same, it was disheartening. No matter what inconceivable horrors she’d already seen, none of it could prepare her for the next scene of horror, and she knew there’d always be a next one. The question remained, why bother? Giving up would’ve been easier.

 _And then what?_ she asked herself. She knew herself well enough to know she would never be able to just sit back and relax, enjoy retirement. Not anymore than Leon could even if he was tired of the endless war too. She didn’t want to do this anymore, but she didn’t know how to stop doing it either.

Her work had become a part of her, integrated into who she was as a human being, there was no longer a separation between professional and personal. She’d moved beyond “why bother” and reached a point where she realized she didn’t know any better anymore.

Hunnigan sat back up and reached for the bottle on the nightstand. Not her usual method of coping, but it seemed to be everyone else’s go-to when the going got too rough. Why should she be any different?

_Because I always was. I’m not supposed to break down, I’m not supposed to react emotionally, it’s not who I am. Running away is irresponsible, especially with everything happening back home, but here I am. I’m not okay._

She drank from the bottle and made a face at the taste. That was something she hoped she’d never get used to. But, she wasn’t drinking it for the flavor... not that she really enjoyed being drunk either, but she was hoping to eventually just pass out. Sleep had eluded her for a couple of days now.

Hunnigan checked her phone, the disposable one she’d bought recently, not to make any calls but to receive one if Lucy’s condition would change. There were no messages.

Her parents wouldn’t know to worry about her or Lucy for a while, they weren’t expecting constant communication. She’d message them tomorrow to wish them a merry Christmas, but...

She hated lying to them about what she did for a living, but knew that telling the truth wasn’t a possibility. As far her parents knew, she worked for the F.B.I.’s cyber division. They rarely asked her about her work, they knew she wouldn’t be able to tell much and that she didn’t like talking about it either. She helped catch bad guys, that was enough.

But now, Lucy was involved in this mess, and she’d need to lie more, especially if Lucy wouldn’t wake up until after the holidays... or if she woke up and it would turn out she wouldn’t be able to function normally again. How the hell was she supposed to explain that to their parents? Lie about it being some kind of a freak accident, obviously, but the lies weren’t the worst part.

The worst part was having admit and accept that she’d failed. She was supposed to look after Lucy, she was the one who was responsible, she should’ve made certain that something like this would never happen to her. She should’ve protected her, not the other way around.

Hunnigan wasn’t used to making mistakes and she rarely did, but when it happened, the consequences were far more severe than they would’ve been had the mistake been made by anyone else. If she screwed up, someone could literally die. That was the career she’d chosen for herself, but only now she was forced into coming to terms with what it really meant.

She admitted when she’d been headhunted to work for the Secret Service back when she’d barely finished college, she hadn’t fully understood what her role would be or how important it would grow to be. She’d been just a kid, bedazzled by the mere opportunity and flattered beyond belief by the fact that someone had hand-picked her specifically over thousands of others. She’d wanted to work on the field, but when they’d told her that wouldn’t be an option due to her heart condition, she’d been just as happy to sit behind a desk. Frankly, that was where her true talents lay, and it had become clear quickly.

After a little training, she’d been thrown into the fire and told “good luck”. Granted, she’d gotten lucky; she’d gotten to work with Leon when he’d been sent to rescue Ashley Graham, and as arrogant and occasionally condescending as he’d been toward her back then, he’d been easy to work with. In other words, she hadn’t lost an agent during her first mission. It had been a soft landing into the job.

It hadn’t lasted, of course. But whenever she did lose someone, she’d learned to shove those feelings down. She hadn’t failed at her job, she’d done everything right and she’d done everything she could, the rest had been up to the agent. She hadn’t been personally responsible. Not like she had been with Liam. And, now with Lucy.

Liam had died because she hadn’t done the smart thing and just pulled over when he’d begun distracting her driving. Lucy was in a coma because she hadn’t done the smart and changed her passcodes after losing her computer to Jenova. These were her mistakes. Her responsibility. And she had no idea how to fix them.

* * *

Olivia had offered to stay by Lucy’s side at the medical wing when Helena had excused herself to go find Hunnigan after the other woman had been gone for a lot longer than she should’ve been. She perked up a little when Helena knocked on the door softly and asked Olivia to step out.

“She’s gone. She just... she left. I need you to find her,” Helena said.  
“I can’t do that,” Olivia said, closing the door quietly behind her after exiting Lucy’s room... not that it was likely the girl would’ve been disturbed by their conversation.

“What do you mean you can’t? You found her when she was abducted, do it again, I don’t want excuses,” Helena argued and Olivia sighed, hanging her head a little. She understood why Helena was upset, but she didn’t think she deserved to be at the receiving end of the agent’s wrath.

“You know what? You’re not mad at _me_ , so shut up!” Olivia yelled at her and to her surprise, it actually worked. Clearly, Helena hadn’t expected Olivia to snap back at her, she usually was the one who calmed the situation down, but even she had her limits.

“I found her before because she wanted me to find her! Do you honestly think that if Ingrid Hunnigan wants to disappear, anyone could find her? Give me a break,” Olivia added sharply.  
“I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that,” the younger woman apologized, “I just wish I knew if she’s okay,” she then muttered and ran a hand over her face tiredly. Olivia was right, she wasn’t mad at her, she was mad at herself... but mostly, at Hunnigan.

Running away in a situation like this and leaving behind nothing but a note wasn’t like her. It was something an irresponsible kid might do, but not someone like Hunnigan.

_Don’t worry about me._

As if she could not worry about her. Especially now.

“She’s fine, she just needs to be alone,” Olivia offered and Helena narrowed her eyes at the other woman, taking a step closer so slowly it was unintentionally menacing.  
“You know something, don’t you? Where is she?”

“I don’t know anything,” Olivia lied and turned to look away from Helena.  
“I need to—”

“No, you don’t! If you needed to know, she would’ve told you!” Olivia interrupted and took a step back, crossing her arms over her abdomen defiantly and pinching her lips shut tighter as if that would somehow keep her from talking even if Helena tried to force it out of her.

“Liv, please, I need to get her home.”  
“Jesus, woman, take a hint! You can’t fix everything just by snapping your fingers, she needs to be alone right now!” Olivia argued, shaking her head, “Besides, I don’t know where she is, I just have a number she told me to call if Lucy wakes up. And no, I will not give to you,” she added sternly. Helena exhaled deeply and sucked on her teeth before shrugging.

“Well, would you at least let her know that I miss her and would want her to come home?”  
“No.”

“Why the hell not?” Helena scoffed.  
“Because she told me to contact her only if I have any news about Lucy’s condition.”

“But—”  
“I said no, and that’s final. I’d rather face your wrath than hers,” Olivia said and with that, the matter was closed. They stood in silence until it was broken by Hunnigan’s phone ringing in Helena’s pocket. Helena swallowed hard when she saw it was Alix calling.

“Answer it!”  
“The hell I will, what am I supposed to say?” Helena frowned.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Olivia muttered, grabbed the phone and answered the call.  
“This is not the Chinese restaurant, stop calling!” she yelled in a heavy, ridiculous accent before ending the call.

“...what the hell was that?” Helena quirked an eyebrow, unable to keep from laughing a little.  
“I panicked!” Olivia sighed and as was to expected, the phone rang again shortly after. Helena rolled her eyes and snatched it back from Olivia, answering the call.

“Yeah... thanks, and to you too. Oh, she’s in the shower, I’ll tell her to call you back when she gets out. Okay. Great. Bye,” she lied and sighed heavily after ending the call.

“I did my part, now you call Hunnigan and tell her to call her mother and pretend she just got out of the shower,” Helena then said to Olivia who reluctantly went to make the call while Helena returned to the room where Lucy was in. Hunnigan had left Bear with her, the stuffed toy tucked between Lucy’s arm and her side.

“Come on, kid. You made it this far, pull through,” Helena whispered as she sat down, leaned her elbows to her knees and exhaled deeply. Lucy remained silent. Helena stared at the teddybear, and the realization hit her. She knew where Hunnigan was.

* * *

“Did Liv rat me out?” Hunnigan asked after answering the door and discovering Helena standing there.

“No, she was very adamant about not telling me anything and she kept her word, I’m here because I figured it out myself,” Helena commented and stepped inside, “I gotta admit, I wasn’t sure if I was right, but it was worth a shot,” she added and shut the door behind her. Hunnigan just shrugged one shoulder, crossed the room and slumped onto the bed.

“What are you doing?” Helena then asked, sighing deeply and put her hands on her hips as she paused to stand at the foot of the bed.  
“Honestly? I don’t know. I just had to get away from everyone and everything,” Hunnigan muttered.

“This isn’t like you.”  
“What the hell makes you an expert on what is or isn’t like me?” Hunnigan snapped suddenly and sat up furiously, “Why the hell do I have to live according to what you and everyone else expects of me rather than do what I want?”

“Then, what do you want?” Helena crossed her arms over her abdomen and shifted her weight onto her right leg. This wasn’t like Hunnigan, but this was necessary. She needed to get it all out, one way or another. She hadn’t realized it, but running away to take some time alone was just another way of shoving her feelings down.

Based on her personal experience, Helena could say that those emotions wouldn’t go away until you got over the need to hurt someone until they felt as bad as she did. In Helena’s case, it had been easier, she’d known exactly who to hurt and why. With Hunnigan... there was no one to blame, not really. No one other than herself maybe. Frankly, that was what worried Helena. Not that she’d ever gotten the suicide-vibe from Hunnigan, but she’d rather be safe than sorry.

“I want you to leave, I want to be alone.”  
“I can’t do that.”

“Yes, you can, it’s very simple! Turn around, take a few steps, open the door and get out!” Hunnigan yelled and Helena could tell that if she’d had something handy nearby, she would’ve thrown it at her.

“All right, then I _won’t_ do that,” Helena rephrased and went to face her when Hunnigan stood up, quite possibly contemplating on physically removing Helena from the room despite being aware that it would probably be a battle she wouldn’t be able to win; Helena was shorter, but she was solidly built, mostly out of muscle, it’d be a challenge to get her to budge if she didn’t want to move.

“So, what’s your plan? You’re just gonna stand there?” Hunnigan scoffed and Helena smiled ruefully, shaking her head a little.  
“No, I’m gonna take you home.”

“I don’t want to go home.”  
“Well, in that case, pour me a drink and pray that the woman from reception doesn’t catch me here with you or she’ll want to add the surcharge to your bill,” Helena said and shrugged off her jacket, making it perfectly clear that she wasn’t going anywhere.

“No, I don’t want you to—” Hunnigan began to protest, but couldn’t finish her sentence. Helena put her arms around her and tightened her grip on Hunnigan when the taller woman made a half-hearted effort to free herself before giving up and just slumping against Helena, inhaling her familiar scent –cigarettes and her cologne that had hints of orange peel and peppermint, mottled with the residue of “new car scent” left behind in her car from an air freshener that hadn’t hung from the mirror in years, but had left its mark on the interior of Helena’s –67 Impala and from there, continued to cling to anyone who sat in the car for long periods of time.

“You don’t want to hear this, but everything’s going to be okay,” Helena promised softly.  
“How?” Hunnigan scoffed through tears.

“The same way as always; we’ll figure it out and we’ll fix it, together.”

“Why do you have to be so...” Hunnigan began agitatedly, pulled away from the hug and shook her head, “...so... good!” she spat and punched Helena’s shoulder, the good one that she was relatively certain could withstand the hit. The younger woman grunted and took a step back.

“I’m not. You’re just feeling down and imagining it, I think we both know that you’re better,” Helena smirked and rubbed the spot Hunnigan had hit. Before she even knew what was happening, Hunnigan spun them around and shoved Helena so that she fell on her back onto the bed.

“What are you doing? You’re drunk, this isn’t what you really want, you’re not yourself,” Helena exclaimed quietly when Hunnigan moved to straddle her and began kissing down the side of her neck while bringing her hands to begin undoing the buttons of her shirt.

“Stop telling me that, you don’t know who I’m supposed to be,” Hunnigan argued. Helena put her hands over Hunnigan’s shoulders and gently but firmly pushed her up and sat up herself so that Hunnigan was left sitting on her lap.

“I would if you’d tell me,” she said, gripped Hunnigan’s wrists and forced her hands down, “Who are you?” she whispered and tilted her head back a little and Hunnigan sighed, leaning to rest her forehead against Helena’s.  
“A replica of me. Nobody,” she then said in a defeated tone and climbed off from Helena’s lap, sat on the edge of the bed and reached for the bottle of bourbon that was on the nightstand, a quarter of it gone.

Contrary to what Helena seemed to think, she wasn’t drunk. She had been last night, but today, she’d been mostly hungover and tired until she’d felt like finally opening up another bottle. How Leon made getting up the day after and picking up where he’d left off look so easy was beyond her. She was also beginning to think it was probably a serious problem for him and that it should be addressed... but this was not the time.

“Talk to me.”  
“I would if I had something to say,” Hunnigan muttered and drank from the bottle.

“So, you’d rather I just walk out that door and that’s it? After everything we’ve already been through, you want to just give up?”  
“What the hell do you want me to do?” Hunnigan asked, but her voice wasn’t anywhere near as full of fight as she would’ve wanted it to be.

“I want you to stop this fucking childish nonsense and pull yourself together!” Helena yelled, took the bottle away from Hunnigan and let it drop onto the floor, “I want you to come home! If it means I will have to literally carry you out of here kicking and screaming, I swear to God, I will if that’s what it’ll take, but this ends now!”

“Who the hell are you to decide that!” Hunnigan yelled back.  
“That’s it!” Helena growled through clenched teeth. She reached to put her arms around Hunnigan’s midsection and leaned her shoulder against Hunnigan for support, pushing up with her legs as she tried to lift Hunnigan off the bed.

“Let... go of me!” Hunnigan yelled and Helena was expecting to be elbowed in the back, but Hunnigan didn’t do that. Of course she didn’t, she wasn’t trained to react that way, had their roles been reversed, Helena was certain her muscle memory would’ve forced her to do exactly that whether she wanted to or not.

“I... told you..!” Helena grunted, still trying to get a decent grip on Hunnigan, but she threw herself backward, slipping from Helena’s hold and scampered across the bed, putting some distance between herself and the other woman. Helena jumped onto the bed and lunged at Hunnigan, but she evaded her once more, circling the bed and ending up on the opposite side again. Helena chased after her, tripping on the bottle of bourbon she’d dropped earlier and landed face first on the floor, getting the wind knocked out of her while Hunnigan slipped into the bathroom and locked the door.

Helena coughed and turned to lie on her back, aware of getting thoroughly drenched in the pool of bourbon soaked into the carpet, but she ignored that, needing to take a moment to be able to breathe again and finally stood up.

“Damn it, open this door or I will break it!” she threatened, figuring this was how the Big Bad Wolf must’ve felt like.  
“Go away!”

“Only if you’re coming with me!” Helena stated, took a step back and kicked the door. Hunnigan grunted at the impact she could feel through it as she leaned against it to keep it shut. The next impact was enough to send her a few inches away from the door and before she could get back to blocking it, Helena had already burst through it.  

Hunnigan attempted pushing past her, but she was fighting a losing battle; Helena caught her easily and gripped her firmly, Hunnigan managing to make her way back to the bed and throwing herself to lie on it limp, deciding that if she was going to get dragged out, she wouldn’t make it easy.

“This is ridiculous,” Helena huffed as she gave up trying to wrestle Hunnigan and moved to lie next to her.  
“I agree,” Hunnigan grumbled.

“Oh, great,” Helena then groaned when she saw the red and blue flash through the window, the colors washing over the room’s walls at a steady rhythm. A few moments later, there was a forceful knock on the door and an officer announced his presence. Helena stood up and answered the door.

“What do you want?” she sighed at the two officers standing there.  
“We got a call, someone heard yelling and arguing, just checking to make sure everything’s all right.”

“My wife’s having a tantrum. You know it is, holiday season, long drive up ahead, stopped to spend the night, had a few drinks, got into an argument. I spy a ring, so I imagine you know how it is,” Helena dismissed and crossed her arms, tucking her left hand under her right arm to hide the fact that she wasn’t wearing a ring.

“Ma’am, I’m gonna need you to step outside while my partner goes to confirm that your wife’s okay,” the unconvinced officer said while his partner was already entering the room. Obviously, asking had been just a courtesy, but Helena understood it. Frankly, she would’ve deemed them shitty cops if they hadn’t checked.

Helena shrugged and let them do their job, having to bite her lip to keep from chuckling a little at how annoyed Hunnigan sounded when she was being treated like she was potentially a damsel in distress.

“I’m fine, I don’t need you here!”  
“You’re absolutely sure it was just a verbal argument?”

“What kind of a stupid-ass question is that? Of course I’m sure! Go away, nothing happened!”  
“All right then. Just... keep it down and sleep it off,” the officer sighed and retreated.

“That goes for both of you,” his partner then told Helena, who hadn't even been drinking but undoubtedly smelled of bourbon thanks to tripping on the bottle and lying in the liquid that had then transferred from the carpet to her clothes.

“Sure thing, officer. Thanks. Merry Christmas,” Helena muttered, got back inside and shut the door as the officers got back into their vehicle.

“The wife is having a tantrum? Really, Helena?” Hunnigan scoffed then.  
“It worked, didn’t it? And it’s not like it was a complete lie,” the younger woman quirked an eyebrow and sat onto the bed next to Hunnigan.

“Why are we even fighting?” Hunnigan exhaled, her entire being deflating a little as she was obviously done arguing.  
“Because you’re trying to punish yourself and fighting with me would make you feel worse than you already do, which, ironically, would make you feel better,” Helena reasoned.

“I refuse to be that obvious,” the taller woman humphed and they both chuckled at that. Helena put her arm around Hunnigan’s shoulders and moved to lie down on the bed and Hunnigan gave into it, settling to rest her head on Helena’s chest.

“Well, I guess we just had our first fight,” Helena mumbled with a smile.  
“Was it bad for you too?” Hunnigan quipped and Helena laughed softly, kissed the top of Hunnigan’s head and nuzzled into her hair.

“Yeah, pretty much. But I gotta admit, I never in my life imagined that I’d ever be in a situation like this one... namely, wrestling you down and chasing you around a motel room,” Helena said, her smile audible in her voice.  
“I’m sorry. I know that this isn’t the way... but I don’t have... your faith. I can’t go to church and curse God or ask for forgiveness. What I have is me... myself, and I... and this is how I break down, this is what I do, and once I’m done beating myself up, I move on. It seems childish to you, and maybe it is, but it’s my process.”

“Sounds like you’ve done this before,” Helena commented, choosing to not get into a discussion about faith right now. She knew how Hunnigan felt about it, but they had an understanding regarding it. Helena wouldn’t try to convince Hunnigan to go to Mass with her and Hunnigan wouldn’t try to convince Helena to stop going, and that was it. While they had their differences, they didn’t judge each other, and frankly, everyone else in the world realizing to do the same would’ve solved a lot of problems.

“When Liam died. Only, back then, I didn’t have anyone as stubborn as you track me down and chase me around a motel room. Granted, maybe if that had been the case, I would’ve saved my parents from a lot of heartache.”  
“What did you do?” Helena frowned a little, trying to picture a teenaged renegade-version of Hunnigan, but not being able to conjure one up.

“Nothing too surprising or exciting. Just ran away and spent a week or two drinking and staying at friends’ houses until I figured it was time to go home. Nothing dramatic happened, other than the obvious verbal beating I got from my parents afterward,” Hunnigan shared.

“So, that’s your process, you run away.”  
“Pretty much. Mind you, it takes a lot for me to get to that point.”

“I’m not judging. My process involves homicidal rampages,” Helena smirked and Hunnigan chuckled ruefully before inhaling and exhaling deeply, pausing as the tears began to rise once more, and she couldn’t stop them.

“Hey,” Helena whispered.  
“What?” Hunnigan sniffled and wiped her eyes and then her nose with the back of her hand.

“I love you.”  
“I love you too.”

“...how about we spend the night and in the morning, I’ll take us home, okay?” Helena then said gently and kissed Hunnigan’s forehead before reaching to turn off the light.

“I’d like that,” she said and wrapped her arm around Helena tighter, and the other woman squeezed back. They were silent for a long moment and for a while, Helena thought Hunnigan had fallen asleep, but she spoke again softly then.

“...is it weird that I actually get a little turned on when I think about you kicking through that door?” she inquired awkwardly then, thinking it had to be strange because honestly, she felt that that sex probably should’ve been the last thing on her mind right now.

“I don’t think so, why should it be?” Helena shrugged one shoulder.  
“I don’t know. Just feels like it’s probably not a common reaction,” Hunnigan said quietly.

“Maybe it is, but nobody talks about it,” Helena suggested and pushed herself upward a little, resting her weight on her elbow and Hunnigan settled to lie on her back, running her fingers on Helena’s forearm when the younger woman reached to rest her hand on Hunnigan’s abdomen, gently stroking the skin with small movements of her thumb.

“...do you want to..?” she whispered softly in the dark.  
“... if you’re not too tired?”

Helena didn’t speak, instead she leaned further down and captured Hunnigan’s lips into a kiss; that was enough of an answer. They made love slowly, passionately, neither one being in a hurry to go anywhere or do anything other than to just take the time to enjoy each other and the moment of peace and comfort they felt only when they were together like this, even when the world outside was in a state of constant turmoil.

 

***


	22. Mothers and gods

* * *

 

“My mouth hurts,” Lucy muttered and Hunnigan scampered to her feet so quickly she almost fell over, and Helena exited the room to go inform the staff of the change in Lucy's status.  
“Luce, thank goodness you're awake!” Hunnigan exhaled in relief and reached to hug her a little bit, “How are you feeling?”

“I dreamt that I was driving a forklift in Alaska,” Lucy said and Hunnigan chuckled softly.  
“That sounds like something you’d do,” she said and sat on the edge of the bed. Lucy smiled tiredly and held up the teddybear she’d had tucked between her arm and her ribs.

“You can have Bear back now.”

“You hold onto him, someone needs to keep an eye on you when I’m not looking,” Hunnigan grinned and Lucy sat up slowly, hugging the teddybear to her chest. Oddly enough, Bear somehow seemed happier than usual. Hunnigan realized just how ridiculous the thought was, especially when it was coming from her, the ever-logical adult that she was... and especially since Bear was just a toy, incapable of looking any happier than he’d looked the day he’d been made and the everlasting thin V-shaped smile was sewn on his face.

“Wait, is there are camera inside him?” Lucy then questioned and held the bear up, turning it in her hands as she examined it, and Hunnigan chuckled.  
“Not that I know of, but wouldn’t that be an interesting plot twist.”

“Are you sure you want me to keep him? I know he’s important to you.”

“Good, then you’ll take excellent care of him, won’t you?” Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow, “Consider it a birthday present until I have a chance to get you something decent,” she then added the moment the doctor and Helena entered the room.

“Birthday? I’ve been out for that long?”  
“Yep, only a year away from sweet sixteen,” Hunnigan offered a lopsided smile and moved aside when the doctor leaned over Lucy to check her up.

“So, you’re fifteen now?” he asked, frowning a little before telling Lucy to follow his pen with her eyes and then peeked into her mouth before straightening up and grabbing her file from the foot of the bed.  
“Well, yeah, close to anyway, we don’t know my exact birthday so I just picked New Year’s day because it’s easy to remember,” Lucy explained as the doctor browsed her file.

“Is something wrong?” Hunnigan asked, noticing the doctor’s somewhat odd behavior.  
“Well, no, but you’re not fifteen, you’re at least seventeen, possibly older,” he answered, directing his words to Lucy.

“What? How is that possible?” Helena frowned.  
“Lucy’s age was determined from X-rays by the staff on duty when she was brought in, based on her tooth formation and that her growth plates have been replaced by epiphyseal seals, she’s estimated at seventeen here,” he said, tapping his finger against Lucy’s file.

“...so, does that mean I’m not gonna grow any taller?” Lucy asked sounding genuinely disappointed as if that were her only concern, and the doctor chuckled a little.  
“Pretty much, yeah,” he confirmed.

“Well, at least I’m still taller than mom.”  
“We’re gonna run some thorough tests to make sure everything’s okay, and when we’re done, you’re free to go home,” the doctor then smiled and exited the room.

“I suppose it makes sense my owners would lie about my age, the clientele preferred us young,” Lucy then muttered and Hunnigan grunted internally at the mere mention of “the owners”. She’d never hated anyone with such passion as she hated those people and their kind.

“I guess we owe you a couple of years’ worth of birthday presents then, huh?” Helena jested, trying to lighten the mood after noticing how dark it had gotten within seconds.  
“And Christmas presents!” Lucy was onboard immediately.

A nurse entered the room with a wheelchair and instructed Lucy to take a seat. The young woman protested, stating that she was perfectly capable of walking, but it was policy, patient weren’t allowed to walk.  
“Make a list of presents while they’re poking at you,” Helena teased.

“I want a unicorn and you’re in charge of getting me one,” Lucy called out over her shoulder as she was being wheeled out.

“Thank God she’s all right,” Helena then said quietly and Hunnigan nodded her head, unable to think of anything to say. While she didn’t believe in God, not the way Helena seemed to believe anyway, she did believe in miracles; after everything she’d been through recently she found herself almost having to believe in those.

However, she did also have to wonder how many of those could she possibly have left. Most people were lucky if they got one miracle during their life... Hunnigan had spent several in just the past few months. Maybe it was all about the point of view. Maybe people lived through miracles every day but never realized it because they hadn’t even known how close they’d gotten to having their lives thrown into chaos, but then a little miracle had happened in the background and changed the course of events. Hunnigan had been able to count her miracles because she’d witnessed them.

_If we knew how many times we almost die every day, we’d go crazy._

“Are you okay?” Helena then asked and put her arm around Hunnigan’s waist and pulled her closer.  
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she assured the younger woman, pressing her side against Helena’s and heaving a heavy sigh.

“Now I just worry what she remembers about what happened. And what to tell our parents.”  
“I doubt Lucy has any interest on spilling the beans regarding the truth even if she does remember everything.”

“That’s not it; what troubles me is the fact that she got a taste of killing and that she probably liked it. She has tendencies... I mean, she doesn’t run around mutilating stray cats... as far as I know, but she does have a certain lack of empathy that’s pretty obvious at times,” Hunnigan explained.

“I guess I understand... and I know that once you have passed the point of being one hundred percent prepared to take a life, going over that line again in the future becomes easier... even if you don’t have ‘tendencies’,” Helena mumbled.

“Exactly why I’m worried,” Hunnigan sighed, pushed her glasses to her forehead and pinched the bridge of her nose.  
“Look... I think Lucy’s a good kid, she just needs to find something useful to put her energy into.”

“What, like Dexter?” Hunnigan scoffed amusedly and Helena had to chuckle a little too.  
“Well, why not? It worked out pretty well for him.”

“Because he is a fictional character and the show revolved around him, of course it would work out for him.”  
“You’re missing my point. What I’m saying is... that in a couple of years, she’ll be old enough to—”

“No!” Hunnigan suddenly snapped over Helena’s words, and shook her head, “Lucy will _not_ become an agent!”  
“Why not? I mean, if she’d want to.”

“Oh, she’d want to, but no.”  
“Again... why not? If Leon starts training her now, by the time she’s old enough to be recruited, she’ll be more than a capable field agent. And I don’t need to tell you how badly we need capable field agents.”

“You don’t understand at all, do you?” Hunnigan sighed and slumped to sit on the bed.  
“How could I when you never tell me anything?” Helena asked back and sat next to her, waiting patiently for Hunnigan to speak up.

“When I was a kid, I took our universal remote control and reprogrammed it, and I’d sneak up to the neighbor’s window and start changing the channel of their TV or turning their stereo on randomly. I thought it was funny,” she began and Helena nodded slowly, not sure where exactly this was going, but having to admit she quite enjoyed hearing even someone like Hunnigan had gotten up to some michief as a child.

“They thought their house was possessed and called in an exorcist.”

“What, really?” Helena laughed a little, “I mean, I’m pretty Catholic, but even I don’t believe in that kind of stuff. Or that the world is only a couple of thousand years old, there are some things that even I don’t agree with,” she added then. Hunnigan didn’t comment, but had to admit she was glad to hear it, the last thing she wanted or needed was getting into arguments about faith with Helena.

“Obviously that didn’t work because the ‘demon’ was me, and eventually they moved out because they got too scared to live in their house. I didn’t realize my actions could ever lead to that because I was just a stupid kid playing a prank and had no idea that what I was doing could have such severe consequences. That’s also when I learned that doing something like that makes me feel pretty God damn shitty.”

“Were they at least bad neighbors?”  
“Not that I know of. My point is... that happened a quarter of a century ago...”

“When you put it like that, you make it sound like a lot longer than twenty-five years,” Helena interjected and jabbed her elbow into Hunnigan’s ribs softly, and Hunnigan smiled, but didn’t comment on it. She could’ve pointed out that she’d been terrorizing her neighbors before Helena had even been born, but that only made her consider their age difference, and frankly, that could get pretty depressing, she’d rather not get into that right now.

“...it happened a long time ago, but I still remember the guilt and that feeling is what keeps me from doing such things even now. Lucy doesn’t have that.”

“Maybe she just hasn’t been through her equivalent of what you went through.”  
“Maybe. Or maybe, if given the chance to be a monster, she would like being a monster.”

“Are you calling field agents monsters?” Helena teased and Hunnigan scoffed a little.  
“You know what I mean.”

“I do, but I also know that if she really has no remorse and would like being a villain, there’s nothing anyone could do to change that. But, giving her an opportunity to do something good with it might make a difference.”

“Which brings us to the second reason I don’t want her to become a field agent. It’s bad enough for me to have to sit and watch when agents that I consider just colleagues are on the field, risking getting hurt and I can’t help them, not really. It’s even worse when it’s someone I love; I get worried enough when it’s you out there. It’s selfish, I know, but I don’t want to add any more to that.”

“I understand that. But, as we’ve established, this is work that needs to be done, no matter what the risks.”

“I know, I know... Look, can we just... not go into this any further right now? It’s been a rough few days as it is, and I’d like to take a break from having to deal with everything,” Hunnigan then requested, exhaled deeply and hung her head a little.

“You’re right.”  
“Plus, with what the doctor said about Lucy’s age, I’m gonna have to let my parents know and get started on correcting Lucy’s age on all of her paperwork.”

“True... but, uhm... what are you gonna tell them when they ask how this came up and why Lucy was in the hospital?” Helena inquired awkwardly and Hunnigan sat up straight, her mouth hanging slightly open as she began to answer, but realized she had no answer.

“Oy.”

Their pondering was interrupted by the sound of both of them receiving a message. Helena and Hunnigan glanced at each other. Both, an F.O.S. agent and a field agent getting a message simultaneously was rarely a good sign. Mentally preparing herself, Helena opened the message first.

_It’s a boy!_ Leon’s text announced, followed by a photo of a baby with a full head of light brown hair.

_Congratulations! He looks just like his dad, passed out and drooling._

* * *

Hunnigan leaned her chin in the cup of her palm, resting the weight of her head on her elbow as she scrolled through another page of the reports she’d been reading. The doctors had declared Lucy as good as new, but her physical well-being wasn’t Hunnigan’s main concern at the moment. Lucy hadn’t displayed any new tendencies after the incident, not as far as Hunnigan could tell, but she had noticed the younger woman occasionally seemed... different.

She’d used the master plaga to take control over the Lickers... who had once been people. A hive-mind with Lucy as the reigning queen. What if even after the physical link had been severed, some of these thoughts and memories, the remnants of who those Lickers had been when they’d been human, remained within Lucy?

So far Hunnigan hadn’t found anything that would support her theory, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t possible. There’d once been a time when no one had known the Lickers could even be controlled like that, who was to say Lucy wouldn’t be the first of her kind in this?

Hunnigan indulged in some worst case scenarios. If there was some remnant of a mental link, what if it would manifest as voices in Lucy’s head? What if there’d been mental contamination which would result in Lucy’s personality getting buried under the ghosts who’d taken residence in Lucy’s mind and inhabited her now? Hunnigan admitted that all this was far-fetched... but then again, walking on the moon had once seemed far-fetched, but it had happened (at least unless you were inclined to think it was a conspiracy staged for the purpose of winning the Space Race).

“I’m being ridiculous,” Hunnigan muttered to herself.

“This was so much easier when you were a child,” Alix commented from the door and Hunnigan raised her gaze from the laptop. Her mother stood in the doorway with her arms folded over her abdomen, an amused smile on her lips.

“When you stayed up reading past your bed time as a child, all I had to do was to take away your flashlight... or, occasionally, the lightbulb,” Alix explained and Hunnigan sat up on the bed, chuckling at the memory of the countless of times Alix had confiscated her light source.

“I couldn’t just stop reading in the middle of a chapter, I was worried that I’d miss the adventures the characters would go on while I wasn’t reading,” Hunnigan explained innocently.  
“Nowadays I’d have to take away your charger, huh?”

“And even that wouldn’t help for a while, depending on how full the battery is.”  
“Exactly. See, I can’t win, can I?” Alix smirked.

“Sure you can,” Hunnigan began and shut the laptop, “because I’ve finally gotten old enough to realize that you were always right,” she smiled and got up from her bed... well, technically, it was Lucy’s bed now, this hadn’t been Hunnigan’s room in a long time, but you wouldn’t have necessarily known that when looking at it; aside from a few personal items here and there, everything was the way she’d left it when she’d moved out. Lucy hadn’t changed anything, and she wouldn’t. Hunnigan’s room was sacred as far as Lucy was concerned.

Posters of star charts and planets from the time when Hunnigan had wanted to be an astronaut were still there. Worn paperback books featuring scifi-stories were still there. A stack of cassette tapes full of songs she’d worked hard to record from the radio (going through countless fits of rage when the DJ’d had the audacity to interrupt the song by speaking over it) were still there, as were the VHS tapes with Hunnigan’s favorite cartoons on them.

Lucy had never had a real childhood, and when she’d been brought here, brought home... she’d grown up in this room, surrounded by these same things, emulating Hunnigan because she trusted her and had always liked her. Despite the age difference, they’d essentially had the same childhood.

“I wanted to talk to you about Lucy,” Alix then said, her words bringing Hunnigan back to reality from the deep well of her thoughts as she and Hunnigan headed downstairs and into the kitchen. Lance was out teaching Lucy how to drive and Helena had stayed back at home to work with Olivia on the agents’ schedules, so Alix and Hunnigan (and Shepard, the family dog of course), were the only ones in the house.

“What about her?” Hunnigan asked somewhat awkwardly, internally struggling between just coming clean about what had really happened, arguing being honest over keeping up the ruse.  
“She’s been talking non-stop about wanting to become an agent ever since she learned she’s seventeen,” Alix began and went to the fridge.

“I hate to burst your bubble, mom, but she’s been hinting at it for a lot longer than two weeks,” Hunnigan smirked and took a seat at the kitchen table, reaching her hand down to pet Shepard when the dog went to her and rested her muzzle on Hunnigan’s thigh.

“I get the feeling that you don’t approve,” Alix commented and took out a bottle of cola and went to fix herself a rum and coke.  
“And you do?” Hunnigan scoffed and then shrugged a little, giving her mother the “well, why not”-gesture when Alix held up the bottle, silently offering to fix Hunnigan a drink too.

“There are worse things she could be doing, and she seems genuinely interested in being an agent,” Alix said, placed the drinks on the table and took a seat.  
“Please, don’t tell me you’re encouraging her.”

“Someone has to,” Alix said, her tone nonchalant and innocent, but Hunnigan didn’t miss the spike Alix barely bothered to veil. Hunnigan didn’t comment, instead she took a sip of her drink and continued petting Shepard.

“You know she’s going to do it anyway, you might as well support her, because if you don’t she’ll end up resenting you over nothing... and who knows, perhaps she’ll change her mind in college and decides to do something else, but if not... then be happy she’s found something she loves doing. I never wanted you to become an agent.”

“I never knew that,” Hunnigan muttered.  
“Exactly and Lucy shouldn't know you don't want her to become an agent,” Alix smirked and drank from her glass, "I'm not telling you to blindly support every hare-rained idea she has, but pick your battles, sweetheart. You gotta let kids make their own mistakes."

“It’s not that I don’t want to support her, it’s just that... I’m scared. I don’t even know why exactly, I mean... if anyone could handle herself as an agent it would be Lucy, but...” Hunnigan trailed off and shook her head, sighing deeply.

“You’re scared of being a bad mother,” Alix shrugged and Hunnigan guffawed at that.  
“Are you drunk already? Because that makes no sense, I’m not Lucy’s mother.”

“No, you’re not, not on paper, but regardless of that, you’re much more a mother to her than you are a sister, you and I both know that. And now, Lucy’s grown up practically overnight and all of a sudden it’s like you don’t even know who she is anymore because the kid that she was is gone, and you have no way of knowing for sure that you didn’t screw up while raising her,” Alix said, sipped her drink and crossed a leg over the other, resting her arm on the table then, her gestures familiar to Hunnigan. That was Alix’s way of saying she was done talking and she knew she was right, but if you wanted to challenge her, now was your turn. Unsurprisingly, Hunnigan couldn’t think of anything to comment.

Maybe her concern regarding Lucy’s mental health and personality after she’d used the plaga were just Hunnigan’s way to dig her way closer to the truth, which was what Alix had said. Thinking Lucy’d changed because of what had happened to her just recently was more obvious than the alternative; Lucy hadn’t changed, but the way Hunnigan was now seeing her and thinking of her had.

“Why are you always right about everything?” Hunnigan narrowed her eyes at Alix.  
“‘Cuz I’m your mama,” Alix answered in a thick, phony Italian Brooklyn accent, and Hunnigan burst out laughing so loudly she startled Shepard.

“And for the record, you didn’t do anything wrong and you didn’t screw her up, instead you gave an example she wants to follow. You always wanted to save everyone, even if it’s impossible. But you saved Lucy and who knows how many others, it’s no wonder she wants to follow in your footsteps,” Alix then said, sans the accent.

“I know... and I also know that she’d actually be very good at it if given the chance,” Hunnigan sighed.  
“Then why are you so against it? I mean, other than the obvious reason why anyone would be against a loved one wanting to do a job that involved the possibility of getting killed...”

“Mom... It’s more than just that.”  
“What do you mean?” Alix frowned.

_I mean that if she gets infected, she is going to have to be put down like a rabid animal. Or, she might have to put down an infected team mate, and I worry that she might actually enjoy doing it, and I don’t want to have to witness any of it, I don’t want her in this part of my life._

“I mean... that we need to get more drinks because I have to talk to you about something very serious,” Hunnigan said slowly and Alix could tell from her tone this could not be good. Without questioning Hunnigan further, Alix retrieved the bottle of rum and the cola from the counter, poured them both drinks and left the bottles on the table so that they could mix more drinks if and when the need would come up.

“Last summer... when the President died. Do you remember the rumors about the zombies?”  
“How could I forget?”

“Well... it happened. Exactly like that,” Hunnigan began slowly and continued to tell the truth about what she did, where she did it and what for. She told Alix about what had happened in Sakana and about everything that had happened since; the abduction, almost getting blown up, almost dying of cardiac arrest, the truth about what Lucy had done... everything, and once she was done, she found herself unconsciously mimicking Alix’s gesture; she crossed a leg over the other, her chin slightly elevated, resting back in her chair in an almost casual manner, her entire being saying “your move.”

Alix inhaled deeply, interlaced her fingers and leaned her arms to the table.

“That’s... quite a lot to digest,” she finally spoke.  
“Believe me, I know.”

“...but, it’s not like I’m completely surprised. I always knew you were involved in more than you led on.”  
“How?”

“Because I’m your mother, mothers and God know everything. In that order.”  
“I don’t believe in God.”

“Good, then there’s no one bigger than me in your belief system.”  
“I hope you appreciate the irony of you saying that,” Hunnigan remarked, both of them aware of the fact that Alix was shorter than average.

“Consider me a tiny yapper-type dog; what I lack in size, I make up for in viciousness,” Alix smirked.

"...jokes aside... what I'm saying is that you are the God and the mother as far as Lucy is concerned. You might not approve of what she wants to do with her life... it'll scare you and you'll worry... but at the end of the day, you know that the one thing you really want is for her to be happy, even if it means having to step aside and bite your tongue when your kid does some soul searching to find out what she really wants," she then continued softly, and while Hunnigan didn't exactly agree with Alix's way of calling Lucy "her kid", she admitted Alix was right.

All Hunnigan had ever wanted was for Lucy to be happy, even if it would mean having to worry about her. She owed it to Lucy. After all, unconditional love and support were the only kind Lucy had ever given Hunnigan, she knew the least she could do was to give the exact same in return, if not more.

 

***


	23. Little talks

“It’s not that I don’t want Lucy to be happy, but it’s... the same as it is with Helena. I’m terrified of losing her every time she is deployed. I don’t want to have to worry about that with Lucy too,” Hunnigan sighed and ran a hand over her face. She’d lost track of time and the amount of drinks she’d consumed, but she was sure she’d had a bit too much to drink, and she was certain the conversation was going in circles.

“Stop.”  
“I’m sorry! It’s selfish, I know perfectly well how selfish it is, but I can’t...!”

“Jimmy, I understand,” Alix interrupted gently, “I understand better than you know. In case you forgot, I see the worst of what happens to people and what they are capable of doing to each other every day,” she said and Hunnigan nodded slowly, agreeing that a medical examiner was probably the one person in the world who would know perfectly.

“I also happen to be married to an amazing man whom I love so much it makes my chest ache, and every day he goes off to work, there’s a real chance he could die, that I could lose him forever, and every morning I kiss him goodbye and tell him to have a good day at work, I wonder if it’s the last time I’ll ever see him,” she continued and Hunnigan bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling and revealing her exact mood with that child-like little movement that came over whenever one was about to cry.

She didn’t want to think about losing either one of her parents, or her siblings, she didn’t want to think about losing Helena, or Leon, or Olivia, or anyone else. As smart and rational as she was, she intentionally and happily lived in complete denial when it came to accepting that one day, she would lose someone, that it was inevitable.

 _Not to me,_ she thought, as if it was a simple matter of her just choosing to say “no, thank you” to loss. She inhaled deeply through her nose and straightened up, pushing the tears back and, to her surprise, succeeded at it.

“But even so, I wouldn’t ask him to stay. I want to, believe me, I do... but I don’t because even if he were here, safe and sound, right next to me, it’s not where his heart would be, and at the end of the day, he would resent me for demanding he stays. He needs to go out and save people, it’s in his blood, asking him to not do it would be like asking him not to breathe.”

“Mom...”

“And that is what it’s like if you tell Lucy she can’t do this... or if you try telling Helena to stay,” Alix interrupted gently, “I didn’t want you to become an agent, and if you’d just done everything I would’ve wanted you to do just to spare my heart, you probably would’ve grown to hate me for holding you back.”

“...I know...”

“The hardest thing about loving someone is having to accept that you can’t protect them from the world forever. You can try, but you’ll end up getting hurt or hurting them. So... as difficult as it is... let Lucy make her own decisions and her own mistakes. Pick her up and dust her off when she stumbles, try to talk her out of the craziest and dumbest ideas, but if that doesn’t work... you have to let her go and still be willing to save her when it all goes wrong, and you have to be willing to do it without saying ‘I told you so’ at the end of the day. Welcome to motherhood, it’s a girl, and it’s a teenager,” Alix chuckled and clinked her glass against Hunnigan’s.

“I still don’t agree about me being the mom,” Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow and sipped her drink.

“Have you and Helena thought about having kids?”  
“Mom, please,” Hunnigan scoffed.

“What? Don’t get me wrong, I love Nina and her kids, but I won’t lie, I’d always hoped you’d be the one who made me a grandmother.”

“Well, based on how you insist Lucy’s _my_ kid, then congrats, it’s a girl, and it’s a teenager,” Hunnigan mimicked Alix’s earlier statement sarcastically and finished her drink. Without asking, Alix poured her another one and Hunnigan knew she should’ve said no thank you, but since it was already there...

“I know, I know, parents aren’t supposed to have favorites, especially not considering my situation, but honestly, you were always my favorite. You were my little baby girl! Oh, God, when Lance brought you home, I swear my heart exploded a little.”

“Okay,” Hunnigan chuckled awkwardly.  
“Look, it’s not like I don’t genuinely love your sisters, of course I do! But, as I said, you were my baby.”

“All right, mom,” Hunnigan muttered and offered a lopsided smile. She really didn’t want to discuss this, it made her feel uncomfortable. Alix could easily see that and decided to change the subject. Not that her follow-up was something Hunnigan felt comfortable discussing either, really.

“So, how are you and Helena? How’s your sex life?”  
“Mom, please!” Hunnigan scoffed and buried her face into her hand.

“Oh, loosen up, it’s not like I want dirty details, I’m just asking to make sure you’re both taken care of, because the people who claim that their relationship didn’t fall apart because of bad sex are liars,” Alix shrugged nonchalantly and took a long sip from her drink.

“Well, let’s just say that if my relationship with Helena falls apart, it will most likely _not_ be because of bad sex. We’re both very well taken care of as far as that area of our relationship goes,” Hunnigan explained, finished her drink and held her hand over her glass to prevent Alix from refilling it once more.

“That’s good to hear. So, about those babies...”  
“You do realize that no matter how good my sex life with Helena is, we can’t get pregnant just like that?” Hunnigan interrupted with a smirk and Alix rolled her eyes.

“Well, I’ve heard of stranger things happening, like, say... zombie apocalypses,” she smirked back and Hunnigan laughed softly.  
“Be that as it may, Helena and I haven’t been together for very long, I don’t even know what her favorite color is, so you can imagine the topic of having kids has not come up,” she explained and Alix rolled her eyes a little.

“It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for a day or for a year, when it’s the right person, you know.”  
“We’ve been together for barely three months, and you know I don’t believe in the idea of there being ‘The One’, let alone in the other myths that come with that belief.”

“Are you sure about that?” Alix teased and Hunnigan sighed. No, she wasn’t sure, if anything, it was the opposite. If there ever was someone she was willing to even consider believing was The One, that person was Helena.

“I don’t understand why you keep being so adamant about not believing in true love. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about and it’s not childish, even rational adults like you are allowed to wear pair of pink, heart-shaped glasses,” Alix then said.

“Oh, it’s not that,” Hunnigan shook her head, “and it’s not like I haven’t been in love before. Admittedly, everything does feel more... meaningful with Helena, that’s the only way I know how to explain it, but... that doesn’t change the fact that I have realistic expectations.”

“Uh-huh...” Alix quirked and eyebrow and Hunnigan sighed, leaning her forearms to the table as she tried to think of a way to word it.  
“All right, look... the way I see it, being in love is like floating in the air, but... eventually, something will bring you back to the ground, and that’s when the real work starts, when being in love becomes simply... love. If that makes any sense.”

“It does. But I can tell you from experience that you don’t have to keep your feet on the ground all the time. Of course there’s going to be boring times, mundane daily routine, arguments, but that’s what it’s supposed to be like, arguments or some boredom aren’t a sign saying that ‘this is the part where you run away’.”

“I don’t do that.”  
“No? Remind me again why all your previous relationships ended,” Alix teased a little and Hunnigan scoffed.

“Because I didn’t want those people in my boring, daily routine. They were the distraction from it for me, and when they became too familiar, I ended it. Sounds kind of cold when I put it like that, huh?” Hunnigan muttered, the realization hitting her only now, she’d never thought about it before. Not that it mattered now, she knew she’d done herself and her exes a big favor by walking out when she had rather than string them along and let them think everything was going just fine.

“I didn’t run away, if anything, I chased people away.”  
“Are you planning on chasing Helena away too when you get bored of her?” Alix inquired, her eyebrow quirking high.

“Honestly, I don’t think I could ever get bored of her,” Hunnigan muttered and a victorious smile spread on Alix’s lips.  
“And so, I believe I just made my point and don’t you try denying it; Helena is The One. End of discussion.”

“Fine, let’s say I agree, what exactly was the point of this entire debate, what did you win?” Hunnigan frowned then.  
“Nothing, I just enjoy being right,” Alix laughed mischievously.

* * *

Hunnigan entered the dark and silent apartment quietly, took off her shoes and peeled off her jeans and jacket before proceeding to unbutton her shirt as she made her way up the stairs. She left her glasses on the nightstand and shrugged her shirt off before moving to the foot of the bed.

Helena lay on her stomach on the bed, fully asleep and Hunnigan smiled at the sight of her before moving to straddle the other woman’s legs and leaned forward then. She moved Helena’s hair to the side and planted soft, tiny kisses on the back of her neck, slowly making her way further down over the subtle hills of Helena’s well-muscled back and shoulders.

“You’re home late,” Helena mumbled into the pillow sleepily.  
“I know, I’m sorry I didn’t call, I lost track of time, I was chatting and drinking with mom.”

“Sounds like fun,” Helena chuckled softly and hummed approvingly at the little love bites Hunnigan left on her shoulder blade before continuing to trail her lips across Helena’s back.

“I told her everything. She took it surprisingly well. Almost too well, really,” Hunnigan muttered against Helena’s skin and moved to lie on top of her then, resting her head on Helena’s upper back, the side of her face pressed against the spot between Helena’s shoulder blades.

“Well, I doubt the outbreaks are as big a secret as we’d like to think, I suppose on some level everyone knows, but they just lack confirmation,” Helena suggested.  
“Probably,” Hunnigan said, “You smell good,” she then said and Helena chuckled at that.

“I probably smell like dried sweat, I didn’t have the time or the energy to shower after I got home from work,” she said.

“Well, then I apparently like the way your sweat smells. That doesn’t sound weird at all, does it?” Hunnigan chuckled sarcastically and moved to lie next to Helena, pressed herself firmly against the younger woman and snuggled into her chest as Helena wrapped her arm around Hunnigan and ran her fingers through her hair.

“You’re kind of adorable when you’re drunk.”  
“It’s not my fault I’m drunk, I had to keep up with mom and she can drink so much rum she makes a ship full of pirates look like amateurs when it comes to drinking,” Hunnigan defended her state and Helena chuckled.

“And for the record, no, it doesn’t sound weird, it’s just nature.”  
“I don’t know what that means,” Hunnigan frowned.

“It means that liking the way another person smells is mother nature’s way of saying ‘go ahead, you’re genetically different enough, you would have healthy offspring’. At least that’s what I remember Olivia once telling me, so it must be true,” Helena explained and laughed a little.

Hunnigan knew this would’ve been the perfect opportunity to bring up the subject of having kids, but as she contemplated on it for a moment, she came to realized she herself didn’t have an answer for the question either if Helena would ask her. Bringing it up would be pointless.

“You know, as I was talking with mom and listing all the things that have happened to me recently... I realized just how short a time we’ve actually been together. I mean, it feels like it’s been longer than just a few months,” she said instead.

“I know, it feels like that for me too. Maybe it’s because we’d known each other for a couple of years before we actually got together,” Helena suggested.  
“Maybe,” Hunnigan nodded, “I just know that what you said to me once about our relationship being different, and how you could imagine yourself doing everything with me... I don’t think I ever told you I feel the same way... and I want everything with you.”

“And I want to give you everything,” Helena smiled and leaned to kiss Hunnigan softly.  
“Hm, no, that’s not what I meant,” Hunnigan broke the kiss reluctantly, “I don’t want you to give me anything, I want to _have_ everything _with_ you, not _receive_ things _from_ you, I’m... not making any sense, am I?” she tried explaining and grumbled. Why was it so difficult to express with words when it was such an obvious feeling and a clear thought in her mind?

“Yeah, not really, but I think I get your point,” Helena said and Hunnigan sighed a little, still wishing she could’ve just found the right words, but for now, it seemed this would have to do.

“Let’s go away together,” she then said.  
“Where to?” Helena chuckled.

“Well, you wanted to go to Canada, we could go there.”  
“Are we retiring?” Helena teased.

“Just for a long weekend. My parents have a cottage there, near a lake, kind of secluded... we might even see some Northern lights if we’re lucky. What do you think?”  
“Are you kidding? Of course I want to go,” Helena responded with a smile.

“Good! Plus, then I could fulfill my life long fantasy about fooling around in the outdoor hot tub...” Hunnigan grinned.  
“You do realize your parents have probably had sex in it?”

“Augh!” Hunnigan yelled and shoved at Helena’s shoulder, “Why would you say that and ruin it for me forever!” she exclaimed and shuddered at the mental image.  
“Well, you gotta admit, it’s a bit of a cliché,” Helena teased.

“I’m allowed to enjoy clichés!” Hunnigan said and sat up, grabbed a pillow and hit Helena with it. The younger woman laughed heartily, put her arm around Hunnigan’s midsection and rolled herself over ontop of Hunnigan.  
“I’m sorry,” she said and leaned to kiss Hunnigan’s lips softly, “I’ll make it up to you,” she then promised, trailing her lips over to Hunnigan’s neck, continuing further down to softly nibble at her collarbones.

“Helena...” Hunnigan exhaled quietly and sunk her fingers into the younger woman’s hair.  
“Hmm?”

“Can you make it up to me tomorrow? I’m really tired and I’d prefer being able to stay awake to enjoy it,” she said.  
“It’s a deal,” Helena smiled and moved to lie back down, Hunnigan settling to rest her head on Helena’s shoulder, wrapping her arm around the other woman’s body and nuzzling into the side of her neck, falling asleep inhaling her scent, feeling completely at ease and relaxed in a way she hadn’t in a long while.

* * *

When Hunnigan began to slowly wake up, she could’ve sworn she heard the distant sound of a baby cooing. She decided she must’ve been dreaming, her subconscious having conjured that up because of the conversation she’d had with her mother last night, but when she heard Olivia speak, she came to the conclusion that she was indeed awake.

“I wonder if Leon’s tasted Claire’s breast milk.”

 _Oh, God, can I not be awake?_ Hunnigan groaned internally and began to slowly get up.

“That cannot possibly be a thing,” Helena laughed.  
“It is! There’s even a milk bar in Japan where guys can buy breast milk.”

“What, like, nursing mothers bottle their milk and sell it at the bar?”  
“Oh, no, honey, you drink it straight from the source,” Olivia said.

“...wow. Also, I dread to ask, but why the hell do you know so much about things like that?”  
“I honestly have no idea, I just do. It’s like my mind is a piece of tape and random information like that is lint that sticks to it.”

“Sounds horrible.”  
“It’s horrible only to those who have to listen to me talk about all the random weird things I know,” Olivia chuckled mischievously, “Okay, I’m off, Claire and Leon should be here to pick him up in a few,” she then said.

“Have fun,” Helena smiled as Olivia exited the apartment and Hunnigan headed downstairs to see what was going on.

She had to smile at the sight that greeted her in the living room. Helena sat leaning back on the couch, her feet on the coffee table as she flipped through various shows on Netflix, trying to decide what to watch. A baby was sat next to her, leaning back against her arm that was wrapped around his tiny body for support, his head tilted backward, resting against Helena’s bicep as he stared up at her, smiling happily and every now and then making a quiet cooing sound.

“How long was I asleep?” Hunnigan jested and Helena chuckled softly.

“This is Seeley,” Helena introduced the baby boy, “Leon and Claire went looking at houses and Olivia was supposed to babysit, but she had a date and Leon and Claire got held up, so I said I’d look after him until they get back. You don’t mind, do you?” she then asked.

“Of course not, he seems harmless enough,” Hunnigan smiled and went to get a drink of water from the kitchen. Considering how much rum she’d drank last night, she was amazed she didn’t feel any worse than this.

“He looks so much like Leon it’s absurd,” Hunnigan then commented as she went to take a seat next to Helena and Seeley on the couch. He glanced over at her but almost immediately returned his attention to Helena then, continuing to stare up at her.

“I know, right? But at least there’s absolutely no doubt he’s the dad. Not that I’m implying there should’ve been.”  
“You two seem to be getting along well,” Hunnigan then commented with a smile.

“It’s the big boobs, babies and animals see me as something nice and soft to cozy up against,” Helena smirked.  
“Well, they’re not wrong,” Hunnigan pointed out innocently, having to admit she’d found herself enjoying resting her head on Helena’s chest a lot more than she’d imagined she would.

“Why, thank you,” Helena chuckled. The doorbell rang and Hunnigan went to answer it, letting Leon and Claire in.

“Perfect timing!” Helena said, picked up the baby into her arms and walked over to Leon, “Someone wants his diaper changed!” she then said in a sing-songy voice.

“Is that someone you?” Leon laughed and took the baby into his arms.  
“Yes, yes it is,” Helena confirmed and gave him directions to the bathroom before handing him the diaper bag.

“Do you guys want some coffee or something?” Hunnigan offered as Leon headed upstairs, and Claire shook her head.

“No, but thanks,” she smiled.  
“How was house hunting?” Helena then inquired.

“Disappointing,” Claire sighed, “The first house we went to see had obviously been used as a litterbox for the past twenty years. The second one was on the verge of collapsing, I don’t think there were any supporting walls left after the previous owners’ remodeling projects.”

“I had no idea it was that bad,” Hunnigan said.  
“Me neither until we started looking,” Claire said, shaking her head a little.

“So, how’s life been since motherhood?” Helena then inquired and Claire chuckled a little.

“It’s been good, but... I think Leon is dealing with retiring better than I am. I don’t know how to explain it exactly, but... as much as I really enjoy just being with him and our son, whenever I see there’s a situation that I could help fix, I get the urge to run out and make a difference. I guess... Leon was hoping I’d get over that once the baby was born,” Claire explained ruefully.

“Maybe, but becoming a mother doesn’t mean you stop being who you were before that, I’m sure Leon understands it too. You can be a rescuer and a parent. My parents are living proof of that,” Hunnigan assured with a smile.

“Ready to go?” Leon inquired as he came back downstairs.  
“Yeah,” Claire nodded, “Thanks for looking after Seeley,” she then said.

“No problem, he’s a sweetheart, I’ll happily look after him again if you need a babysitter,” Helena promised.  
“I’ll remember that,” Leon grinned before proceeding to pepper the baby’s cheek and neck with quick little kisses that elicited a high-pitched shriek of joy from the child.

“If they make a habit of bringing Seeley over, you’re in charge of changing the diapers,” Hunnigan then told Helena after the couple had exited the apartment.  
“I don’t mind, it takes a lot more than a dirty diaper to intimidate me,” Helena smirked. She went back to her spot on the couch and hit play, continuing her _American Dad!_ -marathon, raising her left arm over the backrest of the couch and wiggled an eyebrow at Hunnigan.

“Your spot is free,” she said.  
“Good, I’m glad it’s just you and I,” Hunnigan commented and went to claim her spot, leaning to rest her head on Helena’s chest and wrapping her arm around the younger woman’s body.

“As in you don’t want kids?”  
“What? No, I meant I’m glad it’s just you and I right now...” Hunnigan began and gripped the front of Helena’s shirt.

“Because?” Helena quirked an eyebrow as Hunnigan moved to lie on her back on the couch, pulling Helena to lie ontop of her.  
“Because I’m hungover and horny.”

 

***


	24. Fire and ice

* * *

  _The art featured in this chapter was created by the ever so gracious[Oceanmyhope](http://oceanmyhope.tumblr.com/)! :)_

* * *

 Helena and Hunnigan were busy going through their long list of groceries and supplies they’d need to buy if they intended to spend a long weekend at the cabin. Hunnigan was about to cross another thing off their list when someone spoke.

“Ingrid? Is that you?” a male voice inquired and both she and Helena turned around to see who was talking. The man speaking was tall and as wide as a door, he could’ve made a bear look small in comparison. He had short dark brown hair, hazel eyes and a beard that only added to his bear-like appearance. Overall, he looked kind despite his intimidating size and overall caveman-like features. He was handsome in a rugged, crude way that one either loved or didn’t.

“Michael, hello,” Hunnigan greeted, “Oh, okay,” she then chuckled awkwardly when he proceeded to pull her into a hug and she seemed to disappear into the big man’s bear-hug almost completely.

“I haven’t seen you in... like a decade!” he said as he slowly let go of her and she pulled away.  
“Sounds about right. You haven’t changed a bit though.”

“Neither have you.”  
“Nonsense, I got new frames,” Hunnigan smirked and adjusted her glasses to emphasize her point.

“Well, in my defense, I never paid much attention to those, I always preferred your face naked anyway,” he grinned.

Helena pursed her lips as she waited for Hunnigan to make the introductions, but it was becoming clear that would not happen. Instead, she and Michael carried on to the whole “how have you been”-routine and since it’d obviously been a while since they’d last seen each other, it was dragging on. Helena busied herself by checking her email from her phone, but that only entertained her for so long. After standing by idly for several minutes, she waited for a small pause in their conversation and then proceeded to let Hunnigan know that she’d go out to get the rest of the things they needed and would wait for her in the car. Without waiting for a response from Hunnigan, Helena commandeered the shopping cart and headed over to the next aisle.

“One of your siblings?” Michael inquired.

“No, girlfriend,” Hunnigan said and she had to take a moment to consider the word. Girlfriend sounded like something people in their early twenties or younger had, not to mention that she genuinely didn’t feel that word did Helena justice in any other way either. She was more than just a girlfriend. But, at the same time, Hunnigan didn’t have a better word for it. There really wasn’t one that would’ve been just right. “Partner” didn’t sound right, even if you didn’t take into account the fact that in their line of work that word meant something else. “Spouse” was... close, but not quite. It was love, but at the same time, it was so much more than love.

“Nice,” Michael grinned happily and Hunnigan scoffed.  
“Don’t be a douche.”

“Not at all, I’m just enjoying the mental image,” he assured innocently.  
“I should go catch up with her before she decides that three bottles of whiskey are a necessity,” Hunnigan then smirked.

“Okay. You staying at the cabin?”  
“Yeah, but don’t even think about peeking through the windows or she will literally shoot you.”

“That’s why I have a telescope,” Michael jested before proceeding to say goodbye to Hunnigan and they went their separate ways.

* * *

The cabin wasn’t much bigger than a one-bedroom apartment, but it was roomy. The kitchenette was the first thing you walked into when entering through the front door, the counters and the sink in a semi-circle around the kitchen table. Beyond that, not separated by walls, was the living room with a couch up against the right-hand side wall, a fireplace opposite to it. Further on from there and right across the front door was the entrance to the patio where the outdoor hot tub and barbeque were, a small woodshed a few yards beyond those. The bed was up on a loft, the stairs leading up there nearby the couch, next to the bathroom. Behind them was another set of stairs which led into the basement.

“Nice place,” Helena said after putting the shopping bags down and taking a moment to look around.

“Mom’s dad built it,” Hunnigan said as she turned the fridge on and began unpacking their shopping, deciding that some of the items would be better off outside in the cold winter weather rather than wait for the fridge to cool.

“It’s been upgraded over the years, obviously, but mostly it’s hand-made,” she continued as she went to put the cooler onto the patio.

“Impressive,” Helena nodded and followed Hunnigan as she headed over to the basement to turn on the furnace.

“Okay, so... let’s see...”  
“You sure you know what you’re doing?” Helena teased as she watched Hunnigan eye the furnace with her hands on her hips.

“I’ve only seen this done once and that was long time ago, give me a minute,” she countered. After several minutes of trying to make out any instructions on the labels glued onto it, Hunnigan pursed her lips and clicked her tongue.

“You were a mechanic in the army, any ideas?”  
“I fixed helicopters!” Helena laughed and shook her head, “Pretty big difference.”

“Okay, I’m gonna do what any independent woman in this situation would do,” Hunnigan then said and dug out her phone. Helena quirked an eyebrow as she waited for what Hunnigan’s solution might be. For a moment she expected the other woman to look up a tutorial online, but instead, she made a phone call.

“Daddy, I can’t get the furnace to turn on,” she said when Lance answered the call and Helena covered her mouth to stifle a laugh. Independent strong woman indeed.  
“Huh-larious, but this is not the time for dad-jokes,” Hunnigan then said to the phone after listening to her father tell her she should probably buy it dinner and give it back massage.

“Oh, well I suppose having the gas turned on would help,” she then chuckled awkwardly and Helena had to leave the room because she was about to burst out laughing.

Hunnigan emerged a couple of minutes later and informed Helena that they’d soon have hot water and be warm. Helena merely nodded and Hunnigan frowned.

“Are you okay? You’ve been kind of quiet since we left the store,” she said and Helena shrugged a little.  
“Yeah, I just... you and Michael seemed close,” she answered slowly, twisting her hands a bit awkwardly before crossing her arms over her abdomen to hide the nervous twitch.

“We dated for a while when I was younger, it was kind of on again, off again,” Hunnigan shrugged.  
“Yeah, I kind of figured,” Helena muttered and dug out her pack of cigarettes, turned away from Hunnigan and headed over to the patio with her half-empy water bottle she was gonna use as an ashtray.

“Are you... jealous?” Hunnigan inquired as she followed the younger woman outside and Helena sighed, hanging her head a little.  
“Well, yeah, kind of,” she admitted reluctantly.

“You have no reason to be, you know that... don’t you?”  
“I do, and... it’s not like I’m expecting you to run off with Michael, it’s not like that,” Helena muttered and took a long drag out of her cigarette before exhaling the smoke deeply, the cloud of it clearly visible and emphasized by the cool air which turned her breath into a cloud.

“Then I don’t understand...”  
“I’m not worried that you will cheat on me with him or anything else like that... but the fact that you never even introduced me to him kind of hurt my feelings.”

Hunnigan was about to argue that she had told Michael who Helena was, but then she realized she’d told him that only after he’d asked her about Helena’s identity.

“It was like I ceased to exist,” Helena elaborated and she wasn’t exactly wrong, Hunnigan had to agree.  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that, he just caught me by surprise and...”

“I get it... but it’s just... some kind of a knee-jerk reaction. I’m not a jealous person, I don’t get that way because I think that when I’m with someone, I shouldn’t have to worry about such things and that I shouldn’t have to get all possessive about the person I’m with, because if they genuinely love me like I love them, I shouldn’t have to, right?”

“Yes, exactly,” Hunnigan said.  
“But, that didn’t work with Ryan.”

“Oh...”  
“She would go out of her way to make me jealous. Like, I needed to prove my feelings for her by being jealous, so whenever we’d go out or hang out with friends... well, her friends really... it was like I stopped existing whenever there was someone else around. And she did it on purpose just to see me feel bad, because she knew I wouldn’t say anything... which in return just encouraged her to do it more, I guess...” Helena muttered and sighed deeply.

“I’m sorry that I made you feel that way, I swear, it wasn’t my intention.”  
“I know... and I believe you, I’m just being stupid.”

“No, you’re not, you’re allowed to be jealous or possessive even, as long as it’s the healthy kind, I don’t mind... but I need you to know that I would never intentionally go out of my way just to make you feel that way,” Hunnigan said softly. Helena didn’t have anything to comment, she merely nodded once more before taking another long drag of her cigarette.

“This just makes me realize how little we actually know about each other. I mean, I feel like I’ve been with you forever, but I don’t even know what your favorite color is,” Hunnigan smirked awkwardly and Helena chuckled.

“My favorite color is red.”  
“Mine is blue.”

“Hah!” Helena barked a laugh and put her cigarette out, “You’re right, we don’t know everything about each other, if anything we’ve barely scratched the surface... but you know... since we’re here, undisturbed and with no distractions, how about we use this time to get to know each other?” she then suggested and Hunnigan smiled.

“Well, frankly, I think it was about time we did without interruptions,” Hunnigan replied with a grin, dug out her phone from her pocket and made sure Helena could see her turn it off.

* * *

Hunnigan climbed up onto the banister that surrounded the patio and reached up, gripping the edge of the roof above, then pushed her foot against the wall and used it as support to push herself upward, finally managing to make her way onto the roof. The snow quickly numbed her hands but she ignored the cold burn, she was used to it and knew it would pass.

“Come on,” she encouraged Helena to follow her example. For Hunnigan, this was routine; she’d climbed onto the roof numerous times, starting at a very young age despite her mother’s objections. Not once had Hunnigan worried about falling or slipping, and she still didn’t, even if by her age she should’ve known better. Helena needed a few moments to assess the situation and look for footholds and where to get a decent grip, but followed behind shortly after.

“Is there a reason you demanded we sit here, freezing our asses off?” Helena smirked and lit a cigarette as she sat on the top of the roof next to Hunnigan who’d graciously cleared a spot for them of snow. Instead of saying anything, Hunnigan merely pointed at the sky.

* * *

_By Oceanmyhope, with minor edit by me, view in full size[here](http://imgur.com/WIAO1ti)_

* * *

 

“Oh, my God,” Helena exclaimed, her arm instinctively wrapping around Hunnigan’s waist, her side pressed against the other woman’s as they sat side by side. The sky was illuminated by a swirls of northern lights the shade of light blue and pink, separare at first, then slowly melting into each other and scattering across the dark sky in gentle waves, their movement almost hypnotic.

“I’ve never seen those before,” Helena whispered, staring up at the sky, her mouth hanging slightly open at the beauty displayed before her.  
“I have, but I never get tired of seeing them,” Hunnigan smiled as she watched with Helena for a few more minutes until the aurora slowly began to fade away before finally disappearing completely.

“Thank you for showing that to me. It was the second most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Helena smiled as she turned to look at Hunnigan.  
“Oh? What’s the most beautiful thing?” Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow and the grin that spread onto Helena’s lips told her she’d walked right into that “trap”.

“I’m looking at her,” Helena said needlessly and reached to kiss Hunnigan’s lips gently.  
“You’re so...”

“I’m smooth, that’s what I am, don’t even try to deny it,” Helena interrupted and Hunnigan sighed in exaggerated defeat.  
“You have your moments.”

“Can we get down now?” Helena then inquired, her backside cold and the fabric of her jeans wet from the melted snow.

Hunnigan nodded and waited in her spot until Helena had safely made her way back to the ground before following after her, only this time the unthinkable happened; her grip slipped. She would’ve fallen onto the banister back first, at the very least getting a serious bruise on her upper back if not something much worse if Helena hadn’t managed to catch her.

“Oh, God, that was a close one!” Hunnigan exclaimed and took a few deep breaths, trying to think of the last time she’d gotten that badly startled.  
“Yeah!” Helena exhaled as well, “You okay?”

“I am, thanks to you,” she nodded, “Don’t tell mom that happened, she’d never let me hear the end of it,” she then smirked and Helena chuckled a little.

After retrieving some wood from the shed, Helena set out to get the fire going to warm up the cabin while Hunnigan grabbed the salmon filets from the cooler and headed into the kitchen. She turned the oven on and while waiting for it to heat, she proceeded to slice a couple of potatoes into so thin pieces you could almost see through them, and then placed them on a piece of tinfoil.

“You make that look so easy,” Helena commented as she stood by the fridge and watched Hunnigan drizzle olive oil onto the potatoes and season them with salt and pepper before squeezing some lemon juice over them and finally placing the filet of salmon ontop, finalizing the meal to be by squeezing the rest of the lemon juice over the fish and seasoning it with salt and pepper too.

“Practice makes perfect,” Hunnigan shrugged with a smile as she sealed the foil packet firmly and made another one before putting them both in the oven.  
“Did you want to be a chef when you grew up?” Helena asked and Hunnigan chuckled, shaking her head.

“I wanted to be an astronaut, but then my interest toward it faded and I became fascinated with stuff that’s more down to Earth, namely computers and figuring out what made them tick... which is quite fascinating, because basically it’s just a bunch of zeroes and ones which translate into this magic which allows us to do incredible things, I mean your phone has more juice than the computer that helped the first astronauts into space, and... annnd, I’m boring you, sorry,” Hunnigan interrupted herself awkwardly.

“No, you’re not, I like seeing you so passionate about something, even if I don’t understand it all. I use my computer for work and for looking at cat videos,” Helena smiled.  
“So, what about you, what did you want to be?” Hunnigan asked and went to open a bottle of white wine and set it onto the kitchen table, letting it breathe while waiting for the food to cook in the oven.

“Uh, well, you’re probably not gonna believe me,” Helena began with an awkward laugh, “but I wanted to be mom.”  
“As in like your mother? Or you wanted to be a mother?” Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow.

“My mom was a nurse, so professionally I didn’t want that, I don’t think I ever really gave it much thought, basically I didn’t want to be anything in that sense, but I wanted to do what mom did when she was home.”  
“Sooo, you wanted a family,” Hunnigan commented slowly as she took a seat at the table and Helena bit her lower lip uncomfortably before shrugging and also taking a seat.

“Yeah, I did. But, that didn’t work out for obvious reasons, so instead of wasting time on thinking what could’ve been if I were...” she paused and scoffed a little, offering a rueful smile, “...if I were normal, I just did things that worked best at the time,” she finished with the distinct sadness that came from years of denial and having to come to terms with things she couldn’t change. Add to that the fact that she’d obviously been raised with a heavy dose of Catholic guilt, Hunnigan realized that accepting her own sexuality must’ve been a huge hurdle for Helena to get over.

“Sometimes I wonder what my parents would say if they were alive and knew.”  
“I’m sure they would love you just the same.”

“Maybe... but, it doesn’t matter. They’re gone and... Deborah’s gone so I’m the last one of my family, which pretty much means I’m the end of the line.”  
“You don’t know that,” Hunnigan said and Helena quirked an eyebrow.

“It’s a pretty sure thing,” she scoffed ruefully. Hunnigan exhaled deeply and decided to steer the conversation to something else rather than make comments about the uncertainty of life.  
“When did you know that you were a lesbian?”

“When I realized that Sister Sterling made me feel funny inside,” Helena said, a wide grin appearing on her face as she thought about it.  
“You had a crush on a nun?” Hunnigan exclaimed and burst out laughing softly at it and Helena nodded.

“I was thirteen and she was my teacher. She was... well, she was a lot like you, actually, except more... Irish and Catholic, obviously,” Helena elaborated with a chuckle, “I never paid closer attention in class than I did when she taught me. She was strict but she was also fair and if you didn’t do bad things, you had no reason to meet the strict side of her. Plus, she was a really good teacher. I never had any crushes on boys, so I suppose that spoke volumes.”

“I recall you mentioning you were outed in high school. How’d that happen, if you don’t mind me asking?” Hunnigan then inquired and got up to check on the food and retrieved two wine glasses from the cabinet.

“Oh, it’s a pretty typical story. I developed a crush on this girl I used to hang out with and one time I worked up the courage to try and kiss her. I clumsily grabbed her face and leaned in, but I was wearing a baseball cap so I ended up bumping the visor into her forehead before I got anywhere near her lips, and she shoved me back calling me a freak, and as you can expect, the day after everyone in school knew about it.”

“I can’t imagine what that must’ve been like,” Hunnigan said softly as she rinsed out the glasses that had been sitting in the cabinet for God only knew how long.  
“No rumors ever circulated about you around school then, I take it?” Helena smirked.

“I was a loner, practically invisible, people didn’t care about me,” Hunnigan shrugged, dried off the glasses and returned to her seat, reaching for the bottle of wine.  
“How did you deal with the things people said about you?” she asked then, pouring herself and Helena some wine.

“Not very well,” Helena admitted awkwardly. She told Hunnigan that nothing had ever been submitted into her official records because what guy would want to admit they’d gotten their ass kicked by a girl, but she’d given a few of the guys bloody noses after they’d taken it upon themselves to glue pages ripped from porn magazines to her locker and wait around to ask her opinion on the tits and pussy.

“And eventually, just to put an end to it, I slept with the first guy who’d have me. Namely, the same guy I previously mentioned having a big cock but how I’d felt nothing. He was the first person I ever was with and the only guy I’ve been with,” Helena finished her story and sipped her wine. She put her glass down and poured herself some more despite there still being some in the glass.

“After that, high school was pretty much over, I enlisted and thankfully sex wasn’t something I had to worry about in the army. I kept busy, learned a trade. And after coming home from Afghanistan, I met Ryan... you know how that went,” Helena said, drained her glass and poured herself another then.

“So... Ryan was your first and your only serious relationship,” Hunnigan muttered and Helena nodded.  
“Yeah.”

“I’m... sorry I haven’t asked you about how you’re dealing with the loss of her, not since...”  
“It’s okay,” Helena interrupted quietly, “I’d lost her long before that. We did actually talk about going the whole nine yards, like getting married and having kids, but the longer we were together, the more obvious it became that we just didn’t work.”

“I’m sorry,” Hunnigan said, mostly just to say something, she didn’t have any actual words of comfort or wisdom, this was something she’d never had to deal with before.  
“I know what you might be thinking, but rest assured, Ryan and I were finished long before you and I...” Helena trailed off awkwardly.

“Maybe... that said, I hope you know that if you ever want to talk about her, and about what happened...”

“I don’t. She made a horrible, unnecessary decision, I wish she hadn’t, but it happened, and I refuse to accept the blame for that even if I do feel bad that it happened,” Helena said and emptied her glass.  
“Okay,” Hunnigan nodded quietly.

“Well, now you know my more or less sad sexual and romantic history, how about yours?” Helena then smirked and Hunnigan scoffed amusedly as she stood up and took the food out from the oven. She poked at the fish and potatoes with a fork to check if they were cooked and decided they could use a few more minutes and put them back into the oven.

“Michael was actually my first,” she confessed somewhat awkwardly as Helena poured herself another glass of wine. She quirked an eyebrow but didn’t comment.

“We’ve known each other since we were kids and I spent most of my summers here and he lives a couple of miles away... and when I got older, we got... romantic. I lost my virginity to him at the age of sixteen in the attic of his folks’ cabin. It wasn’t much more than a small crawlspace where he’d sleep and read comics at and... well, while I do remember it happening, it wasn’t exactly memorable,” Hunnigan offered uncomfortably.

“The guy I slept with? His name was Jeff. He was a nice guy I’d known ever since I started high school... but to this day the the thing I remember best about him was the face he made when I had to help him put on a condom and he almost came while we were fumbling with that,” Helena shared and they both chuckled a little.

“Michael managed to elbow my boob and then went to ‘kiss the booboo’ by biting my tit because he thought it was sexy and it wasn’t. Finally, I just sort of straddled him and grinded on him until it was over,” Hunnigan chuckled.

“So... you two... were together for a long time?”  
“Ah, no. It was more like we’d get together whenever I’d spend vacations here. Other than him, I haven’t had that many serious relationships, I always ended them whenever he would suggest anything like living together. I’ve never tolerated that... until you,” Hunnigan explained and Helena raised her eyebrows.

“Until you, it was literally about tolerating another person. But with you... I actually want you around,” she elaborated.

“I’m flattered,” Helena smiled.  
“You should be. It just means that... you are the one,” Hunnigan admitted reluctantly and Helena quirked an eyebrow.

“It’s just something my mother said... among many other things. She told me I shouldn’t dismiss the idea of there being ‘The One’ so easily, and the more I’ve thought about it... the more you fit the profile,” she added with a smile.

“So... ‘The One’ not being something you would usually believe in then, huh?”  
“Exactly, but in your case, I’m making an exception and consciously deciding not to be rational for once,” Hunnigan smirked, stood up and went to get the food from the oven.

“So, what you’re saying is...” Helena began slowly as she stood up and went to wrap her arms around Hunnigan from behind, nuzzling into the side of her neck, “...that I’m your one true love?”

Hunnigan set the food down, closed her eyes and leaned her head back, inhaling and exhaling deeply at the feel of Helena’s lips softly planting gentle kisses onto her skin, her breath brushing against Hunnigan’s ear.

“You know how much I hate using terms like that, so you know that when I say it... I really mean it.”  
“So, say it,” Helena shrugged innocently and Hunnigan turned around in her arms, putting her own around Helena’s waist and holding her close as she looked into the younger woman’s eyes that were more amber than brown.

“You are my one true love,” she confessed and Helena responded with the most brilliant smile Hunnigan had ever seen.

She kissed Hunnigan passionately, tightening her grip on the other woman and gently nudged her to move. Hunnigan didn’t resist, instead she happily gave in and moved toward the couch. They left their clothes where they landed and finally, Helena settled to sit on the couch, pulling Hunnigan with her, the taller woman straddling her thighs.

“I love you with my whole heart,” Hunnigan breathed into the kiss.  
“As I love you with mine,” Helena responded in a gentle moan, her hands roaming over the smooth, naked skin, wanting more of it under her touch and against her own.

Burning wood shifted in the fireplace and sparks crackled. Helena and Hunnigan became like white hot iron over flames, bending underneath the burning lust ignited and brought to life by mutual passion, each having finally met their match and equal, happily consumed by the blazing and wholehearted devotion and love.

* * *

_by Oceanmyhope, view in full size[here](http://i.imgur.com/ZLZZpaK.jpg)._

***


	25. Somebody that I used to know

“Augh, Helena! You used up all the hot water!” Hunnigan complained loudly from the shower and Helena chuckled.

“I’m Catholic and a lesbian, it takes me a long time to feel clean,” she jested as she dug into the food which had been meant to be dinner last night, but had been reassigned the duty of serving as breakfast after she and Hunnigan had gotten distracted and forgotten to eat.

“I’m not sure I accept your faith as an excuse,” Hunnigan scoffed as she emerged from the bathroom wearing only a towel.  
“And I can’t even go to Mass because we’re here, so it’s like... double-trouble.”

“I’m sure there are Catholic churches here too,” Hunnigan countered and narrowed her eyes.  
“Maybe, but it’s too late now, I slept in because you wore me out last night, so... you only have yourself to blame,” Helena shrugged innocently and took another bite of her meal.

“You’re unbelievable,” Hunnigan laughed softly and took a seat at the table. She’d eaten her meal while Helena had been in the shower, so she took the opportunity to check her phone which she’d kept switched off until now. Shortly after powering up, it chimed to let her know she had new messages.

Hunnigan skimmed through most of them, they could wait until Monday, but the message from Lucy caught her attention.

 _Boom, baby!_ it read, and attached was an image of her driver’s license which stated that Lucy Selena Hunnigan’s date of birth was now January 1st 1996, making her officially eighteen years old.

“Well, I’ll be damned, my baby’s all grown up,” Hunnigan pretended to sniffle a little as she showed Helena the picture.  
“Congratulations, now you’re no longer legally responsible for her shenanigans,” Helena grinned jokingly, knowing perfectly well that she never had been.

“You okay?” she then asked after Hunnigan had stared at the message silently for a long while.

“Yeah, I just feel a little cheated, I’d thought I could keep calling that runt my baby sister for a couple more years, but now she’s suddenly an adult and I suppose I should start treating her like one,” Hunnigan muttered and put the phone away.

“She’s still your baby sis, and frankly, I’m convinced she wouldn’t have it any other way,” Helena assured gently and Hunnigan smiled.  
“Thanks. I’m gonna go try taking that shower now,” she then said and headed back to the bathroom.

After finishing her meal, Helena went over to the bookshelf to find something to entertain herself with. There was no TV and the Internet connection wasn’t what she would’ve called stable and reliable. She didn’t think it was necessarily a bad thing, on the contrary, less distractions this way.

“Huh,” she hummed and pulled out a photo album that was as thick as a brick. Judging from the amount of baby pictures, Alix and Lance had been very excited about their baby (and judging from how almost every picture was out of focus, they weren’t exactly great photographers). Helena browsed past pictures of baby-Hunnigan napping on her father’s chest, eating and making a mess of it, sitting in a sink, making weird faces, and of course, riding the family dog (not Shepard, though, obviously this was a different dog).

She grew up a little with every page turn and toward the end, there were a few pictures featuring friends and siblings. Helena wasn’t sure, she’d never seen a picture of Liam, but she got the feeling that the tattooed young man with a kind smile holding Hunnigan in a half-hug in a photo that was taken at Christmas was Liam. Nina’s presence in the next photo with the similar setting kind of confirmed it.

Judging from a long series of photos that followed, Hunnigan and Nina had once been the kind of sisters that were inseparable. Helena sighed a little, it seemed like such a waste that their relationship had gotten as bad as it had. Also, looking at the things Hunnigan and Nina had done as sisters made Helena miss Deborah terribly.

Realizing she hadn’t thought of her sister in a long while also made her feel guilty. She wasn’t even sure how she’d managed that. Granted, she’d been preoccupied with life, but...

 _No, I won’t feel bad about it, Deb would think that me not crying over what happened all the time is a good thing,_ Helena then mused, and it was true; had Deborah been able to tell her one thing, she would’ve told her “you’re alive, so live”. No amount of grieving, praying and bargaining would bring her back, it was pointless to waste time on it. Sighing, Helena turned the page.

“Oh, my God,” she whispered when she got to the last page which featured a photo of Hunnigan dressed in a navy blue dress, staring somewhere into the distance, her hair cascading freely over her shoulders. Helena couldn’t tell how old Hunnigan was in it, maybe it had been her prom photo, maybe some other event which had required a formal dress, but she looked amazing. Helena dug out her phone and took a picture of the photo after deciding she definitely wanted a copy.

* * *

 

* * *

“That’s not creepy at all,” Hunnigan’s voice came from behind her, startling her.  
“So, I’m a creep, big deal,” she commented and put the photo album back into its rightful place.

“Find anything interesting?” Hunnigan then asked, amusement flickering in her voice and eyes.  
“Well, for one thing, that you really grew into your ears,” Helena taunted.

“Rude!” Hunnigan scoffed with a smirk and snapped Helena with her towel only to have the younger woman grab a hold of it and yank on it, pulling Hunnigan to herself.

“It was a compliment, I really like the shape of your ears,” Helena chuckled mischievously, dropped the towel onto the couch and wrapped her arms around Hunnigan’s nude form, raking her fingernails over Hunnigan’s back, making the taller woman’s skin rise to goosebumps.

“Don’t do this, I just got clean and there’s no more hot water left,” Hunnigan groaned when Helena’s hand traveled further down, stopping to firmly cup Hunnigan’s buttock as she trailed her lips over Hunnigan’s jawline and the side of her neck.

“We could always take a cold shower afterward,” Helena hummed softly into Hunnigan’s ear.  
“We’d probably need it.”

Hunnigan was the first to admit that sex had never really played a huge part in her life before. Of course she’d had urges and wants just like pretty much anyone else, but she’d rarely bothered dragging another person into it to deal with it. “Masturbate and then move on” had become kind of a mantra over the past few years, it was much easier than pursuing someone and then having to deal with them afterward, or worse; wanting someone she knew she couldn’t have.

With Helena, it was different. It wasn’t a matter of just having someone there whose body to use to get what she wanted. It wasn’t a chore, it wasn’t a power struggle, it wasn’t about taking as much as you could before it was over. It was about drawing your own enjoyment out of knowing how much pleasure you could bring to your lover.

 _I’m going to be thirty-four this year and I think that I had never really made love until I met Helena,_ Hunnigan mused as she lay on her side on the couch, her arm and leg stretched over Helena’s body, nuzzling onto the younger woman’s neck, breathing heavily and leaning to kiss Helena’s skin to taste the salt of her sweat.

“I could stay here forever,” Helena murmured happily and kissed Hunnigan’s forehead.  
“Liar, in a few minutes you’re gonna get up and go have a cigarette,” Hunnigan taunted.

“Well, I do want one, now that you mentioned it... but I want to snuggle with you some more, so it’ll just have to wait,” Helena smiled.

* * *

After sharing a quick, relatively cold shower with Hunnigan, Helena went for her pack of cigarettes only to discover it empty and to realize she’d forgotten to buy more.

“Damn it, I don’t want to have to go to the store,” Helena complained and crumpled the empty pack before tossing it into the trash.  
“Then don’t. I’ll distract you from withdrawals,” Hunnigan offered with a grin and Helena quirked an eyebrow.

“You’re insatiable.”

“Maybe,” Hunnigan chuckled and shrugged a little, “but it’s really your fault. It’s like Olivia once told me; great sex is never supposed to leave you satisfied, it should leave you wanting more. So, yeah, that’s where we’re at, beyond satisfied,” she then said and Helena smiled.

“Well, that really is quite a compliment.”  
“...but it’s not enough to keep you from going to town for a pack of smokes, is it?” Hunnigan commented, narrowing her eyes and turning her mouth into a pout as she crossed her arms under her breasts.

“I also realized we didn’t buy enough beer and I could go for a few cold ones,” Helena justified her intentions further.  
“While you’re there, bring me Kinder Surprise eggs!” Hunnigan called out just as Helena was about to step outside.

“How many?”  
“Surprise me,” Hunnigan smirked and Helena chuckled.

“All right, I’ll see you soon,” she said and exited the cabin.

Hunnigan finished getting dressed and went downstairs to brew some coffee since she’d missed her morning cup. She’d just sat down to enjoy it when there was a knock on the door. Frowning, she got up and went to answer it.

“Michael,” she said, barely resisting the urge to roll her eyes at the sight of him. She knew she shouldn’t have told him where she’d be staying, but then again, it was kind of obvious where she’d be, Hunnigan hardly had any other business here.

“Hey. I was in the neighborhood,” he grinned as he opened with the ancient dialogue they’d gone through more times than either could count.  
“I’d be surprised it you weren’t since you live nearby,” Hunnigan said her line before frowning deeply at him, “What are you doing here?”

“Well, seeing you yesterday got me thinking about the good old days and I figured I’d stop by and see if you felt like catching up,” he smiled.  
“The good old days, huh?” Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow. That wasn’t exactly how she remembered them. Judging from the somewhat uncomfortable chuckle, he couldn’t in all sincerity really call them all good times either.

“Ah, you know... Actually, I did want to apologize to you sooner, but I had no means of contacting you since you changed your number and I couldn’t find you online either,” he shrugged one shoulder.

“Yeah, I don’t do social media, working for the government leaves one paranoid like that,” Hunnigan smirked. It wasn’t as much about paranoia as it was about a lack of interest toward the platforms and her genuine inability to ever be able to bring herself to understand people who wouldn’t get out of bed in the morning if no one liked their pictures or status updates.

“Well, since we’re here... I’m sorry about what happened. I was feeling like shit and I took it out on you and I shouldn’t have, and I’m sorry.”  
“It really has been a long time, so don’t worry about it, no permanent damage done,” Hunnigan chuckled.

“Not to you maybe.”  
“Oh, come on,” she sighed.

“I’m serious, I’ve thought about you a lot and really needed to apologize,” he said and Hunnigan didn’t have the heart to tell him that she hadn’t thought about him, let alone about how things between them had ended, at all.

“Well, now you’ve apologized and I accept your apology, so you have nothing to worry about,” she assured him.  
“Okay, well, that’s... uh, that’s a relief then,” Michael chuckled awkwardly and pursed his lips as he tried to think of a way to continue the conversation despite it being rather obvious that she didn’t intend to invite him in.

“Do you still play the bass?” he asked.  
“Hah, no, haven’t in years,” she laughed softly.

“Shame, you were really good at it.”  
“I guess,” she shrugged again, leaning to the door while still firmly standing in the doorway rather than stepping aside to silently invite him in.

“Any chance I could scrounge a coffee and... we could chat?”

“To what end, Michael?” Hunnigan sighed deeply, “Let’s say we chat now and exchange numbers and occasionally text each other about what the weather’s like. Then what? How long would it be before I’d need to block your number again? And, furthermore, what would we even talk about?”

“Wow, okay, that’s... blunt,” he nodded and scratched the back of his head a little.  
“I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, I’m just asking what it is that you assume we could talk about?”

“Well, you know, the kind of stuff we used to talk about before. Movies, music... so on.”  
“Look...” Hunnigan exhaled, her tone soft and almost gentle because she really didn’t want to hurt his feelings, he wasn’t a bad guy, he was just... exhausting. Or, had been, as far as she could remember, but she was relatively certain that if one trait of him were to always remain the same no matter how much time would pass, it would be that one.

“I don’t have anything to say to you. I’m not an angsty teenager anymore, I can’t relate to how you see the world and feel about it,” she said.

 _...no matter how well I know that you’re not always wrong about the world and its shameful state, but unlike you, I have to sustain the hope that it’ll change because I don’t want to become jaded,_ she added mentally.

“I’m not standing here claiming to be a changed man, but things are different now,” Michael said.  
“Maybe, but based on past experience of you saying that, I already know that we can’t be friends because nothing’s changed that much,” Hunnigan shook her head.

“Well, you suddenly being a lesbian is a pretty big change,” he smirked and Hunnigan rolled her eyes at him.  
“Please don’t tell me you’re one of the people who think that being gay is a choice.”

“No, I’m not, I mean... considering how bad the situation still is in many ways, I can’t imagine who would ever choose to be gay and risk all the rejection that comes with it,” Michael shook his head and Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow. Well, that was something she could agree with him about. Then he continued his speech and her opinion of him went back to the negative side.

“But you’re no lesbian.”  
“I don’t believe that my sexual preferences are any of your business.”

“True, but what I’m saying is that you don’t have to put up with this facade of being gay, you could just tell me you don’t want me.”  
“Oh, my God, Michael,” Hunnigan groaned, pushed had glasses to her forehead and pinched the bridge of her nose, shaking her head at his comment.

“You can rest assured, nothing about my relationship with Helena is faked, especially not just to let you down easy.”  
“I’ve known you since we were like fourteen, and based on what I know, there’s not a gay bone in your body.”

“Do you hear yourself? Like, do you actually hear what you’re saying and do you understand how ridiculous and how offensive you’re being? Believe me, I wouldn’t bother putting up a facade of this magnitude just to spare your feelings.”

“Nah, you see, the thing is, if that were the truth, I could live with it, but you’re lying” Michael said and Hunnigan frowned. Just what the hell kind of proof was he expecting?

“Excuse me?” Hunnigan asked, her tone becoming less friendly. She knew she should’ve just shut the door and walked away, but a part of her was curious to hear what he had to say.

“I get it, you’re not obligated to tell me anything, but at least be honest with me. If you don’t want me in your life, then just say it, don’t pretend that you’re gay or whatever,” he scoffed.  
“Uh, well, I would’ve imagined that making myself unavailable to you for the past decade would’ve been as honest a way of telling you I don’t want you in my life as they came, but still, here you are,” Hunnigan narrowed her eyes at him.

“Yeah, ‘cuz I thought we could discuss it, but since you seem happy pretending to be something you’re not just to get rid of me, I guess that ain’t gonna happen.”

“Okay, look. I’m in love with someone else and I do not want you, not in my bed, not as my boyfriend. I haven’t in a long time. You know that and you would realize that if you weren’t off your meds,” Hunnigan said, trying to wrap her head around how he’d even gotten the idea to turn up like no time had passed. She didn’t think she’d given him any reason to believe that. She hadn’t initiated the hug at the store, he had and she’d merely tolerated it, so that couldn’t have been it either. Unless he was delusional enough to think otherwise... which, actually, had to be considered.

“I’m amazed you’d even entertain the idea that I would still be at your beck and call like I was when I was a kid. I loved you, sincerely, but you didn’t care about that, and now you have the balls to turn up here thinking you can just snap your fingers and have me? What is wrong with you?” Hunnigan questioned, her voice rising to an outraged falsetto. Nearly a decade was long time for people to change, but apparently, not everyone changed.

Michael turned to look over his shoulder when Helena drove up the driveway in the black Audi she’d rented. Hunnigan let out an inaudible sigh of relief. She had never been one to willingly even fathom the idea of being a damsel in distress (even when she really had been), but right now, she was willing to happily throw herself in Helena’s arms while dramatically proclaiming she needed a savior. Helena got out, grabbed the groceries from the backseat and paused to light a cigarette before walking over to the door.

“Everything all right over here?” she asked, squinting her left eye to keep the smoke from getting into it, the cigarette between her lips bouncing as she spoke. She could tell the conversation between Hunnigan and Michael couldn’t have been a pleasant one. Hunnigan didn’t know it, but her body language gave away a lot more than she thought it did. Thing was, not a lot of people had learned to read her the way Helena had.

“Yes, he was just leaving,” Hunnigan said, her words directed at Helena, but her glare firmly set on Michael.

“If you ever decide to be honest about yourself, you know where to find me,” he said, turned around and walked past Helena, exchanging a glance with the young woman, deciding at the last moment not to intentionally bump into her because the way she looked at him sent a message which was that she wouldn’t hesitate to break his bones if he gave her any reason to.

“What did he want?” Helena inquired.

“...to know if I still played the bass,” Hunnigan sighed and turned to go back inside. The smell of burnt coffee filled the space and she went to turn off the coffee maker and then emptied her cup into the sink, the liquid having gone cold a good while ago.

***


	26. Scar tissue

Helena put the beer into the fridge and then turned to Hunnigan, holding up a small plastic bag which was bulging.

“Here’s your Kinder eggs,” she smiled and handed the bag over to Hunnigan.  
“Oh, God, I’m gonna get so fat.”

“Yeah, well, you did tell me last night that I was your one true love and to me, that just means we can stop caring about what we look like and get fat and old together,” Helena smirked.

Truth be told, as much as she did love good food and beer, she had no desire to let herself go. She’d been there, from being a chubby child to being a fat teenager until she’d realized she had to do something about it if she intended to join the Army. As desperate as the recruiters occasionally seemed, she’d known she wouldn’t stand a chance in the state she’d been in.

“I would love you just the same,” Hunnigan said.  
“Yeah, you say that now...” Helena teased.

“So, what, you saying you would not love me the same if I got fat?”

“I would find you just as sexy and attractive as I do now because contrary to the common belief, as far as I’m concerned, overweight does not equal unattractive. I suppose you wouldn’t necessarily know that,” Helena muttered and Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow in disbelief.

“Excuse me?” she scoffed and crossed her arms over her abdomen.  
“Okay, that came out wrong, I just meant that based on what I’ve seen, you’ve never had issues with your weight, at least not like that. Sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry. You’re right, I have never been there, so I really don’t know what it’s like, and I didn’t mean to be hurtful,” Hunnigan also apologized and Helena nodded a little, offering a small smile.

“Geez, what is it about today, everyone’s picking on me,” Hunnigan then muttered as she continued unpacking the groceries Helena had brought, namely the rest of the generous amount of beer and some snacks.

“I take it Michael had something less than nice to say, huh?” Helena presumed and took a seat at the kitchen table.  
“Indeed,” Hunnigan sighed and went on to share what had been said. Helena scoffed a little and shook her head.

“So... why did you two break up in the first place?” she then asked.

“Because all he ever did was talk about how the world sucks and how everyone sucks and how he should just kill himself, and the more I tried to convince him that it wasn’t the right way to deal with things, the more he took it upon himself to tell me what stupid bitch I was for thinking that life was worth living. I mean, there’s only so much support you can offer to someone until you have to accept that no matter what you do, they won’t change, because they love being miserable,” Hunnigan said.

“You’re right. Besides, it’s not your responsibility to make someone else happy. It comes from within, and if you hate yourself, no one can love you, not really. It sounds like a bunch of bullshit, but I learned it the hard way,” Helena commented and Hunnigan nodded.

“Exactly! He made me feel like it was my responsibility to save him from his depression and when I told him that it isn’t right, he lashed out and I just stopped talking to him because he was wearing me out. At some point you have to cut the toxic people from your life before they poison you too,” Hunnigan said and Helena offered a rueful smile.

“I know,” she said.

To her, Ryan had been that toxic person. Her reasons had been slightly different, but the fact still was that she’d expected Helena to be the one who would magically make her happy. Being told that she was the only reason Ryan bothered living wasn’t a compliment, it was a source of unimaginable pressure and guilt. And when her presence alone hadn’t been enough to sustain Ryan’s will to live and to lift her up from the slump she’d kept drowning herself into, suddenly the depression and perpetual sadness had become Helena’s fault.

“...and that way of thinking just made me feel bad about myself and for no reason at all, since it was never really up to me,” Helena said.  
“Yes, precisely. There was a time when I was in love with Michael, but he behaved as if it made no difference, so what was the point? Then I moved on and he didn’t, and he didn’t take that so well, which is when the late night phone calls and endless texts began.”

“Begging you to come back?” Helena quirked an eyebrow and Hunnigan chuckled, shaking her head a little.

“No, it was more like... he just wanted an argument and when I told him I wouldn’t engage him further, he turned it around saying that _I_ was the one who wanted to fight, with him specifically because as far as he was concerned, he was the only one who could match me... which of course isn’t true either, just goes to show how delusional he was,” Hunnigan smirked.

“And ten years later he sees you, says hello and then turns up at your doorstep to pick up where you left off, huh? Yeah, that doesn’t sound obsessive at all,” Helena said, her voice dripping with sarcasm, “Is he going to be a problem?”she then asked and Hunnigan frowned a little, not sure she understood the question.

“He hasn’t been since I changed my number to an unlisted one and took away his means of contacting me, I’m fairly sure that if he’d wanted to find me or stalk me, he would’ve done that already, I don’t need to tell you how easy it is finding out where someone lives even if they do make an effort to remain unlisted,” Hunnigan said.

“I’m just worried, I kind of got this murder-suicide-vibe from him. And, well... maybe I am a little bit jealous,” Helena confessed. She stood up and grabbed a beer from the fridge, popped it open and took a long sip from the bottle while standing in front of the kitchen counter, staring at the polished granite surface of it with unnecessary intensity. Hunnigan went to her, wrapped her arms around Helena from behind and moved to rest her chin on the other woman’s shoulder.

“I thought you said you don’t get jealous.”  
“I didn’t used to get jealous,” Helena said seriously and took another sip of her beer. Hunnigan loosened her grip and moved to stand beside her, leaning back against the kitchen counter.

“Why would you be jealous now? I mean... you must know that there’s no one else.”  
“That’s not it, not exactly,” Helena shook her head, “I just... I wish I could tell you what’s on my mind without sounding like a freak,” she finished awkwardly.

“You can tell me,” Hunnigan said quietly and put her hand over Helena’s forearm, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I’ve never been jealous, but when it comes to you... I want to punch every person who has the audacity to stare at you like you’re a piece of meat that they want to take a bite out of, and trust me, I know that look, I’ve been on the receiving end often enough to know it,” Helena said and finished her beer. She rinsed the empty bottle before putting it onto the counter and grabbed a new one from the fridge.

“And the thing is, I know you’re not my property. You’re not anyone’s property, so I have no right to walk up to someone and tell them you’re mine and that they have no right to even look at you like that, but my heart insists that you are mine. So, as you can see, it’s problematic.”

“Helena...”  
“I’m sorry, I really don’t mean to be an obsessive bitch or even sound like one.”

“...I _am_ yours,” Hunnigan said and moved to stand in front of Helena, wrapping her arms around the younger woman’s waist, pressing their bodies tightly together.  
“That’s not how I—”

“I know it’s not what you meant, I know you don’t intend to be possessive and I know it’s not like you’re telling me not to even talk to anyone but you, but what _I_ am saying is that... I’m yours. Like I said before, I want everything with you, all the things I never could even stand to think about with others. I _want_ to be yours. I want to lose myself into you,” Hunnigan whispered, repeating a phrase she’d heard from Helena way back when they’d first gone to Sakana together.

“If you’ll have me,” Hunnigan then added and Helena smiled.  
“You know I’ll be more than happy to have you anywhere. On the bed, the couch... the kitchen table... in the shower, in the hot tub,” she then listed and Hunnigan let out an amused scoff at the latter.

“Ah, yeah, you ruined the tub for me completely so that’s not gonna happen,” she said and slowly pulled away from the hug, turning to grab herself a beer too.  
“We could at least soak in it,” Helena suggested, “I’ve never been in a hot tub,” she then added.

“Well, we’re gonna have to fix that, now aren’t we?” Hunnigan smiled, not bothering to reveal that she hadn’t been in the tub either since her childhood days.

* * *

“Okay, this is kind of fun, but I gotta be honest; I don’t quite see what the fuss is about,” Helena confessed after soaking in the tub for a while. It didn’t really feel like worth the effort they’d had to put into filling and heating the tub, let alone the effort they’d have to put themselves through reversing their previous actions once they were done using the tub.

“At least now you can cross this off your bucket list,” Hunnigan chuckled, took a sip of her beer and moved over a little bit.  
“Yes, and I thank you for the opportunity,” Helena said as she pulled her legs back, bending from the knees as Hunnigan leaned against her, using Helena’s thighs as armrests.

“We’ll have to come back when it’s summer, we can go swimming in the lake. And you can go fishing if you like.”  
“What makes you think I would like fishing?” Helena laughed and Hunnigan shrugged one shoulder.

“I don’t know, something about you just says that you might.”  
“Well, I’ve never tried that either, so I guess we’ll find out some sunny day,” Helena said and slipped her arms around Hunnigan’s midsection, leaning to rest her chin ontop of the other woman’s head.

“Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you’d stayed with Michael?”  
“We’d probably be married and have a couple of kids because that’s what he wanted and I’d just play along because I’d be assuming that’s what normal people should want and should do. What a horrifying thought.”

“You don’t want to get married, have kids, grow old together?” Helena teased.  
“Not with Michael.”

“How about now?”  
“I still don’t want those things with him,” Hunnigan shrugged and Helena chuckled at the smartass comment.

“The other day, you said you wanted a family,” she then said and swallowed more of her beer before bringing the bottle down and beginning to tear at the label somewhat nervously.  
“I also said I used to have the hots for a nun, but that doesn’t mean you need to dress up as one,” Helena said and Hunnigan laughed and gently slapped Helena’s knee under the water.

“You know where I’m going with this. Do you want kids?”  
“Shouldn’t we get married first?”

“I’m serious.”  
“So am I, I wouldn’t want our children to be bastards,” Helena joked and Hunnigan sighed exaperation.

“Forget it,” she grumbled and was about to move from her spot but Helena stopped her by tightening her hold on Hunnigan.  
“All right, all right... You know I do. But you also know I’ve never even entertained the idea that I’d ever actually have them, so if you don’t want them, it won’t change anything either way,” she explained.

“It’s just... seeing you with Seeley when you were babysitting him, you seemed like a natural and that you really liked spending time with him.”  
“Yeah, well, it’s easier when it’s someone else’s baby, you can return him to the parents at the end of the day,” Helena shrugged, “I take it you’re saying you don’t want children,” she then added.

“I’m not saying anything, I honestly don’t know. I haven’t had to think about it until mom blurted out that she wants grandbabies from us,” Hunnigan smirked.  
“...you did tell her that it’s not biologically possible?” Helena jested.

“I’d hope I didn’t need to or I’d have to question her skills as a medical professional,” Hunnigan chuckled and finished her beer.  
“What kinda doctor is she?” Helena inquired and rose up to reach the cooler that was on a lawn chair by the hot tub.

“She’s a medical examiner,” Hunnigan responded as she accepted another bottle from Helena and opened it.  
“That explains the comment she made at Thanksgiving about how she should be carving the turkey because she’d do a better job at it than Lance since she cuts up people for a living.”

“What did you originally think she meant?” Hunnigan chuckled.  
“Honestly? I thought maybe she was a serial killer, but nobody talks about it.”

“My mom? Seriously? She’s tiny and adorable!”  
“And evidently she cuts up dead people for a living which I agree is an important job, but blows the hell out of tiny and adorable,” Helena said, taking a moment to imagine Alix elbow deep in a corpse. She shuddered and Hunnigan laughed heartily.

“I’m sorry it didn’t occur to me to explain that to you, I didn’t stop to think you had no way of knowing what she does,” she then apologized.  
“Well, all that aside... as far as us having children comes, I never expected that to happen. Not with you, not with anyone. Besides, I’ve always considered myself more of a dad than a mother anyway, so it’s not like I ever expected it to happen in real life,” Helena brought them back to the original topic of conversation.

“So, if it were an option, you’d want to have me barefoot and pregnant,” Hunnigan smirked, turning to glance at Helena over her shoulder.  
“Only if you’d actually want to have my babies, but basically, yes,” Helena laughed michievously.

“Huh...”  
“What?”

“Nothing, I just... If it were your baby... I mean, _our_ baby, I wouldn’t mind. I guess that sounds kind of strange considering I was adopted myself when I was a baby, but if I were to have a kid, I’d want it to be biologically mine and yours,” Hunnigan said and almost immediately regretted saying it out loud.

Best case scenario, they’d figure out a way to actually make it happen. Worst case scenario, Helena would take it as Hunnigan saying a definite no to the idea of having children even though that wasn’t how she’d meant it.

“I just... meant that... it would be my preference... okay, I obviously can’t word my thoughts correctly today so I think it’s best if I just stop talking,” Hunnigan mumbled and drowned the rest of her words with a generous swallow of her beer.

“Don’t worry, I get it,” Helena said softly and leaned to kiss the back of Hunnigan’s neck, holding her close, her grip tight and firm but comfortable.  
“Alas, mother nature is a bitch,” Hunnigan commented, finished her beer and put the empy bottle away, shaking her head in a silent “no thank you” when Helena went to move to get her another from the cooler.

 _Although, my mother did say she’s seen stranger things, so who knows, maybe one day,_ Hunnigan mused privately.

“True, she can be, so how about we just focus on things that don’t require breaking nature’s laws?” Helena said, her tone more nonchalant than her feelings, and Hunnigan could tell as much, but she had no argument, what was there to say?

“You’re too good to me,” Hunnigan said quietly and turned around in Helena’s arms, leaning to kiss her softly.  
“We’re good for each other,” Helena smiled into the kiss and pulled Hunnigan closer, yearning to feel her chest pressed against Hunnigan’s, needing more of her nude skin underneath her touch, longing for deeper kisses and more intimate touches.

“Ingrid...” Helena breathed into the kiss.  
“Yes?”

“Wanna go inside and try making a baby?” she grinned and Hunnigan let out an amused scoff.  
“Kind of, but we can’t, we have to empty the tub and do other annoying chores... plus, I think you’re a little bit drunk so it would be unethical,” she smirked.

“I’m not that drunk, I can still get it up,” Helena countered and Hunnigan burst out laughing.  
“You’re ridiculous, but I do think we should go back inside before we turn into prunes,” she then said, kissed Helena once more and began to climb out of the tub.

“I’m ridiculously in love with you,” Helena chuckled and seized the opportunity to softly slap Hunnigan’s backside as the other woman was leaving the tub.

A good while later, Helena went to the kitchen and paused when she noticed the Kinder eggs on the counter. She grabbed one, unwrapped it and cracked it open, but didn’t separate the halves completely. She then stepped up to Hunnigan who was returning from upstairs after having dressed.

“What?” she frowned a little and Helena got down on one knee and held up the chocolate egg like it was a ring box.

“Ingrid James Hunnigan, will you marry me?”  
“Oh, come on, be serious,” she laughed.

“Well, obviously I’ll get you a proper ring later.”  
“Helena, we’ve been together for... what, three months? You can’t be serious.”

“Hm, you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t have to rationalize everything,” Helena chuckled.  
“Well, one of us has to.”

“Yes, and I want you right there by my side rationalizing everything for me for the rest of my life, what’s so insane about that?”  
“Stop being cute, you have to admit this is a bit fast. And you’re Catholic, so it’s not like we could just get divorced if it turns out we can’t get along six months from now because as far as I know, marriage is like a life sentence for you guys,” Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her abdomen.

“Don’t you want to do a twenty to life with me?” Helena asked, becoming uncomfortably aware of the fact that the chocolate was melting in her hands and that Hunnigan was stalling, probably because she needed a moment to figure out how to word the rejection so that it wouldn’t be quite as blunt.

Hunnigan exhaled deeply as she thought about it. It was turning into an all-out war between her heart and the logical, cautious side of her mind, the former insisting that everything was different with Helena so there was no point in arguing over it, no point trying to deny it, and definitely no point in trying to explain it... But logically thinking, doing something like getting married, especially after such a short relationship, wasn’t like Hunnigan, it wasn’t sensible in any way, it was something lovestruck teenagers did because they didn’t care about the consequences. Not caring wasn’t something Hunnigan could afford to do. Frankly, she wasn’t capable of doing that, not even if she’d tried.

 _Committing isn’t like you, you always need to have the option to run away, can’t really do that once you’re married,_ Alix’s voice told her in the back of her mind, and it was speaking the truth. But she had no intention to run away. Not anymore.

“Okay, we haven’t been together for very long, but that doesn’t mean anything. Some people have been together for decades and they still don’t know each other,” Helena pointed out.  
“You’re right," Hunnigan smiled and reached to pick up the yellow shell from the chocolate that was almost completely melted on Helena’s palm. She squeezed it open and dug out a tiny polar bear.

“Yes, I will marry you.”  
“Would you have said no if there’d been a different toy in the egg?” Helena quirked an eyebrow and stood up straight.

“Well, I would've preferred something that requires assembly, but this will do,” Hunnigan teased as she wrapped her arms around Helena’s waist and pulled her closer.  
“Lucky me then,” the younger woman smiled and leaned in to kiss Hunnigan, the touch soft and gentle at first before growing deeper and hungrier until Hunnigan reluctantly broke it.

“Please, go wash your hand before you get chocolate all over me,” she smirked and Helena scoffed.  
“And just like that, the magic is gone,” she mumbled, pretending to pout as she headed to the sink to do as she was told while Hunnigan went outside to drain the tub and dry it off so that she could cover it up for the winter. When she got back inside a long while later, she noticed Helena sitting on the couch, staring at her phone.

“Are you okay?”  
“Yeah, I uhm... just... well...” Helena stammered and turned the phone a little bit to show the screen to Hunnigan. She was in her contacts and she’d selected Deborah’s number.

“I called her to let her know we’re getting married and it literally took me until I got the whole ‘the number you have dialed is not in service’-message before I realized I can’t call her anymore.”  
“Helena...”

“It’s okay, sometimes I just... forget,” she chuckled ruefully. Hunnigan went to sit next to her and pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back in slow circles, wishing she had something she could say, but knowing there were no words. Not ones she was willing to repeat anyway because she didn’t believe in those platitudes about how “she is probably still looking down at us, smiling” or some such nonsense. She didn’t believe in heaven and hell, in devils and gods; as far as she was concerned, this was it. This could be heaven or hell and you could be a devil or a god, all of that depending on how you lived your life.

“I’m okay,” Helena assured as she pulled back from the hug, inhaled and exhaled deeply and put the phone away then. Hunnigan merely nodded.  
“What do you say we celebrate our engagement by eating the rest of the chocolate eggs?” Helena then grinned.

“Well, it’s not like we can take them with us, so why not?” Hunnigan chuckled, already knowing she’d undoubtedly get sick from consuming such an excessive amount of chocolate, but regretted absolutely nothing.

***


	27. Conviction

Hunnigan woke up when Helena pulled over at the store’s parking lot and gently poked Hunnigan’s shoulder.

“Sorry, I just didn’t want you to sleep too much or you won’t be able to get to sleep later. What should I bring?” she asked. They were on their way home and there wasn’t much to eat left at the apartment since they’d emptied the fridge prior to their trip rather than leave anything to spoil.

“Eggs and milk for sure, the rest... is up to you,” Hunnigan yawned.

“Okay, I’ll be right back,” Helena smiled and got out of the car. Hunnigan exhaled deeply and dug out her phone only to realize it had ran out of battery.

_Of course,_ she grumbled internally. She sat still for a few minutes, just staring out of the window, but there wasn’t much to see, it was kind of late and there weren’t any people around to watch. Hunnigan opened the glove box in the hopes of finding something to read, she would’ve taken an owner’s manual at this point, but instead, she found a black leather bound copy of the Bible that had visible signs of some wear and tear on it.

_Well, why not,_ she mused and took it out, turning a little bit so that she could see in the light provided by the street lamp nearby. She opened the book and after the first couple of pages, she paused on the one that had a large tree printed on it, dedicated for a family tree the owners of the Bible could fill out. Apparently, this book had been in the family for a few generations now, the text at the top of the page indicating that the Bible had been given to a Roland Harper for a special occasion nearly a hundred years ago.

Hunnigan felt an unfamiliar kind of sadness dig its way through her chest when she looked over the latest entries, namely Helena and Deborah’s names, a small cross and the date of death written in Helena’s handwriting next to Deborah’s name.

_I’m the last one, the end of the line,_ Helena had said and looking at the page and all the blank space following what presumably was the last entry ever made into the book made Hunnigan feel like crying because that single page with that single message of Helena genuinely being the last one of her line represented an incredibly sad and unfair ending.

“Oh, have you decided to convert?” Helena teased when she got into the car after putting the groceries into the trunk and saw Hunnigan with the Bible. The taller woman chuckled ruefully and shook her head a little.  
“I was just curious to see what the fuss is all about, I’ve never read the Bible before,” Hunnigan smirked, “Can I borrow this?”

“Sure,” Helena said, having to admit she felt pleased Hunnigan was taking an interest. She knew better than to expect Hunnigan to share her beliefs, but her curiosity was quite welcome.

After getting back home and dragging their belongings and the groceries up to the apartment, they headed to bed. Hunnigan sat up, still skimming through the Bible, admitting she was intrigued by the story, but the more she read, the more she found herself questioning anyone who would take the book as a serious, literal guideline on how to live their life, especially nowadays.

“Y’know, whenever my dad couldn’t quite figure out what to do or couldn’t decide which way to go, he’d do this,” Helena said, took the Bible and closed her eyes before proceeding to flip through the pages, stopping and blindly stabbing her finger onto the page she’d picked up randomly.

“‘For just as the body without the spirit is dead, so also faith without work is dead’,” she quoted the passage from James underneath her fingertip.  
“I guess it was dad’s way of flipping a coin,” Helena then said and chuckled a little before going to brush her teeth.

“Huh,” Hunnigan humphed a little and took the Bible, repeating Helena’s action, figuring this was probably just as good a way to have her personal question answered than any.

_But increase you and multiply, and go upon earth and fill it._

“You have a sick sense of humor, don’t you?” Hunnigan burst out laughing as she addressed a deity she didn’t even really believe in.

“What’s so funny?” Helena inquired as she got in bed and Hunnigan shook her head a little.

“Nothing really, I just... I’m sorry, but I find pretty much every aspect of the whole idea of religion just completely ridiculous,” she shrugged and Helena rubbed her chin for a moment before pulling her legs back and leaning her arms against her knees.

“Look, my religion is a pretty big part of the foundation of who I am, and while I am not a religious nut who blindly believes just about anything, and while I can take a joke, I’d really wish you wouldn’t outright disrespect it,” she muttered.

“I understand that, but at the same time I don’t understand how someone as smart as you can believe in this stuff.”  
“There have been times in my life when I’ve felt pretty alone in this world. Having faith and believing there’s a reason things go the way they do is one of the few comforts I’ve had during some really dark times.”

“So, God’s your imaginary friend who works in mysterious ways to guide you,” Hunnigan commented dryly and Helena sighed deeply.  
“I know there’s a lot in that book that doesn’t make sense unless God’s a petty little man...”

“I’ll say, Job’s story is a perfect example. I mean, what kind of a God ruins a good man’s life just to win a bet the devil taunted him into accepting?” Hunnigan interjected annoyedly.  
“Yeah, I know, I know! I told you, I get it. But just because you don’t believe doesn’t mean I shouldn’t. I’m not trying to convert you, I’d expect you extended the same courtesy to me,” Helena scoffed and got out of the bed.

“Where are you going?”  
“I’m actually pretty angry at you right now, so I’m gonna go sleep on the couch,” Helena responded, reached to take the Bible back and headed down the stairs.

“Seriously? We’re gonna argue over this?”  
“No, no arguing, I’d just like to be alone for a while because you insulted my faith and I’m upset with you. Good night,” Helena said over her shoulder as she made her way downstairs.

“Fine!” Hunnigan called out after her and slumped back in the bed, turned off the light and buried herself deep under the covers. She closed her eyes and remained still, stubbornly spending the next half hour trying to force herself to fall asleep in vain. It wasn’t just because of the nap she’d taken in the car on the way home, it was because... Helena wasn’t there.

Hunnigan sighed in exasperation and got up. She went to the rail and looked down, glad to see Helena appeared to be still awake too.

“Hey,” she said and Helena tilted her head back to look at Hunnigan.  
“Hey,” the younger woman responded quietly.

“I don’t know how to sleep without you anymore,” Hunnigan told her and went downstairs. Without any further explanation, she stood by the couch, reached to grip the hem of Helena’s T-shirt and pulled it off of the younger woman, then turned and headed to the stairs, taking Helena’s shirt with her.

“What the hell?” Helena frowned.  
“I can’t sleep without you, but I’m still mad at you, so a shirt that smells of you will have to do,” Hunnigan said and went back upstairs, leaving behind a very confused Helena Harper, who didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

* * *

When Hunnigan woke up in the morning, she realized Helena had already gone to work. Sighing, she figured it was probably better that way, she didn’t want to risk turning this ridiculous argument into a long, stubborn battle over something that essentially made no difference in the way they lived their everyday life together.

_Then why does it bother me so much?_ Hunnigan frowned at herself as she went to brew some coffee. She noticed the coffee maker had already been loaded and Helena had left a note beside it.

_Just because I’m mad doesn’t mean I stop caring,_ it said and Hunnigan chuckled a little.

“Oh, Helena,” she exhaled deeply and turned the machine on, leaving it to work while she herself went to have a quick shower. After drying off and getting dressed, she poured herself a mug of coffee and added a generous amount of milk into it.

The coffee Helena made always tasted better. Hunnigan couldn’t figure out why that was, she’d witnessed Helena prepare the coffee several times and she’d never seen any hocus pocus that would’ve explained it. Perhaps it was the same unexplained phenomenon that applied to sandwiches too; one made by someone else always tasted better.

When Hunnigan arrived at the office about an hour later, she stopped in her tracks at the door when she saw Olivia.

“Good morning! I never knew you wore glasses,” she quirked an eyebrow at the other woman who had a pair of round thin framed glasses resting on her nose.

“Don’t get me started, it’s been one of those Mondays. First, I broke my flat iron; ironically as I was trying to avoid stepping on it, I stepped on it, so, fail,” Olivia sighed, “And then I dropped one of my contacts into the damn kitty litter box, so there goes that and I’m here in a state that I am not meant to be seen in outside of my apartment.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” Hunnigan chuckled a little and sat down at her desk, plugging her laptop in and turned it on.  
“I didn’t know you had a cat,” she then commented as she logged in.

“I gave up a couple of weeks ago and got one, so now I’m officially a cat lady.”  
“How much you wanna bet that the moment you stop actively looking for someone and trying to hard, you’ll find the love of your life?” Hunnigan smiled.

“Is that what happened with you and Helena?” Olivia smirked.

“Not exactly, I was never really looking, she just sort of... showed up. But I can tell you one thing, I never in my life imagined I’d end up in a relationship with her out of all people, so that just says to me that you never can tell what’ll happen,” Hunnigan shrugged a little and Olivia straightened her back to be able to see over the space divider between their desks and look at Hunnigan.

“Why not her? What’s wrong with her?” she asked, her tone akin to a tone a mother might use when demanding to know why her offspring supposedly wasn’t good enough for someone.

“There’s nothing wrong with her, it’s just that she’s not at all what I’d call ‘my type’, you know? She’s too young, too impulsive, she’s... Catholic,” Hunnigan listed in a mutter. Olivia quirked an eyebrow at the tone Hunnigan used when she spoke the last item on her list.

“I take it her faith is a problem for you.”  
“I just don’t understand how anyone can believe in that nonsense.”

“Look, as long as she’s not a Bible-thumping nut who forces you to go to Mass with her, what’s the problem? How is her faith taking anything away from you?” Olivia frowned, “I mean... unless she decides she wants to become a nun or something...”

“You’re right, and I know this is a stupid thing to get so annoyed about. I actually got into a fight with Helena about it last night,” Hunnigan confessed and Olivia rolled her eyes.  
“Stop being so narrow-minded and leave her alone. As long as she doesn’t force her beliefs on you, you shouldn’t force yours on her either,” she said.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” Hunnigan exhaled in defeat and reached to grab her phone as it rang.  
“It’s not me you should be apologizing to,” Olivia muttered as Hunnigan listened to the officer at the front desk talk to her on the phone.

“All right, I’ll be right there,” she said, ended the call and exited the office to pick up a delivery left for her at the front desk.  
“Well, wow-wow-wow, looks like your young, impulsive, Catholic girlfriend has a romantic streak eight miles wide,” Olivia smiled when Hunnigan reappeared, carrying a large bouquet of red roses.

“They’re not from Helena,” she said and Olivia frowned.  
“You didn’t even look at the card, how can you know?”

“Because Helena knows I don’t like roses, I think they’re a cliché. If she were to send me flowers, she’d know to send irises,” Hunnigan muttered.

“Ah, the symbol of wisdom, hope and valor... among other things, yeah, I can see why those would suit you better,” Olivia said and Hunnigan glanced at her but didn’t even question how or why Olivia knew so much about that too; she’d learned long ago that Olivia's mind was an extensive encyclopedia of random little seemingly useless facts she’d accumulated over years and could whip out at a moment’s notice if the occasion called for it.

Hunnigan dug out the small envelope embedded into the bouquet and tore it open, pulling out the card within. Olivia watched Hunnigan’s expression change as the taller woman read the card and judging from the look on Hunnigan’s face, Olivia could easily tell that the roses were not from a person Hunnigan wanted to hear from.

_I would’ve done better than just slapped your ass in the tub. Love, M._

* * *

__

_created by[Oceanmyhope](https://oceanmyhope.tumblr.com/), view in full size [here](https://i.imgur.com/X5GFYSu.jpg)_

* * *

Hunnigan wasn’t sure which was worse; realizing that Michael had been spying on her and Helena while they’d been in the tub at the cabin, or the fact that he’d actually gone and tracked her address down. Well, it was only her work address, but still, it wasn’t exactly public knowledge, so he’d had to go through some trouble to get it.

“Uh-oh, who are they from?” Olivia finally asked.  
“An ex-boyfriend I had the questionable pleasure running into while in Canada,” Hunnigan muttered and threw the card away.

“Happy Valentine’s day,” she then said and gave the roses to Olivia.

“It’s over a week until Valentine’s day,” the younger woman scoffed, “Meh, I’ll take it,” she then shrugged and accepted the flowers. Olivia then asked to know what had happened and Hunnigan told her.

“Wow, you must’ve made quite an impression on him if he’s still pining over you,” she said.  
“I can’t imagine why he would be, I didn’t say or do anything to encourage him. On the contrary, I quite cruelly made it perfectly clear that I do not want him in my life. And now I find out he was stalking me and Helena? And he tracked me down here? He’s delusional,” Hunnigan scoffed.

“Maybe. Sounds to me like he’s one of those types of people who imagine a relationship with someone they’ve never even met. Like those type who stalk celebrities and are convinced they’re sending them signals in interviews or movies and such. So, maybe he didn’t interpret your rejection as rejection.”

“I don’t care what he imagines, I just don’t understand why now. If it was this easy for him to find me, why hasn’t he done it sooner?”  
“How do you know he hasn’t?” Olivia said and Hunnigan frowned.

“What are you talking about?”  
“Well, are you convinced that you running into him at the store was a coincidence? I mean, most people never even realize they’re being stalked... unless the stalker feels the need to make their presence known. For all you know, he could have a little shrine dedicated to you, walls plastered with pictures of you obviously taken from a long distance...”

“That is not funny.”  
“Who’s laughing? You don’t know that I’m wrong. He could be dangerous. Not to you necessarily, but definitely to Helena if he decides that she’s the only thing standing between him and you.”

“Don’t tell me things like that! The last thing I need is to get all paranoid,” Hunnigan groaned.  
“Hey, need I remind you I’m a professional profiler, weeding out genuinely scary people and trying to figure out how they think is what I do.”

“And here I thought you quit that,” Hunnigan smirked.  
“Okay, well, yes, because spending too much time inside the minds of monsters was depressing and scary, but I was damn good at what I did. And I’m telling you now that based on what you’ve told me, this guy is not mentally stable and that while you shouldn’t get all paranoid, you should be careful,” Olivia said seriously and Hunnigan exhaled deeply.

“All right. I promise, I’ll be careful. Can we please talk about something else before I seriously freak out?” she requested.  
“Sure thing, and I don’t mean to scare you, I’m just saying...”

“And I hear what you’re saying, but I’d really rather just...” Hunnigan trailed off and shook her head a little, “Do you have any plans for Valentine’s?” she finally changed the subject.  
“Hah, you’re joking, right? No, nothing. I’d rather you tell me what you and Helena have been up to, you know I like to live vicariously through you two.”

“Well... this is not yet common knowledge and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone, but... there’s been talk of marriage.”  
“Oh, my God!” Olivia squealed and scampered to roll her chair over to Hunnigan’s desk. “Details, dish!” she then demanded.

“She proposed to me with a Kinder egg,” Hunnigan said.  
“Yeah, that sounds like something she’d do,” Olivia laughed softly, “I think it’s adorable she popped the question even though she doesn’t even call you by your first name,” she then vexed.

“Helena likes to take things slow, we won’t be on a first name-basis until our tenth anniversary,” Hunnigan joked back.  
“So, when’s everything happening, where are you having the ceremony, will it be a big fancy one?”

“Calm down,” Hunnigan chuckled, “We haven’t set a date or anything, we haven’t made any plans whatsoever, we’ve merely discussed the possibility and decided that we will do it at some point.”

“How can you be so calm about it? If this was me, I’d be floating and singing and puking rainbows and butterflies everywhere,” Olivia listed and Hunnigan let out an amused scoff, having no doubt that Olivia wasn’t even exaggerating, the woman was practically floating now, and this was just them discussing Hunnigan’s relationship with Helena.

“You know me, I’m the down to earth pessimistic type who never shows enthusiasm. But seriously? I am actually kind of excited... and nervous too, it’s a big commitment,” Hunnigan admitted.  
“It is, but knowing you, you would never had said yes if you had any doubts about your relationship with Helena.”

“You’re right, you’re absolutely right,” Hunnigan nodded, “I’ve never felt this way with anyone else. I never imagined I’d get married, I never even really wanted to get married before, or that I’d want...” she continued but cut herself off before disclosing the fact that she’d begun seriously considering the typical “what comes after”-scenario of having children.

Frankly, it was possible that the few times she’d babysat Seeley with Helena had set off the notorious biological clock, maybe this desire to have a child was just mother nature’s attempt at pushing her to fulfill her duty as a human female while she still could, maybe it would pass. Or, maybe it wouldn’t. It was impossible to say for sure either way, but she did know one thing for certain. The more she thought about it, the more she found herself really wanting it.

“You’d want what?” Olivia inquired, bringing Hunnigan back to reality from her thoughts and Hunnigan cleared her throat awkwardly.  
“Uh... just that... I’d want to get married, share my life with someone, all that. I’ve always been better off alone, you know?” she avoided.

“So, who will wear the big poofy dress?” Olivia then asked and Hunnigan laughed a little.  
“Liv, please, you’re getting ahead of yourself. I told you, we haven’t discussed any details. I personally would prefer just simply signing a piece of paper in front of a judge and some witnesses.”

“I knew you would say that! I knew it!” Olivia laughed victoriously and Hunnigan felt herself blush a little at being so obvious.  
“That said..! If Helena wants a big wedding then... I’m not gonna tell her no. Once we decide how it’s going to be, you’ll be the first to know,” Hunnigan then promised.

“Oh, please, I’ll have your wedding planned on Pinterest by the end of the day,” Olivia grinned and Hunnigan knew she wasn’t joking or even exaggerating.

***


	28. Something wicked this way comes

Helena’s foul mood hadn’t improved during the day, mostly because she’d spent the majority of it going over boring reports, having to read the same paragraphs over and over because her mind had kept wandering back to the ridiculous fight she’d had with Hunnigan. She didn’t think she was being unreasonable, all she’d asked for was that Hunnigan would just stop intentionally and openly insulting her faith, it wasn’t like she’d asked Hunnigan to get baptized. As much as she hated arguing with Hunnigan, especially over something like this, she also had no intention of being the one to apologize, not over this one. Helena braced herself and stepped into the apartment, expecting to walk right into round two.

“Before you say anything, let me just tell you that I get it, there is no God, I’m living in a delusion, it’s in my head and I’m stupid for believing, right?” Helena began before Hunnigan had even had a chance to greet her.

“It’s not your lack of faith that hurts me, I have no problem with that, it’s your choice and I respect that. What bothers me is that you’re not respecting mine. And while you’re on your crusade _not_ to believe and telling me that there is no God, and that the thing that’s gotten me through some tough times is just my imagination, you’re insulting something that’s a big part of who I am at the core. Basically, you’re telling me that I’m stupid for having a different world view, and I _know_ you know what that feels like, because it’s not very different from what Michael did to you when he told you that you were being an idiot for believing that life is worth living. Now, do you understand why I’m upset?” Helena finished her rehearsed speech.

Hunnigan stood there in stunned silence for a few moments before finally nodding slowly.

“I understand. And I’m sorry. I really am, I was small-minded and hurtful about something that’s important to you and you deserve better, especially from me. I’m sorry, I truly am.”

“Okay, well... good. Thank you,” Helena said, surprised at how easily this appeared to be resolved. Of course, fighting over it would be pointless since neither one of them was going to change, at least not any time soon.

“Olivia thinks I’m picking stupid fights with you because I’m afraid of commitment and since I’ve already agreed to marry you, I can’t just run away so my only option is to chase you away with... this nutty behavior,” Hunnigan muttered and Helena quirked an eyebrow.

“Please tell me she’s wrong.”

“I don’t know, she could be, but she could also be right. I mean, if it really is what I’m doing, it’s not a conscious decision, I don’t want to run away from you or chase you away either. But I guess some things are just pretty deeply rooted, I’ve never done this before so my natural instinct is to end the relationship before I get so tangled in it that I can’t get out anymore.”

“I’m starting to feel guilty for proposing.”  
“You don’t have to,” Hunnigan shook her head and took Helena’s hands into her own, “I want this, I want you... if you’re willing to waste your life with someone who most likely won’t be sharing your afterlife.”

“Nah, you’ll be there,” Helena said confidently and Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow. “Hey, it’s going to be my heaven, and it wouldn’t be heaven if you weren’t there so,” she added with a shrug.  
“What a loophole!”

“Right?” Helena laughed gently and sighed then, turning to look at her hands that were still in Hunnigan’s. “I still owe you that proper ring.”

“You don’t owe me anything, and the little polar bear will do just fine until we absolutely have to get rings for the ceremony, and even then we could just make those out of the tinfoil from the chocolate eggs,” Hunnigan said and Helena chuckled before leaning to give her a long, soft kiss.

“I’m getting you a proper ring,” she then said.  
“Just as long as you won’t go overboard with it, all right? I don’t want it to be anything big and expensive.”

“Hey, once you’re over a hundred thousand in debt, what’s another couple of thousand gonna do?” Helena laughed and Hunnigan sighed deeply.

“I’m serious.”  
“So am I.”

“Helena!”  
“All right, all right, look, I know, you want it simple and elegant and tasteful, like I’d ever get you some tacky huge ring, give me some credit,” the younger woman smirked.

“Considering how horrible your finances evidently are, no one should be giving you credit,” Hunnigan vexed and Helena laughed.  
“Just how did you end up so much in debt anyway?” Hunnigan then inquired and Helena cleared her throat somewhat awkwardly.

“Well, I’m sure you remember there was an incident regarding Deborah’s abusive boyfriend...”  
“Yes, you shot his ear off,” Hunnigan recalled. She couldn’t deny that she sometimes worried about Helena’s temper.

She wasn’t scared of Helena hurting her, no, she didn’t think Helena would ever do anything like that, but... she did worry Helena would commit atrocities if she believed she was doing it for the right reasons. If she thought she was protecting Hunnigan for example. With that in mind, Hunnigan decided not to tell Helena about the flowers Michael had sent. It was to protect Helena more than it was to protect Michael.

“Yeaaah...” Helena continued her story awkwardly, “and he did what anyone would do, he sued me. He was asking for over a million, but my lawyer told me to take it court and go for a mistrial.”  
“Horrible advice.”

“It would’ve been had my lawyer not been a particularly good one.”  
“How could you afford him?”

“I couldn’t. All he said was that he’d been sent by ‘the agency’. And I was like whaaa, but later I realized Simmons had taken an interest in me and it was in his interests to see me come out of it unscathed... so that he could manipulate me later, you know how that went,” Helena muttered and shook her head a little to shake off the bad memories.

“My lawyer kept reminding the jury that Deborah’s ex was an abusive dick and he somehow managed to make me look like some kind of a war hero... which I’m not, I spent most of my time in base camp fixing and maintaining helicopters, but all my lawyer really had to say was ‘American soldier’ and boom, I’m a hero at least to some which was enough,” Helena said and inhaled deeply.

“Anyway, thanks to my brilliantly sleazy lawyer, it ended in a mistrial and now I’m paying off Deborah’s student loans, and the hundred thousand was a bit of an exaggeration to be honest, I’m managing fine,” she then explained and Hunnigan nodded slowly.

She knew how much Helena made and even before taxes, it wasn’t much to write home about, especially when considering how dangerous her job could be. But that was the way the world worked; police officers and firemen weren’t paid much either and they also risked their lives on a daily basis, not to mention how little other necessary professionals like nurses and teachers made.

 _Not something I can fix, not alone. Gotta let go,_ Hunnigan mused silently.

“You know, I could help you with that,” she then said and Helena immediately shook her head.  
“No, but thanks for offering.”

“But why not? I’ve got about a hundred thousand stashed away and I don’t really need it for anything myself, but putting it aside just seems like the sensible thing to do, so of course I’ve done just that.”  
“You’ve got a hundred thousand you can just throw around like that?” Helena chuckled at the ease with which Hunnigan spoke of it.

Helena was lucky to have a couple of hundred stashed away for a rainy day (which was usually around the 25th of every month, about a week before payday) and she never quite managed to leave it alone, she always found something she needed to borrow at least twenty bucks for from her savings. She tried, but as long as at the end of the day she’d managed to pay all her bills and still have enough to get by with, she was happy. Frankly, it really didn’t leave her with much money to buy that ring she’d told Hunnigan she’d get... but she would never admit all that to Hunnigan.

“Well, yeah. Over the years my pay’s gone up but my expenses have remained the same, plus I’ve made a few good investments that have paid off nicely, so I could afford it, easily.”  
“Look, I appreciate the offer, but I really don’t want to go down that road. And since we’re on the subject, I think we should keep our finances separate even after marriage, at least until I’ve paid off all that I owe.”

“I don’t think it’s necessary, but if it’s what you want, I won’t argue,” Hunnigan said and then grinned a little when an idea came to her.  
“But, I will pay for our wedding. Deal?”

“Ooh, I get to have a hundred thousand dollar princess wedding at your expense?” Helena jested and Hunnigan laughed before leaning in to hug Helena tightly.  
“If it’s what you really want, you can have it,” she answered sincerely and kissed the shorter woman deeply.

“Naw, I just want our closest friends and family around at a nice yet elegant ceremony,” Helena smiled into the kiss.  
“Anything for my fiancée.”

“Hah! I think I’m gonna cry,” Helena then said as she pulled back from the kiss and Hunnigan frowned.  
“What, why?”

“Because I’m your fiancée and you’re mine, I’d never even thought of it like that, or that word, you know? I never thought I of all people would have a _fianceé,_ it just makes me ridiculously happy,” Helena chuckled.  
“Well, then how about you let your _fiancée_ cook you dinner and afterward we just snuggle?” Hunnigan suggested and Helena sighed deeply.

“Aw, I wish I could, but I promised to go back to the office, I meant to stop by only to try to resolve this argument we had and maybe grab a quick bite to eat. I’m supposed to go through all the appplications people have sent over in response to our recruitment ad,” she said.

“I understand,” Hunnigan smiled and kissed Helena again before moving toward the kitchen.

“I’ll fix you something to eat, how about a sandwich? Mayo, no mustard?”  
“You know me so well,” Helena said happily and slumped to sit on the couch for a little break. A few moments later, she was finished with her quick snack and had to head out again.

Helena had barely stepped out of the door when Hunnigan’s phone rang.

“Yeah?”  
“Hey, it’s me, Liv.”

“Yes, I know, I can see your name on my screen when you call,” Hunnigan smirked dryly, “What’s up?”  
“I just realized something. The flowers Michael sent you. They came in first thing in the morning, right?”

“Yes, what of it?”  
“How did he manage that? It was the weekend when you met him, right?”

“Well, yes, it was...” Hunnigan trailed off when she thought about it.  
“So, realistically, there’s really no way he could’ve had the time to figure out your address, call a flower delivery service and have them come over.”

“What are you saying?” Hunnigan frowned and scoffed when there was a knock on the door. Helena had evidently forgotten her keys again. It was miracle she hadn’t lost them completely by now.

“I’m saying he didn’t have the flowers delivered! He brought them over personally, he knows where you are!” Olivia said the moment Hunnigan unlocked the door and realized a fraction of a second too late that she’d just made a huge mistake.

***


	29. Soft nightmare

Helena closed her fist around her keys to keep them from jingling as she stuck one of them into the lock and quietly opened the door. With her pistol drawn, she circled to check the kitchen before heading upstairs, avoiding the two steps she knew would creak.

It took all her willpower to not just shoot when she saw Michael, leaning over Hunnigan as she pushed her hands against his shoulders to keep him away. He was saying something about this time being different, that he’d take it slow and he’d be sweet. Hunnigan didn’t understand what he meant and she didn’t want to either. She twisted her hips and pushed her feet against his thighs, shoving him away from herself. When there was enough room, she pulled her legs back and kicked him in the chin, but instead of being completely stunned by it, he just got angry.

“Why do you have to be such a God damn bitch? Huh?” he growled and shoved his hand over Hunnigan’s throat, his thumb digging into her jaw, the tips of his other fingers pushing into the sensitive flesh of the back of her neck, pinching on a muscle that seemed to be connected to everything because the pressure he caused sent a burning jolt of pain toward the top of her head and down to her shoulder blade.

Helena launched herself at Michael, impacting to his side with such force it threw them both off the bed and against the wooden railing which broke underneath their weight. They fell to the lower level, Michael landing back first onto the coffee table, crushing it underneath him. Michael broke Helena’s fall, but she still got some of the wind knocked out of her and she needed to take a few seconds to recover, but thankfully, so did Michael.

Helena gripped the front of his shirt and pulled him up, holding onto him as she drew her left hand back and punched him repeatedly. When he raised his arms to shield his head, she delivered a series of hard punches into his torso in a quick staccato, ending it in a left hook to his ribs, delivering a livershot that left him complaining loudly in pain.

Helena reached for the coffee table’s leg that had broken off of it and raised it above her head, and the moment she was about to bash Michael’s head in with it, Hunnigan grabbed her arm with both of her hands, having to lean back and cling to Helena's arm with most of her body weight to be able to stop her.

“No! Don’t! You’ll kill him and he’s not worth going to jail for,” she said as the yanked the piece of wood from Helena’s hand and threw it aside.  
“You’re right... you’re right,” Helena muttered as she stood up slowly, still tempted to kick him, but he was already down, lying on his side and whining as he writhed in pain from the livershot.

Helena turned her full attention to Hunnigan and gently cupped her face in her hand. There was a small bruise on Hunnigan’s jaw, it would probably get bigger before it got better.

“I’m not hurt, I’m just... startled,” Hunnigan said, twisting her hands a little awkwardly because she wasn’t sure what she was feeling or how she should be feeling even.  
“Okay,” Helena whispered, not asking more questions, not insisting anything to the contrary and Hunnigan clenched her teeth as she tried to push back the sobs that were rising up from her chest to her throat. She failed.

Helena put her arms around Hunnigan and pulled her into a tight embrace, covering the side of Hunnigan’s face with gentle little kisses as she whispered every reassuring thing she could think of, and when she did that, Hunnigan actually believed it because she could tell Helena believed it too, somehow she always seemed to _know_ that everything would be all right. Maybe that was because of her faith and her unrelenting belief that someone was always watching over her. Times like this, Hunnigan envied Helena’s faith.

* * *

After the police officers Olivia had called to the scene had taken Michael into custody and after Helena and Hunnigan had given their statements about the incident, they headed over to Hunnigan’s parents. The moment they entered the house, Alix pulled Hunnigan into a hug and held onto her so hard Hunnigan could swear she heard her ribs crack a little.

“Mom, I’m okay. It could’ve been a lot worse, thankfully it didn’t get that far, everything’s okay, really,” Hunnigan said, quite frankly trying to convince herself of it more than she was trying to assure Alix at the moment.  
“Good thing you were there,” Lance said, reaching to put his hand onto Helena’s shoulder and squeezed it.

“Well, actually, the credit for the swift rescue really goes to Olivia; she figured it out and called me to get back home,” Helena said.  
“Where is Dr. Brooks anyway?” Alix asked as she slowly pulled back from the hug, “I haven’t seen her since...” she trailed off, trying to remember.

“...since she tried to analyze Lucy and got so scared she quit the Bureau,” Hunnigan offered. While Olivia had never said quite as much, Hunnigan was convinced Lucy had been the last straw when she’d contemplated on whether to continue at the F.B.I. or not. The case involving Lucy had been the last one she’d worked for the agency.

“I’m sure she’ll stop by,” Hunnigan then said.  
“Listen, I’m gonna go back home and pick up some things and clean up the place a bit, okay?” Helena then said and Hunnigan agreed.

“Uhm, could you give us a moment?” she then requested from her parents and they nodded, retreating into the living room to give them some privacy.  
“Remember that hundred thousand bucks I mentioned I have saved up?” Hunnigan began and Helena nodded.

“How about we use that as a down payment for a house? I don’t think I want to go back to the loft, not after everything that’s gone wrong there recently,” Hunnigan said in a quiet mutter and Helena smiled ruefully.  
“Yeah, we can do that,” she agreed and leaned to kiss Hunnigan’s lips softly.

“I think I’ll go take a shower and try to get some rest. I’ll kick Lucy out of my room so we can stay there,” Hunnigan then smirked a little and Helena chuckled.  
“Okay, I’ll be back soon and I’ll bring your phone and laptop and some other stuff, all right?”

“Thank you. I love you.”  
“I love you too.”

* * *

“Mom! A little privacy, thank you!” Hunnigan exclaimed when Alix burst into the room without knocking while Hunnigan was getting dressed after having taken a long, hot shower in an attempt to wash away the feeling of Michael’s hands grabbing at her and banish the smell of him that somehow still felt like it was clinging to her.

“Oh, please, you’re talking to the woman who breastfed you, changed your diapers and used to wipe your butt, not to mention I’m a medical professional, so I highly doubt you’ve got anything I haven’t already seen,” Alix dismissed with a shrug.

“I was adopted, how could you have breastfed me?” Hunnigan frowned and pulled on a T-shirt.  
“Motherly love and determination, I willed myself to lactate just to feed my sweet baby angel, namely, you,” Alix said dryly and Hunnigan narrowed her eyes at her.

“I was pregnant when we adopted you, but I miscarried and afterward I figured that since I could feed you then, why not,” Alix explained.  
“I didn’t know you were expecting when you adopted me.”

“Yes, well, why would you have?”  
“...I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say.”

“Well, to be honest, this conversation is getting a little too frank for my liking also, so how about we talk about something else?” Alix smiled ruefully and put the fresh sheets she’d brought over onto the bed.

“As long as you won’t ask me anything about Michael, then sure,” Hunnigan said and went to make the bed.  
“Just one question.”

“All right, what?” Hunnigan sighed as she pulled the sheet from the bed and haphazardly folded it before dropping it onto the floor so that she could take it to laundry later.  
“Did he rape you?”

“No, he didn’t. I told you, it didn’t get that far.”  
“I know what you said, but I also know that when it comes to things like that, women tend to lie because they’re ashamed. Or because they’re scared of their partner’s reaction,” Alix said and grabbed the other end of the sheet, helping Hunnigan stretch it neatly over the mattress.

“Yes, and considering how invasive even I felt all the questioning I went through afterward was, I can see why women who have actually gotten raped would rather pretend it never happened, but I’m telling you the truth, he didn’t get that far. I’m sure that was his intention, but he...” Hunnigan tailed off and sucked in a shuddering breath.

“I got lucky. Olivia heard me drop the phone when he shoved his way into the apartment and Helena was nearby so she could get there before he... managed to get beyond dragging me upstairs. Then Helena turned up, beat the hell out of him and he was arrested, end of story,” she then said, inhaled deeply through her nose and let it out in a slow exhale, the sudden urge to burst into tears slowly passing.

“All right. But you know you can talk to me about it if you want to,” Alix said.  
“I know I can, of course. But I don’t really have much to say. Well, except...”

“Yes?”  
“I’m just... stunned at how easily he overpowered me, I mean, I should know how to handle myself, even if he is a big guy. And still, I just froze. I don’t understand why. I feel like I should’ve fought back, but instead I told myself that just let him do it and then it’ll be over, and I don’t know why I just... gave up like that!” Hunnigan said, tears of frustration brimming in her eyes as she slumped to sit on the edge of the bed.

“You didn’t give up, you simply did the smart thing,” Alix said and sat next to her, bringing her hand to softly touch Hunnigan’s jaw and examined the bruising on her skin.  
“...because judging from these, he could’ve very easily snapped your neck if you had pissed him off. I know you feel like you should’ve done more, but I’m telling you, you did the right thing,” Alix said, put her arm around Hunnigan’s shoulders and pulled her into a hug.

“You feel a little warm,” she then said and put her palm over Hunnigan’s forehead.  
“I’m fine, mom,” she chuckled through tears and sat up straight.

“Nope, I’m telling you, tomorrow you’ll have a cold.”  
“How can you know?” Hunnigan scoffed and wiped her eyes.

“A mother knows,” Alix shrugged as if that were the ultimate answer to everything.  
“Now, get to bed,” she then said and pulled the cover back.

“Fine, but only because choose to do so, not because you told me to,” Hunnigan stated and settled to lie down and Alix promptly tucked her in like she were a child again, but today Hunnigan didn’t mind it at all.  
“I’ll clear my schedule tomorrow so that I can look after you. I’ll be on call in case of an emergency, but right now, you’re my biggest emergency.”

“How flattering,” Hunnigan rolled her eyes, “I really don’t want you to do that, I’m a big girl, I’ll be fine.”  
“I don’t care how tall you get, you’re still my little girl and I worry about you. Now, get some sleep,” Alix then said softly and kissed Hunnigan’s forehead before getting up.

“Yes, ma’am,” Hunnigan chuckled, “Good night, mom.”

* * *

Helena had been chain smoking on the patio for almost an hour when Lucy went to her, nonchalantly lighting up as well.

“Did you steal my pack again?” Helena quirked an eyebrow when she noticed Lucy was holding a pack of the same brand Helena smoked.  
“You forget, I am of age, I can buy my own,” Lucy said and inhaled the smoke, “But I do give you some credit, I wouldn’t have known I like these if I hadn’t tried some from your pack.”

“I’m flattered,” Helena said sarcastically.  
“Dad told me to come get you inside,” Lucy then delivered the message she’d been sent to bring.

“Yeah, okay, in a minute.”

“I’m really glad you were there earlier,” Lucy then said, surprising Helena with her statement. The last time the subject of keeping Hunnigan safe had been the topic of conversation between the two of them, Lucy had made it clear she didn’t trust Helena to protect her.

“But I can’t believe you didn’t kill him.”  
“Believe me, I wanted to and I would’ve if your sister hadn’t stopped me. But she’s right, killing him would’ve just landed me in prison, he’s not worth that.”

“Maybe. And maybe if and when he makes bail or something, he’ll... get into an accident,” Lucy said through her teeth, narrowing her eyes a little as she contemplated on going after him and Helena scoffed. She had no doubt Lucy meant what she said and she was certain Lucy had what it took to pull off something like that, and Helena realized that Lucy really could be very dangerous.

 _No wonder Olivia got scared trying to figure out what makes Lucy tick,_ Helena thought.

“If anyone’s gonna kill that bastard, it’ll be me,” Lance said, making both of them jump a little at his sudden appearance. He took a seat on the outdoor sofa and handed Helena a beer.  
“Thanks,” she said and took a drink from the bottle.

“Dad, I want one too.”  
“Well, too bad, you can’t have one. It’s bad enough you’ve picked up smoking,” Lance told her and she sighed.

“It’s not like I’m really smoking-smoking, I’m just kind of... flirting with the idea,” Lucy defended her vice.  
“Go inside and help your mother clear the dishes, Helena and I’ve got some grown up-stuff to talk about.”

“I am a grown up!”  
“Now, Lucy!” he said sternly and Lucy seemed to shrink a little underneath his glare. Helena had to admit she herself would’ve shrunk as well had his glare been directed at her. She’d never seen him angry before, on the contrary, he seemed like the kind of a man who wasn’t even capable of getting angry... which just made his anger scarier. Lucy put out her cigarette and went back inside, the look on her face making it clear she would’ve wanted to mutter something obscene, but didn’t quite dare to.

“I’m not usually a violent guy, but if I could get my hands on that fucking piece of garbage, I’d rip his balls off with my bare hands,” Lance said.  
“I’d pay to see that,” Helena agreed.

“That said, I don’t think Ingrid needs a bunch of white knights right now. What she needs is to know she’s loved and safe, you hear what I’m saying?” he then asked, turning to look at Helena.  
“That I shouldn’t go out looking for revenge because it would just make it all worse.”

“Exactly. And the last thing she needs is to blame herself for what happened and in addition to that, blame herself for the fact that you... or I... did something stupid and got ourselves in trouble because of her. You know, since... it wouldn’t be because of her. Am I making any sense?” Lance then asked.

“Yes, she probably already thinks she brought the assault on herself somehow, and that assault would also be what caused us to do stupid things,” Helena summarized and Lance nodded, Helena’s wording of it making more sense than his scattered thoughts had even if the principle was the same.

“I’ll be honest with you, even though the worst didn’t happen, I still feel like it did. And I don’t know what to do about that. I mean, I should know, I’ve been a parent to kids who have been abused and hurt, kids like Lucy, but it’s still... different.”

“If you’re looking for input from a stable, well-adjusted individual on how to deal with difficult things, I’m really not the right person to talk to,” Helena said somewhat amusedly and Lance chuckled ruefully.  
“I don’t know what I’m looking for. You were there, what really happened?” he then asked quietly.

“You’re not gonna wanna hear it.”  
“I know, but I need you to tell me anyway.”

“If I’d gotten there a few minutes later, he would’ve raped her, that’s a fact. But he didn’t get that far, thank God. I don’t know what happens to him next, but I do know he didn’t get what he wanted, and that’s a huge relief, and we should be grateful nothing worse happened and move on rather than keep reminding Ingrid about it by questioning her or... stuff,” Helena said and Lance exhaled deeply, nodding his head a little.

“You’re right. Good talk,” he then chuckled a little and stood up, and Helena followed his example and stepped back inside the house.

“Actually, Lance, there’s something else I’ve been meaning to talk to you about,” she then said and he raised his eyebrows in a silent question.

“I’m kind of old-fashioned about some things and this is one of them, and I should’ve asked you before, but it was kind of an _ex tempore_ -thing when it happened.”  
“What was?”

“I... asked Ingrid to marry me, and being the old-fashioned-type, I feel like I should’ve asked for your permission first.”  
“Damn right you should’ve!” he scoffed and Helena cleared her throat awkwardly. She hadn’t expected quite this kind of a reaction.

“She’s my baby girl and I sure as hell expect to have some say in who is good enough for her, especially when we’re talking about something as big as marriage.”  
“I understand, and that’s why I’m asking you about it and I’m sorry I didn’t before, it’s just... like I said, it just kind of happened.”

“Well, it shouldn’t ‘just happen’, you should do it properly and not just blurt it out in the heat of the moment, what kind of a proposal is that?” Lance scoffed and Helena would’ve wanted to answer, but couldn’t find the words, instead she stood there, with her mouth open, feeling about as stupid as she was sure she looked right about now.

“Lance, stop bullying my future daughter-in-law,” Alix scolded him as she came to Helena’s rescue and Lance burst out laughing.  
“What’s... happening?” Helena stammered.

“I’m just messing with you,” Lance chuckled.  
“...what?”

“I’m joking, I’m not really mad at you, and I sure as hell wasn’t expecting anyone to ever ask me permission to propose to my daughter, although I appreciate that,” Lance elaborated.  
“He was just imitating my father,” Alix rolled her eyes and slapped his shoulder.

“I was,” Lance nodded, “I mean, imagine the grandson of an Irish immigrant facing off with a hoity-toity French-Canadian guy, it was a showdown worth seeing, and I bet I looked about as confused and terrified as you just did,” he continued , still laughing a little bit.

“Yeah, I’m still kind of confused and terrified,” Helena said awkwardly.  
“Pay him no heed, he’s just being childish,” Alix said and put her arm around Helena’s shoulders protectively.

“Hey, I do have one thing to say to this, in all seriousness,” Lance then said.  
“Which is..?”

“She’s keeping her last name.”

“Honey, your last name was a typo,” Alix rolled her eyes and turned to Helena, “It was originally Hannigan, but someone messed up his grandparents’ immigration papers,” she explained.  
“Yeah, which is what makes the name all the more important and special,” Lance defended his legacy.

“I, uhm... Well, we hadn’t discussed anything about stuff like that, and I had actually assumed she would keep her name,” Helena stuttered a little. Now that she thought about it, she could barely even imagine Hunnigan being called by any other name, least of all Harper.

“In that case, you have my blessing,” he smiled.  
“As if they needed that,” Alix rolled her eyes at him again.

“Come on, Ali, just let me enjoy a successful prank, you know I’ve only had one chance to do it before, and Nina’s husband didn’t even fall for it because that guy has no manners.”  
“You had your fun, Lancelot, now leave her alone so that we can discuss wedding plans,” Alix ordered him gently.

“All right, just one more thing,” Lance said and Helena braced herself. Lance put his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug.

“Welcome to the family.”

***


	30. Still the same woman

“Oh, my God, you sound like Bea Arthur,” Olivia commented when Hunnigan called her to let her know she was sick and wouldn’t be coming to work today.

“Yeah, no shit. I think my mother jinxed me, she told me this would happen,” Hunnigan grumbled and sniffled a little bit.  
“You sound so sick I’m starting to feel like my nose is stuffed up.”

“I get it, I sound sick, and that’s because I am sick, can we move on or do you have any other useless comments regarding the obvious state of my health?”  
“Sorry.”

“I know we’re supposed to be looking over the applications sent to us regarding hiring new agents, can you handle that or should we reschedule it?” Hunnigan then asked before getting a vicious coughing fit. Olivia waited for her to finish before speaking.

“Helena, Leon, and I can handle it, don’t worry about it. I know you like to think you’re irreplaceable... okay, well, you are, but we got this,” Olivia said.  
“Good, thank you. Send me the files of those who make the cut, okay? I want to look them over as well.”

“Of course. Is there anything else I can do for you?” Olivia then asked, not saying it bluntly, but trusting that Hunnigan would get her meaning.  
“No, thank you, but if I ever find myself needing a have my head shrunk, you’ll be the first person I’ll call,” Hunnigan chuckled a little bit.

“All right. But just to remind you, despite what one might think after talking with me for two minutes, I actually am a mental health professional, so...”  
“I know, Liv, and I really appreciate the offer, but it’s not necessary. Focus on weeding out crazy people from the applicants for now,” Hunnigan smiled before saying goodbye and ending the call.

She then shrugged off her clothes and went to grab a towel, but paused in front of the full body mirror embedded into the closet door. She hadn’t been completely honest about what had happened, if not dishonest either. The detective assigned to the case and the medical staff knew the full details, but she had chosen not to disclose all of them to her family and to Helena.

Hunnigan raised her arm and turned a little to see herself better in the mirror. The bruises were still in their fresh, dark state and clearly visible, almost as if someone had dipped their hand in paint and smeared it on her, except this wouldn’t wash off.

There were marks on her sides left behind by Michael’s arms as he’d wrapped them around her and tightened with such force it was a miracle her ribs hadn’t cracked under the pressure. Another set of bruises on the front of her thighs and on her knees left behind by the floor and the side of the bed when he’d thrown her toward it sideways like she were a mere ragdoll.

Clear prints on her hips where he’d grabbed her to be able to lift her onto the bed completely, similar ones on her shoulder which he’d gripped to force her to turn around. More bruises on her inner thighs from when he’d forced her legs open, and as the cherry on top, the bruising between her legs, not as easily visible from underneath her pubic hair, but still there; a memento of being violently groped by him. And of course, there were the bite marks on the side of her left breast, followed by a trail of them leading up to her collarbone and the side of her neck. Not just love bites, no; these were the kind that were meant to hurt, like he’d literally wanted to eat her alive.

_Fucking zombie._

_“_ _Sale clébard!”_ Alix’s voice came from downstairs, followed by the sound of Shepard’s claws clicking rapidly on the floor as the dog ran. Hunnigan was yanked back to reality and she covered herself up with the towel before getting out to see what justified the dog getting called a dirty mutt.

Shepard laid on the floor with what appeared to be a photo album between her paws, but instead of chewing on it, Shepard merely rested her head ontop of it.

“Give it,” Alix said sternly as she approached the dog. Shepard didn’t move, but when Alix reached for the album, the dog bit into it.

“Yes, very funny,” Alix sighed sarcastically and grabbed it, a playful growl emanating from Shepard’s chest as they tugged back and forth until Shepard lost her interest in the game upon seeing Hunnigan.

“Somebody has some excess energy. Yes, you do! Yes, you do!” she cooed to the dog and leaned down to vigorously scratch and pet Shepard who panted excitedly, her tail wagging from side to side.  
“Thankfully, no real damage done, I doubt Helena would’ve appreciated having her things chewed on,” Alix commented after inspecting the album.

“Where’d Shepard even get that?” Hunnigan frowned and humphed amusedly when Shepard reached to lick the underside of her chin.

“From one of Helena’s bags... which was open because Lucy was digging around it earlier,” Alix said, sounding a bit embarrassed. As much as she liked Helena and had quickly become to consider her family, at the same time, as far as Alix was concerned, Helena was still a guest in their house. Having her dog and her youngest daughter poking around Helena’s personal belongings was quite embarrassing.

“Why was she..?” Hunnigan frowned.

“You know what she’s like, she has no concept of boundaries and she doesn’t think any rules apply to her,” Alix sighed in exasperation before Hunnigan could even finish her sentence, “Like just last week, she walked in on Lance and I making love, and she asked, and I quote, ‘can I watch you finish or would that be weird?’, and I can’t tell if she was joking. As if we would’ve been able to finish anyway.”

“...I really didn’t need to know that.”  
“Oh, grow up, sex isn’t a privilege reserved only for young lovers like you and Helena,” Alix chuckled.

“Point taken,” Hunnigan gave up.  
“You look like you were headed for the shower. Go ahead and do that, and I’ll lock up Helena’s personal belongings from your curious sister and our thieving dog, and I’ll fix you something to eat. With lots of garlic,” Alix smiled.

“You could just prescribe me antibiotics.”  
“Which would be useless if your cold is caused by a virus rather than a bacteria, and if it’s from a bacteria, three cloves of garlic a day will do the same to help your cold. It’ll last a week either way, there’s no quick fix.”

“Yeah, but garlic messes up my digestive system, not to mention the fact that I offend everyone around me just by breathing,” Hunnigan mumbled as she turned to head back upstairs.  
“People shouldn’t be getting too close to you anyway or they’ll get sick too!” Alix called out after her.

* * *

“I am sorry, but I will have to recuse myself. Helena, you should too,” Olivia said in a cold tone when the last candidate entered the room to be interviewed. When they both promptly stood up to leave, Leon looked at them in confusion.

“What’s happening?”  
“Leon, meet Lucy Hunnigan. Also known as Ingrid Hunnigan’s younger sister,” Olivia explained.

“You’re kidding?” Leon chuckled, “You two don’t look anything alike.”  
“We’re both adopted,” Lucy informed him and he exhaled a quiet “oh” as she took a seat, still expecting to be interviewed.

“I’ll call my backup and Leon, I trust you can handle the questions a field agent would have, yes?” Olivia said, acting as if Lucy weren’t even in the room.  
“Yeah, sure, okay..?” Leon nodded.

“Great,” Olivia said and with that, she grabbed Helena’s wrist and pulled her out of the room with her.  
“Well... if I know Hunnibear, she won’t like this,” Olivia then muttered.

“Yeah, she won’t. But it’s not like she can stop Lucy,” Helena said.

“True, but honestly... and I realize this sounds a bit mean, but there is no way in hell Lucy will ever pass the psych eval, so there’s really nothing to worry about,” Olivia shrugged, but Helena got the sense that she was trying to convince herself rather than assure Helena.

“So, since we have the rest of the day off, wanna go grab something to eat?” she then asked.

Helena had actually planned on maybe taking a look at some engagement rings, and then just hastily head home because she felt she needed to be with Hunnigan right now, and she told as much to Olivia, but agreed to have an early dinner with her regardless.

“Okay, look... as for Hunnigan, don’t baby her. Don’t get all sickeningly protective. Do the opposite, act normal. Like, when it comes to sex...”  
“Liv, please...”

“Oh, you please! I mean it. Make a pass at her.”  
“Now? You’re joking!” Helena almost yelled and Olivia sighed deeply, rolling her eyes.

“No, not now, you idiot!” she scoffed and slapped the back of Helena’s head to emphasize her point as they walked side by side toward the exit to head out to grab something to eat at the diner nearby.  
“My point is, make a pass at her. Not necessarily now or tomorrow, but within the week or so. She’s more than likely to reject you, but do it anyway.”

“Why, what’s the point?” Helena quirked an eyebrow.

“Because if you start acting all scared to even touch her, she’ll think you don’t want her anymore because of what happened. Instead, act normal, initiate sex as if you normally would, if she rejects you, tell her it’s okay while making sure she understands your feelings for her haven’t changed.”

“Olivia...”

“Just..! Remember that she doesn’t need an avenging goddess. What she needs is to know that you love her. So, show that to her. Tell that to her. Constantly, every fucking day until she believes that what happened has not changed your perception of her and that as far as you’re concerned, she’s still the same woman she was a couple of days ago.”

“...were you..?” Helena began to ask before stopping herself when she realized how personal and private it was, and that it wasn’t something she should’ve just outright asked like that.

“Someone I loved couldn’t get over what happened to me and at the end of it all, he was behaving like I was spoiled. He wasn’t able to bring himself to touch me anymore because he was a good man who felt like he was violating me, perpetuating damage someone else had caused and no amount of trying to reason with him and explaining to him could help. So... we went our separate ways because it wasn’t fair for either one of us to continue.”

“Liv...”  
“Just love her and act normal.”

“I promise.”  
“Good,” Olivia exhaled and wiped her eyes before shaking herself a little.

“Now, I believe a little bird told me something about you proposing to Hunnigan with a Kinder egg?” she then quirked an eyebrow as they entered the diner and went to take a seat.

“I know, it’s tacky and stupid, but I _had to_ propose to her right there and then, and the Kinder eggs were the only thing conveniently handy at the time... and I may have been a little tipsy, but... she said yes, so that’s something, right?” Helena babbled awkwardly and Olivia laughed softly.

“It is, and I think that’s a more memorable way to propose to someone anyway than the typical method of hiding the ring in the dessert or something.”

“Yeah, even I think that hasn’t been original since the eighties,” Helena smirked and dug out her phone. She browsed to the website she’d been looking at earlier and handed her phone over to Olivia to show her the style of the ring she’d been thinking of buying.

“It’s very ‘Hunnigan’, it’s not too fancy or complicated, I think she’d like it that way. I just have one very important question: where’s the diamond?” Olivia quirked an eyebrow, offering an exaggerated squint to emphasize her point.

“I... it’s... I don’t have a lot of money, okay?!” Helena scoffed and yanked her phone back.

“If I had the money I’d have the ring custom-made. I found this place that lets you do that, and I wanted the band to be a simple platinum one, and hers would have diamonds and saphires embedded into it, you know, side-by-side, around the ring. And mine would be the same, except with rubies. Because she likes blue, I like red,” she then explained.

“Now that you mention it, she really is the embodiment of blue; she’s honest and soulful and has this certain aura of regality. And you are the embodiment of red, bold and passionate and fiery and all heart,” Olivia agreed.

“That’s what I thought... except with less words and not as eloquently as you did,” Helena chuckled and then shook her head, “Alas, I can’t afford it. One ring alone would cost over two thousand bucks. I’m lucky if I have two hundred.”

The waiter came over and they placed their orders, and once he’d left, Olivia turned her attention to Helena.

“I’ll loan you the money.”  
“No. I can’t accept that.”

“And I can’t accept that you can’t propose to her with a proper ring just because you’re poor.”  
“I’m not poor, I’m comfortable, I just don’t have an excess four grand to throw around. And by the way, how the hell do you and everyone else manage to save up like that?” Helena then frowned and Olivia laughed gently.

“Well, what would I spend it on? I mean, I like to have nice things, but by now, I’ve already got most of the nice things I’ve ever wanted. What do you waste your money on then?” she quirked an eyebrow and Helena explained to her what her problem was. She couldn’t save because she had nothing left to save from. Not for a few more years anyway.

“And the last thing I need is to add a personal loan from you to that,” Helena then said and Olivia exhaled deeply.  
“It would be a loan, but it would kind of be an investment. I’m very invested in your relationship with Hunnigan, it’s like I’m watching my favorite show featuring my favorite characters.”

“So, our life is a soap opera to you?” Helena scoffed amusedly.  
“Well, it sounds bad when you put it like that! But yes. And, you two kind of... give me something to believe in. You’re the perfect couple I thought didn’t even exist. Since you obviously do exist, I still have hope that maybe it’ll happen to me too someday,” Olivia shrugged then and Helena felt herself blush a little at the odd compliment.

“You just need to find your own infuriating hothead,” she said.  
“A what?” Olivia guffawed.

“An infuriating hothead. That’s what Hunnigan called me when the news about me shooting Deborah’s abusive ex reached her. My transfer to the D.S.O. was cancelled and I was sent off to the Secret Service, and Hunnigan... who had worked so hard to get me over to the D.S.O., called me personally to tell me that I am an infuriating hothead,” Helena smiled at the memory.

At the time, she’d been mortified and sorry about it all, acknowledging that she’d just wasted a lot of Hunnigan’s time and efforts by behaving the way she had. Nowadays she thought back on it rather fondly.

“That is so... cute!” Olivia sighed.  
“It wasn’t at the time. But... my point is, you never know who it is. Could be that super annoying idiot you can’t stand right now who turns out to be the love of your life.”

“Naw, you’re already spoken for,” Olivia vexed and Helena laughed.

 

***


	31. Victims

“Don’t kiss me, you’ll get sick too,” Hunnigan said weakly when Helena got in bed with her and leaned closer.

“As if that would be enough to keep me from kissing you,” she said and closed the gap between them, placing her lips on Hunnigan’s gently.  
“You’re being terribly irresponsible,” Hunnigan mumbled into the kiss.

“I know, I’m a bad girl,” Helena responded and deepened the kiss, wrapping her arm around Hunnigan’s warm body and pressing herself to her tightly. She pulled away when there was a knock on the door and Hunnigan chuckled at her reaction; Helena was behaving like she’d snuck into Hunnigan’s room in the middle of the night and was scared of getting caught by her parents.

“I’m sorry to interrupt you ladies, but there’s someone here to see you, Ingrid,” Alix said from the door, and the serious look on her face made it clear it couldn’t be good. Sighing, Hunnigan got out of bed and Helena was about to follow her when Alix shook her head a little, silently letting her know she shouldn’t. Helena frowned and Alix mouthed an apology before heading downstairs as well.

“Detective Truly,” Hunnigan said in surprise when she walked into the Alix’s study and was greeted by the detective, a blue-eyed brunette in her early forties who was surrounded by an aura of compassion and determination.

“I’m so sorry to disturb you at this hour, but it’s really important,” Truly said.  
“Okay? What’s going on?” Hunnigan asked slowly, looking back and forth between her mother and the detective who both obviously knew something she didn’t.

“I entered Michael’s DNA into CODIS and we got a hit on an open rape-homicide here. On a hunch, I forwarded this information to a colleague in Canada and he said the sample matches seventeen unsolved cases in Canada,” Alix began to explain and Hunnigan frowned, opened her mouth to speak, but realized she couldn’t say anything. She had too many thoughts and questions colliding with each other as she tried to process what she’d just been told.

“Seven... seventeen?” was all she managed.

“Seventeen that we know of since April 2003,” detective Truly said and Hunnigan felt her stomach lurch and swallowed hard against the sickening feeling that was climbing up her throat. April 2003 was when she’d cut all ties to him, which could only mean her doing so had triggered this behavior in him.

_Seventeen women are dead because of... No, it’s not my fault,_ she interrupted her own thought. It was Michael’s fault.

“So, what do you need me for?” she asked then and Truly sighed a little.  
“I know it’s a lot to ask, especially right now, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t at least try.”

“Try what?”  
“The Jane Doe. Michael says he knows who she is, but he will only tell you.”

“You want me to talk to him? No thanks,” Hunnigan scoffed.

“We’re extraditioning him to Canada, because... seventeen rape-homicides with conclusive DNA evidence trumps one assault and one rape-homicide in the U.S.,” Truly muttered, obviously annoyed at having to hand over the case and the suspect over to others, “I don’t have a lot of time here, and I think the Jane Doe deserves closure. Don’t you?”

“You’re right,” Hunnigan said quietly and nodded, “You’re also a manipulative bitch,” she then added and Truly chuckled ruefully.

“Are you sure you want to see him?” Alix asked.  
“I’m fine.”

Of course she didn't want to see him, and she really wasn’t as fine as she liked to pretend. When she took a few seconds to process what could’ve happened if just a few details of that day had been ever so slightly different, she was far from fine. If Olivia hadn’t called her, if Helena hadn’t been there, if the timing of the whole scene were different by just a few minutes, the end result would’ve been rather different.

“What did he do to his victims?” she then asked, not really wanting to know, but also feeling like she had to know, that she should know.

“I’m not sure if...” Alix trailed off, but didn’t bother arguing with her daughter, she knew her better than that. Instead, she slipped into clinical mode, the one she’d used hundreds of times when speaking for the dead in front of a jury or a grieving family. She hoped she’d never get too used to doing it though.

“The bruising around the victims’ necks indicate manual strangulation. Their breasts and genitals were also mutilated... by biting... ante-mortem.”  
“...he ate them while they were still alive?” Hunnigan asked, beginning to feel a little sick.

He _had_ always enjoyed biting her, but she’d never thought anything of it, she’d just thought he was trying to be cute but didn’t know his strength which was why he’d almost always ended up bruising her. It was sickening to realize he’d always done it on purpose and would’ve wanted to do worse.

“No, all the tissue was accounted for, none was actually eaten as far as I can determine, but he chewed—”

“All right, enough, I’m sorry I asked, I get the picture,” Hunnigan interrupted and Alix nodded, admittedly kind of relieved at not having to explain further, especially when she had to consider it had almost happened to her daughter.

“Let me just get changed and we’ll go see him.”  
“Thank you. I’ll make a couple of calls, I’ll wait for you in the car,” detective Truly said and began to head outside as Hunnigan went upstairs.

Helena sat on the edge of the bed, a laptop over her thighs as she read back the files of the most promising candidates she’d been interviewing today. She was shocked and a little amazed to see that Lucy’s file was there too.

_Leon’s got a lot of explaining to do,_ Helena thought and closed the laptop, deciding this could wait. She turned her attention to Hunnigan, who was getting out of her comfortable outfit and putting on a suit.

“What’s going on?” Helena frowned.  
“I, uh, I have an errand I have to run.”

“Must be important.”  
“It is. Very much so. I’ll explain it later, I promise, but for now...” she sighed, finished buttoning up her shirt and turned to face Helena.

“It’s okay. You can tell me later if you want to,” Helena assured with a small smile.  
“Thank you,” Hunnigan whispered and hugged Helena tightly for a long moment before slowly letting go and exiting the room.

* * *

Hunnigan hated how genuinely happy Michael was to see her when she entered the room. She hated knowing that in a sense, he’d won a little something just now, he got what he wanted, she was here because he’d asked for her.

“Tell me her name,” Hunnigan said. She remained standing near the door, her arms crossed over her abdomen.  
“What, not even a hello? That’s cold, Ingrid.”

“Her name, or I’ll walk out that door right now.”  
“I don’t think you have it in you to leave.”

“That’s where you’re wrong because as far as I’m concerned, I did everything I could just by turning up, and if you’re not going to talk, I might as well leave, and I can do that with a clear conscience,” Hunnigan said and turned to face the door, raising her hand to knock on it to let the guard know she was ready to go. Michael finally spoke a name and Hunnigan finished her gesture to get the guard’s attention.

“We’re done here,” Hunnigan told the guard then and he opened the door for her.

“You can leave, but you'll never forget me and I have another thing I want you to remember; you made me do it,” Michael said and Hunnigan stopped mid-step.

“I’ll forget you, but I do admit that I will spend the rest of my life regretting every single time I talked you out of suicide. Still, it’s better than what you have ever had. You will spend the rest of your miserable life knowing that nobody on this Earth ever wanted you, not even your own mother who dumped you onto your grandparents.”

“You wanted me. You loved me.”

Hunnigan would’ve wanted to smack that smug grin off his face, but managed to control herself. Barely.

“You know what they say, you never forget your first, so you’ll remember me,” Michael smiled and leaned back in his chair, the chains around his wrists and ankles rattling a little as he moved.  
“And I’ll remember you. Fondly. Very, very fondly.”

“I’m leaving.”  
“Give my regards to your girlfriend. Too bad for her she doesn’t have a cock, she’s missing out on a wonderful experience; you sucked my dick better than anyone else ever did.”

Hunnigan turned on her heel and took a step closer to him, unsure what she was going to do until she’d already done it. Instead of recoiling at being spat in the face, Michael wiped the saliva from his cheek and followed it with an act that was somehow oddly vulgar; he stuck his spit-covered fingers into his mouth and sucked on them with abandon.

“Are you okay?” Truly asked once Hunnigan was out of the room, the door firmly closed behind her.  
“I’m gonna throw up.”

* * *

“What’s got you looking so serious?” Lance inquired from Helena, who sat at the kitchen table, frowning at whatever she was looking at on her laptop.

“I’m thinking about selling my car, but I’m not sure how much I could realistically get for it and looking at these ads people have posted online, the gap is from a few thousand to as much as fifty thousand,” Helena sighed. Granted, the most expensive ones were the ones that still had all the original parts and very little mileage, she knew her car didn’t fall into that category.

“That car is a classic, you can’t sell it,” Lance said, sounding genuinely shocked at the mere suggestion.  
“I believe I can,” Helena quirked an eyebrow, “It’s just a car,” she added with a shrug.

“A -67 Impala is never ‘just a car’, and you know it,” he shook his head, and he was right.

It wasn’t as much about the car itself as it was about the fact that it was dad’s car. He’d had it since he’d been old enough to drive and Helena had never imagined she’d find herself even considering selling it. But it was for a good cause.

“Be that as it may, I do need the money,” Helena muttered. Lance pursed his lips as he thought about it for a while and shrugged then.  
“Well, I do know a guy who might be interested.”

“Seriously?”  
“It’s kind of a hobby of his. I can ask him to come around and take a look if you’re sure you wanna sell it?”

“I’d appreciate that. Thanks.”  
“All right, I’ll call him tomorrow. You hungry?” he then changed the subject.

“Well, now that you mentioned it, kind of,” she admitted.  
“You eat meat?”

“Except on Fridays,” Helena chuckled and accepted a plate of lasagna from him after he’d heated it up for her.

They’d just finished their “almost midnight snack” when the sound of an approaching car accompanied by Shepard’s barking caught their attention. It was undoubtedly Hunnigan coming back from running whatever that errand she’d mentioned earlier was. The car pulled away and Shepard stopped barking, but Hunnigan didn’t enter the house.

Helena stepped outside and paused by the door, unsure if Hunnigan wanted her here now. She sat on the steps leading to the house, Shepard sat next to her, looking a bit confused and unsure herself about how to help her human. Hunnigan rested her head against Shepard’s neck and slowly patted the dog’s back as she cried. Shepard let out tiny grunts and snuffles as she nuzzled Hunnigan’s face and Hunnigan chuckled a little through tears.

“Good girl,” she sniffled, petting the dog for a moment and then wiped her eyes before sitting up straight.  
“...are you—?” Helena began what she knew was a stupid question but couldn’t think of anything else to say either.

“No, I’m really not,” Hunnigan sighed deeply.  
“Do you want me to leave you alone?”

“...I wouldn’t mind a moment alone, now that you mentioned it,” Hunnigan nodded without turning to look at Helena.

“Sure, I’ll be upstairs,” Helena said quietly and went back into the house. She hadn’t expected Hunnigan to actually ask her to leave. She understood the need for solitude, especially when talking about Hunnigan, she needed her alone-time more than anyone Helena had ever known, but she did feel a bit hurt.

_I’m being ridiculous,_ Helena thought to herself then. After everything that had happened, was it any wonder Hunnigan needed a moment to herself? Normally she could’ve just gone home and stayed in alone for a day if she’d wanted to, but that wasn’t an option now. Her home had stopped being her home the moment Michael had invaded the space, and now with her family and Helena constantly nearby, Hunnigan was probably feeling overwhelmed by the amount of socializing she was forced to do now.

_Maybe I could arrange an “alone-day” for her,_ Helena mused as she contemplated on how to politely ask everyone to spend the day anywhere but at home so that Hunnigan would have a chance to spend quality time alone.

Hunnigan entered the room shortly after and wordlessly began to peel off her suit, letting the pieces of clothing fall to the floor and leaving them there, too tired to bother putting them away. She got in bed and put her arm around Helena’s midsection and nuzzled into her neck, pressing herself against Helena tightly.

_created by[Oceanmyhope](https://oceanmyhope.tumblr.com/), view in full size [here](https://i.imgur.com/3SEZ21F.jpg)._

* * *

 

“I’m sorry, I’m not trying to shut you out, I’m just so exhausted by all this that I... I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t be, I understand, and like I said, you can tell me later if you want to talk about it,” Helena assured quietly and kissed Hunnigan’s forehead softly.

“Do you think our lives will always be like this? Constantly getting hurt or almost killed or kidnapped or... what have you,” Hunnigan muttered.  
“Hopefully not, but we do have crazy lives, so it could really go either way.”

“Then what’s the point?” Hunnigan exhaled tiredly and Helena frowned.  
“Hey...” she whispered and cupped Hunnigan’s cheek with her hand, urging her to look up.

“Maybe there never was a point. Maybe there’s not supposed to be one. I don’t know, but that doesn’t mean we should give up.”  
“I’m not giving up, I’m just... I’m done. I’m so fucking done with all of this, I just want... a normal life, at least for a while,” Hunnigan said.

“We’ll get there. I promise,” Helena said and Hunnigan chuckled a little bit.  
“You’re always so confident it’s hard to not believe you.”

“You should believe me, most of the time things have worked out for me... sometimes the results did leave a lot to be desired, but the alternative outcomes were always worse, so...”  
“You know when it comes to matters of faith, I’m not the most open-minded person. But I do have faith in you, and for reasons beyond my comprehension, I really _do_ believe you when you say it’s going to be okay. I don’t know why or how, but I believe you.”

“Well, now I just hope I’ll live up to that,” Helena chuckled quietly.  
“You always have before. I guess what I’m trying to say is that... you’ve given me the same sense of safety I assume you feel in your belief that God is watching over you.”

“I’m no God.”  
“No, and I don’t want you to be either, I just want you to watch over me so that I can feel safe, and that’s what you’ve always done, long before I even realized it would be something I’d want and need in my life,” Hunnigan said. They were quiet for a long moment before Hunnigan inhaled and exhaled deeply and spoke again. She explained to Helena where she’d gone just now and told her about what he’d done to so many other women.

She showed Helena the full extent of her bruises and told her the details (which she’d copied from Truly’s notes because the detective had put it better than Hunnigan herself knew how to; in her notes she’d simply stated “groped and assaulted, but not penetrated” which was tidy, clinical way of saying exactly how it had gone) of what had happened.

Helena was angry, but she knew better than to waste time exploding in red hot fury. Hunnigan didn’t need her to go on a homicidal rampage for her, she needed her to shut up and listen. Helena admitted she wouldn’t have necessarily realized to do just that had Olivia not specifically told her to behave herself.

_I’ll have to remember to thank her,_ Helena thought and tightened her hold on Hunnigan as she listened to her go on about what had happened.

Michael hadn’t told her or anyone why he’d decided to come after Hunnigan now after all this time, but she figured it was probably because they’d met in person for the first time since she’d cut ties to him. Olivia had thankfully been wrong about Michael having stalked Hunnigan over all these years, running into him at the store really had been a coincidence. An unfortunate one for Hunnigan since it was what had triggered Michael’s desire to chase after her, she was the one who’d gotten away after all.

“That is horrible, but in the end, him following you here was a good thing then.”  
“How can you say that?” Hunnigan scoffed.

“Think about it. If he hadn’t followed you, he probably would’ve never gotten caught and God only knows how many more women he would’ve killed.”  
“Oh... well, that is true...”

“So... don’t blame yourself.”  
“I’m not. Never was,” Hunnigan said and they both knew the latter statement was a lie. She didn’t even know why she’d said it.

“The important thing is that you’re okay and that he’s gone, he’s never getting out of prison,” Helena said, offering a rueful tiny smile.  
“You’re right. It’s over. It’s... it’s done, it’s over,” Hunnigan repeated as if trying to convince herself of it.

“Yes, it is. And we will focus on living our lives and being happy together and forget about him. He doesn’t deserve to be remembered. And I’ll be damned before I let him and his actions ruin a minute of my day from now on,” Helena said sternly and Hunnigan nodded.

“As far as I’m concerned, he’s dead.”

Little did she know that by that time the day after, he would actually be dead. Someone had started a rumor that the people he’d raped and murdered had been children. Hunnigan didn’t know who had put it out there or why. Could’ve been a misunderstanding. Whatever the reason, the rumor had quickly led to Michael getting assaulted while in custody. Even men the society considered scum had a certain type of a person they could call scum, namely child molesters. As a cherry on top, someone had sodomized him with a broom handle, the act rupturing something inside him and causing him to bleed out internally.

When detective Truly called to let Hunnigan know about that, Hunnigan kind of would’ve wanted to say she was glad, but she wasn’t. She’d never been one to act cruel or take joy in the suffering of others, the way she’d spoken to Michael earlier and how she’d behaved around him had been something she’d never imagined she’d find herself doing, not even when interacting with someone she found despicable.

If she hated him now and felt genuinely happy he’d been killed in a horrifying way, that would just be like letting him win. Yes, he’d deserved that kind of a death after everything he’d done to so many women, but rejoicing about his death would mean he’d had the power to change Hunnigan, take a piece of her heart and blacken it. He didn’t have that over her. She didn’t feel happy he’d died. She felt sad for all the lives he’d taken, a little guilty even, and she still kind of pitied him, but she took no pleasure in hearing about his death.

The one thing that did make her happy about this all was realizing that even after everything, she still didn’t hate him. And knowing that, she knew she’d be able to move on and not waste time hating and regretting.

_You’re alive. Live._


	32. Burnt coffee

Hunnigan taped up a carboard box and carried it over to the foyer. She’d just turned to head back into the kitchen when the doorbell rang.

“Hi, Olivia,” she greeted the woman behind the door and let her in.  
“Hey. You’re moving?” she frowned.

“Yeah. Can’t stay here, that scum was in my bed. Burning the mattress won’t be enough,” Hunnigan said, offering a lopsided smile and went back to gather and pack the rest of the kitchenware.  
“Have you found a new place yet?” Olivia inquired, leaning into the counter.

“No, so we’re moving our stuff into storage and stay at my parents’ place until we find something. Gotta admit, I never imagined I’d find myself moving back home one day,” Hunnigan sighed. She knew her parents didn’t mind, but the problem for her was that there was very little privacy when staying there. And very little peace and quiet.

“I actually know a realtor... well, kind of know him, he’s my ex’s brother, I’ll ask him if he’s got any nice places stashed away,” Olivia said.  
“I appreciate that, thank you. Was there something you wanted or did you just pop in for a chat? I could make some coffee, I think I have a few mugs I haven’t packed yet.”

“No need, I actually came here to talk about Lucy.”  
“Lucy? What’s she done now?” Hunnigan exhaled deeply.

“Nothing exactly, but she... I’m guessing no one’s told you.”  
“Told me what?” Hunnigan narrowed her eyes.

“When we were interviewing agents and candidates for the D.S.O. academy, Lucy turned up. And somehow... she made the cut. She got accepted into the academy,” Olivia said slowly.

Basically there was nothing surprising about her making it into the academy, the only requirement was to have a high school-level education or a G.E.D., the proper assessment of the applicants was done during the interviews rather than just by looking at their papers. The surprising thing was the fact that Lucy had passed the psychiatric evaluation.

“My dearest doctor Olivia Brooks MD, special agent and forensic psychiatrist from the Federal Bureau of Investigation. The thing about psychopaths is that they’ve learned to mimic normal human behavior well enough to fool everyone into thinking they are normal, that’s why you find us doing normal every day things with other normal people and you would never know that at the end of the day, we go out and go do psycho-things,” Lucy’s voice came from the stairs and Olivia grunted internally. She turned to face the redhead and crossed her arms over her abdomen.

“Firstly, if you’re going to memorize the info on my business card, at least make sure the card you’re reading is a current one. Secondly, I don’t think you’re a psychopath. You’re something else, probably the first of your kind. Regardless, you and I both know you shouldn’t have passed that psych eval.”

“Yeah, but I did, so... either the agency needs to hire better shrinks or you need to accept that maybe you were wrong about me. Or maybe... you need to understand that in a world that is fucked up and cruel and uncaring, you will need people who are equally fucked up, cruel and uncaring to protect you from the world. Good luck relying on normal people to figure it out, they’ve never had to overcome anything in their life, they don’t know how to deal with problems. Just be thankful I’m on your side,” Lucy said and Olivia sighed. She hated admitting it, but the young woman was actually making sense.

“Lucy... why didn’t you tell me?” Hunnigan finally interjected.

It hurt knowing she’d gone behind her back. Granted, Hunnigan would’ve told Lucy she was against it, she probably would’ve tried talking her out of it if she’d known, but even then, she’d assumed Lucy would come talk to her about it.

“I meant to tell you, but then things happened and you weren’t feeling well and I knew that you would probably get upset over this, and I didn’t want that,” Lucy explained. Hunnigan pushed her glasses to her forehead and ran her hand over her face, exhaling deeply.

“Are you mad?” Lucy asked tentatively then.

“No... No, I’m not. It’s your choice and if the team evaluating you thought you’d make a good agent, who am I to disagree? Besides, you getting your education at the D.S.O. academy saves me and our parents a ton of money since we won’t have to pay for your college,” Hunnigan smirked.

“You’re kidding,” Lucy and Olivia said in unison and Hunnigan raised her eyebrows.

“No, I’ve recently decided that I want to focus on living my own life for once and spend a little less time worrying about the shenanigans you get up to. You don’t need me to coddle you anyway,” she told Lucy.

“Well, I mean, I don’t mind being coddled just a little bit,” the younger sister grinned.

“In the meantime, make yourself useful and take that box to the car,” Hunnigan said then, nodding her head toward the item in question.  
"Yes, ma'am!" Lucy saluted dutifully and did as she was told.

“Are you sure about this?” Olivia asked then after Lucy had exited the apartment and Hunnigan shook her head.  
“Of course I’m not. But I’m not gonna stop her. If she makes it, good for her. If she crashes and burns, then I’ll get to say ‘I told you so’. Either way, I think she’s better off trying at least.”

“Maybe... and who knows, maybe she’ll turn out to be very good at it. She certainly doesn’t lack the confidence,” Olivia said, pursing her lips a little as she thought about it.

“Yeah, and the fact is... we need her and every other candidate that even passed the first interviews, since Leon’s retirement from field duty, our unit is down to nine field agents. _Nine_ for the entire country... not to mention possible deployements abroad.”

“Yeah, it’s not like there were a lot of people who actually did pass any of the exams... but I’m still gonna keep a close eye on her.”  
“I wouldn’t have it any other way," Hunnigan chuckled.

* * *

It was nine A.M. and Leon knew Hunnigan had been at the office from seven A.M. at least, probably even earlier. Still, her breakfast -yogurt with blueberries and some kinds of nuts or seeds in it, as far as Leon could tell-  sat on the corner of her desk, only half of it eaten. He couldn’t recall ever witnessing her have the time to finish her breakfast before noon, at which point she just began referring to it as lunch.

Next to the bowl of yogurt was half a cup of coffee in a plain white mug, the imprint of her lips on the edge left behind in a neutral color of lipstick. Leon felt the side of the mug. Cold. Yet another remnant of her unfinished breakfast.

There was nothing personal on her desk or in her work area. Other people had photos of their families (or pets), coffee mugs they’d brought from home, maybe the odd motivational poster here and there. Not Hunnigan. Leon wasn’t surprised by that, he knew Hunnigan was a very private person and the idea of having a photo of Helena at her desk for example probably made her uncomfortable for various reasons. When comparing her desk to Olivia's that was a mess of papers, folders, photos, notes and random little knick-knacks, Hunnigan's desk looked practically sterile.

Leon went to make some coffee while he waited for her to come back from the “cave” which was really where she spent most of her time. After having waited for almost an hour, he gave up and went looking for her.

As he’d expected, he found her in the dimly lit room, sitting in front of an entire wall full of monitors that displayed several different kinds of live feeds from all over the world. She was typing something with her left hand while simultaneously writing notes with her right one. He knew women liked to brag about being able to do more than one thing at a time, but there was just something unnatural about being ambidextrous and capable of focusing on such different tasks simultaneously that it made Leon wonder if Hunnigan was even human.

“Can I help you?” she asked without even turning to look up from her notes, her skill of instinctively knowing whenever someone was nearby only perpetuating Leon’s belief that maybe Hunnigan was a demigod of some sort.  
“I’m here to help you by reminding you that you need a break,” Leon smiled and to his surprise, Hunnigan stopped what she was doing and swiveled around in her chair, facing him.

“Well... you’re not wrong,” she admitted after glancing at her wrist watch and stretched her neck for a moment before standing up. Her height still somehow managed to take Leon by surprise. It wasn’t that he wasn’t aware of it by now, but he still rarely got to see more of her than what was above her shoulders.

“So, come on then. Let’s go have some coffee and just hang out for a while,” he said and she nodded, following him back upstairs and into the office.

She grabbed her mug from her desk and rinsed it before refilling it with the dark liquid and proceeded to take a sip while Leon added a splash of milk into his mug.

“Mmph!” Hunnigan made a noise after taking a sip and shook her head while making a disgusted face.  
“What?” Leon frowned.

“It’s burnt,” she said and poured the bitter coffee into the sink.  
“Well, I brewed it like an hour ago,” Leon defended himself.

“Why didn’t you put it in a thermos?” she questioned.  
“...I didn’t realize that was an option,” he admitted as she began to brew a fresh pot.

“I’m amazed you haven’t yet scolded me for being at the office despite this damn cold,” Hunnigan then said and Leon laughed softly.  
“I know better than to even bother trying to scold you because you are incorrigible.”

“Thank you. It’s bad enough I had to literally sneak out of the house like some teenager.”  
“Your mother would’ve dragged you back to the house by the ear?”

“And then some,” Hunnigan said seriously, waited for a moment for the coffee to finish dripping and then poured herself a mug. She inhaled the beverage’s scent and took a slow sip, visibly enjoying her drink.  
“I’m also not allowed to drink coffee at home,” she explained her reaction when she noticed the curious look Leon was giving her.

“What, seriously?” Leon quirked an eyebrow and Hunnigan nodded.  
“I have a heart condition and too much caffeine can make it worse, and mom’s a doctor, so... yeah, I don’t get to do anything fun,” she smirked.

“Must be tough having a parent who cares about your health,” Leon winked, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.  
“Oh, you have no idea. Healthy meals, access to top notch medical care whenever, getting sent to good schools, my life was so horrible,” Hunnigan played along and they laughed.

“Listen. Claire, Liv and Sherry were thinking about having a girls’ night out, and Liv is probably talking Helena into babysitting Seeley right about...” Leon then began and glanced at his watch, “...now.”  
“...okay?”

“So, that leaves us a chance to hang out and catch up properly.”  
“Really?” Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow, “We’ve known each other for a decade and I don’t recall you ever asking me to hang out with you. Unless you were being a terrible flirt, but that doesn’t count.”

“Yeah, well, I feel like we’ve gotten closer recently and you’re one of the few friends I have and who actually know me.”  
“Leon, what is this really about?” Hunnigan sighed, both of them knowing he was being rather transparent. Leon sipped his coffee slowly and shrugged one shoulder.

“Okay, look... I just wanted to check in on you, see how you were really doing. I’m sure Olivia’s offered to be there if you need to talk, and maybe she’d even be better at listening than I am, but then again... it’s Liv, so she’d probably try to help you even if you don’t want it. And I imagine that talking to Helena about what happened can’t be much fun either, so... I’m just saying, if you feel like talking, maybe I can offer a... different kind of an ear. And if you don’t want to talk about that, we can just watch old movies and hang out. That’s all,” Leon explained himself and Hunnigan exhaled deeply.

“You know what? Let’s do it. I need to get out of the house before I go mad anyway and since the arrangements have apparently already been made, I can’t abandon you,” she said.  
“Yes, exactly!” he nodded his head eagerly, “I’ll pick you up after work?”

“That sounds like a plan. And Leon... Thank you,” she smiled.

***


	33. Science fiction

“I’ll give you ten,” Lance’s friend said after having spent several minutes inspecting Helena’s car and its condition.  
“It’s worth twice as much and I was asking only fifteen,” Helena argued.

“Yeah, yeah, there’s no rust, the interior’s been kept well, it’s got sentimental value which means nothing to me and yadda-yadda-yadda, but the mileage alone brings the price way down, if you weren’t one of Lance’s kids, I wouldn’t even offer you eight grand for it. Take it or leave it,” he shook his head. Helena didn’t bother correcting his assumption about her identity.

“It’s not like I have a lot of other choices, do I?” Helena sighed and smoothed out the car title certificate over the Impala’s hood and signed it before handing it over to the new owner.  
“Well, not anymore, no,” he said, accepted the paper and in return handed her a thick envelope after adding a handful of bills to it. Helena smothered a chuckle; she hadn’t expected him to bring cash.

“Feel free to count it, it’s all there,” he said.  
“No need, I’ll just tell dad to come kick your ass if you tried cheating me,” Helena smirked. With that, the man instructed his driver to take over the wheel of the Impala while he got into his own car and began leaving.

Helena had never expected to feel this much heartache over a car, but as she watched it being driven away by a stranger, she wanted to cry. A part of her felt like she was giving up the last remnants of her family, her life before everything had gone to hell last June when Simmons had orchestrated Deborah’s kidnapping and manipulated Helena into committing treason.

 _It’s just a car,_ she shook herself internally. _And there’s another,_ she then thought when she was the headlights turn toward the driveway. It was Claire’s SUV, Helena recognized the license plate. It was kind of easy, it read “STA-RS”.

“Did someone just steal your car?” Olivia asked as she got out of the SUV.  
“Hah, no, I sold it.”

“Oh, come on! You’d rather sell your car than accept a loan from me? I’m hurt.”  
“What are you guys talking about?” Claire frowned as she leaned in to the backseat to undo Seeley’s seatbelts and picked up the baby from his seat.

“Helena’s poor but she wants to buy Hunnigan a decent ring.”  
“I’m not..! Augh, whatever, what she said,” Helena gave up, shaking her head.

“Well, lucky Hunnigan, some of us are still waiting,” Claire smirked.  
“Maybe Leon’s saving up too,” Helena offered and Claire chuckled.

“I suppose anything’s possible,” she shrugged one shoulder as they all headed into the house. Helena felt a little awkward entering without knocking despite Alix and Lance having made it perfectly clear she was to consider this her home. It didn’t even matter that no one else was home at the time.

“He has eaten just before we left and he’s got a fresh diaper, so you should be okay for a while,” Claire said and handed Helena the bag full of all the things necessary for Seeley’s sleepover.  
“Got it.”

“You have my number and Leon’s home you need anything,” she continued, reaching to hand over the child into Helena’s arms.  
“We’ll be fine,” Helena assured and as if to confirm this, Seeley let out a high-pitched giggle.

“All right then. See you tomorrow, lil’ dude,” Claire cooed at her son and he laughed heartily, reaching to pat her cheeks as she leaned in to kiss him goodnight.

“Huuu,” Seeley breathed, turning around to look at Helena after his mother and Olivia had exited the house.  
“Ayep, it’s just you and I for now, mister Seeley. What kind of shenanigans could we get up to?” Helena grinned at him.

“Oh, and of course, there’s Shepard, silly me, I forgot,” she then added when the dog walked into the room, her tail swaying back and forth as she curiously reached her muzzle upward to sniff at the tiny human she’d never met before. Helena carefully watched both of their reactions to gauge whether they should be properly introduced or not.

Seeley stared at the animal curiously and Shepard gracefully sat down, letting out a tiny mewl.

“Eh!” the boy grunted and reached his hand out and Shepard promptly stuck her nose into it before giving it a lick, eliciting a shriek of joy from the baby.  
“I think we all are gonna get along just fine,” Helena chuckled and headed into the living room, shouldering the diaper bag as she went.

Seeley was a relatively easy baby to look after, at least based on the couple of times Helena had babysat for Leon and Claire. He rarely fussed unless there was something he really needed, and when he was content, he simply liked to sit back and relax it seemed.

Helena sat cross-legged on the chouch and decided to binge-watch _American Dad!_ like she’d done the last time she’d babysat Seeley. He seemed to enjoy the show as much as Helena did, but probably for different reasons. She highly doubted (and sincerely hoped) he wasn’t watching it for the plot as it wasn’t exactly suitable for children. Just to be on the safe side, Helena turned off the sound and turned on the subtitles; the last thing she wanted was Seeley’s first words ending up being something from the theme tune just because she’d exposed him to it.

“Oh, my God!”

Helena almost jumped out of her skin when she heard Alix’s voice exclaim softly from the side of the room.

“Who’s this?” Alix queried happily and went to take a seat on the couch.  
“This is Seeley, he’s my friend’s son and I agreed to babysit. I hope it’s okay?”

“Are you kidding? I’ll be fighting with you over who gets to change the diaper!” Alix said and Helena laughed heartily, and Seeley did too, undoubtedly just because he felt like he should after picking up on the happy energy in the room.

“No fighting necessary, you’re more than welcome to do it if you want,” Helena assured sincerely.  
“I really wouldn’t mind, it’s been a long time since I had a chance to do it the last time. Can I hold him?”

“Sure, I don’t think he’ll mind,” Helena chuckled and Alix picked him up. She’d been right, Seeley seemed just excited to meet a new person, reaching to feel Alix’s face with his hands and letting out tiny coos at her. Alix nuzzled the top of his head and sighed.

“Ah, it feels like it’s been forever since I’ve smelled a baby’s hair. Okay, that sounded a bit weird...”  
“It’s okay, I get it, babies have that... baby scent. I mean, when they’re not smelling of puke and dirty diapers,” Helena laughed gently and Alix nodded.

“I haven’t had a chance to hold a baby since Nina had her kids, and even the youngest is already ten years old, and I don’t get to see them very often,” Alix then shared.  
“I think it’s silly she’s still holding a grudge over what happened... I mean, it was an accident, it’s not like Ingrid intentionally drove off a cliff,” Helena muttered and Alix offered a rueful smile.

“That’s not the problem. Well, not all of it,” she shook her head and shrugged a little to adjust Seeley into a more comfortable position in her lap.  
“Ingrid and Liam were very close. It was platonic, but they weren’t shy about being affectionate toward each other, so there was some sibling rivalry.”

“Between Nina and Ingrid,” Helena stated and Alix shook her head.  
“No, you’ve got it backwards; between Liam and Nina.”

“I don’t understand, Lance said Nina was upset because she worried her brother liked Ingrid over her,” Helena frowned and Alix laughed a little.  
“He would say that, he’s not as observant as he likes to think he is. Nina was jealous of Ingrid, not of Liam.”

“...again, I don’t understand,” Helena trailed off, her frown deepening.  
“She was in love with Ingrid,” Alix elaborated and Helena felt her jaw drop a little.

“And over time, when someone you love only seems interested in someone else’s company, you’re bound to grow bitter. Liam’s death was the last straw, but the relationship between Ingrid and Nina had begun falling apart long before that. Nina would intentionally antagonize Ingrid every chance she got.”

“Why?”  
“To get her attention, why else? And Ingrid, being as oblivious as she can be when it comes to the matters of the heart, never even realized what happened or why.”

“And I take it she still doesn’t know?” Helena quirked an eyebrow and Alix shrugged one shoulder.  
“I honestly don’t think she does. Not that it matters now, they wouldn’t just talk it out even if Ingrid knew and even if Nina wouldn’t just deny it.”

“That’s a... shame,” Helena muttered somewhat awkwardly and Alix chuckled.  
“I guess you didn’t see that coming, but don’t worry, seems to me that I’m the only one around here who ever notices things like that anyway.”

“So, any meaningful observations about Ingrid and I?” Helena couldn’t resist asking and Alix smiled.

“She’s always touching your arms, so I’d advice you to roll your sleeves up whenever you can,” she began and Helena exhaled amusedly. She recalled the night back in Sakana when Hunnigan had turned up at the motel room drunk and commented on Helena’s arms being muscular. She’d taken it as compliment, but she hadn’t realized Hunnigan had meant anything more with it than merely point out something she’d only then realized.

“In all seriousness... she looks at you like you’re the most magnificent being on the planet, and as her mother I’m very happy to be able to say that you look at her the same way.”  
“I really am crazy about her,” Helena admitted with a smile.

“Good! He seems to be crazy about you,” Alix then commented when Seeley reached his arms out toward Helena and she mimicked the gesture, wiggling her fingers at the boy and he giggled.

“What can I say, we’re buddies,” Helena smiled. Alix shifted a little and cleared her throat softly, inhaling deeply, obviously wanting to say something but deciding not to voice out her thoughts just before she got it out. Helena noticed that and frowned a little.

“What..?”  
“Have you and Ingrid discussed having children?” Alix asked bluntly and Helena offered a rueful smile.

“Kind of, yes. And she said she would happily have a baby... if it were literally my baby, as in if I got her pregnant, which... correct me if I’m wrong... is not something I am capable of doing, so I take that as a no.”

“Oh, I’ve heard just recently about science accomplishing crazier things, like reanimating the dead, who’s to say same-sex couples can’t have children some day? Well, the women anyway... it might get trickier for the men,” Alix said, pursing her lips as she considered it, getting lost in thought until Helena spoke and brought her back to reality.

“You have a point, but you gotta remember that the science behind reanimating the dead is mostly financed by terrorists and guys who like to call themselves gods of war, there’s profit to be made there; no one profits from people having children... other than the fertility clinics at least,” Helena reasoned and Alix nodded slowly.

“You’re right, but reproductive science is still a fascinating field. Sure, some of the motivation might be a bit questionable... like the types of people who want to manipulate the genes of their future children in order to guarantee a certain eye color or other traits... but even then, it’s still being worked on, so don’t give up hope.”

“You sound like you know something I don’t,” Helena pointed out as Alix smiled to Seeley, not cringing even when he did the thing all babies seem to love doing, namely gripped her cheek and squeezed his tiny hand into a tight fist.

“Oh, sweetheart, if there’s something you should know about me, it is that I _always_ know something you don’t,” Alix grinned michievously.

***


	34. Thank you

_Oh, crap,_ Hunnigan sighed internally after glancing at the label on the beer bottle. She hadn’t planned on ending up getting borderline drunk when she’d agreed to have a couple of beers with Leon –despite her better judgment— but she hadn’t realized the few beers she’d consumed had contained eighteen percent alcohol by volume. She’d been drinking them like they were just your average beer.

 _Should’ve known better, as if Leon would drink just any beer,_ she mused.

“You know, I have no idea how long it’s been since I just sat down and watched a movie... or when I went to the movies,” she said when the end credits of _Some like it hot_ began scrolling on the screen after what Leon had declared the best ending ever, and Hunnigan’d agreed.

“Yeah, things like this are usually reserved for normal people, we don’t get much of normal things, do we?” Leon chuckled.

“I know, right? And it’s like... I mean, I’m just trying to keep track of all the fucked up shit that’s happened to me in just the past few months, and I just can’t!” Hunnigan exclaimed before finishing her beer and setting the bottle onto the table.

“I gave up trying to do that immediately after Raccoon City,” Leon said, shaking his head and exhaling deeply.  
“But you know what really gets to me?” Hunnigan asked, turning to sit sideways on the couch so that she could face Leon, her words ever so slightly slurring as she spoke. He shook his head.

“That after everything I’d been through up until just recently, I was fine. And now all it took was this assault, and... all of a sudden it’s like Michael and the stress win.”  
“I don’t know what means,” Leon admitted reluctantly.

“He ruined my home and tarnished everything in there just by entering. I can’t think back on the good times there without summoning a ghost of him. Like, if I think about intimate details regarding my life with Helena in that apartment... details which I won’t share just so you know...”

“Ah, so I’ll need to get you more drunk,” Leon interjected and hurried to grab another beer from the fridge and handing it to Hunnigan before slumping back onto the couch. To his surprise she accepted the drink, popped the bottle open and took a long sip before speaking again.

“...if I try to think back about those, I instantly just... see and feel and smell _him_ when I should be thinking about Helena or anything else. He _did_ rape me. I mean, _not_ literally, but in the sense that he ruined something that was very important, private and sacred to me. He ruined something from my core and I don’t know what to do about that,” Hunnigan continued and Leon nodded slowly.

“I’m sorry, it’s not... I don’t even know why I’m telling you this, I didn’t mean to bring the mood down and I don’t expect you to have the answers to my questions, I just... I don’t know, I’m sorry,” she then apologized.  
“Don’t worry about it, as I said, you can talk to me if you want to. Besides, Liv’s gonna be so envious if she finds out you talked to me and not her,” Leon smirked and Hunnigan slapped his shoulder playfully.

“You know... whenever I saw articles about serial killers and I read the interviews from the people who were supposedly closest to them... I recall they’d always say they never had any idea what their friend was really like... and I used to think, how the hell do you not know your buddy is killing people and eating their faces, or something.”

“And?”

“And now I find myself saying I genuinely had no idea Michael did the things he did. I mean, there are little things that make more sense to me now after I know the truth, but if you’d asked me a month ago do I think he’s responsible for the crimes he committed, I would’ve said no. I would’ve said he was prone to depression and suicidal thoughts, but not rape and homicide. Little did I know, huh?” Hunnigan scoffed, drank from her bottle and then exhaled agitatedly, visibly angry at herself over it all.

“Hey...” Leon said softly, reaching to put his hand over her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.  
“Don’t blame yourself. You couldn’t have known, obviously no one knew,” he said.

“I know. I’ve been through this and I have blamed myself over everything, and I’ve been beating myself up for just freezing like that when it all happened. I mean, I’ve been trained to get out of a situation like that, but still...”

“It’s a perfectly natural reaction. And maybe the reason you froze was because it was someone you knew, and you didn’t believe he would be the kind of a guy who would do that,” Leon reasoned shrugging a little. He was no expert, maybe Olivia could’ve offered some facts had she been here, but he didn’t think he was necessarily wrong.

“So, how are you doing? I mean, how are you really?” Hunnigan changed the subject.  
“A lot better. Let’s just leave it at that,” he smiled a little.

“Leon...”  
“I know. And I admit I have things I need to work on, but who doesn’t, right?”

“Just as long as you promise me you’ll tell me if you need anything,” Hunnigan said and he chuckled quietly, ran his fingers through his hair and took a long drink from his bottle. She could tell he had something on his mind, something he wanted to share, but had a hard time voicing. She didn’t push him.

“Claire thinks I drink too much,” he said turning the beer bottle in his hands somewhat nervously and picking at the label with his thumbnail.  
“Do you?” Hunnigan queried, realizing it was kind of ironic considering they were both more than just a tad tipsy right now.

“Well, it’s not like I stumble home drunk every night and pass out in a pool of vomit and piss, you know? I’m not denying I like getting drunk, but I’m saying it’s not a problem. No one’s getting hurt and I’m not drinking on the job, nor do I get violent or loud... I just don’t get why Claire makes such a big deal about it,” Leon shook his head sighing deeply.

“You quit field duty to be with her and your son, I don’t think she was expecting you to spend the time at home being drunk all the time.”  
“I’m not drunk _all the time,_ I have a drink now and then and a few beers here and there, but I don’t get ‘drunk’-drunk, so I don’t see the problem.”

“Well, obviously she does,” Hunnigan shrugged one shoulder and Leon grumbled a little annoyedly.  
“I should’ve known you’d take her side,” he said, the disappointment audible in his voice.

“I’m not taking anyone’s side,” Hunnigan denied, “I’m just saying that she probably considers it a problem because she’s worried about you. You know what us women are like, we nag because we care, when we let you do whatever you want, that’s when you should worry,” she then said, trying to lighten the mood a little, and it worked; Leon chuckled softly.

“I’m not gonna lie, it’s not like things have been exactly a walk in the park for us for a while there... We’ve known each other since Raccoon City and... after we got away from the city, she just left. She went looking for Chris and left Sherry and I behind just like that. I hated her for it,” Leon confessed in a quiet mutter and Hunnigan nodded slowly and waited while he drank more from his bottle.

“And then I hated myself for feeling that way toward her, because none of it was her fault and her staying wouldn’t have made anything better. But I just got so angry when I considered the fact that while Sherry and I were practically held prisoner by our own government, Claire was out there doing crazy shit... well, she did occasionally visit Sherry at least, but...” he trailed off in a mutter and ground his teeth together, the muscles in his jaw visibly clenching as he did that.

“I know I’m not being fair. Honestly, I’m kind of envious of her spirit.”  
“How come?”

“It’s like she’s Teflon, you know? For Christ’s sakes, she was nineteen when she was already infiltrating Umbrella’s research facilities and fighting her way through some pretty damn heavy shit, and she just keeps going whereas I’ve... more or less given up.”

“Realizing your priorities have changed and acting accordingly is not giving up, it’s being sensible,” Hunnigan pointed out.  
“I feel like I’m holding her back. I mean, I know I am, she’s all but said it. If it weren’t for Seeley, I’m sure she would’ve left me.”

“You don’t know that.”  
“I kind of do,” Leon argued quietly.

“If she didn’t want a family with you, she had options... unless she’s Catholic...” Hunnigan muttered, took a sip of beer and continued, “...but instead, she chose this. Shouldn’t that mean something?”

“Of course it means something, it means a lot, but it doesn’t erase the fact that it’s not necessarily what she imagined or hoped it would be. I mean, it’s not like I’m telling her she has to become a stay at home mom, but like for me, running off on a mission isn’t that simple anymore. But _unlike_ me, she still has that fire and will to go on a mission and rescue the entire world.”

“And nothing’s stopping her from making a difference, there are more ways than one to fight this war. Maybe once Seeley is older, Claire can go on missions... if she still wants to at that point. Either way, the fact is that through everything that's happened, you're still together,” Hunnigan said and he chuckled ruefully.

“We weren’t for the longest time, not properly. I mean... I’ve loved her for a very long time, but as it is like with just sitting down and watching a movie; dating is really more for normal people, not for people like me and Claire. We’d run into each other and try catching up again, but every single time, we both always had to run off afterward,” he said.

“That sounds depressing.”  
“I guess,” Leon scoffed amusedly. He drank from his bottle once more and this time Hunnigan followed his example.

“I thought I’d lost her a while back when this Neil-guy came into the picture. I hated him.”  
“I remember. You beat the crap out of him and I had to bail you out from jail,” Hunnigan recalled and Leon chuckled awkwardly.

"Yeah, Claire wasn't exactly thrilled about the incident either."  
"I can imagine. If Helena beat up my boss for no apparent reason, I'd be pretty pissed off too."

"Hey, I had a reason," Leon held up his finger to emphasize the fact.  
“He and Claire had an affair?” Hunnigan’s eyebrows rose and Leon shrugged one shoulder.

“I don’t know, I don’t think so. But I know she had feelings for him. Frankly, I’d rather she’d just fucked him; knowing she cared about him hurts more.”

“...you do realize I have to point out the tiny hypocricy here, I mean, you and Ada...” Hunnigan trailed off awkwardly and Leon held up his finger again, this time  to interrupt her.

“Me and Ada haven’t done anything in years, not since Claire and I agreed we’d be monogamous. Neil came into the picture afterward.”  
“Okay...”

“It doesn’t matter, he’s dead. But as I said, I’m pretty sure that if it weren’t for Seeley, she would’ve left me by now.”  
“Why would she do that?”

“Because apparently, somewhere along the way I became a terrible man who drinks too much,” Leon scoffed and as if to emphasize his point, emptied his beer bottle and grabbed another.  
“Unless she’s literally told you that, I think you might just be drunk and feeling emo right now,” Hunnigan smirked and Leon snorted.

“I suppose that’s possible too,” he nodded.  
“I’m sorry, Leon. I’ve not been a good friend,” Hunnigan then sighed and Leon turned to look at her, frowning deeply.

“What are you talking about, you’ve been my most trusted friend ever.”  
“Be that as it may, when have I ever asked you how you are?”

“Often, I’ve just never given a proper answer,” he shrugged.  
“Still, I’m sorry I haven’t really been there for you,” she said and put her arms around his shoulders, pulling him into a tight hug.

“Now who’s being emo,” he chuckled softly but returned the gesture regardless, holding onto her tightly and then inhaling deeply through his nose when the scent of her perfume flooded his senses. Cinnamon, apple and a hint of vanilla spiced with sweet rum.

“What is that perfume you’re wearing?” he asked as he pulled back from the hug.  
“It’s not a perfume, it’s a scented oil I special order from a little shop that hand blends them,” she answered.

“Sounds expensive.”  
“It is, but it’s also unique. A little way I like to treat myself. Why did you ask?”

“No reason, it just smells real nice. You know, when I first saw you, I knew you’d smell good.”  
“Leon, when you first saw me, you were in a rural village in Europe, trying to find the President’s missing daughter,” Hunnigan scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“Yes, and then you called and I thought to myself that you look like you smell good.”  
“If that honestly was your first thought in that situation, you’re weirder than I thought,” Hunnigan laughed.

“Maybe, but I wasn’t wrong,” he said, leaned in a little closer and inhaled deeply again.  
“Any chance you’d wanna make out a little?” he then vexed and Hunnigan guffawed at that.

“I’m almost tempted to say yes just to see the look on your face. But no. Helena would kill you and Claire would kill me.”  
“Why on Earth would we ever tell them?”

“You’re incorrigible.”  
“I know, that’s what you love about me. That and my boyish charm,” Leon smiled sweetly.

“You’re a good friend, Leon. And I do love you,” Hunnigan then said and reached to kiss his cheek softly.  
“Yeah, well, the state you’re in right now, you love everybody,” he chuckled, “but for the record, I love you too,” he then added.

“I’m kinda hungry,” Hunnigan then said and Leon ran a hand over his chin as he thought about their options.  
“We could order a pizza.”

“Yes! And I want pineapple on my half of it.”  
“You monster,” Leon laughed as he opened the laptop and browsed to the pizzeria’s website to place the order. Once he was done, he brought them both yet more beer.

“How many do you have? I think I’ve already had like twelve,” Hunnigan frowned and Leon laughed.  
“You’ve had five, and I’ve got an impressive storage, let’s just leave it at that,” he winked, opened the bottle and clinked it against Hunnigan’s before taking a long sip.

“You know, I won’t lie, I was kind of worried about how tonight would turn out,” he then confessed.  
“If you were worried then why’d you even ask me over in the first place?”

“Because I wanted to spend time with you. I don’t really have any friends I’d get to do this with, or with whom I’d want to do this. Most of them live elsewhere or just aren’t all that interesting.”  
“Well, I’m glad I proved you wrong about myself,” Hunnigan chuckled.

“You did! I never knew you had this side in you.”

“Why would you have known, I don’t talk to people at work the way I talk to people while off-duty. I don’t talk to you like I talk to Helena. I don’t talk to my boss like I talk to you. We’re all a little different depending on who we’re around. You’re used to seeing the workaholic because that’s the only environment you’ve typically met me in,” Hunnigan explained.

“Yeah, and I’m beginning to realize that only now. Well, except, there’s at least one exception to this rule of people being different around different people.”  
“Olivia,” Hunnigan said and he chuckled, nodding.

“Yep, she’s always herself.”  
“It’s very refreshing. I was initially worried I wouldn’t get along with her, but now I’d miss her if she got her own office,” Hunnigan realized.

“Yeah, she’s kinda awesome. And funny as hell,” Leon said and hiccupped.  
“My, my, agent Kennedy, do you have a little boy crush on her?” Hunnigan drawled and Leon laughed.

“No, but I am just realizing that I have a lot amazing women in my life, and that makes me happy. I don’t understand any of you, but I’m glad you’re my friends,” he said and hiccupped again, patting his chest with his fist as if that would somehow stop the hiccups.

“Damn it!” he growled in frustration when the annoying reflex wouldn’t stop.  
“Lean your head back,” Hunnigan said and he did as he was told. She stood on her knees on the couch and held her beer bottle above his face.

“Now, follow the bottom of the bottle with your eyes,” she said and began to spin it over his face in a slow circle. She did it for a moment until his hiccup was gone.

“Are you a wizard?” Leon blinked slowly as he sat back upright.  
“No, I’m Drunkerella, and this is just one of my many drunk superpowers,” Hunnigan grinned and Leon burst out laughing.

 

***


	35. Jimmy

Lucy had been given the questionable honor of being Hunnigan’s designated driver and she didn’t even make an effort to hide her amusement when she saw the older sister was actually quite drunk. It wasn’t something she’d gotten to witness very often. Hunnigan slumped against the door after finally managing to buckle in and sighed deeply.

“Hey, Lucynator, you know I love you, right?” she asked, reaching out to pat Lucy’s arm with the back of her hand.  
“Yeah, I know, I love you too, Jim,” Lucy assured with a soft chuckle.

“And, hey, _lissen-lissen_ ,” Hunnigan said and straightened up a little in the seat as Lucy drove.

“You are going to be a great agent. At least as long as you remember not to antagonize Olivia too much. I know she says things about you that are less than flattering, but trust me, it’s not her intention to hurt your feelings.”

“Yeah, I know it’s not because she doesn’t believe I even have feelings,” Lucy interjected, but Hunnigan ignored her. She couldn’t really argue over that because Lucy wasn’t exactly wrong.  
“Liv doesn’t know how to censor herself and just says whatever’s on her mind, but she has a good heart. She’s... well, actually you two are kind of very similar in that way,” Hunnigan laughed a little.

“All right-y then,” Lucy said slowly. A few minutes later they were home and Lucy went to help Hunnigan out of the car and snuck her into the house.

“I’m okay, thank you, you can go, I’ll manage,” Hunnigan assured. Lucy wasn’t exactly convinced but didn’t argue. Once she’d gone, Hunnigan straightened her back, put her hands on her hips and exhaled deeply. She kicked her shoes off and was about to go upstairs when she decided to change direction. Instead, she headed into Alix’s study.

She pushed the door open quietly and peeked in. Alix wasn’t there and Hunnigan stepped in. She circled the massive wooden desk and slumped into Alix’s chair, needing a moment to regain her balance after almost missing the seat, and then leaned forward, resting her chin in the cup of her hand as she turned Alix’s laptop on.

Once the password prompt came up, Hunnigan needed only a few seconds to consider the possibilities. Despite everything she had preached to Alix regarding picking a password, Alix had gone with the obvious one.

_Jimmy09171980,_ Hunnigan typed in her nickname and birthdate, and sure enough, the computer welcomed her.

“Oh, mom,” Hunnigan sighed and went to look through the files. It didn’t take her long to find what she’d wanted to see. She couldn’t say why she’d wanted to see the files in the first place, but looking at all of this made it somehow more... real. Blood and mutilated flesh, tortured and left behind by a man full of incredible amount of hate, lust, and incomprehensible rage. It was sickening and disturbing on a level that Hunnigan hadn’t even known existed or could be experienced.

“Ingrid James Hunnigan!” Alix snapped and Hunnigan jumped in the chair and slammed the laptop’s lid shut, instantly reliving a moment from her childhood. That had been the only time she ever recalled Alix getting genuinely angry at her.

The situation had been pretty much the same, Hunnigan had snuck into Alix’s study and gotten into her files, only back then they’d been physical folders and photos, hard copies of autopsy reports and crime scenes. Hunnigan had sat underneath Alix’s desk, gory photos scattered around her as she’d read the reports, not fully understanding all the words yet, but unable to stop despite knowing she shouldn’t have been there and despite the photos being kind of scary.

Alix had caught her and for the first time ever (and the last, for now anyway), she’d yelled at Hunnigan. She’d burst into tears. She’d been seven years old and right now, she felt just as small and ashamed as she had that day.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Alix hissed as she stepped into the room and crossed her arms over her abdomen.

“These women suffered so much,” Hunnigan said, her voice thick with sadness as she rested her palm on the laptop to indicate what she was referring to. Alix sighed deeply and went to Hunnigan, pausing beside the chair and moving to hug her tightly for a long moment before gently urging her to get up.

“Come on, Jimmy, bed time,” Alix smiled ruefully and Hunnigan nodded, stood up and let Alix lead her upstairs.  
“Mom, I’m sorry...”

“It’s all right, sweetheart. Come on now... and be quiet, the baby’s asleep,” Alix said gently.  
“Oh, right, Seeley,” Hunnigan muttered, seeming to remember him being here only now.

“Here, enjoy,” Alix smirked when she dropped Hunnigan off into Helena’s care.  
“Thanks, I’m sure I will,” Helena smirked back, and helped Hunnigan into bed. Hunnigan lay on her back and Helena proceeded to assist removing her jacket and jeans.

“You are... so beautiful!” Hunnigan exclaimed softly as if only now realizing it for the first time.

“You’re drunk,” Helena smiled, finished undressing Hunnigan and tucked her in before getting in bed as well.  
“You’re sexy. I don’t think I tell you that often enough. Or that I love you so much. And you know what, I really love the shape of your nose. And the color of your eyes.”

“My eyes are brown, nothing unusual about that,” Helena pointed out, smiling at Hunnigan’s antics. She was a cute drunk.  
“No, they’re not, they’re more... amber than brown. At least in the right lighting.”

“I never realized you’d paid such close attention.”  
“I _do_ pay a lot of attention, but I just... never really get around to telling you about how much I appreciate you, I’m not good at talking about this stuff.”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to be,” Helena assured gently.  
“But I just love you so much!” Hunnigan said again and Helena couldn’t keep herself from chuckling a little at how serious and passionate Hunnigan was being about it right now.

“I know, and I love you too, sweetheart,” she said.  
“Hold me.”

“I am.”  
“No, tighter. I won’t break, I just love having your arms around me, makes me feel safe and like I belong.”

“You _do_ belong with me,” Helena whispered, tightened her hold on Hunnigan as requested and kissed her forehead softly.  
“Do you ever feel like I don’t... I mean, it just feels like to me that you’re the one who gives more in our relationship.”

“Gives what?” Helena chuckled.

“Well, like, you’re more attentive and always make me feel loved and safe and you tell me how you feel and you show me how you feel, and I’m just... not any good at that, not to mention that in bed, you’re pretty much always the one who does all the work, and I know this, but I don’t know how to do anything about it really, I mean...” Hunnigan babbled and Helena leaned into silence her with a soft kiss.

“Firstly, I’m extremely happy with our sex life as it is, and if there’d be something I’d like to add to it, I would just tell you, and I hope you’d tell me if you wanted something specific. Secondly, you don’t need to tell me you love me fifty times a day. You’ve let me into your life and you’ve let me closer to you than you’ve let anyone else before, that alone tells me you love me,” Helena reasoned quietly.

“I really do. Sometimes I just think you’re too good for me,” Hunnigan muttered, absently stroking Helena’s collarbone with her fingertips, the movement of her hand suddenly stopping when she felt the raised scar tissue on Helena’s right shoulder.

“You took a fricking bullet for me,” she said, her voice trembling a little as she fought back the tears.  
“And I’d do it again because quite frankly, I don’t want to live without you,” Helena smiled a little and put her fingers underneath Hunnigan’s chin, urging her to look up.

“Hey. Everything’s okay. Trust me. We’re okay,” she promised quietly and kissed Hunnigan softly.  
“I love you so much, Helena,” she said once more, sniffled a little and nuzzled into the hollow of Helena’s throat.

“I love you too... You’re my everything,” she said and ran her fingers through Hunnigan’s hair in long slow strokes. “Now, try to get some sleep, sweetheart,” Helena then whispered before realizing Hunnigan had already passed out.

* * *

Helena had been awake for about an hour before Hunnigan stirred and turned to lie on her back, letting out a quiet groan, covering her eyes with her forearm. Helena smiled and put away the book she’d been reading.

“So thirsty,” Hunnigan muttered.  
“I thought you might be,” Helena replied and reached for the pitcher of ice water she’d brought to the room earlier, poured Hunnigan a glass and handed it over.

“You are an amazing woman,” Hunnigan praised as she gratefully accepted the glass and drank from it.  
“How are you feeling?” Helena asked despite already having a pretty good idea of what the answer would be.

“Hungover and horny.”  
“I don’t understand how those two go hand-in-hand with you.”

“I don’t either, but it’s handy, orgasms tend to make me feel better,” Hunnigan smirked, gave the empty glass to Helena and settled to lie back down.  
“So, that one day in Sakana after you’d been drinking with the environmentalists...” Helena trailed off and put the glass onto the nightstand.

“I masturbated while you were in the shower,” Hunnigan disclosed bluntly and Helena’s eyebrows rose in surprise.  
“Really?”

“Why would I make that up?”  
“What were you thinking about?” Helena grinned and moved to lie down as well, leaning onto her elbow and resting her head against her palm.

“About you taking a shower,” Hunnigan answered and chuckled a little.  
“I’m flattered.”

“Yeah, well, couldn’t help myself, you have those strong arms and amazing deltoids, and a muscular back...” Hunnigan listed absently, closing her eyes.  
“I never realized you liked them so much.”

“I do, so... are you gonna put those sexy arms around me or what?” Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow. Helena was quickly becoming convinced Hunnigan was still a bit drunk; she wasn’t usually quite this talkative or straightforward.

“I’d be happy to do that and more,” Helena assured, but before she had a chance to do anything, Seeley began to fuss in the crib Lance had brought over for him and placed in the corner of the room. Helena got up and went to check on him.

“What’s the matter, lil’ dude? Yeah, it’s okay,” she whispered to the boy as she picked him up.  
“Sorry, I’m just gonna...”

“It’s fine,” Hunnigan smiled, lay back down and buried herself in the blankets as Helena exited the room with the cranky baby. Hunnigan waited for a moment, trying to stay awake, but nodded off despite her efforts. She couldn’t tell how long she’d been asleep when Helena got back.

“Your mom stole the baby from me,” Helena said when she stepped into the room and Hunnigan chuckled a little, her eyes still closed.  
“Yeah, that sounds like something she’d do,” she confirmed.

“Well... since she’s with Seeley and we have the room to ourselves... do you feel like picking up where we left off?” Helena asked and got back into bed as well.

“Mmm, I want...” Hunnigan began, her words a mere mumble as she moved to press herself against Helena, and she gladly indulged the taller woman’s desire to be held. She wanted lingering sleepy kisses, slow gentle caresses, she wanted to be loved with a soft quiet passion, and Helena was more than happy to do just that.

***


	36. Such normal things

_This chapter features a piece of nsfw-ish art. Illustrations were provided by_

_**[Oceanmyhope](https://oceanmyhope.tumblr.com/) ** _

* * *

 

Thanks to Olivia’s connections, it didn’t take long for Hunnigan and Helena to get bumped to the top of the list when it came to finding a house that was at a convenient location and not a complete dump.

The layout of downstairs was quite similar to what Hunnigan’s previous apartment’s had been, so decorating and deciding which piece of furniture would go well where wasn’t difficult. Unlike at the apartment, downstairs had a full bathroom and a laundry room, and the kitchen was separated from the living room by a dining room, and a welcome addition to the living room was the fireplace. Upon seeing that, Hunnigan had gladly given up on even trying to stay within budget, she’d wanted this house and she’d been determined to get it too.

Upstairs had a half bath next to the master bedroom and two smaller rooms which remained empty for now, but Hunnigan had plans to make them into guest rooms or into a study at some point, that wasn’t the priority at the moment. There was also a small balcony which one could access from the master bedroom. That was one of Helena’s personal favorite features in the house and for all the wrong reasons as far as Hunnigan was concerned; Helena loved the idea of not having to drag herself all the way downstairs and to the patio in the backyard when she wanted to have her first cigarette of the day.

As one would expect, the downside of the house being just perfect was that it was more than just a little out of their price range, but it was a sacrifice Hunnigan was willing to make. Helena, unfortunately, couldn’t contribute much, not even her opinion really mattered since her name wasn’t much use considering the state of her credit history, so the decision was ultimately Hunnigan’s alone. Of course, she’d asked for Helena’s opinion rather than just decided to buy the house without asking if Helena wanted the same thing, and truthfully the only thing Helena had against the idea of living here was that the house cost over twice as much as she’d assumed they’d be spending.

Money was the last thing she’d ever expected to become a self-esteem issue for her, but it was beginning to get to her when facing much larger financial decisions than she’d ever needed to before, and upon realizing that almost every item in the house had been paid for with Hunnigan’s money. It was supposed to be _their_ home, but what had she contributed? A couple of pairs of boots, her clothes and an old Bible.

Hunnigan had noticed Helena’s mood and she’d kind of been waiting for the younger woman to get it out and just tell her what was wrong already, but when she’d done no such thing even after they were done moving into the house, Hunnigan accepted that she’d need to force it out of Helena.

“Do you want to tell me the reason why you don’t seem anywhere near as excited about our home as I think you should be, or do I have to waterboard you to get an answer?” Hunnigan asked quietly and went to Helena who’d been standing in front of the fire place, absently staring into the fire with her arms crossed over her abdomen, a troubled frown on her face. Hunnigan put her arms around her from behind and moved to rest her chin on Helena’s shoulder, and she leaned into the embrace.

“I _am_ happy that we got the house and that we’re here, I’m just... worried about the money,” Helena answered honestly.  
“I understand that it’s a huge commitment and that a lot of our income will go toward paying the house, but...”

“No, not _our_ income, _your_ income, because mine’s already practically gone before I ever even get it,” Helena grumbled in frustration and Hunnigan gently tugged on her, urging her to turn around, and Helena did.

“It’s just money, and as long as we have enough to keep a roof over our heads and our bellies full, who cares about the money, it comes and goes. And in fifteen or so years we’ll have paid the mortgage back and we’ll have more money to not care about,” Hunnigan reasoned with a shrug.

Admittedly, she could see why the monthly payment of a little over two thousand dollars would seem a ridiculous, intimidating amount to someone who was so used to living from hand to mouth, but at the same time, Hunnigan wished Helena would just trust her on this and not brood over it. She wasn’t sure how to convince her about it all, though.

“I know that there are more important things in life than money, but it’s embarrassing to have you pay for everything.”

“There’s no reason for you to be embarrassed, I’m paying for the things I am because I have no other expenses, what else would I do with the money? Stash it away for... what?” Hunnigan asked and Helena sighed in exasperation.

“I don’t know. It’s just how I feel,” she muttered and turned to face the fireplace again, her back toward Hunnigan.  
“I really don’t want us to argue about this,” Hunnigan said softly and Helena seemed to deflate a little as she exhaled deeply.

“I don’t either, and I don’t even know why I’m making a big deal out of this, it’s just... I guess I’m scared. I’m used to things going to hell the moment I let my guard down and relax, and now I’m stuck expecting something terrible to happen because it seems that everything is okay. Does that make any sense?”

“It does. But, Helena... trust me,” Hunnigan whispered and held her close once more, seeking out Helena’s hand and slipping her fingers between Helena’s, gently squeezing her hand in her own.

“You keep me safe from monsters and nutjobs kidnapping me or just plain old assaulting me... and I’ll keep you safe from creditors and collection agencies,” she jested and Helena chuckled softly.  
“Maybe that’s what’s wrong, this isnt’s weird enough, I’m not used to such normal things,” she analyzed and Hunnigan scoffed amusedly.

“Don’t jinx us now, I’m sure the universe won’t need any more encouragement to eventually throw some kind of a monkey wrench into our plans, we should just enjoy the calm while it lasts,” she said.

“You’re right, as you usually are. I’m sorry for being such a grouch. Let me make it up to you,” Helena murmured and turned to face Hunnigan once more, reaching to put her arms around her waist and pressed herself against the taller woman.

“What did you have in mind?”  
“Let’s go jump up and down on the bed,” Helena said and Hunnigan knew perfectly well she’d made the comment in jest, never really expecting Hunnigan to go for it.

“You know what? Yes. Let’s do that!” Hunnigan said excitedly and turned to head upstairs.

“Wait, what?”  
“Come on!”

“Seriously?” Helena frowned and Hunnigan scoffed, grabbed Helena’s arm and pulled on her to get her moving.  
“Yes, I am going ‘Tom Cruise on Oprah’-level crazy happy right now and I’m taking you with me,” Hunnigan said as she hurried up the stairs.

“Great, now all we need is a screaming studio audience,” Helena laughed, but unlike Hunnigan, she paused to stand next to the bed instead of climbing on to it.  
“We have a house!” she proclaimed happily, her arms in the air.

“Jesus, Hunnigan, I’ve never seen you act like that, are you high?” Helena quirked an eyebrow and chuckled.  
“Yes! High on happy!” she responded. “And you should be too, miss grumpy,” she added, got down and pressed her body against Helena’s, urging her to lie down on the bed, and she gave in, settling on her back.

“Put your feet against my pelvis,” she then ordered as she stood on the edge of the bed, and Helena frowned but did so regardless.

“Oh, I see,” Helena said when Hunnigan leaned against her feet and reached out to hold onto Helena’s hands for support.

“You know, I haven’t done this... literally in thirty years,” Hunnigan chuckled as she balanced herself on Helena’s feet as she“made her fly”.  
“Is it as fun as you remember?” Helena laughed softly.

“Even more fun because I feel like I’m doing something I shouldn’t be doing. After all, adults aren’t supposed to behave this way,” Hunnigan smirked.  
“Well, I _did_ skip my leg day, so this isn’t just pointless fun,” Helena quirked an eyebrow and bent her legs at the knees, lowering Hunnigan a little before pushing her back up again.

“And just like that, you took the fun out of it by telling me it’s useful,” she pouted and got down.  
“Let me make it up to you,” Helena whispered and pulled Hunnigan closer, capturing her lips into a soft, gentle kiss.

_by Oceanmyhope, view in full size[here](https://i.imgur.com/5PCUvza.jpg)_

* * *

“You know... I’d really missed this,” Hunnigan said as she sat at the bar in the kitchen, cradling a mug of tea in her hands, dressed only in her collared shirt which still remained unbuttoned.

“Missed what?” Helena asked over her shoulder as she worked at the kitchen counter behind Hunnigan. Unlike her, Helena hadn’t bothered getting dressed at all; a decision she was beginning to regret a little when she wondered if she’d end up getting drops of hot butter spat back at her from the frying pan when she’d eventually set the breaded fish fillets into the pan.

“Having privacy. Being able to just walk around naked if I want to,” Hunnigan elaborated. She’d particularly missed being able to just cuddle nude on the couch while binge-watching something with Helena, their bodies and a simple blanket keeping them warm, both secure in knowing there was no one else anywhere near them and that neither one of them was in a hurry to go anywhere.

“Ah, well yes, I agree, I wouldn’t have dreamt of doing this at your parents’ house even if I knew they weren’t home. At the very least I would’ve had to deal with the dog staring at me,” Helena chuckled and began to cook the fish they’d have for late dinner.

“Well, can you blame the poor dog, you are a sight to behold,” Hunnigan commented after turning around in the chair, resting her weight on her forearm that was pressed against the bar as she leaned back and shamelessly let her eyes wander over Helena’s nude figure.

“You’re rarely verbally romantic, but when you are, you’re adorably cheesy in the best possible way that just makes my heart melt,” Helena sighed happily and Hunnigan laughed a little, put her mug away and got down from the chair.

“In all seriousness... you are feeling better about all of this, right? No more doubts, insecurities, worries about money?” Hunnigan asked to make sure, once more finding herself behind Helena with her arms around the other woman’s waist.

“I am, I really am. You can be very convincing,” Helena assured and turned her head to the side to be able to kiss the corner of Hunnigan’s mouth.  
“Only when I know I’m right,” Hunnigan smiled, peppered the side of Helena’s neck with small kisses.

_by Oceanmyhope, view in full size[here](https://i.imgur.com/xfdYMtC.jpg)_

* * *

 


	37. Everything

Somewhere along the line Olivia had appointed herself the person in charge of planning Helena and Hunnigan’s bachelorette parties and their wedding, no questions asked from the happy couple of course. Truthfully, her eager assistance was more than welcomed, neither Helena nor Hunnigan had the time or the genuine interest in figuring out the minor details.

“I’m surprised at you, I was expecting you to be in full bridezilla-mode and Hunnigan to be micromanaging everything,” Olivia commented to Helena as she waited outside the dressing room at a costume store, the small place cluttered with a surprisingly wide variety of outfits to choose from. Olivia had decided the theme of the bachelorette party would be a costume party, and it hadn’t taken Olivia long to spot what she insisted Helena wears for the occasion. Frankly, had it been up to her, there would’ve been two separate bachelorette parties, but considering the circle of the couple’s friends consisted mainly of all the same people, it seemed pointless.

“Honestly, I just want to get married, I want to see our names on a piece of paper which proves that, amazingly, Hunnigan has agreed to have herself legally bound to my stupid ass,” Helena chortled and exited the dressing room wearing the outfit Olivia had ordered her to put on.

“Remind me again why I’m the one who has to endure this and Hunnigan gets to dress however she chooses to?” she then grumbled.  
“She threatened not to show up at all unless she gets to go as Drunkerella. That woman sure loves those gray sweatpants,” Olivia rolled her eyes.

“True, but as unsexy as they are, she somehow manages to look incredibly hot in them,” Helena sighed and turned to glance at herself in the mirror once more, hanging her head in defeat.

“I look like a prostitute,” she said dressed in the ridiculous cop-uniform Olivia had picked out for her. The skirt barely reached halfway down her thighs and there was absolutely no way she could’ve buttoned up the jacket completely without getting a breast reduction first. Olivia slipped a tie around Helena’s neck and let it hang there loosely before placing a cop hat on her head, leaving it kind of crooked.

 

“Now you look like a stripper.”  
“Oh yes, much better,” Helena drawled sarcastically.

“It is, now you can be the entertainment at the party and you won’t have to hire a stripper. You’re welcome,” Olivia said cheerfully and patted the top of the hat so that it slid over Helena’s eyes.  
“Thank you so much,” Helena mumbled, headed back into the dressing room and began to change back into her own clothes.

“Have you picked up the rings yet?” Olivia inquired.  
“Uh, no...”

“Let’s get that done next then.”  
“Yes, ma’am,” Helena smirked as she exited the dressing room and they headed to the checkout to pay for the cop-costume.

Not long after that, they arrived at the store where Helena had ordered the rings from the day she’d finally had the cash to pay for them. The clerk retrieved them and held up the platinum bands for Helena to inspect.

“Whaddaya think?” she asked from Olivia, swallowing a bit nervously, trying to hide it, but also finding herself desperately needing someone’s reassurance.  
“Oh, Helena. That is... elegant, classic, beautiful... it’s Hunnigan. It’s perfect,” Olivia confirmed with a smile and Helena let out a relieved exhale.

“Excellent. Now all I gotta do is figure out how to propose to her,” Helena said and proceeded to pay for the rings and the clerk placed them in their boxes which he then handed to Helena once the transaction was complete.

“I was under the impression that you already did, with a Kinder egg,” Olivia quirked an eyebrow as they headed toward the exit with the rings, “I doubt anything could surprise her more than that did.”  
“I am aware that she’s probably expecting me to do it at some point, but I want to do it properly, you know? Not with a plastic polar bear-shaped toy and melting chocolate...”

“Don’t make it too complicated, most of the time what women want is just... someone to kneel in front of them with the ring, okay?” Olivia smirked and Helena scoffed.  
“As if you’d ever settle for something as simple as that,” she commented as Olivia unlocked to doors to her car and they got in.

“Okay, maybe I’d want a fancy dinner before the proposal, but you know Hunnigan... or at least you should know her by now well enough to know that a public display like that would just make her feel uncomfortable and embarrassed.”

“Well, you’re not wrong; she barely tolerates a kiss from me in public,” Helena muttered and Olivia glanced at her, her eyebrow rising a little.  
“If you know that, why do you still do it?”

“Because I want and need some things to be done my way too, okay?” Helena humphed and Olivia chuckled.  
“I don’t blame you, and for what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re pushing Hunnigan out from her comfort zone with little things like that.”

“I’m sure she would not agree with you.”  
“Of course she wouldn’t, that’s what I love about her.”

* * *

Hunnigan sat on the couch, the TV was on, but she wasn’t watching anything, it was merely providing some background noise; Hunnigan’s attention was on her laptop that was resting over her knees. Helena stood in the doorway for a long while, just watching her.

She loved the little crease that appeared on Hunnigan’s forehead between her eyebrows when she unconsciously frowned as she concentrated on her work. She loved the smoothness of the movements of her fingers as she slid them on the laptop’s touchpad. She loved the way Hunnigan pushed her glasses to her forehead, ran her hands over her face and blinked repeatedly as if trying to dispel tiredness before getting back to work again. Frankly, there wasn’t a single mannerism Hunnigan had that Helena didn’t adore.

“Hello there,” she said and went to Hunnigan, leaned into the arm rest of the couch and kissed her. Hunnigan gripped Helena’s chin gently and hummed approvingly into the kiss, letting her lips linger on Helena’s for a while longer before finally pulling back a little.

_created by[Oceanmyhope](https://oceanmyhope.tumblr.com/), view in full size [here](http://i.imgur.com/W8gWJ42.jpg)._

* * *

 

“Hello,” she responded then and closed the laptop’s lid, a small gesture to most, but a great compliment coming from a workaholic like Hunnigan; she was willing to dismiss whatever had preoccupied her mind and give her full attention to Helena instead. The magnitude of the gesture did not go unnoticed by Helena.

“How was your day?” she inquired and went to take a seat on the couch as Hunnigan reached to put the laptop onto the coffee table.  
“Delightfully uneventful,” Hunnigan replied and put her arms around Helena’s shoulders, pulling her closer and planting a soft kiss onto her lips once more. “How was yours?” she then asked.

“It was good. Work-wise delightfully uneventful as well, but I got a lot done,” Helena smiled and turned to sit sideways on the couch, gently tugging on Hunnigan and she understood the message. She moved closer, settling to straddle Helena’s lap, her arms and legs wrapped around the younger woman.

“Did Olivia come up with horrendous ideas for our wedding? Like... setting a flock of doves free or something?” Hunnigan smirked.

“She did suggest that, but I said we’d rather climb into zoo-enclosures and taunt the animals,” Helena smirked back and Hunnigan laughed. She kissed her softly and hugged her to herself tightly for a long moment, simply enjoying the feeling of their bodies pressed together like that and the warmth between them.

“Are you hungry? It’s a little early for dinner, but I could eat,” Hunnigan then said.

“Sounds good,” Helena nodded. She watched Hunnigan head over to the kitchen and stood up, stuck her hand in her pocket and felt the ring box with her fingertips. A part of her still insisted she should wait and come up with something special for the occasion rather than just unceremoniously hand the ring to Hunnigan, but at the same time, she knew Hunnigan better. And she also didn’t want to wait much longer. She decided to wait until after dinner, that was as far as she was willing to postpone it.

While the rice was boiling, Hunnigan chopped up some red bell peppers and mixed the pieces together with peas and corn which she would then add to the rice once it was cooked.

“Anything I can do to help?” Helena inquired when she got into the kitchen.  
“Naw, I’m good,” Hunnigan said, took out the chicken cutlets and covered them with a thin layer of the flour she’d seasoned before proceeding to dip them in egg and, finally, in breadcrumbs.

“Have I ever told you how much I appreciate it that you cook meat and chicken for me despite that you yourself only eat fish?” Helena then asked.  
“I’m not sure if it’s ever come up, but you’re welcome, and I don’t mind,” Hunnigan smiled and moved the chicken into the skillet to cook it.

“Well, I should’ve told you, and I should tell you more often how much I do appreciate the things you do for me.”  
“Really, it’s no bother,” Hunnigan chuckled, “and I like cooking a variety of things, keeps my skills sharp,” she then added.

A while later, dinner was done and they sat down to eat, but Helena was beginning to feel too nervous to actually finish her meal. She didn’t understand why she felt that way, she’d been fine when she’d proposed to Hunnigan the first time, and as silly as her initial proposal had been, she’d been just as serious about it as she would be now with the proper ring. After they’d finished eating, Hunnigan put the dishes into the sink and began to fill it with water, her intention obviously to do the dishes, and Helena quirked an eyebrow.

“Can’t that wait? Or couldn’t you just put them in the washer?”  
“I like doing the dishes. I find a little manual labor relaxing and fun.”

“Oh, honey. You’ve never had actual fun, have you?” Helena asked, her voice dripping with almost genuine-sounding pity, and Hunnigan laughed.  
“Actually, my life’s been a blast since I met you,” she commented over her shoulder.

“Glad to be of service,” Helena smirked and went to rinse the dishes and then dry them.  
“See? All done and it took barely five minutes, and now they won’t spend a week stinking up the dish washer,” Hunnigan then said once they’d finished.

“Indeed, I’m proud of us, we should reward ourselves by doing nothing but cuddling on the couch for the rest of the day,” Helena said and Hunnigan scoffed amusedly, nodding a little.  
“That’s not a bad idea. Shall we?” she then smiled and offered her arm to Helena, who linked hers with Hunnigan’s and they headed back into the living room.

“Oh, there’s just one more thing I gotta do,” Hunnigan then remembered when she saw her laptop, and Helena didn’t even comment or question it, it was amazing Hunnigan hadn’t come back to check on her work sooner.  
“Take your time,” she said and lay down on the couch, the armrest supporting her back so that she was half-upright. “What are you working on?” she then asked.

“I’m freelancing a little bit, helping an old college buddy of mine with an update patch to fix some runtime errors in his game,” Hunnigan explained absently. Helena nodded slowly, finding it needless to say she hadn’t really understood much of what Hunnigan had just said.

“Neeerrrd,” she teased and poked Hunnigan’s thigh with her toes.  
“An extremely talented nerd, the powers that be specifically crafted these hands to write some sublime code,” Hunnigan said, wiggling her fingers at Helena.

“Those hands are sublime at a lot of things; if hysteria were still a thing and a medical professional was required for female orgasms, you could be a very successful doctor...” Helena said, letting her voice drop into a husky murmur and Hunnigan stopped typing.

“That’s... probably the best compliment I’ve ever received, thank you!” she chuckled.  
“I meant it more like as an invitation...”

“Oh, don’t do this to me, I need to finish this so I’ll get paid and I can make a kept woman of you,” Hunnigan smirked.  
“I’d rather have you use your hands on me than be a kept woman,” Helena argued gently, offering a lopsided grin.

“Or..! You know I’m an excellent multitasker, I could do both.”  
“I’ll have you know that my pussy deserves nothing less than your full attention!” Helena scoffed and Hunnigan chortled.

“You’re right,” she said and put the laptop away, “I love you, I’m sorry about my insensitive words just now,” she then added, directing her words to Helena’s crotch.  
“You’re gonna have to do better than that,” Helena teased.

“All right, take off your pants,” Hunnigan smirked, and Helena unbuttoned them and dropped them to the floor, pausing to frown when she heard something clatter and she remembered the rings were still in her pocket.  
“Oh, no,” she mumbled and leaned over the edge of the couch and then lower to look underneath the couch, exhaling in relief when she found the ringbox with the contents still safely inside.

“What’s wrong?” Hunnigan asked and Helena sat back up.  
“Uhm... nothing, I just... I got our rings today and this really wasn’t the way I was hoping to do this, but since we’re here...” Helena trailed off a little awkwardly, sincerely wishing that Olivia was right about Hunnigan not having expected a fancier proposal than the one Helena was about to deliver, barely sitting upright and not wearing pants.

“You are the order to my chaos and the logical, sensible calm one who balances out the ridiculous hothead that I can be, and I don’t understand how I could live without that balance before you came into my life, because right now, I can’t imagine a day without you... and I really want to spend my life with you, and I hope you haven’t changed your mind about marrying me,” Helena smiled, opened the box and slid the ring onto Hunnigan’s finger.

“...is... is the fit all right?” Helena then asked quietly.

“It’s perfect.”

***


	38. Do it with a rock star

At first, Olivia had suggested they go out to a bar for a few drinks and maybe play some pool, or sing karaoke, or whatever entertainment was available, but Hunnigan brought her back to reality by reminding her that the last time they’d done that, Helena had gotten shot. Frankly, an evening at a noisy bar wasn’t what she would’ve considered very enjoyable even if there were no bad memories attached to the last time they’d gone out. So, instead, they’d decided to combine the bachelorette party and the housewarming party, and were now having a simple get-together at Helena and Hunnigan’s place.

“Sweet homeland security, what are you wearing?” Hunnigan barely stifled a laugh when she saw Helena emerge from the bedroom in the “slutty cop”-costume Olivia had chosen for her.

“Not a whole lot,” she responded, “but as Olivia pointed out, I can be the stripper at our party,” she then wiggled her eyebrow and began to sway her hips a little, taking slow steps toward Hunnigan as she did. Judging from the expression that screamed “desperately trying not to laugh” Hunnigan had, her movements weren’t quite as seductive and graceful in real life as they were in her mind.

“Yeah, I don’t know how to dance,” Helena sighed and shook her head, and Hunnigan laughed softly.  
“It’s fine, you don’t have to,” she said smiling and kissed Helena’s lips before continuing to lay out various snacks on the island in the kitchen and over the counters.

“I’m still not a hundred percent sure I like the idea of everyone coming over here,” Helena said.  
“Why not?”

“Because I intend to get drunk and then have sloppy, drunk sex with you, and I can’t do that until everyone’s gone home,” Helena smirked and Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow.  
“Drunk? Really?”

“Yeah, it’s my turn, you were drunk the last time and that was like a month ago, I think I deserve this,” Helena grinned.  
“Well, you’ll just have to control your drunken urges until we’re left alone,” Hunnigan said and Helena’s shoulders slumped a little in disappointment.

“I suppose I have no choice, but you’re not being very supportive,” she pouted.  
“I’ll be more supportive after we’re married and I’m obligated to encourage your shenanigans,” Hunnigan promised with a chuckle and went to answer the door when there was a knock.

Olivia was the first to arrive, as was to be expected. Leon and Claire weren’t too far behind, finally followed by Lucy and Sherry. The guest list really was quite short, but neither Helena or Hunnigan minded that, it was easier to have conversations when the entire house wasn’t full of people they barely knew.

“Make yourselves at home,” Helena smiled and handed out beers to those who wanted one and directed others to feel free to make themselves whatever drinks they might want.  
“Thanks!” Claire smiled as she accepted the bottle and took a sip. “Oh, and Hunnigan, thanks again for asking your mother to babysit Seeley.”

“Don’t worry about it, I bet she’ll be thanking you for letting her babysit,” Hunnigan chuckled and mixed herself a rum and coke.

“I love your vest!” Olivia complimented and held her hand on Claire’s shoulder to keep her still for a few seconds while she looked at the back of the vest. The words “Let me live” were embroidered on the leather and underneath was an image of a female warrior wielding a spear.

“Thanks! It’s from my biker days,” Claire chuckled.

“You look like you escaped from a biker gang too, Leon,” Olivia then teased the man dressed in a leather jacket with a ridiculously big skull on the back and an American flag patch stitched to the left shoulder.

“I’m just a wannabe because Claire never lets me ride her Harley,” Leon pouted.  
“That’s because you’re such a reckless driver, I can’t imagine you’d be any better on a motorcycle. It’s also why I never let you drive anywhere with Seeley in the car,” Claire quirked an eyebrow.

“Fair enough,” Leon surrendered with a smile, “being the passenger gives me a chance to vacantly stare out of the window anyway,” he then chuckled.

“Yeah, you’re the master of dramatically staring into the distance, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen you do it, and I’ve only known you for like... a day. It’s like you’re in an imaginary photoshoot in your mind,” Lucy commented.

“It’s true, you really do that,” Claire confirmed.  
“Well, the next time it happens, take a picture so I can add it to my portfolio,” Leon said, pursed his lips and squinted a little in a manner he’d seen many an underwear model do.

“Click,” Olivia said and mimed taking a photo.  
“Was there a reason we were supposed to dress up anyway?” Sherry then asked her. She’d decided to go with a simple T-shirt that had the Superman-logo on it; by now, everyone was aware of the reference and “Supergirl” had officially become her codename.

“No reason other than I just like to play dress-up and it’s more fun when I’m not the only one doing it,” Olivia shrugged.  
“And who are you supposed to be?” Hunnigan inquired and eyed Olivia from head to toe. Ironically, she didn’t look like she’d dressed up in a costume at all, she was wearing a white shirt with the collar popped and a black pinstripe jacket and pants.

“I’m you, silly, I’m even wearing my glasses,” Olivia smiled and adjusted the frames to emphasize her point.  
“Very convincing,” Lucy commented, and no one could tell from her tone of voice if she was being sarcastic or not, but knowing her, she probably was.

“All right, you guys, so... grab some drinks, grab some food, have a seat and let’s... get the party started,” Hunnigan said.

The group moved into the living room and it didn’t take long before Olivia decided to take advantage of Hunnigan’s game collection. She spotted a driving simulator and challenged Leon to a match, and he agreed. Hunnigan didn’t drive nor was she a fan of this particular genre of games; she had gotten the game for Helena after the younger woman had sold her car and practically mourned the fact that she was no longer able to just go for a drive.

“How’s your training going?” Helena asked from Lucy as she took a seat on the couch and crossed one leg over the other before drinking from her beer.  
“Fine, I guess,” Lucy shrugged and Leon snorted.

“Fine? That’s an understatement!” he said over his shoulder. “I see a lot of potential as far as your tactical thinking under pressure goes, and your physical skills are excellent despite your tiny size,” he continued and then grunted in frustration as his car spun out of control and he lost his lead.

“And she’s an excellent marksman,” Sherry added and Lucy squirmed a little, uncomfortable at being on the receiving end of such praise.  
“All right, all right, thank you both, but let’s talk about something else before this all goes to my head,” Lucy said.

“You’re supposed to pass them, not ram into their rear, what are you doing?” Claire teased Leon as he tried to catch up with Olivia’s car on the screen.  
“Jesus, woman, can you _not_ backseat drive even when it’s just a simulation?” Leon smirked at her.

“I don’t know, can you _not_ fuck up?” Claire replied.  
“Oh, burn!” Sherry burst out laughing.

After losing to Leon for the third time (despite her efforts to ram him off the road), Olivia decided it was time to quit rather than take up Leon’s offer for a rematch. Olivia then pulled out what she’d playfully begun calling the main event of the evening. On the surface, it was just a couple of papers, but she’d filled those out with questions she’d figured the right answers to with the help of the couple’s friends and family.

“Okay, so here’s how this works. I ask a question from one of you about the other, and the other answers. Every time you get one right, everyone drinks. But, for every wrong answer, the person answering will have to down their drink. Understood?” Olivia explained. Helena nodded and Hunnigan groaned a little, but agreed to play nevertheless.

“Question one. Hunnigan. What is Helena’s middle name?”  
“Kathryn.”

“Correct, everyone drink,” Olivia said, and then reached to put her hand over Lucy’s forearm to stop her from grabbing a beer. “Unless you’re underage,” she narrowed her eyes and Lucy sighed, rolled her eyes and shrugged, leaning back on the couch without a beer.

“How does Hunnigan like her steak?”  
“Trick question, she doesn’t eat meat,” Helena waggled a finger at Olivia to scold her for sneaking that in.

“What are Helena’s favorite cigarettes specifically?” she asked then.  
“What, like the brand? Uhm... Marlboro.”

“I’m gonna need you to narrow it down a bit...” Olivia said slowly.

“How the hell am I supposed to do that? I don’t know what they’re called other than the major brand name. The pack’s white, so... white?” Hunnigan frowned shrugging a little, and Olivia sucked on her teeth and made a tiny hissing sound.

“Sorry, I’m not gonna accept that completely, you’ll have to down half of your drink. The correct answer was Marlboro gold.”  
“Oh, for the love of... fine,” Hunnigan scoffed and did as she was told.

“Smoking’s bad for you anyway,” Sherry teased.  
“And criticizing my bad habits is bad for _you_ ,” Helena countered with an evil grin.  
“Burn,” Leon commented, unable to resist the urge to get back at Sherry for telling him the same a while ago.

“Helena, what’s Hunnigan’s favorite food?”  
“Me,” Helena replied without missing a beat and everyone burst out laughing.

“Well, according to her mother, it’s a childhood comfort food, fish sticks and mashed potatoes, but I’m gonna accept your answer,” Olivia chortled. “All right, next question: Hunnigan, what makes Helena cry instantly?”  
“I’m gonna say it’s a tie between stories about heroic dogs and stories about unlikely animal friendships, like that story about the baby deer and a bobcat cuddling in an office after escaping a forest fire,” Hunnigan answered confidently.

“Correct! All right, moving on before Helena start crying when she thinks about baby elephants rescuing puppies from floods...”  
“Aw, come on,” Helena interjected and exaggerated a sniffle.

“Helena. What was the name of the band Hunnigan played in when she was a teenager?” Olivia asked next and Helena stared at her blankly.  
“Band? What band?” she frowned and began emptying her bottle as per the rules. She’d never even known Hunnigan had been in a band.

“Well, my, my, my, finally something you two have never even discussed,” Claire quirked an eyebrow.  
“Yeah, obviously not,” Lucy snickered. “Dude, all you had to do was Google Jimmy,” she then rolled her eyes at Helena.

“Well, excuse me for never having felt the need to Google my fiancée,” she scoffed, “and by the way, I still totally love calling you that,” she then added to Hunnigan, and she laughed quietly before leaning to press a soft kiss onto Helena’s cheek.

“If you had bothered, you would know the band was called Flawed Heroes, and they were pretty awesome,” Lucy then said, reached to grab Hunnigan’s laptop and opened it.

“You would say that, you’re Hunnigan’s biggest fan,” Olivia smirked, but Lucy ignored her. Why argue, she wasn’t wrong. When the password prompt came up, Lucy handed the laptop to Hunnigan, expecting her to log in, but instead, Hunnigan folded her arms over her abdomen and quirked an eyebrow.

“Seriously? You think I’ll let you log in as me with full admin privileges and access to all my files?”  
“Ugh, fine, Helena, gimme your computer.”

“No, don’t,” Hunnigan shook her head.  
“Your reluctance to let me see what pops up if I Google you is too tempting,” Helena poked her tongue out at her and went to fetch her laptop from her backpack.

“Oh, come on, it can’t be that bad, we all have embarrassing baby pictures and whatnot lying around,” Claire tried comforting Hunnigan, and Leon nodded in agreement.  
“I know for a fact that our son will have a slew of those online thanks to a certain someone who can’t stop gushing about the baby in social media,” he then softly poked Claire’s side with his elbow.

“Oh, excuse me for being a proud mother,” she sniffed at him and drank from her beer bottle, and he chuckled, reaching to put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.  
“You’re excused, and I love you,” he murmured with a smile and kissed her temple.

“Wow, that’s one big hairdo,” Sherry commented at the fifteen year old Hunnigan’s extremely crimpled hair on the screen.

“Yeah, well, if you’re gonna perform ‘big hair heavy metal from the eighties’ you gotta have the hair,” Hunnigan reasoned and then groaned as she buried her face into her hand, admittedly feeling a bit embarrassed. She wondered how much effort would it take to hack YouTube and delete the videos some of her former band members had decided to upload.

“I can’t believe I was ever that young,” Hunnigan scoffed amusedly, got up and went to grab herself more to drink from the kitchen.

Helena noticed that the girl playing the guitar was Nina, and an unfamiliar kind of jealousy rippled through her. She was certain she would’ve felt that way even if Alix hadn’t disclosed what she’d known regarding Nina’s feelings for Hunnigan because the chemistry between the two was visible. There was a musical conversation happening on stage, the two of them playing off each other so effortlessly it should’ve been made illegal.

Other than the irrational jealousy, she felt envy because she’d never had the chance to know _that_ Hunnigan, the one who obviously loved playing and performing. Helena hadn’t known _that_ Hunnigan even existed. She couldn’t help but wonder how much more was there that she didn’t know.

“I had no idea you were a musician too,” Sherry said when Hunnigan returned to the living room.  
“I’m not. As far as I’m concerned, a musician is someone who writes music, I never did that, I just played. Nina was the songwriter. Well, still is as far as I know; she composes soundtracks for movies and games and writes some commercial jingles,” Hunnigan explained and Helena sighed internally.

That would be a level on which she didn’t believe she could ever truly connect with Hunnigan. Other than singing in the shower, Helena didn’t have much interest toward anything musical or playing an instrument.

 _What the hell does that even matter, it’s not like we share every other interest either, why am I making such a big deal out of this?_ she mused, already knowing the answer to her own question. The ancient reason behind anyone wanting anything they normally wouldn’t care about. She wanted it because Nina’d had it.

It didn’t matter that Hunnigan had never been aware of Nina’s alleged feelings for her (at least not according to Alix). It didn’t matter that she and Hunnigan weren’t even on speaking terms nowadays. None of the things from their past mattered, and Helena knew it was idiotic of her to feel this way, but she still envied them.

 _I’m being stupid. Really stupid,_ Helena told herself and went to grab another drink. Hunnigan frowned a little at the abrupt way she left, and followed her

“Hey. Is everything okay? Are you pissed off at me because I never told you about the band? I mean, it wasn’t a big deal, I didn’t think it was important enough to mention,” Hunnigan shrugged one shoulder and Helena smiled at her sweetly.

“Actually, I think it’s awesome that you were in a band.”  
“Oh, really?” Hunnigan scoffed amusedly and Helena nodded.

“Yep, because that means I get to do it with a rock star tonight,” Helena winked and leaned to kiss Hunnigan.

_created by[Oceanmyhope](https://oceanmyhope.tumblr.com/), view in full-size [here](https://imgur.com/1OmDLqb)._

***


	39. Ampersand

“Stop fidgeting,” Leon whispered as Helena once again tugged on her dark blue dress uniform jacket and unnecessarily straightened it up.  
“I can’t help it, I’m nervous,” Helena scoffed, barely resisting the urge to elbow him in the ribs.

In the morning, this moment had somehow felt like it was still in the distant future. Helena had visited Deborah’s grave and spent a long moment having a one-sided conversation in her mind with her sister, able to imagine precisely what Deborah would say. She’d then gone over to Hunnigan’s parents’ house where their backyard had been transformed into a wedding venue thanks to Olivia and her team of helpers (Helena had to wonder had Olivia spent time as an event planner as well in the past since she seemed to know exactly what to do), she’d put on her dress uniform and she’d been fine, not nervous at all... until now, when she was standing here next to her bestman and Olivia, who was the officiant.

“What have you got to be nervous about? I doubt Hunnigan’s gonna make a run for it,” Leon chuckled softly.  
“Well, I might start stammering or just do something else embarrassing or just mess up the ceremony in general,” Helena listed.

“If you do that, _I_ will murder you,” Olivia commented.  
“Oh, you’re so helpful, thank you! I apologize in advance for ruining _your_ wedding” Helena scoffed with a smile.

“I bet Hunnigan’s just as nervous,” Leon assured and he wasn’t wrong.

Hunnigan paced back and forth in Lucy’s room which had been designated her dressing room (while Alix had practically kicked Helena out of the house stating that it was bad luck to see the bride; it hadn’t mattered to her that Helena was a bride too).

“Enter,” she called out when there was a soft knock on the door and Lance stepped in.  
“Are you ready?”

“No!” Hunnigan squeaked. “I can’t feel my arms. Or my face.”

“Yeah, the last ten minutes before the ceremony are the worst,” Lance laughed knowingly. Hunnigan exhaled deeply and faced the mirror, once more inspecting herself before getting ready to head outside. She was wearing a deep blue strapless dress, similar to the one she’d worn in the photo Helena had discovered at the cabin and quite liked. Not too fancy and not too simple, just right in its simple elegance.

“Don’t let me trip,” Hunnigan said as she linked her arm with Lance’s.  
“Don’t worry, I gotcha, babygirl,” he promised with a smile as they headed outside.

Helena squared her shoulders and swallowed nervously when she saw Hunnigan and Lance emerge from the house.

“Breathe,” Leon whispered quietly to remind Helena of the most basic functions she suddenly seemed to have completely forgotten. She inhaled deeply and smiled at Hunnigan when they stood facing each other. Time and space suddenly felt like they were flowing differently, like everything was still and yet constantly rippling and resonating.

Olivia began the ceremony, taking a moment to welcome the guests to celebrate and witness Helena and Hunnigan’s love and devotion, but Helena could barely hear a word she was saying. She was focused on just staring into Hunnigan’s eyes, happily letting herself get lost in the blue-gray gaze, and it wasn’t until Olivia softly touched her shoulder that she woke back to reality. Olivia instructed her to put the ring on Hunnigan’s finger, and she did so.

“Do you Helena Kathryn Harper take Ingrid James Hunnigan to be your spouse for life? Do you promise to always be there to support her, to protect her, and share with her the times of joy as well of sorrow? Do you promise to love her completely and unconditionally for as long as you both shall live?”

“I do,” Helena smiled. Hunnigan then put the ring on Helena’s finger and repeated the vow.

“By the powers vested in me by the District of Columbia, I am privileged to pronounce you married, you may now kiss your wife,” Olivia declared happily.

_art commissioned from[Ladyreddarkness](http://ladyreddarkness.tumblr.com/)_

* * *

“Wait... is that..?” Helena frowned when they were waiting for Lucy to bring around the getaway car after they’d posed for the wedding photographer (who, of course, was also none other than Olivia herself).

“You betcha,” Lance smiled happily when the familiar rumble of Helena’s -67 Impala could be heard and the black car appeared from behind the corner, only now it had been given a proper polish and the hood had been decorated with a floral wreath and a sign saying “Just married”.

“Ellie!”  
“You’ve named your car Ellie?” Olivia quirked an eyebrow and Helena rolled her eyes.

“No, my dad named it after my mom, so shush,” she said and turned her attention to Lance then.  
“Did you plan this all along?” she asked him and he nodded, pleased that he’d managed to surprise her.

“I told you, a -67 Impala is never ‘just a car’, especially if it’s named after your mother, I couldn’t let you sell it, so I figured this would do as a wedding present,” he said.  
“Thank you!” Helena breathed and went to hug the man tightly.

“You’re welcome,” he laughed gently. “Now, get going, you two! Liv’s gonna knock you ‘til next Tuesday if you’re late for your reception,” he then said.

The couple did as they were told and headed home to change into something less fancy and more comfortable to wear for the reception.

“Is it weird that I kind of don’t remember almost anything of the ceremony?” Hunnigan asked when Helena unzipped her.  
“Oh, thank goodness you have that too, I thought it was just me,” Helena exhaled in genuine relief as Hunnigan shrugged herself out from her dress and went to hang it in the closet.

“Let’s not tell Olivia, she’ll murder us,” she said as she moved to stand behind Helena and went to put her arms around her waist. Helena turned to look at her over her shoulder and quirked an eyebrow.  
“Excuse me, I’m kind of topless here.”

“I know, and the funny thing is, I totally miss the sight of you in your dress uniform. I had no idea how amazing you look in it,” Hunnigan murmured into Helena’s ear.  
“I had no idea you were into uniforms, but then again, who isn’t?” Helena said and closed her eyes, exhaling deeply in pleasure when Hunnigan softly bit her earlobe.

“Naw, it’s not the uniform, it’s you. You wear it very well.”  
“I can say the same about you and that dress, or basically anything blue. You should totally ditch all the gray suits,” Helena said.

“It’s adorable you think I choose to wear those. There is a dress code in place at agency, you know,” Hunnigan remarked and Helena frowned deeply as she undid her belt.  
“You’re making that up, because I distinctly remember once walking into the office and seeing Olivia in pink pajama pants.”

“Yes, but she was wearing a suit jacket, and since the agents seeing her only saw what is above her shoulders, it wasn’t a problem. Basically, it doesn’t matter as long as the F.O.S. agent isn’t wearing anything that might distract the agents.”

“You mean the male agents getting distracted by a hint of cleavage,” Helena rolled her eyes. “How incredibly sexist.”  
“Yeah, well, guys can go topless and no one bats an eye; you try doing it and you’ll cause traffic accidents,” Hunnigan smirked, peppered the side of Helena’s neck with tiny kisses and went to get dressed.

“Correction, the idiot staring at my titties is the one causing the accidents, not me,” Helena shook her head and went to put her uniform away before also changing into something more comfortable. She zipped up her slacks and shrugged on her suit jacket after buttoning up the black collared shirt.

“Since we’re sort of on the topic of ancient gender roles and the stereotypes associated with them... would you do the honors?” she then grinned and held up the end of the red bow tie she had wrapped loosely around her neck, implying she needed her wife to tie it for her like husbands generally did, at least according to the old stories she was familiar with.

“What makes you think I’m ‘the wife’?” Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow, but went to Helena and began to tie the bowtie for her regardless.  
“What makes you react like being the wife would be a bad thing?” Helena countered.

“The idea that a wife is usually someone who waits at home with a rolling pin while the husband gets to have all the fun,” Hunnigan said and playfully yanked on the bowtie unnecessarily hard and Helena faked a coughing fit.

“Well, actually, if we’d need to fit ourselves to old gender roles, you’d definitely be the husband. You make more money, you’re more decisive, I’m the one who does the laundry and irons your shirts, and on top of it all... you’re taller,” Helena grinned, and Hunnigan laughed softly.

“You agreed to the deal; you iron, I do the dusting and the dishes,” Hunnigan reminded her and Helena leaned to kiss her deeply.  
“And for the record, I love being your wife,” Helena said after breaking the kiss slowly, and Hunnigan smiled.

“I know exactly how you feel, because I love being your wife,” she replied.

* * *

It was getting closer to on one in the morning when the party began to slowly wind down and the few guests that there had been were getting ready to head home. Once everyone had gone and said good night to Lance and Alix, Helena and Hunnigan exited the house with Olivia, and Lucy who had agreed to being the designated driver.

“Hang on a sec, I need a smoke break,” Helena said as they stood in the driveway, the evening breeze cooling the late May night. Lucy shrugged and decided to light up as well. Hunnigan sighed a little at that; apparently the bad habid had come to stay. She mentally reminded herself that Lucy was an adult and entitled to do as she pleased, and that scolding her would be stupid and useless.

“Olivia, I can’t even begin to thank you for everything you did for us. You practically put all of this together all by yourself, and I honestly wouldn’t have even known where to begin, and I am so happy and so damn lucky and grateful that you were here,” Hunnigan then told her, firmly gripping Olivia’s shoulders, hoping her touch could convey how genuinely grateful she was if her words failed.

“Oh, Hunnibear,” Olivia sighed happily and leaned to hug her tightly. She had gotten a bit tipsy during the party, but in her defense, she wasn’t the only one.  
“I’m glad you let me do this!” she then chuckled as she pulled back.

“No, Liv, seriously, I owe you like... Helena, what was it that you said that time you saved my hide thanks to Olivia’s advice?” Hunnigan asked, referring to the time she’d been kidnapped by Jenova, and then found thanks to Olivia’s efforts at tracking her down.

“I owe Olivia a liquor store worth of drinks.”  
“Yeah, that!”

“No, really, it’s fine!” Olivia laughed. “Look... I’m thirty-two years old and live with a cat which is a nice way of saying that my own love life is in the shitter. And quite frankly, your romance is the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning, so... thank _you_!” she then said, reaching to put her arms around Helena and Hunnigan’s shoulders and pulled them closer.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Lucy frowned a little and Olivia burst out laughing.  
“Wow, I must come across as really desperate if _you_ of all people think I’m not okay.”

“All right, forget it, I was just trying to be nice, you know, like normal people are, but I forgot you don’t think I’m normal,” Lucy rolled her eyes, her icy tone doing nothing to hide the genuine hurt behind it.  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m woman enough to admit I misjudged you, and I apologize for that,” Olivia said, turning to Lucy and gripping her forearms.

“...okay,” Lucy shrugged and put out her cigarette.  
“Ooh-kay! Come on now, Luce. These two have a wedding night to get to,” Olivia then grinned, and they all got into the car.

* * *

Helena undressed, leaving behind a trail of clothes on the floor as she walked upstairs and into the bedroom. She slumped onto the bed and exhaled deeply.

“Hunnigan..?” she muttered into the pillow.  
“You know, we’re married now, I think we should be on a first name-basis,” she pointed out with a chuckle as she undressed, but unlike Helena, the actually bothered to neatly fold her clothes onto to a chair.

“I don’t know, calling you Ingrid just doesn’t feel natural. You don’t look like an Ingrid,” Helena said.  
“I agree. To me, Ingrid is a name some Nordic ice queen should have. I hardly look like one, now do I?” Hunnigan chuckled and Helena turned to lay on her back, crossing one arm under her head.

“Yeah, a flawless cappuchino-skin fit for a South American goddess doesn’t fit the mental image one gets of someone named Ingrid,” she teased. Honestly, before she'd ever met Hunnigan, she'd expected her to be considerably older, somewhat matronly. Admittedly, Hunnigan could be a bit staid most of the time, but that was what made the times she was the daring one all the more surprising. Helena knew she still had a lot to learn about Ingrid Hunnigan before she could honestly say she'd even scratched the surface, and she loved that about her and their relationship.

“You jest, but you have no idea how many times people have outright chosen not to believe me when I’ve told them that no, I do not speak Spanish despite my skin tone,” Hunnigan rolled her eyes. “I’m fluent in Russian and French, though,” she added and got into bed as well.

“If you don’t like your name then why not change it?”  
“It’s not that I don’t like it, I just don’t think it fits me personally. But I don’t want to change it because it’s important to my mom, it was her mother’s name.”

“And let me guess, James was her father’s name,” Helena grinned.  
“It was.”

“Oh. I thought I was joking.”  
“I know,” Hunnigan chuckled. “I’m guessing that... since my parents couldn’t have a child of their own, they decided I would carry on the family names... which is also why I won’t change my name to Harper even though we are married,” she then said.

“Hey, your dad said he wouldn’t approve you changing your last name, so that was settled long time ago... and honestly, I wouldn’t have asked you to take my name even if Lance hadn’t said anything.”  
“So, you wanna take mine?” Hunnigan said, and while she obviously had made the comment in jest, Helena offered a rueful chuckle, her somewhat sad tone managing to take Hunnigan by surprise.

“Actually, I'm not against the idea of taking your name... but, the thing is... I’m the last of my kind,” Helena said and raised her arm, silently inviting Hunnigan to rest her head on her shoulder and she moved to snuggle into the familiar comforting hold in the sweetheart’s cradle, a position they usually slept in.

“I mean, I know I’m not the last Harper of the world, duh... but I am the last of this particular bloodline, you know?”  
“I know how you feel, believe me. Or, well, I have no idea if I’m the last or if I have a a lot of siblings out there I just don’t know about, but as far as I know... Sorry, I know it’s not the same, but it’s... something.”

“No, I get it. I guess in a way, we’re both the last of our kind,” Helena shrugged one shoulder a little, the gesture intended as nonchalant being anything but. Hunnigan tightened her hold on Helena and slowly brought her hand to cup Helena’s face, gently urging her to turn to look at her.

“But...” Hunnigan whispered, needing a long moment to arrange her words before speaking. Helena didn’t rush her.  
“What if I told you that I know a way?”

“A way to where?” Helena frowned and Hunnigan chuckled a little, shaking her head.  
“Not where. How.”

“You have officially lost me.”

Hunnigan rose to rest her weight on her forearm and turned to look at Helena, the seriousness of her expression making Helena’s frown grow even deeper.

“I know a way how neither one of us has to be the last one of our line. I, uh... well, my mom knows a lot of scientist because of her work, and because of her personal interest toward reproductive science, she’s well informed about any... advances made in that field,” Hunnigan began and Helena narrowed her eyes a little as she considered this.

“Go on,” she mumbled.

“And, I’ve had time to think about everything we’ve discussed regarding having children, and... the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve realized that I do want a family. I just never bothered considering it seriously, because I’d never met anyone I would’ve wanted to have a child with, but then you came along, and I...”

“Well, yeah, but even so, it’s not possi—”

“It is, that’s what I was saying,” Hunnigan interrupted quietly, “I know a way how we could have a child, a child that would be biologically and genetically yours and mine. Well, in theory anyway...” she trailed off and Helena sat up, turning to face Hunnigan.

“...how?”

“Stem cells. Theoretically, we could take stem cells from the ‘father’, namely you or I depending on which one of us would carry the child... convert them into sperm and use that to fertilize an egg... and voilá, we’d have a daughter who is literally both of ours,” Hunnigan explained briefly and Helena blinked slowly as she tried to process the information.

“I didn’t say anything sooner, and I didn’t mean to say anything now, because I know you’re Catholic and as far as I know, ‘stem cells’ are a curse word for you guys, and this _is_ all still purely theoretical, it’s all only recently been approved for human testing, but...”

“Okay, look, I’m... I... yes, Catholic, but... I don’t... I mean...” Helena stammered and paused for a moment to inhale and exhale deeply when she realized she’d suddenly turned into a babbling idiot and Hunnigan chuckled a little.

“All right, well... bottom line: there is a way, but no one has ever done it before, meaning we have no idea how it would turn out in the end, we could end up with a ton of miscarriages or a child with some unimaginable medical condition and the chances of getting hurt on so many levels are very real, but... I guess there are no guarantees the natural way either, right?”

“Right,” Helena nodded, still a bit dumbstruck by the information.  
“Mom’s colleague works on reproductive science, and her team is basically looking for couples who’d be interested in taking part in the trial run. So...” she trailed off slowly.

“Are you..?” Helena swallowed hard at the mere implication and Hunnigan smiled, kissed her lips gently and rested her forehead against Helena’s for a long moment before pulling back a little to be able to look into her eyes.

“I want to have your baby.”

***


	40. Tempest

Helena woke up in a giddy haze, realizing her face hurt from all the smiling as she smiled again when she turned to look at Hunnigan. She lay on her side, her back toward Helena, still fast asleep. Helena reached to softly and slowly run her fingertips over the raised scar tissue trailing from Hunnigan’s shoulder blade down her back. Sliding her hand over Hunnigan’s hip, Helena scooted closer, gently tightening her hold on Hunnigan as she pressed herself against the taller woman’s back and nuzzled the nape of her neck.

 _Oh, God, I love her so much,_ Helena mused happily.

“Good morning, Missus Harper,” Hunnigan mumbled sleepily, finding Helena’s hand and interlacing her fingers with hers.  
“And a very good morning to you, Missus Hunnigan,” Helena whispered and kissed the side of Hunnigan’s neck before nuzzling into it.

They stayed still like that for a long moment before Hunnigan finally turned to face Helena and sleepily wrapped her arms around Helena’s shoulders, pulling her closer.  
“I can feel your pulse in my nose,” Helena said and Hunnigan burst out laughing.

“What? How?” she asked as she pulled back a little.

“The tip of my nose was in this spot and I can feel your heartbeat there,” Helena elaborated, pressing the tip of her index finger softly against the gentle hollow between Hunnigan’s collarbones. She didn’t comment, instead she leaned to kiss Helena’s forehead before resting her own against it.

“Hey, um... about what you said last night, about having kids. Did you really mean it?” Helena inquired somewhat awkwardly. She hoped Hunnigan had meant it, but at the same time, she accepted that perhaps it had been something she’d blurted out because she’d been a bit tipsy and because she’d gotten kind of swept away in everything that had happened that day. After all, Hunnigan had said it hadn’t been her intention to say anything about it to Helena.

“I know how important it is to you and I wouldn’t get your hopes up unnecessarily. I would never have said anything like that if I genuinely didn’t mean it, so you know I meant it. I want to have your baby,” Hunnigan assured and Helena let out a breath she’d been nervously holding while waiting for Hunnigan to answer.

“Do you think it’s possible to die from happiness? Because I feel like I might spontaneously explode or something because I’m so ridiculously happy right now,” Helena said and Hunnigan chuckled quietly, kissed Helena’s lips deeply and shrugged one shoulder then.

“I don’t know, but try to stay in one piece,” she mumbled into the kiss with a smile.  
“So, what do you want to do for our honeymoon?” Helena then asked and Hunnigan pursed her lips as she thought about it.

“Taking into consideration that we don’t have much excess funds at our disposal at the moment... I think we’re gonna have to settle for a long weekend somewhere relatively nearby. I mean, if we could afford it, I’d want to go to like... South Africa or something.”

“Really? That sounds like a trip worth taking, we should start saving up.”

“Well, honestly, anywhere will be fine. I’ve never been much anywhere... other than Canada and Ireland, but even then, those are the places I’ve visited because my parents took me. I haven’t had a chance to... okay, I’ve had the chance, but I haven’t had anyone to travel with, and the idea of traveling alone is scary.”

Helena smiled a little. She couldn’t say she could relate because she’d had to travel a lot in her life. Mostly it had been because of her work; a protective agent working for the C.I.A. went where the asset needing protection happened to be. The D.S.O.’s jurisdiction rarely reached beyond the U.S. borders (but there were exceptions, like her trip to China with Leon, but honestly, that had been cheating; technically she and Leon had been dead at the time and had even less authority to make arrests or investigate than they did while alive and well within their juristiction), meaning she was less likely to get deployed internationally. That was one of the main reasons she’d applied for the job in the first place; she’d wanted to spend more time home and be watching over her sister.

“Well, once we can afford it, I’ll go with you wherever you want to go,” Helena promised.

“You know where I just realized we should go for our so-called honeymoon though?” Hunnigan then said and Helena quirked an eyebrow at the tiny smirk on her face. She took a moment to think about it and chuckled when she figured it out.

“A somewhat crummy motel room in a little town called Sakana.”  
“Yes, you got it!” Hunnigan laughed.

“It’s actually not a bad idea, I mean the town was nice and I’m sure the woods are too if you feel like going hiking.”  
“Oh, hell no,” Hunnigan rolled her eyes at that and Helena chuckled.

“Well, either way, I really like that idea, we should do it,” she smiled and began to sat up slowly, but Hunnigan gripped her arm softly.  
“Where are you going?”

“I was gonna hop into the shower.”  
“I’m not done dirtying you up yet,” Hunnigan grinned and tugged on Helena.

“Oh, really?” she quirked an eyebrow and eased into the movement, Hunnigan wrapping her legs around Helena’s waist and slipping her arms over her shoulders.  
“Yeah, really,” she replied and pulled Helena into a kiss.

* * *

The woman at the reception visibly sighed when she recognized Hunnigan and Helena. Apparently, they’d made an everlasting impression. Unlike the first time, there was no need for arguments, they’d reserved the same room even if it was a poor decision financially; with the surcharge added to the fee, it would’ve cost less to book a room for two. But it wouldn’t have been the same. Room 23 was the room where they’d stayed the first time Hunnigan had tagged along during Helena’s mission. It was also where they’d spent their first Christmas together after Hunnigan had “ran away” and Helena had gone looking for her.

In a way, it all felt like it had happened such a long time ago, but now that she thought about it, Hunnigan realized everything had happened very quickly. The incident in Sakana had taken place in late-August of 2013, and it was now only May of the next year. A part of her couldn’t even believe the things she’d gone through since then... let alone the fact that she’d fallen in love with Helena, and married her, all in less than a year. If someone had told her a few months ago that all this would happen, she would’ve had the person saying such crazy shit taken into custody.

“What?” Helena asked.  
“What?” Hunnigan frowned.

“You were staring at me.”  
“I was just hoping you brought your own toothbrush this time,” Hunnigan smirked and Helena laughed.

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. I’m all about traditions, you know,” she smirked as she carelessly tossed her backpack onto the chair by the window.  
“Wanna go get something to eat?” she then smiled.

“I would love to,” Hunnigan nodded and they headed outside.

As they walked toward the diner, Helena reached to put her arm around Hunnigan’s waist, linking her thumb with the beltloop of the taller woman’s jeans. Hunnigan settled into the same pace as Helena (despite it meaning she had to take somewhat awkward shorter steps) and pressed their sides together as they walked, ignoring the curious looks they got from the few locals that passed them by. Granted, neither of them could tell were they getting the looks because of their blatant public display of affection or because they were not from around here. Possibly both.

“Hey, it’s you guys!” the young woman behind the counter exclaimed happily when Helena and Hunnigan entered the diner.

“And it’s you, I used to call you Blue in my mind, because I didn’t know your name, but that doesn’t seem to apply anymore,” Helena chuckled at the young woman whose hair had been blue the last time, now it was a shade of bright magenta.

“The name’s Aria and I refused to pay for a name tag,” she smirked. She stayed at her post for a while longer, giving Helena and Hunnigan a chance to find a booth and browse the menu.

“So, what do people around here do for fun?” Helena then inquired from Aria after placing her order –a bacon cheeseburger like she recalled having the last time.  
“Aside from getting drunk and singing bad karaoke... not a whole lot,” Aria chuckled and then proceeded to write down Hunnigan’s order before delivering them to the cook.

“Ah, small-town America, doesn’t get better than that, does it?” Hunnigan chuckled.  
“Well, how about that then, sound like a plan?” Helena smiled.

“I suppose I should enjoy being able to get drunk whenever I want before we have a baby,” she mused, pursing her lips.  
“That’s the spirit,” Helena laughed softly. “Speaking of the baby...” she then trailed off and paused to take a sip of her beer.

“...was I correct in assuming that you’d be the birthmother?” she then finished her sentence a little nervously, and Hunnigan nodded.

“That’s what I’d thought. I mean, logically thinking, you would probably be a better choice because you’re younger and don’t have any medical conditions, but at the time... you’re a field agent and if you got pregnant, you’d have to be on furlough for pretty much the entire pregnancy, and I hate to say it, but you being on unpaid furlough for months is not something we can really afford,” Hunnigan said.

“I could get a temporary job I could do despite being pregnant.”  
“Good luck with that, especially since it says clearly on your contract with the D.S.O. that you’re not allowed to have another job unless your contract with the agency is terminated first.”

“What? What the hell kind of a shit deal is that?” Helena scoffed.  
“I don’t know, but it’s there.”

“So, wait, then, why were you allowed to freelance for your friend?”  
“Because I was never officially employed by him, I was... volunteering, and he was so grateful that he made a... donation,” Hunnigan said.

“Riiighhht...”  
“It’s a gray area, don’t judge, that paid for May’s mortgage,” Hunnigan smirked.

“Well, then... selling handjobs on Craigslist isn’t really a job, would I be allowed to do that?” Helena vexed.

“Technically, yes, but I would have some objections,” Hunnigan blew a raspberry. Aria came over with their meals and they thanked her, and Hunnigan took a moment to order herself a beer as well since this was apparently how the evening would be spent. Aria returned shortly with the pint before heading back to the other customers.

“Cheers,” Hunnigan smiled and clinked her pint against Helena’s before taking a sip and then focusing on her meal.  
“So, are you saying you’d want to be the birthmother?” Hunnigan then asked, returning them back to the conversation they’d been having before.

“What? Oh, no! I was just checking to make sure I’d understood how you’d meant it,” Helena shook her head and Hunnigan chuckled softly.  
“Okay.”

“But, since we brushed the subject of money, how are we gonna be able to afford the, um... procedure? I mean, anything to do with medical procedures has to be expensive,” Helena muttered before biting into her burger.  
“Normally, yes, but since we’re basically volunteering to be their guinea pigs, it’s more or less free,” Hunnigan said and Helena narrowed her eyes a little.

“Sounds a bit too good to be true if you ask me, what’s the catch?” she asked inbetween bites. She refused to believe there wouldn’t be some major strings attached in something as groundbreaking and controversial as this, and she was right to do so.

“I’m not sure, but if it were me, I’d reserve the right to publish scientific articles about my work,” Hunnigan said, shrugging one shoulder a little.

“Yeah, and who knows what else,” Helena grumbled, and Hunnigan frowned.  
“If you don’t want to do it, we don’t have to. We could use a donor or just not do it at all, I’m just saying that...”

“No, no, don’t,” Helena shook her head and held her hand up a little, “I didn’t mean it like that. Of course I want to do it, I just need to be sure we’re aware of all the details and read the fine print...”  
“I always do,” Hunnigan interjected in a mutter.

“...because I don’t want there to be any chance that the scientists could just decide to take our baby and experiment on her or whatever, you know?” Helena finished her sentence, and Hunnigan exhaled deeply.  
“I know, _I know_ , which is why I’m not signing anything before I’ve had a lawyer check it out, you need to trust me more on these things,” she said and Helena made an awkward noise.

“I’m sorry, when it comes to dealing with all this... adult stuff, you’re the one who knows everything, and I shouldn't keep forgetting that,” she admitted and Hunnigan laughed softly.

* * *

Aria had been right, the karaoke was terrible, but then again, Hunnigan’s expectations were never very high when it came to that questionable form of performance, even if the karaoke at this particular joint happened to be live karaoke, meaning there was an actual band playing. Then again, at least everyone seemed to be having a good time despite the songs being slaughtered on stage, so that was something. And, the pub itself was a pleasant one.

It was the old-fashioned kind with good atmosphere and intentionally worn furnishings and decor, none of that neon-light madness and music so loud you couldn’t have a conversation.

“Oh, look,” Helena said when she noticed a familiar face on stage. Aria was apparently the house band’s drummer.

“Poor kid if she has to listen to this wailing on a regular basis,” Hunnigan chuckled as she and Helena made their way over to a small corner table with their drinks. Both of them were uncomfortably aware of the curious stares they were receiving.

“You know, I felt somewhat less uncomfortable the last time I was here,” Hunnigan muttered, and Helena frowned a little before she realized Hunnigan was referring to when they’d been here for the first time and Hunnigan had gotten drunk with her “new friends”.

“Why is that?”  
“Because the attention didn’t bother me back then, on the contrary; I was almost flattered.”

“So, why’s that different now?” Helena smirked, and Hunnigan rolled her eyes at Helena’s obvious fishing.  
“Because you’re here and everyone’s looking at you because you’re the prettier one,” she poked her tongue out at Helena.

“You ridiculous woman,” Helena said before Hunnigan had even managed to finish her sentence, and leaned over the table to catch Hunnigan’s lips into a deep kiss.  
“...and now everyone’s staring at us because up until now, they didn’t know lesbians are real,” Hunnigan whispered after breaking the kiss and Helena burst out laughing.

“And we’re probably gonna get beaten up later, or at the very least driven out of town by the locals wielding pitchforks and torches.”  
“And here I was expecting the worst outcome to be guys hitting on us and asking for a threesome,” Hunnigan scoffed, not realizing her prediction was about to come true.

“Oh, for the love of God,” she grumbled when a young man took it upon himself to grab a chair and drag it over to Helena and Hunnigan’s table, where he took a seat at.  
“Hello, ladies.”

“I don’t recall either one of us inviting you to take a seat,” Hunnigan pointed out, already knowing it would probably be pointless. When had guys like that ever taken no for an answer before getting kneed in the groin?  
“Oh, don’t be so uptight, I’m just looking to get friendly,” he smiled.

“We’ve got enough friends, thanks. Go away,” Helena said, and Hunnigan could tell she was having a hard time keeping herself from just throwing the guy across the room.

“Come on, sweetheart, I’m a very generous friend to—” he began saying and reached to grip Helena’s shoulder, and before he had a chance to finish what he’d been saying and before Helena had a chance to react, Hunnigan stood up and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him to his feet.

“Keep your hands off my wife, you fucking shitstain,” she growled and shoved him back. He lost his balance and stumbled backward, falling flat on his ass in the middle of the almost empty dance floor.  
“We’re going, we’re going,” Helena told the bouncer who’d walked up to them.

“What, we’re leaving? That’s bullshit, he’s the one who—”  
“Come on, let’s go,” Helena said and gently tugged on Hunnigan, who gave in and followed.

“What was that all about?” Hunnigan frowned once they were outside and walking back toward the motel.  
“I could ask you the same thing...”

“You’re just upset because I got to rough him up and you didn’t,” Hunnigan smirked, and Helena chuckled.  
“Well, you’re not wrong, but also... that’s not like you.”

“You may very well think that only because up until now, you’ve always been the protective one and I’ve been the one who apparently can’t take care of herself, and that’s not how it is,” Hunnigan shrugged and Helena nodded slowly.

This wasn’t really about her, or about them. This was about Michael. What he’d done had taken away Hunnigan’s faith in herself being able to get out of a situation like that, to take care of herself. Apparently, her instinct now was to over react rather than not react at all.

“Hey,” Helena said softly to break the silence that had followed them all the way from the bar to the motel room.  
“What?” Hunnigan asked after closing the door behind them and kicking off her shoes.

“Thanks for defending my honor.”

“Yeah, right,” Hunnigan laughed and put her glasses onto the table before running her hand over her face tiredly. Helena reached to grip her wrist gently and kissed her palm before leaning to press herself against Hunnigan, wrapping her arms around Hunnigan’s waist.

“No, I mean it, I really appreciated it, because you’re right, usually I’m the one who flies off the handle and starts beating people up, it was fun being the calm one for a change,” she grinned.  
“I’ll try not to make a habit out of it, because frankly, in hindsight...” Hunnigan trailed off, sighing deeply.

“I know, and I get it. I really do,” Helena then said more seriously. “However... I won’t lie, having you rough someone up just because they touched my shoulder was kind of hot.”  
“Hah! Careful, I don’t want this to turn into a fetish,” Hunnigan smirked and began to move toward the bed, Helena following her.

“You’re my fetish,” Helena shrugged as Hunnigan got in bed and began to undress.  
“Well, what are you waiting for, I’m right here?” she grinned as she tossed her clothing aside, one piece at a time.

“Woo-hoo, marital sex!” Helena yelled happily and jumped into the bed.

***


	41. Save tonight

Helena hadn’t expected there to be quite this much of awkward silence during this visit, but here they were. Hunnigan’s lawyer was carefully reading through the paperwork as Helena and Hunnigan, and the woman in charge of the project, doctor Traynor, waited.

“So... in a nutshell...” Helena began in a hushed tone as so not to disturb the lawyer, but apparently she wasn’t paying attention to what was happening around her.

“In a nutshell, the paperwork states that we have the right to do some standard tests to determine the child’s growing up normally. And, also I reserve the right to write and publish a paper or two based on the experiment and the science behind it. Nothing invasive, obviously, and naturally, your identities as well as the child’s will be kept out from whatever we might publish, we’re only interested in the science,” doctor Traynor explained and sipped her coffee.

“I don’t know, to me it sounds like there’ll be quite a few strings attached,” Helena said, leaning back in her chair and crossing one leg over the other. Doctor Traynor smiled.  
“Surely you understand why we must insist on the right to monitor the child’s development? But it’s not like we’d want you to bring her in to be a lab rat once a month or something like that.”

“Yeah, I can see that. You merely want to be in charge of her medical care,” Helena narrowed her eyes.  
“I’d think you’d agree that a pediatrician who is familiar with the research would be the most sensible choice.”

“Don’t be so suspicious, at least not until you have a reason to be,” Hunnigan muttered to her, and then turned her attention to her lawyer when she finally flipped the last page over the paperwork and sat up straight.  
“It’s legit,” she confirmed and gave the contract to Hunnigan.

“See?” Hunnigan said and felt her heart leap a little at Helena’s beauty when the younger woman’s entire being lit up with a brilliant, happy smile. It seemed that she’d been dampening her enthusiasm and expecting a disappointment, and only now dared to hope.

“Well, then, shall we proceed with the experiment?” doctor Traynor asked.  
“You make it sound so clinical,” Helena scoffed.

“It is clinical,” the doctor laughed. “Once we have converted your stem cells and collected Ingrid’s eggs, we’ll unite them in vitro. Sorry, ladies, no turkey basters for you.”  
“Okay, so... when do we get started? And how?” Hunnigan asked.

“We could get started as early as tomorrow if you’re ready,” Traynor said and turned her attention to Helena. “We’d start by collecting the stem cells from your bone marrow or your blood stream.”  
“Which way has a shorter recovery period?” Helena asked, really wanting to know which way would hurt less, but not wanting to say it out loud.

“The one where the cells are harvested from the blood stream.”  
“Then... that one.”

“All right. So, we’ll get you started on hematopoietic growth factor drug...”  
“I’m not even going to pretend I understood that,” Helena shook her head and the doctor chuckled.

“Not a lot of people do. It’s a colony-stimulating factor drug, it makes your bone marrow create excessive stem cells and release them into the blood stream. You’ll get a few shots over the course of a couple of days prior to the harvesting.”

“I’m assuming there’ll be side-effects,” Helena muttered.

“Plainly put, your bones and muscles are going to ache and you might feel a little bit feverish, but it should be all manageable. Frankly, from what I’ve heard, the hardest part of having your stem cells collected is the actual harvesting process,” Traynor said and Helena frowned.

“Why is that? What happens then?”  
“You have to lay still for about six hours,” the doctor smirked.

“As for you, you’ll undergo the procedures one usually would while trying to conceive in vitro, meaning you’ll get fertility shots, then we harvest the eggs and once Helena’s stem cells have been converted, we’ll inject the sperm into the eggs, let them divide and finally, screen the emryos for any disabilities before trasnferring the desired amount of them into your uterus,” Traynor then explained to Hunnigan.

“You were right, that does sound very clinical,” Hunnigan told Helena and she nodded.  
“Yeah, no romance whatsoever,” she chuckled.

“Obviously, there are risks, like with every medical procedure,” Traynor continued explaining, ignoring the couple’s humor.  
“Yeah, I... we’re aware, no need to list everything, I might change my mind if you did,” Hunnigan said, offering a rueful half-smile.

“Well... I’ll give you the literature anyway. So, read it, think about it, and give me a call when you’ve decided,” Traynor said.

* * *

“It says here that the hormonal injections are likely to make me super horny,” Hunnigan called out to Helena. She lay on the couch, her legs dangling over the armrest as she read the pamphlets Traynor had given them.

“Oh, really? We’d better hope that I won’t—” Helena began to say through the slightly open window as she stood on the patio in the backyard, smoking, but Hunnigan interrupted her by pressing her foot against the window and shoving it shut.

“...don’t say it!” she yelled.  
“...get deployed,” Helena finished her sentence slowly, put her cigarette out and stepped into the house.

“And there, you said it,” Hunnigan sighed in exasperation.  
“What’s the problem?”

“You jinxed us, now it’s totally gonna happen.”

“You’re certain that me saying something out loud will make it come true and despite this ridiculous superstition, you have the audacity to mock me for believing in God? Really, Ingrid, really?” Helena chuckled and let her arms wrap around Hunnigan’s waist and kissed her softly.

“Speaking of your religion, I’m assuming you’re going to want to have the baby baptized,” Hunnigan then said and sat on the couch, Helena taking a seat next to her.  
“Indeed, and I’m assuming you are against the idea,” Helena smirked.

“Actually, no. I know it’s important to you, and the fact that I don’t share your faith is my personal choice... and I don’t want to make that choice for our daughter and rob her of the chance to decide for herself when she’s old enough,” Hunnigan said, surprising Helena with her statement.

“But, finding someone to baptize a lesbian couple's petri dish baby is up to you,” Hunnigan then teased, and Helena laughed, put her arm around Hunnigan’s shoulders and pulled her closer.  
“That actually won’t be a problem, because contrary to the popular belief, the Catholic church has nothing against homosexuals.”

“Oh, really?” Hunnigan snorted in disbelief.  
“It’s true, it’s the gay sex that’s the problem.”

“So, as long as you’re celibate everything’s just fine and dandy?”  
“Exactly,” Helena nodded, “because sex without the possibility of procreating is a meaningless indulgence.”

“I hate sounding like a broken record, but that’s ridiculous,” Hunnigan rolled her eyes. “Wait, did you just call our sex life meaningless?” she then glared at her wife.

“I didn’t, the Catholic church did!” Helena defended herself. “And for the record, I don’t agree with that at all because making love to you and sharing myself with you in that way is definitely the closest I’ll get to heaven without dying, so there’s no way I’d ever call it a meaningless indulgence,” she then added softly and turned to kiss Hunnigan gently.

“You are such a sweet-talker,” she muttered into the kiss.  
“I have my moments,” Helena smiled. “So, speaking of baptism, do you have any names ready?” she then asked and Hunnigan chortled a little.

“Honey, we’ve only just now decided to even try for a baby, don’t you think coming up with names is a bit premature?”  
“Not at all. Didn’t you ever spend any time picking out names for your future children when you were a kid?” Helena quirked an eyebrow.

“I was busy thinking of names for all the new planets, stars and moons I was going to discover,” Hunnigan chuckled. “But, I have been thinking that I would want the baby to have my last name. If you’re okay with that?”

“Or... we could hyphenate.”  
“Or... what if Harper was her middle name?”

“I knew you’d secretly thought about this,” Helena smirked and Hunnigan grinned, shrugging one shoulder.  
“Maybe just a little.”

* * *

Hunnigan glanced at her watch once again and Olivia quirked an eyebrow at that. It was the third time Hunnigan had done it within the past ten minutes, she acted like she had somewhere else to be.

“Yes, I’m aware of that fact that there are reports of active Jenova-cells in the country and abroad, but so far we have no reason to believe they are armed with biological weapons,” Hunnigan told director Kosmin.

She had already spent months bringing him up to speed about everything that was done at the agency and how things were done, and she’d hoped that would be enough and that Kosmin would just focus on his own territory, but apparently, he was the kind of a guy who had to stick his nose into everything. At first, Hunnigan had welcomed his interest, but now it was getting frustrating. He had no experience in handling cases like this, but he sure had a lot of ideas... unfortunately, most of them useless, because he still didn’t fully understand how the D.S.O. worked.

“What about the other active environmentalist-groups? Should we keep an eye on them?” he asked and Hunnigan inhaled deeply, held it in for a while, mentally counting to ten before blowing the breath out as she forced herself to remain calm.

“As I’ve said, we’re not equipped to do that, we barely have the resources to handle legitimate cases... not to mention how irresponsible it would be to label all environmentalist-groups as radical bioterrorists.”  
“I want all chatter in the known hot-zones monitored and I want to know immediately if anyone even hears someone mention bio-weapons, is that clear?” Kosmin said and Hunnigan barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

“Yeah, that’s what I get paid to do,” Hunnigan said and stood up impatiently.

“If you’ll excuse me, this meeting has already gone over twenty minutes overtime, and I’m late for an appointment. Or would you like to spend another half an hour mansplaining me how to do my job that I’ve been doing remarkably well for the past decade?”she then asked, her obviously insubordinate words eliciting a soft gasp from the other agents sitting at the confrence table (and a barely contained giggle from Olivia). Kosmin didn’t have a chance to comment before Hunnigan already turned on her heel and yanked the glass door open, and exited with long agitated strides.

After finally being officially dismissed, Olivia got up and followed Hunnigan.

“Are you trying to get yourself fired?” she chuckled when she finally caught up with Hunnigan, who was busy gathering up her belongings and shoving them into her shoulder bag.  
“Please, he doesn’t have what it takes to smoke me out of my own agency,” Hunnigan muttered, looking around her desk, trying to find her phone.

“The damage he is doing to this agency is pissing me off. You should’ve gotten the director’s position, instead the idiots flew him in from out of nowhere and now he’s messing everything up,” Olivia grumbled.  
“That he is,” Hunnigan sighed as she picked up folders and random papers while Olivia decided to make her hunt a little easier, grabbed her own phone and dialed Hunnigan’s number.

“Thanks,” Hunnigan said when she finally found it under an open folder.  
“I’m just saying, you should be running the agency. Hell, you’re the one who founded it with the President at the time. And you founded the Academy!”

“You helped with that.”  
“A little.”

“Yeah, well, look... I appreciate your faith in me, but I’m a grunt, not an officer,” Hunnigan smirked.  
“Bullshit, you’re a four star general,” Olivia said and Hunnigan laughed quietly, shaking her head a little.

“Either way, I gotta go.”  
“Where are you off to in such a hurry anyway? We’re supposed to meet with the B.S.A.A. agents.”

“Yeah, and I would’ve made it to that meeting too if it weren’t for Kosmin’s endless rambling,” Hunnigan muttered and hurried toward the exit.  
“But, what about the—”

“Look, Liv, please, you handle it, okay? You’re a full-fledged F.O.S. agent, you have the authority and the skill, so... go for it,” Hunnigan encouraged with a smile and left the office.

* * *

Helena had assumed that doctor Traynor had been joking about this part being the worst of the process, but apparently not. The past few days Helena had suffered some bone aches and sore muscles because of the colony-stimulating factor she’d been on, but honestly, the pains hadn’t been much worse than the ones she experienced while on her period, and a small dose of ibuprofen had taken care of that. However, lying here for hours while her blood was basically recycled and the stem cells harvested from it really was worse.

The procedure was already over and Helena was heading out from the room when Hunnigan finally turned up.

“I’m so sorry, I was almost late for my own appointment and then Traynor was even later, and Kosmin was being an idiot, and... I’m sorry, I know I was supposed to be here,” Hunnigan babbled and Helena chuckled quietly.  
“It’s okay, now my work is done, and I can still say I did more than the average males do when it comes to contributing to the to process making babies,” she smirked and kissed Hunnigan.

“So, how’s everything at the agency, from your point of view?” she then asked as they walked side-by-side along the long hallway toward the exit.  
“Don’t get me started,” Hunnigan rolled her eyes. “I do feel kind of guilty for ditching work and leaving Olivia to handle the B.S.A.A. agents. It’s not that I don’t believe Liv can do it, but I still think I should’ve been there.”

“What does the B.S.A.A. want from the D.S.O. anyway?” Helena inquired with a frown as she unlocked the car doors.

“They probably want us to return the favor. You know we’ve had to borrow a lof ot manpower from them recently,” Hunnigan assumed and got in the car. She really didn’t want to think about it. If the B.S.A.A. was scrounging for agents, she knew it wasn’t likely they were doing it just to have a friendly picnic with a fellow agency.

* * *

“This is really not a good time!” Hunnigan said into the phone and then held it away from her face, covering the microphone with her hand to hide the gasp Helena elicited from her with her tongue. Frankly, she did that on purpose because she couldn’t believe Hunnigan had actually answered the damn call in the middle of everything.

“Okay... All right...” Hunnigan said into the phone then, her tone growing more serious and she reached to press her palm against Helena’s forehead to silently tell her to stop.

 _What?_ Helena frowned at her as she stood on her knees and ran the back of her hand over her chin and lips.

“Thanks, Liv,” Hunnigan then said before wishing Olivia good night and ending the call.  
“You have got to be kidding me,” Helena scoffed when Hunnigan sat up and reached to grab her laptop.

“I wish I were,” she sighed, logged in and opened her emails. Helena sighed in frustration and rolled her eyes as she went to sit next to Hunnigan and read over her shoulder.

“I told you this would happen,” Hunnigan grumbled as she stared at the forms which contained the details of the mission and stated that agent Harper was to be deployed and take part in the B.S.A.A.’s campaing on the coast of Antartica to investigate a research station which was supposed to be closed and abandonded since 2005, but recent intel suggested it had been taken over by suspected Jenova-members.

“...annnd I should’ve listened to you,” Helena mumbled somewhat apologetically despite both of them knowing that it really wasn’t her fault.  
“Okay, look, we’ll go check it out, it’s probably nothing, if it is something, we’ll deal with it and come home, piece of cake,” Helena tried, but her attempts at comforting Hunnigan weren’t working.

“Damn it, why now of all times?” Hunnigan scowled annoyedly as she slapped and laptop shut, almost tossed it onto the nightstand and slumped back against her pillows. She crossed her arms over her abdomen and contemplated on getting up just to kick something, she was certain that would’ve made her feel a little better. That, and possibly screaming a little bit.

“Hey...” Helena said softly and went to straddle Hunnigan’s lap, slipping her arms over Hunnigan’s shoulders as the taller woman wrapped hers around Helena’s waist.  
“It’s gonna be fine and I’ll be right back.”

“Helena, it’s a two-month campaign, I won’t see you until July... and that’s _if_ everything goes well. And it’s not like we can just chat over the phone or email each other back and forth either.”

“I know. But it’s just a couple of months. Besides, the B.S.A.A. pays better than the D.S.O. does for this kind of a mission, and I don’t need to tell you how useful extra cash will be, especially since we’re gonna have a baby,” Helena reasoned and Hunnigan nodded slowly. Of course she understood that and she even agreed, but that didn’t mean she could stop feeling shitty over this.

“You know, not much than a year ago, I barely knew who you were and I definitely wouldn’t have wanted to have you around messing up my place and my routine,” Hunnigan began and Helena laughed softly and kissed Hunnigan’s lips gently.

“...and now I can’t imagine a day without you, and I would never want to either,” she finished her sentence after breaking the kiss.

“And once I get back, then the odds are you won’t ever have to either,” Helena smiled. She knew Hunnigan wasn’t anywhere near convinced, but she didn’t give her a chance to say as much; Helena leaned to kiss Hunnigan again, deepening the kiss gently but quickly, her lips as demanding as they were loving. Helena trailed her lips over to the side of Hunnigan’s neck, flicking her tongue over the pulse point before eagerly sucking on it, her hand traveling down over Hunnigan’s abdomen.

“It’ll be fine,” she whispered against Hunnigan’s skin as she slowly shifted on the bed, settling between Hunnigan’s thighs. She slipped her hand between their bodies and Hunnigan pressed her hips against Helena, silently inviting her closer, and Helena accepted the invitation.

“I won’t... let you go,” Hunnigan said, her voice barely more than a whimper, overwhelmed with love and need, laced with sadness and worry. She knew better than anyone that not letting Helena go wasn’t an option, but it did nothing to keep her from swearing she wouldn’t. She held onto Helena tighter, her legs wrapping around the other woman’s hips, her fingernails digging into her shoulders and back with increasing desperation and uncontrollable urge to somehow keep her from leaving in the morning.

“I’m here now,” Helena whispered into Hunnigan’s ear before enclosing her lips around the lobe and biting down gently as she curled her fingers further, pressing against Hunnigan tighter.

“I... won’t...” Hunnigan began to repeat, the rest of her sentence disappearing into a sharp inhale. Her hips bucked and her back arched, and in that one timeless moment, she felt like her entire soul spilled over with warm calmness. The bittersweet anxiety and the feeling of crushing loneliness and concern that accompanied her whenever she even thought of Helena going on a mission was banished by the comfort of having her here now.

Hunnigan refused to let go of her even when the after shocks slowly ceased, and Helena indulged her, remaining ontop of her, slowly sliding her hands up, cupping Hunnigan’s shoulders. 

“I’m right here.”  
“And I need you to stay there,” Hunnigan demanded, swallowing hard against the lump in her throat.

“I can’t. But I’ll come back soon enough,” Helena said quietly, slowly moving a little, and Hunnigan reluctantly let her. She settled to lie on her side, pulling Hunnigan into a sweetheart’s cradle, nuzzling into the top of her head as she held onto her tightly.

“Promise me.”  
“I swear.”

***


	42. Siege

Helena would’ve taken a series of long flights over having to board a ship from Australia any day, but apparently, that wasn’t an option. Their job wasn’t to just reach the base, their job was also to patrol the known routes to it by sea and be on a lookout for a large ship which possibly housed a laboratory of some sort. Helena had mentioned she found the mere idea ridiculous, but Jill Valentine had been quick to tell her it wouldn’t have been the first time she’d seen something like that. In her experience, it could be a luxury cruise ship for all anyone knew, hiding in plain sight.

Helena was initially surprised at by how small the team assigned to this was; aside from herself and Jill Valentine, there was only one other agent brought in, a recon sniper named Nadia. The other people onboard the ship Aegis were the ship’s crew, working for Captain Mitya Griffin, who was affectionately referred to as “Ocean” by his crew. No one aside from Helena seemed to appreciate the irony of the nickname.

Whenever imagining a sea captain, Helena was stuck with the same stereotypical mental image she was certain a lot of people shared; namely, a mental image of an older gentleman with a thick white beard and a pipe hanging in the corner of his mouth. A tall man in his late-thirties with dark hair and a clean shaven face didn’t come across as a sea captain at all. Yet, there he was.

“My nose feels funny,” Helena mumbled and rubbed her nose after putting out her cigarette in the empty pickle jar that was used as an ashtray.

“It’s just your nosehair freezing, you get used to it,” Ocean commented with a knowing smile, still working to light his cigarette in the cold wind. They’d been en route for about three weeks now and Helena assumed that the weather getting colder must’ve meant they were getting close to the coast at last. According to the captain, they could’ve reached the coast faster had they been able to make a beeline for it, but their orders had been to patrol.

Helena didn’t actually mind the patrolling as far as her part of it all went. To her it meant she was out there, flying the helicopter, looking for a ship which probably didn’t even exist, but at least it gave her something to do. There weren’t a lot of means of passing the time on the ship; Internet being practically non-existent even when the daily window to use it was there ensured wasting time and resources on cat videos wasn’t an option, and the ship’s crew handled the maintenance of the ship so the extra help wasn’t needed there either. So, after a full day of flying, Helena was exhausted and passed out almost immediately after getting into her bunk and she was grateful for that, because that meant she had less time to just miss Hunnigan.

Helena blew out a breath and began to go through her preflight checklist.

“This is a waste of time, we’ve been there for weeks and there’s never been anything to see, I want this shit over and done with,” she muttered to herself as she circled the helicopter and checked the landing hear, the fuel tank, the lights and the rest.

“I’m sorry, Corporal Harper, is the mission interfering with your whining?” Nadia’s voice inquired from the other side of the helicopter. Helena scoffed in surprise. Being referred to as corporal was taking some getting used to as well, she hadn’t been Corporal Harper since she’d been honorably dicharged from the military; after that, she’d briefly been Officer Harper of the C.I.A. and finally, Agent Harper. Apparently, the B.S.A.A. preferred the military way of doing things, which suited Helena fine, she was used to it.

“I really wish you’d stop sneaking up on me,” she told Nadia.  
“Just be glad Jill didn’t hear you,” the recon sniper laughed and got in the helicopter.

“Yeah, what’s her deal? She seems pretty intense,” Helena commented and got in as well.   
“This is her first mission since she had to stay in rehab after being exposed to a virus and being used as a test subject,” Nadia summarized the gist of what Jill had gone through in the past few years.

“Well... that certainly explains something,” Helena muttered.  
“She’s good people, it just takes her a while to warm up to you, she’ll come around eventually.”

“It’ll be a hell of an awkward rest of the campaign if she doesn’t.”

Frankly, saying Jill didn’t like Helena was an assumption Helena had made based on very little interaction between the two, and Helena was willing to believe that it wasn’t personal as much as it was just Jill disliking the idea of having to bring someone from outside the B.S.A.A. on board for the mission. That, at least, was something Helena knew she had in common with Jill; she didn’t really want to be here either

“Do you have family members serving in the military?” Nadia chatted. While Helena hadn’t been introduced to her as Corporal Harper, she’d figured out Helena’s background rather easily and simply because of the way Helena made her bed. She’d once had a drill sergeant tell her to remake her bed thirteen times just because he hadn’t liked her, and she’d done it, even though she had done an excellent job at it at the first try. The bed next to hers had been messier and passed with flying colors. Helena still considered her not just tearing the sergeant’s throat out a personal triumph.

“Nope. My mom was a nurse and my dad was a mechanic, he had a garage and he could fix anything,” Helena smiled at the memory of her father.

“I’m noticing a past tense. Something happen to them? I mean, you seem too young to have lost them to natural causes,” Nadia inquired and then added, “I’m sorry if I’m beeing too nosey, feel free to tell me to shut up if you don’t want to talk about it.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Helena chuckled. “My parents died because they were at the wrong place at the wrong time. They went to a store that was being robbed and ended up getting shot. So... afterward it was foster homes for me and my sister, who also passed away recently.”

“I’m sorry.”  
“Thanks.”

“So... you joined the military just because you wanted to serve your country? I mean, for most people it’s because of family pressure.”

“Well, it was both kind of. I joined because I didn’t know how to do anything really, and I couldn’t afford a proper education, and there was nothing that interested me enough for me to study it even if I could’ve afforded it. Plus, there was my younger sister, who _did_ know what she wanted and wanted to go to school, so I figured I’d use the incentive money to help with that. And now... here I am,” Helena shrugged one shoulder.

“You’re a good woman, Harper,” Nadia chuckled and raised to binoculars to her eyes once more to scan the horizon. Nothing there.

“What about you, what’s your story?” Helena asked.

“I was in SWAT, but you know what kids do these days? They call in a SWAT-team to raid someone’s house if that someone beats them at a video game. That’s insane! But, we gotta take every call seriously, you know? I just got fed up with wasting my daily training for stuff like that. Now, I feel like I’m making an actual difference. That’s not to say that SWAT isn’t important, but this is so different.”

“True, but that said, we get our share of ‘prank’-calls and false alarms too.”  
“Oh?”  
“I know an agent who once got called in to investigate a group of very convincing cosplayers,” Helena laughed.

* * *

 Hunnigan stepped into an alcove and waited for a few moments before stepping back out, causing Olivia to bump into her. The people walking by barely even noticed the awkward exchange taking place.

“Why are you following me?” she asked.  
“I’m not,” Olivia denied with a terribly unconvincing lie.

“You’ve been doing it for at least two weeks now, what is your problem?” Hunnigan frowned and Olivia sighed in defeat.  
“All right, it’s just that... you’ve been leaving work early and you’ve taken long lunches... and I’m just wondering what are you up to?”

“So, you decided to follow me around?” Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow.  
“Well, I doubt you would’ve just told me if I’d asked,” Olivia reasoned.

“You’re right, I wouldn’t have because it’s none of your business. Now, stop it,” Hunnigan scoffed.  
“I will if you tell me what you’re doing. Are you cheating on Helena?”

“What!” Hunnigan chortled, amazed that the thought had even crossed Olivia’s mind. Then again, she supposed it was a reasonable explanation when considering Olivia had no way of knowing where Hunnigan was sneaking off to exactly and why.

“No, I’m not cheating on Helena,” Hunnigan laughed softly, shaking her head. “I’ve been seeing a doctor.”  
“Why? Are you sick?” Olivia frowned.

“No, everything’s fine, but it is a personal matter.”  
“You might as well tell me, because you know I’ll drag it out from you eventually,” Olivia crossed her arms over her abdomen defiantly.

“Maybe, but you’ll just have to wait until that day comes,” Hunnigan smirked. “Now, stop following me and go home, okay?” she then said and waited adamantly in her spot until Olivia gave in and turned on her heel before walking away. Hunnigan waited until she was out of the view before continuing the walk over to the clinic.

Hunnigan was proceeding with mixed feelings, because on one hand, she felt she should’ve waited for Helena to come back before going through with this. On the other, waiting didn’t feel very sensible either since all the preparations were basically done. Besides, there was no saying it would take on the first try, and even if it did, there were so many things that could go wrong right at the start. In a way, she felt it would be better to see if anything would even happen while Helena wasn’t here to be visibly disappointed if it turned out that it wouldn’t actually work.

And if it did work... Hunnigan doubted Helena would be too upset, she would be back before the pregnancy would even begin to show, she wouldn’t really miss out on anything other than the first round of morning sickness probably. On the contrary, telling her about the baby would be one hell of a welcome home-surprise.

“Ingrid? Come on in, we’re ready for you,” doctor Traynor invited with a smile and Hunnigan got up, let out a nervous exhale before stepping forward and entered the procedure room.

* * *

“Who’s Ingrid?” Nadia asked out of the blue as she and Helena were climbing out from the helicopter, and Helena’s eyebrows rose in surprise.  
“Uh... how do you know that name?” she asked as she slammed the door shut and began securing the helicopter to the deck.

“You were spooning me and called me Ingrid last night, it was kind of cute. I’m just wondering who she is,” Nadia chuckled and Helena blushed a deep shade of red. Nadia had invited her to watch _Breaking bad_ with her from her portable DVD player last night, and Helena had fallen asleep almost immediately after settling to lay down on Nadia’s bunk with her. She didn’t, however, recall spooning Nadia and she’d woken up alone later after Nadia had already gone for breakfast.

“Ingrid’s my wife,” Helena explained as they headed back inside for lunch. She felt a little flood of warmth spill in her chest when she thought about Hunnigan and how much she loved being able to casually refer to her as her wife. She didn’t even bother trying to hide the smile that rose to her lips at the thought.

“Really? Huh, I wouldn’t have guessed, for some reason, you don’t come across as the marrying-type,” Nadia mused.  
“Well, what can I say, I’m an anomaly.”

“How long have you been married?”

“Let’s just say that right now, I should still be on my honeymoon,” Helena smirked ruefully. She’d actively avoided talking about her personal life, not because she worried about what people might say, that was something she’d stopped giving a damn about years ago; she worried that thinking about home excessively would just make her miserable because she missed Hunnigan. It wasn’t a slump she could afford to let herself get stuck in right now.

“So, practically newlyweds. Congrats,” Nadia chuckled and headed over to the bridge, stating she wasn’t very hungry yet. Helena nodded and continued on to the messhall.

In the morning, she had been willing to say that the odds of today becoming The Day Something Finally Happened were about as good as finding fresh seafood at a gas station were, in other words, practically non-existent; when something finally did happen, she was rather excited about having been wrong.

She’d just finished plating her lunch and was about to sit down to eat when Captain Ocean’s voice came over the intercom, telling the B.S.A.A. operatives that they needed to get to the bridge.

_Aw, fuck,_ Helena grumbled internally and followed the orders, abandoning her lunch.

“What’s going on?” Jill asked as she stood next to the captain and looked at the monitors.  
“We found it!” Nadia proclaimed and handed the binoculars to Jill so that she could see into the distance. She was barely able to make out the tiny dot in the horizon which would’ve been a huge ship had it been closer.

“All that flying and we just randomly run into them like this? Now I’m pissed,” Helena muttered.  
“There’s more,” Ocean said and Jill went back to him.

“My guess is the main ship isn’t fast enough to outrun us so they’ve called for smaller and faster ships to stall us,” Ocean said and pointed out three vessels approaching rapidly on the radar.

“Prep the chopper and follow that ship, we can’t afford to lose it now!” Jill ordered, and Nadia and Helena got to work. Despite being in a hurry, Helena refused to skip the preflight checks. Getting in the air only to have something fail was not how she intended to let things go. Besides, she was relatively certain the helicopter had what it took to catch up with the ship even with the minor delay. She hadn’t taken into account the three small vessels that were approaching, though.

“What are they doing?” Jill frowned when the vessels began to sail in a circle around the Aegis.  
“Stalling us,” Ocean answered. The gaps between the vessels were too small and closed too quickly, he couldn’t steer the Aegis through fast enough to slip away.

“I can’t move forward without risking collision,” the captain said through clenched teeth as he was forced to bring the ship to a stop.  
“We’re gonna need a little help here!” Nadia’s voice came over the radio and Jill grabbed her gear before hurrying to the deck, a few of the ship’s crew following her.

“Are those crazy bastards seriously firing at us!” Helena yelled, her voice filled with outrage rather than distress.

“Just get us going, obviously we’re the target since we can still follow the main ship!” Nadia grunted and aimed the rifle, scoped the aggressive vessel’s deck and took out an assailant who’d been preparing to throw a molotov cocktail. The bottle broke as he fell down and the fiery cloud exploded, burning the three others who’d been nearby.

“Nice!” Jill complimented over the radio.

“Clear for take off,” Helena said after checking behind and to the sides once more to make sure she wouldn’t accidentally decapitate someone who’d gotten too close, and finally she revved the engine and pulled up. She hovered for a moment, letting Nadia finish picking off some of her targets to help Jill and the crew that were under attack.

“We gotta go or we’ll get shot down,” Helena said.

“Yes, go! Find that ship and send us the coordinates when you do!” Jill ordered and with that, Helena moved out.

***


	43. Distortion

Recently, Hunnigan had discovered a whole new kind of frustration she couldn’t say she’d been very familiar with before. Namely, sexual frustration. In the past when she’d been single, she’d dealt with it the way probably almost anyone would, and it wasn’t like she’d just flat out stopped masturbating altogether even after she’d started dating Helena (granted, the desire to do so had become less frequent), but now, something was... wrong.

She’d known the hormones she’d be receiving would cause this and she’d expected this, but not at this scale. She took comfort in knowing she could blame the hormones and mean it too, but at the same time, she couldn’t blame them; their sole purpose was to ensure she’d get pregnant and what better way to do that than to make her horny enough to want to run up to almost anyone and bed them. Most recently, she'd found herself wanting to practically impale herself on Leon; the fact she’d even thought of that had been the moment she’d decided she had to go home early and take matters into her own hands, literally. It just didn’t work out quite like she’d hoped.

“So, I guess that’s not happening,” she exhaled in frustration and turned to lay on her side.

She’d been more than in the mood for it when she’d started, but all it took was one errant thought to ruin everything.

_Something’s happened to Helena._

She couldn’t say why she’d even thought of it exactly, but it didn’t matter, the end result was the same. This wasn’t even the first time she’d given up trying after realizing all she would be getting out of it would be a sore clit and stupidly sickening remorse over wasting time trying to get off and failing miserably at something as ordinary as having an orgasm.

It wasn’t like she needed Helena in order to come, she’d been perfectly capable of taking care of herself like this before; as far as technique went, she could do the majority of the things Helena would do herself. Unfortunately for Hunnigan, technique wasn’t the problem. Her mind wandering was the problem and no matter how hard she tried to focus on the things Helena would say and do if she were there, an irrelevant thought from out of nowhere would lance through her and she found herself unable to recover from it. The intrusive thoughts ranged from anything between “I should’ve bought ice cream” to something like the latest one; a worry that something bad had happened.

The problem was that she couldn’t feel Helena’s hands on herself, she couldn’t feel her lips against her own and traveling all over her body, she couldn’t feel Helena’s chest pressed to hers or the weight of Helena’s solidly built body ontop of herself and Helena’s hips moving between her thighs. The problem was that she couldn’t hear Helena’s breath or the words and phrases that would’ve made them both cringe anywhere else and in any other situation but oddly, served as a huge turn-on when they were used in the throes of passion (Hunnigan had never been a fan of the word “pussy” –or dirty talk in general– but when Helena used it in a sentence when they were making love, it suddenly went from barely tolerable to the sexiest thing Hunnigan had ever heard).

The problem was that Helena wasn’t there to tell her she loved her and every little detail about her. The problem was Helena wasn’t there to hold her afterward, gently caress her, rest her cheek against the top of Hunnigan’s head so that her breath tickled Hunnigan’s face as her fingers found the sensitive spot in the back of Hunnigan’s neck and tickled that gently until she fell asleep feeling satisfied and loved.

The problem was... that it all felt hollow and disappointing when Helena wasn’t there, it was reduced to nothing more than a meaningless self-indulgence.

* * *

“Not one of my most graceful landings,” Helena grunted as she circled the helicopter. She’d had to make an emergency landing on an ice berg after the crew on the ship they’d chased had finally managed to get some shots in, the damage from the shotgun rounds followed by a molotov cocktail finally having been too much for the helicopter to handle.

“Well, at least we’re still alive,” Nadia said, silently praying the ice berg wouldn’t collapse underneath them. She doubted it would, but she wished she’d had some wood to knock on.  
“Not for long unless we get picked up soon,” Helena muttered. It was getting late and the temperature was dropping rapidly, the cold wind combined with the humidity of the ocean didn’t make it any better.

“Jill confirmed she’d received the message, our beacon is up, they’ll be here,” Nadia said, not bothering to mention that anyone else nearby scanning the frequencies could’ve picked up their location just as easily.

“Yeah, you’re right, we’ll just have to figure out a way to keep warm until then, it could be half a day or longer, depending on what the situation is with the other vessels that were bothering us,” Helena mused. Jill hadn’t had a chance to say much more before the radio had gone silent.

“The chopper’s still mostly intact, we could take shelter from the wind there,” Nadia suggested and Helena agreed.

They entered the wreck and Nadia headed to the back of the helicopter, digging into the equipment lockers secured to the side.

“Ah-ha!” she exclaimed triumphantly and pulled out a sleeping bag. “You know what they say, the best way to stay warm is to huddle up together in a sleeping bag,” she added as she rolled the sleeping bag open.  
“You left out the part about needing to be naked,” Helena smirked.

“Yeah, well, you know, that should go without saying,” Nadia shrugged.  
“Well, if you’re not uncomfortable with it, fine,” Helena said and Nadia frowned deeply.

“You have some serious problems with accepting your sexuality, don’t you?” she laughed softly as she undid the laces of her boots, kicking them off her feet before proceeding to unzip her jacket.

“Actually, it’s usually been everyone else having a problem with my sexuality being made into my problem by those people, so I’m kind of expecting everyone to be uncomfortable with it,” Helena said.  
“You must have one hell of a coming out-story,” Nadia scoffed amusedly, undressed to her underwear and slipped into the sleeping bag.

“Not really,” Helena said and told Nadia what had happened as she followed her example and got into the sleeping bag as well.

“And, afterward, the girls in my class basically started treating me like I was a guy leering over them in the locker room or anywhere really, so I couldn’t even look at a girl without her asking me ‘what are you ogling at, you perv?’, so... I’m kind of still expecting people to be uncomfortable around me,” Helena mumbled.

“Huh. I never had to go through stuff like that. I guess it was either so obvious or then not obvious enough for anyone to even notice. The only person who seemed surprised by my sexuality was my older sister who called me after I’d ran into a mutual friend and introduced my girlfriend to him and he’d told my sister.”

“How’d she react?” Helena inquired, not mentioning that she hadn’t known either. It didn’t really matter or make a difference, but somehow she still felt like she’d just seen a unicorn when she realized she wasn’t the only lesbian in the world. It was a ridiculous way of thinking she blamed on the fact that she’d grown up in an environment where gay people were considered something like fairy tale creatures. Never hated really but ignored to some extent, like they weren’t real.

“She just asked me why I hadn’t told her, and I said I’d just assumed it was something that went without saying,” Nadia chuckled.  
“That sounds nice, though.”

“It is, but at the same time, I can’t really relate to anyone who’s had to struggle with their sexuality or stay in the closet because they’re scared of being rejected and hated by their family and friends. I guess I got lucky,” Nadia shrugged one shoulder and wiggled a little to find a better position.

“I did too in the end, so I can’t really complain,” Helena commented and cleared her throat a little when Nadia reached to grip Helena’s forearm and pulled her arm around herself.

“Better,” she said and Helena smiled ruefully in the dark, grateful of the warmth radiating from Nadia but unable to shake the discomfort in her chest. She didn’t know how or why she even found herself considering this akin to cheating, they weren’t doing anything.

 _I have got to stop being so weird around other people,_ she rolled her eyes at herself.

The floor was cold and hard and Helena could feel a slight ache and numbness settle into her shoulder already. It was her right shoulder, the bad shoulder as she’d begun referring to it as. The one that had gotten injured back in Tall Oaks when Deborah had pierced it with one of the sharp appendages, and later the same shoulder had taken a bullet.

“Are you all right?” Nadia asked.  
“Yeah, it’s just... an old injury that doesn’t appreciate the cold or the position I’m in, I usually sleep on my back,” Helena dismissed.

“You want to turn?”  
“Yeah...” Helena admitted and they moved together, Nadia making as much room as she could to allow Helena to settle onto her back. When Helena found a comfortable position, Nadia lowered herself back down, resting her head on Helena’s shoulder.

“Better?” she asked, wrapping her arm firmly around Helena’s midsection, resting her leg over Helena’s waist as she pressed her body to hers.

“Yes,” Helena said and closed her eyes. She doubted it would work that way, but somehow she held hope that maybe if she tried to imagine it hard enough, she could convince herself that the breath tickling her skin, the warm body pressed to her own, and the mouth resting on the scarred skin of her shoulder were her wife’s. She hummed softly when she felt Nadia’s nose press against the side of her neck and her lips tentatively make contact with Helena’s skin as she pressed a light kiss onto it.

“Much better,” Helena muttered and turned her head to face Nadia.

She kissed different.

* * *

“What you do with it afterward is up to you, but that doesn’t change anything as far as I’m concerned, I’m ruling it a homicide,” Alix said into her phone and waved at Hunnigan to enter the office. She’d been hovering by the door, trying to look like she wasn’t listening in, but of course she’d heard a fair share before Alix had noticed her presence.

“The detectives and the A.D.A. are convinced I’m trying to make their lives difficult on purpose,” Alix scoffed a little after ending the phone call. She didn’t go into details and Hunnigan knew better than to ask.

“What brings you here?” she then asked as Hunnigan took a seat. The walls of Alix’s office were decorated with framed diplomas and simple but tasteful artwork. Nothing too provocative, accidentally offending or triggering a grieving loved one having the unfortunate part of visiting the chief medical examiner’s office wasn’t an option. The bookshelves behind Alix’s desk were overflowing with medical literature and also several law books, all neatly ordered, the entire office and the decor offering a subtle insight to the owner’s personality.

“I don’t think I’ll ever understand how you had the time and energy to go through medical school and all that training and writing and studying and... all that... while simultaneously looking after me and about a hundred other kids,” Hunnigan said as she took a seat. Alix frowned a little and smiled, curious about what had brought this on.

“Well, you were the only baby we had, all the other children were closer to teenage when they came to stay with us, they didn’t require constant care, so really, it was all manageable,” Alix shrugged. “I don’t understand how someone can handle two or more babies simulatenously, now those moms deserve the medals,” she then added.

“You have a point,” Hunnigan nodded. Doctor Traynor had told her that the odds of her ending up carrying twins were higher than average, but Hunnigan hadn’t thought much about it... until now. One child would be a handful, she could honestly say she probably wouldn’t be able to handle twins.

 _I guess I’ll worry about that if it happens_ , she decided silently.

“What’s going on?” Alix asked once more, her frown deepening. “Is everything okay?”  
“Yeah! Yeah, everything’s fine, I just... You remember what we talked about regarding doctor Traynor’s research?”

“Yes...”

“Well, the thing is... I’m trying to get pregnant,” Hunnigan blurted out and Alix’s eyebrows rose in surprise, but other than that, she didn’t seem to have much of a reaction. That made Hunnigan frown; she’d expected her mother to practically climb over the desk and hug her at least.

Instead, she simply made a tiny smacking sound as she sucked on her teeth and finally made a little noise saying, “Huh.”

“Oooh-kay then, this is... definitely not the reaction I was hoping for, but all right...” Hunnigan trailed off and Alix shook her head, raising her hands a little.  
“No, honey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to seem like I wasn’t excited, that’s not it!” she apologized. “I just assumed that Helena would be the birthmother, I’m a little surprised.”

“Yeah, well, she’s younger, and if this goes as planned, she’ll have a chance to be the birthmother too later if we decide to have more children, and while I’m not exactly too old, it’s still a fact that I don’t have a lot of time to waste waiting,” Hunnigan shrugged one shoulder.

“I didn’t mean that either, I’m more worried about your heart than I am about your age; pregnancy is only going to exacerbate your tachycardia,” Alix sighed deeply.  
“I doubt I’m the only woman with a heart condition trying to get pregnant, so I think I’ll be fine,” Hunnigan said, beginning to feel a bit annoyed.

She understood why Alix was concerned, but right now, she would’ve needed support and maybe some acknowledgment of the fact that she wasn’t completely insane and in the wrong by going forward with this while Helena was still out there. She didn’t need to be lectured about how she should’ve gotten the pacemaker when Alix had told her to, or how she should’ve discussed her heart condition with doctor Traynor in more detail than she already had. How Hunnigan was supposed to do that, she didn’t know; beyond disclosing to Traynor that she had a heart condition, she didn’t think there was much more she could’ve done. Besides, she’d given Traynor full access to her medical records, she certainly hoped Traynor would at least skim through them.

“I’m sorry, Jimmy, this isn’t what I’m supposed to be saying,” Alix scoffed at herself and got up, circled her desk and leaned to hug Hunnigan, excitedly swaying her from side to side as she squeezed her tightly.

“I can’t believe it, my baby is going to be having a baby!” she squealed and Hunnigan laughed; finally, this was the reaction she’d been expecting. Apparently, it had been hiding just underneath the concern the whole time.

***


	44. Whiteout

Jill tugged on the wire to make sure it was securely attached before starting the small winch that allowed her to effortlessly climb to the top of the ice berg from the ship’s deck. Breaking the siege had taken a lot longer than would’ve been ideal and Helena and Nadia had been stuck waiting for over a day and a half. Jill just hoped she wouldn’t walk in only to find the two of them frozen to death.

Jill spotted the helicopter a few hundred yards away and began to make her way over, pulling the bandana around her neck higher to shield her face from the snow flakes that the strong wind transformed into icy needles, pelting her face. The goggles protected her eyes but she admitted she hadn’t thought this through, she should’ve equipped herself with a full mask.

When Jill arrived at the wreck, she immediately realized something was wrong. She drew her gun and reached for the door handle, pausing for a moment before yanking the door open. There was no one inside.

“Shit,” Jill hissed and climbed in to take a closer look. The inside of the helicopter was a mess, but that didn’t really mean anything, it was likely due to the crash landing rather than a struggle. She got back out and looked at the edge of the door. It was damaged, like someone had forced it open. Jill didn’t see any tracks in the snow, the fresh layer having covered them long ago, but it was becoming obvious Helena and Nadia hadn’t left the wreck on their own or voluntarily.

“Shit. Shit, shit, shit,” Jill hissed once more as she began to hurry back to the ship.

* * *

“Director Kosmin? Is something up? I didn’t realize we had a meeting,” Hunnigan said when she entered the conference room.

“That’s because I didn’t tell you, I didn’t want to bother you with boring administrative stuff,” he faked a smile and Hunnigan narrowed her eyes a little at that. Considering the agents in the room were field agents and Leon, Hunnigan seriously doubted they’d been discussing “boring administrative” things.

“With all due respect...” Hunnigan began, thinking that none was really due at this point, “I think I should be kept up to date about what goes at my agency.”  
“I’ve got it under control,” Kosmin replied, the words polite-ish but his tone telling her to get lost.

“Dismissed,” he then said to the agents in the room and they all began to get up slowly.  
“I didn’t know you weren’t informed,” Leon said as he paused to stand next to Hunnigan.

“I’m not blaming you.”

“Yeah, but still. You know that the agents are loyal to you and answer to your authority, not his, even if he doesn’t seem to realize that. I swear, the next time that sniping bastard excludes you from a meeting, there will be a riot,” he promised and Hunnigan chuckled a little.

“What was the meeting about anyway?” she inquired.  
“I’m not really even sure, he was just asking a bunch of vague questions, mostly about you,” Leon muttered as he walked with Hunnigan toward her office.

“I’m flattered I’ve caught his attention,” Hunnigan said sarcastically. If Kosmin was looking for dirt on her, she was relatively certain there could be only one of two reasons for that. Either he was trying to make sure she was legit or he was looking for an excuse to have her fired or at the very least demoted. She was leaning toward thinking it was the latter.

_That son of a bitch._

“Oh, no. No, no, no,” Olivia’s voice could be heard from the back of the room and Hunnigan frowned.

“Liv? What’s happening?” she asked as she hurried over to their office. Nothing seemed to be wrong, but Olivia looked devastated. She turned her laptop so that Hunnigan could read the very brief report that the B.S.A.A. had sent in.

 _Intrieri, Nadia_  
_Codename: Artemis_  
_Current status: MISSING  
         Unable to locate and extract._

 _Harper, Helena Kathryn_  
_Codename: Adrestia_  
_Current status: MISSING_       
_Unable to locate and extract._

 

“Oh, hell,” Leon exhaled after reading it too. He glanced at Hunnigan and could see the muscles in her jaw clenching as she repeatedly bit her teeth together before swallowing hard and slowly nodding.  
“All right. All right, so...” she trailed off and went to take a seat at her desk, opening her laptop and logging in casually as if nothing had happened.

“Hunnigan, are you o—?” Leon began to ask but the glare she gave him silenced him.  
“Just... let me think,” she muttered and ran a hand over her face. Technically, there was nothing she could do, this campaign was out of the D.S.O.’s and therefore out of her juristiction.

“We could use the satellites to try and locate them,” Olivia suggested.  
“Yeah... Yeah, good idea,” Hunnigan muttered, realizing it should’ve been the first thought to cross her mind. She wasn’t thinking straight.

“But even if do find them, then what? We don’t have the authorization to deploy a team,” Hunnigan said despite knowing she would gladly go behind Kosmin’s back provided she could put together a team who would agree to go without permission. And she already knew she could.

“I know someone who can do it alone,” Leon said and dug his phone out and dialed a number.

* * *

“You inferior little beings... what makes you think you have the right to stop me from doing what’s best for the planet?” a female voice inquired. It was the first sound Helena had heard in the past day or two that she’d been in here. Only, she couldn’t say where “here” was exactly. She had no recollection of how she’d gotten here.

“What you’re doing is terrorism, it has nothing to do with protecting the planet,” Nadia’s voice said from somewhere behind Helena. Her words were followed by a sound of a few rapid footsteps and a resounding strike.

“What better way of protecting the planet than getting rid of the vermin that is humans? Don’t try to tell me you haven’t ever thought that the world would be a better place if certain types of people would just be wiped out.”

“Yeah, I recall someone else thinking like that and being very open about it, I believe his name was Adolf Hitler.”

“Evolution can’t do its job anymore because of modern medicine and warning labels, idiots are allowed to breed, and sadly, the one thing they’re good at is fucking,” the woman scoffed. She moved once more, her footsteps somewhat uneven, like she had a limp. Helena could sense her behind her, circling her, her presence making the hairs on the back of Helena’s neck rise up.

“So, it’s up to me and my family to help mother nature. It’s the only way to restore natural order, wouldn’t you agree?” she asked, her words directed at Helena.

“I find it hard to believe that artificial evolution could be the natural way of accomplishing anything!” Helena spat.

“ _This_ what we have now is artificial evolution!” the woman said, gripping Helena’s face, her fingers digging into the underside of her jawbone and behind it, pressing down on the sensitive area between her ear and the corner of her jaw, making the entire side of her face go numb. Her thumb was pressing on the opposite side, the length of it crushing Helena’s lips against her teeth.

“I told you! Those who should die off are being allowed to live and spread their inferior DNA and genes, ruining everything! How is _that_ supposed to be natural, huh?” she hissed at Helena.

“Don’t you know how natural selection is supposed to work? Survival of the fittest, am I right?” she questioned moving her hand so that she made Helena’s head nod as if to emphasize her point. Finally, she let go of her face and agitatedly shoved Helena’s head back, causing her entire body to swing a little. Only then the pain in her shoulders and wrists registered and she realized she was hanging from something.

“My brother... obsessed with becoming a God. My sister obsessed with her own mortality. My husband and my children... such disappointments for the most part,” the woman spat, pacing back and forth absentmindedly.  
“They thought they were good enough, but they died. Mostly at the hands of the likes of you two, but honestly, if your kind was enough kill them, they didn’t deserve to live,” she laughed.

“Who the hell are you?” Nadia yelled at her from the other end of the room.  
“My name is Irma Wesker, and I’m going to restore the natural order... and you are going to help me.”

* * *

“Leon. It’s been a long time,” Ada said, her voice as soft as always, the mere greeting causing a wave of tingles to run down his back in a familiar way he nowadays wished he didn’t feel anymore.  
“Yeah,” he said and went to pull a chair for her like the gentleman he was. She picked up the menu, casually browsing through it as Leon went back to his seat opposite to her.

“Congratulations on becoming a father,” Ada then said and Leon cleared his throat a little awkwardly, reaching for the tall glass of water instead of the wine a waiter had poured for him a while back as he’d been waiting. He knew he should’ve declined the offer, but he hadn’t and he couldn’t say why not. The urge to drink it was getting worse.

“Thank you,” he mumbled to her before ordering stuffed chicken Marsala from the waiter who’d come over to take their orders after Ada had subtly signalled him that they were ready.  
“I’ll have the seafood portofino,” Ada smiled and handed the menu back to the young man after he’d written down her order. She then leaned her elbows to the table and rested her chin against her knuckles as she watched Leon.

“You said you had a job for me.”  
“I said I need your help.”

“Either way, what can I do for you?”  
“I need you to rescue some agents,” Leon said, dug into the shoulder bag he had hanging from the back of his chair and took out a folder, sliding it over to Ada.

“I’m not a rescue worker, wouldn’t this job be better suited for your wife’s organization?” Ada quirked an eyebrow but took the folder anyway.  
“We’re not married," Leon corrected, both of them knowing Ada was well aware of the fact and brought it up just to tease him, "and you’re right, it is, but...”

“But you don’t want to risk her life by sending her out to...” Ada paused for a second to read the location from the file. “...the Antarctica,” she finished.  
“Having a kid changes things... like a man’s priorities,” Leon muttered.

It wasn’t a lack of confidence in himself or in Claire. It wasn’t fear exactly. It was the hollow feeling of loss when he worried what would happen to his son if something went wrong and Leon got killed, or if Claire got killed. Sure, there were plenty of people who would look after Seeley, but Leon didn’t want that, he wanted to be there looking after Seeley himself. He’d been given what he was certain was the last chance to have the normal life he’d hoped for, and he couldn’t give that up. Not even to save a friend.

“I can see that,” Ada said, tucked the folder into her bag and leaned back when the waiter returned to their table with their meals.  
“So, you’ll do it?” Leon asked once the waiter had gone again. Ada spread the napkin onto her lap before reaching for the tableware and digging into her meal. He knew she was drawing this out on purpose, taking an excessively long time to finish chewing the piece she’d put into her mouth.

“Why do you need my help? I would imagine the B.S.A.A. is more than well-equipped to handle their own messes.”

“They are as severely understaffed as we are at the moment, they’ve only got one agent and a small team out there looking for Helena and Nadia alone, they won’t make it in time without any help, and I hate to say it, but... rescuing the agents isn’t their priority, finding the bio-terrorists is. That’s why we haven’t told them yet that we located the base, they might decide to go ahead and resort to drastic efforts to simply wipe the entire base without even trying to save our people,” Leon explained.

“I hate to sound like a cliché, but what’s in it for me?” Ada finally asked.  
“I’ll owe you one,” Leon offered and she laughed softly, taking a sip of her wine.

“You’re gonna have to do better than that, hun.”  
“I’ll convince Hunnigan to stop investigating you,” Leon then suggested, eliciting yet another chuckle from Ada. It was no secret that Hunnigan had spent a lot of her free time trying to figure out who Ada was. At least, that was something she’d done prior to Helena coming into her life. Leon assumed she had better things to do with her free time nowadays. He certainly hoped so.

“She would get so bored without me.”  
“Well, that’s true,” Leon scoffed amusedly. Frankly, he was usually the one who began talking about Ada to Hunnigan unprompted. It wasn’t like he could talk about her to Claire.

While Claire didn’t come across as the jealous type, Leon knew better than that. Ada was an exception; Claire could look the other way if she caught Leon making a flirty comment to his colleagues because she knew it truly was nothing more than harmless flirting with them. She’d been known to flirt with other people herself, but when it came to Leon and Ada... there was nothing harmless and superficial about it.

“So, tell me. What do you want in exchange for your help?” Leon finally asked.  
“Well, honestly, the only thing I can think of that I could use in the future really is the fact that you’d owe me one.”

“I thought you said that wouldn’t be enough.”  
“I just wanted to see you sweat a little,” Ada smiled sweetly.

***


	45. The trick is to keep breathing

Irma Wesker was no different from the other Weskers (or any other villain really) Helena had read about in the reports. She was convinced she was doing the right thing and that it was her right alone to decide who lives and who dies. While she seemed to despise her “brother” Albert for his obsession of becoming a God, she didn’t seem to realize that ironically her delusions of omnipotence were rather similar to the ones his had been. Her excuse for it was just slightly different. She didn’t want to destroy the world only to be able to appoint herself as its ruler, she wanted to save it by destroying humanity altogether, herself included if necessary.

Helena didn’t know where Nadia had been taken, she could only hope she was still all right. Considering that Wesker had said she attempted to somehow enlist Helena and Nadia’s help, Helena assumed they wouldn’t do anything to severely hurt them.

“What do you want from me?” Helena rasped. Wesker still hadn’t let her down from the wire she’d chained Helena to and used to lift her a little, forcing her to either rest her weight on her shoulders or stand on her tip-toes. It didn’t sound as exhausting as it was when it went on for hours.

“Nothing _from_ you exactly, I’m merely looking to bestow you the honor of becoming my lieutenant,” Wesker said and Helena couldn’t help it; she burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of it. Wesker didn’t take kindly to her reaction and the punishment for Helena’s audacity was swift.

Wesker didn’t even turn to face Helena, she didn’t need to. She merely swung her arm to the side like a lash of a whip, the scalpel she held cutting across the width of Helena’s abdomen as she did. Helena growled at the pain and drew rapid hissing breaths through her teeth.

“Wrong answer,” Wesker said, her hands clasped behind her back as she paced around Helena, nimbly spinning the scalpel between her fingers.  
“Everyone thought I’d died during the experiments. I mean, I did die... technically. Do you know what they did to me, to my body?”

“No, but I’m sure you’ll tell me,” Helena grunted. The blood dripping down from the wound tickled her skin.  
“They threw me away with the garbage.”

“Can’t say that I blame them,” Helena said and was immediately rewarded with another lash from the scalpel, this time a smaller, deeper cut just beneath her right shoulder blade.  
“You do love mouthing off, don’t you?”

“About as much as you love doing the whole ‘villain from a superhero-movie’-monologue,” Helena said. A third lash, on her left side, spanning across the length of three ribs.

“And you know what happens to garbage, eventually it’ll end up into the ocean or incinerated. I guess whoever was responsible for disposing of my corpse didn’t much care for protocol or was just stupid. Maybe my corpse was stolen. I don’t know. I can’t remember, for obvious reasons.”

“So, I take it you ended up in the ocean.”

“And from there I ended getting picked up by a young activist and his group who happened to be here attempting to put an end to unsustainable industrial fishing. Those were more innocent times, I suppose,” Wesker said and chuckled ruefully.

Helena didn’t comment. She could feel the blood slowly beginning to coagulate and cling to her navel, it felt sickeningly sticky.

“His name was Declan. I know you met him.”  
“How?” Helena exclaimed.

“I have my sources. Same sources told me about you and your sister.”  
“Don’t talk about my sister!”

“Don’t... snap... at... me!” Wesker commanded, pausing to deliver various punches across Helena’s body in-between her words.

“Now...” she breathed heavily, reaching to grip Helena’s face roughly, “...the intel provided to me mentioned that your sister’s mutation was unique which leads me to believe that there has to be something special in the building blocks that made you as well.”

“So, your plan is to infect me with the C-virus and hope for the best? You do realize I’ve been vaccinated against it, you idiot!” Helena spat.  
“Yes, against that particular _single_ strain you got your hands on over a year ago, _idiot_ ,” Wesker spat back and shoved Helena, moving to take slow steps around her, circling her once more.

“In other words, all it takes is one little mutation, a tiny variation of any kind... and your vaccination becomes obsolete.”  
“Fine, let’s say you are able to infect me—”

“I am,” Wesker interjected.

“...even if you are and even if it worked like you’re expecting it to and I go through the same transformation my sister did, what makes you think I’d work for you? Bio-weapons like that don’t come with targeting capabilities.”

“And that’s where you’re wrong. You see, my daughter... I’m sure you remember her... she went out of her way to deliver me impressively detailed files of all the research done at your agency.”

 _Jenova. She was searching for the master plaga and how they could be used to control bio-weapons. She stole Hunnigan’s computer, she had full access, she... oh, Christ, this is bad,_ Helena thought but didn’t speak; instead she focused on keeping a stoic face and trying not to let her expression show what was going on in her mind.

“Welcome to the family, baby girl.”

* * *

Even with the coordinates Leon had provided for her, it took Ada almost a week to make her way over to the base once she’d finally managed to extrapolate the exact location. She admitted it wasn’t some of her finest work and she wished she wasn’t too late. Deep down, she sincerely didn’t want to let Leon down, he was counting on her. Him and his friends all were. She didn’t care so much about what anyone else might think, but Leon... he had a special place in her heart, always would have.

She knew the feeling was mutual, but she also knew that at this point in their lives, neither one of them would do anything about it. Their time had passed. Considering everything, Ada felt it was ultimately for the better.

Based on the grandiose way this group had been introduced to her, Ada was expecting there to be a lot more manpower at their hideout but instead it appeared almost deserted, at least on the outside. Granted, she wouldn’t have wanted to patrol outside in this weather either if she was given a choice.

Frankly, she would’ve preferred running into some guards. In her experience, sometimes the best way to infiltrate a compound was to intentionally get captured. It was beginning to seem that wouldn’t be necessary.

 _Oh, now, this is just insulting,_ Ada mused to herself when she discovered that the door to the compound wasn’t even locked. Obviously they weren’t expecting guests or then they were incredibly careless. Considering their reputation, Ada had been expecting better from them either way.

She entered the building slowly and pulled off the hood from over her head once inside, readying her machine pistol in case there would be a reason to fire it, but so far everything was disturbingly quiet.

 _Finally, some action,_ Ada thought and flattened herself against the wall in the shadowy corner when she heard footsteps and the sound of wheels, leading her to deduce someone was pushing someone else on a stretcher.

“No! You... will not..! You will _not_ do this to me!” Helena’s voice echoed in the hallway as she screamed furiously. Whoever was moving her didn’t bother commenting on her outburst.

Ada heard the door close and slipped out of the shadows, sneaking along the dimly lit hall, following the light emanating through a round window on the door.

“Where’s Nadia? What have you done with her?” Helena asked the woman dressed in a long black coat. Ada couldn’t make out her face, most of it covered underneath the messy graying blonde hair.  
“Oh, don’t worry, she’s fine. I need her alive because I need to use her as a... shall we say, loyalty test.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“You get to kill her. You know, after I’ve made all the preparations, I need to test you out. Now, wait here,” the woman said and began to exit the room. Helena screamed in frustration and violently jerked against the restraints around her wrists and ankles, and strapped across her chest and midsection. Ada stepped aside from the door and once more slid into the shadows, waiting for the footsteps to slowly retreat and fall silent as the madwoman disappeared through a set of doors at the end of the hallway.

Ada hurried into the room where Helena was after she heard a loud crash and discovered Helena had managed to make the entire stretcher fall onto its side. What exactly the agent had expected to accomplish by doing that was beyond Ada. All Helena had done was hit her head on the dusty tile floor and judging from the deformed looking bulge, dislocate her shoulder.

Ada undid the ties and settled Helena to lay on her back. The impact to her head had knocked her out, but right now Ada was willing to consider that a good thing. She’d need to relocate the shoulder and she was certain that had Helena been conscious, she wouldn’t have been able to keep quiet during the process. She angled Helena’s arm properly and began to slowly pull on it until she heard and felt the humerus slide back into the socket.

“All right... now... let’s find you something to wear,” she muttered quietly and looked around the room. She spotted a few heavy work jackets hanging near the door and went to grab one. They reeked of stagnant sweat and cigarettes, they hadn’t been worn or washed in years it appeared.

“Not exactly Chanel but beats being naked in this weather,” Ada shrugged a little and went to Helena. She noticed the wounds on her torso looked raw and red with infection, discolored thick fluid covering the long lash on her abdomen. Ada would’ve preferred being able to wrap Helena up in something clean to keep from irritating the already infected wounds further, but she didn’t have any other options.

“Hold on, hun, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride,” Ada huffed and knelt down, reached to pull Helena into a sitting position and pushed herself underneath her upper body so that she could lift Helena onto her shoulders. She wrapped her arm around Helena’s thighs, beginning to carry her outside and toward the snowcat she had waiting for her, stashed behind an ice berg about half a klick away.

Once there, Ada slowly lowered Helena into the cabin and carefully covered her with blankets to keep her warm. She would’ve turned the heat on but she had no idea how long it would take her to find the other missing agent, she didn’t want to risk running out of fuel or the battery dying.

“I’ll be right back. Try not to go anywhere,” Ada smirked quietly to the unconscious woman.

She made her way back to the compound and entered silently once more, again running into no security whatsoever. The only sound she could hear was the frustrated yells from the woman she’d heard before. Apparently, she had noticed Helena was missing.

Ada made her way over and pressed the barrel of her machine pistol into the back of the woman’s neck.

“Where is Nadia Intrieri?” she asked.  
“And who the hell are you?” the woman asked.

“That’s none of your concern. Just tell me where the B.S.A.A. agent is and I’ll be on my way.”  
“You think that I would betray my children, betray my cause and just let you walk out of here? You’re delusional.”

“It seems to me like you’re the one suffering from delusions. From what I can tell, there’s only you here. Where’s your backup?” Ada asked and circled to stand in front of the woman.

There was a certain familiarity in her appearance but Ada couldn’t quite place it. She was sure she’s never seen this woman before but she couldn’t swear that she hadn’t met someone related to her. Either that, or then this woman had a doppelgänger... which in Ada’s recent experience was something she had to consider.

“Who are you?” the woman demanded to know and Ada offered a small crooked smile.  
“Let’s get one thing straight; I’m the one asking you the questions here.  How about we start with you identifying yourself.”

“I’m Irma Wesker, the one who is going to reset the planet and give it back to the ones it belongs to.”

 _Wesker? Well, that explains a thing or two,_ Ada mused but didn’t let her realization or the mild shock following it show on her face.

“Hm,” she smirked instead, “I doubt you’ll be resetting anything anytime soon. Now... where is Nadia Intrieri? Don’t make me shoot you.”  
Wesker didn’t speak. Instead, she pressed her forehead against the muzzle of Ada’s machine pistol, her act silent but simultaneously speaking volumes of her defiance.

“Are there many guards on the way?”  
Wesker scoffed.

“They’re everywhere. You’ll never make it out of here alive.”  
“Maybe I’ll just take you with me for insurance.”

“Do I look like I’m threatened by your gun? No. What more do you think you have on me, what makes you believe you have what it takes to convince me to help you in any way?” Wesker laughed.

“Well... I could shoot your spine to pulp and paralyze you for life in the process. Or, maybe I’ll just shoot you in the stomach and watch you bleed out slowly. I hear it’s one of the worst ways to go,” Ada listed but Wesker didn’t seem to care.

“Fine, so what are you gonna do, huh? What!” she laughed. Ada inhaled and exhaled deeply through her nose, tilting her head to the side, pretending to think about it.

“You know what? You’re not even worth it,” she said, reached to grab Wesker’s arm and yanked it behind her back. She shoved the woman forward and proceeded to handcuff her into the pipe running along the concrete wall that was covered in moisture and mold.

“I’ll just find agent Intrieri and we’ll be on our way, you can stay here and wait until you starve or until the compound is raided and you’ll be up to your eyeballs in B.S.A.A. agents holding a grudge,” Ada smiled sweetly and exited the room without looking back.

***


	46. Dementia

“I feel terrible,” Olivia muttered, slumping so low in her chair she could repeatedly bump her head against the kitchen table at Hunnigan and Helena’s house. Lucy sighed a little and rolled her eyes at the dramatics. She reached to place her hand palm up between Olivia’s forehead and the table to soften the blows (not that softening them was really necessary).

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she said, surprising Olivia with the comment. She was the last person on the planet Olivia had expected to take her side or show any sympathy. She had to once again admit that she’d misjudged the young woman when she’d made her assessment of her personality the first time.

“I was the one who coordinated the mission and picked the agent for it, this is all my fault,” Olivia said. “You must hate me right now,” she then said to Hunnigan.

“I don’t hate you, Liv. I’m not mad at you, I’m not holding you responsible. You did everything right. You chose an agent best suited for the mission, you did your job and you did it well. Believe me, this isn’t your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault,” Hunnigan said and she meant it. “Now, if you’re done feeling sorry for yourself, I could use some support too, you see, my wife’s been missing in action for over a week,” she then reminded Olivia unnecessarily and smirked a little.

“Oh, God, I’m sorry. Jesus, what is wrong with me?” Olivia scoffed at herself. “What do you need?” she then asked.

“I need... something else to focus on. Like why is Kosmin so interested in my comings and goings all of a sudden,” Hunnigan muttered.

“Yeah, he does seem to be investigating you,” Olivia pursed her lips as she thought about it.

“Well, investigate him back,” Lucy scoffed the obvious solution.

“You’re right,” Hunnigan said to her and got up, heading to her study, abandoning her mug of tea on the kitchen table. Olivia and Lucy followed behind her. Once there, Hunnigan got to work and Olivia took a seat by the sidetable, leaning her elbow to it, glancing down and noticing a piece of paper with a medical looking logo peeking out from underneath a stack of folders.

Olivia tugged on the corner a little to expose more of the paper. She felt only a little guilty about snooping, the feeling overshadowed by her curiosity and the need to know. Hunnigan had said she’d been seeing a doctor, what kind of doctor and why was something Olivia hadn’t gotten out of Hunnigan yet.

 _Doctor Andromeda Traynor,_ Olivia read from the top corner of the letter and then left it at that. She committed the name to memory and decided she’d do a search on it later.

“So, let’s say Kosmin is out to get you. Why would he do that, what’s his motive?” Lucy asked.

“There’s been talk that the President is looking to appoint Hunnigan as the new director of the D.S.O., apparently she’s not been pleased with the way Kosmin has ran things,” Olivia answered. She hadn’t heard any facts, neither had Hunnigan, but such rumors didn’t feel far-fetched.

“So, what, it’s all about his fragile male ego?” Lucy quirked an eyebrow.  
“No, it’s about Kosmin possibly being The Family’s plant at the agency, if he loses his job as director, The Family loses their mole and their foothold in the agency,” Hunnigan deduced.

“Bingo, so he’s probably looking for proof of treason... which you technically committed when you lied in your report about Leon and Helena’s deaths back when they fled Tall Oaks,” Olivia muttered uncomfortably. Hunnigan inhaled deeply and let it out in a long loud exhale.

“If that’s the case, I’ll probably need a lawyer,” she mumbled. She humphed in annoyance when her phone rang and startled her.

“Hunnigan,” she answered and both Olivia and Lucy frowned at the way her expression changed when she listened to whoever was calling.

“I’ll be right there. Thank you,” Hunnigan ended the call abruptly and stood up in a hurry.  
“What’s going on?” Olivia called out as she hurried after her.

“That was Jill Valentine. They found Helena.”

* * *

“We were led to believe that the ship we were after was ‘an ark’-ship, stocked full of every variant of the viruses, stolen from labs across the country during natural disasters or terrorist attacks when the labs were in chaos,” Jill began her off the record-debrief to Hunnigan. Had it been up to her, it could’ve waited for another place and another time, but Hunnigan insisted.

They stood outside the hospital room where Helena was, still unconsious, receiving antibiotics intravenously to treat the infection she’d gotten after her open wounds had been exposed to bacteria. Hunnigan hadn’t even been in her room yet. Nadia was there, though, and Jill thought it was curious, but didn’t mention it. Frankly, she was just glad to see everyone was still alive.

“And?” Hunnigan asked.

“It wasn’t an ark, there were no viruses, there was nothing, it was just a pirate ship. Wesker is delusional, probably suffering from some kind of a disease that affects memory. We haven’t been able to interrogate her properly.”

“That’s inconvenient,” Hunnigan muttered. Jill nodded.

“Wesker was a failed experiment done by Umbrella. She was presumed dead and discarted, but the former head of Jenova discovered her alive and looked after her until she recovered; eventually, they became like the Bonnie and Clyde of radical environmental activism and bio-terrorism. They took over research plants all over the world, salvaged ships, did everything from protesting simple logging projects to blowing up chemical plants,” Jill went on, expecting Hunnigan to lose her interest and hurry over to her wife, but she didn’t. Jill wasn’t sure what to think of that.

The way she’d overheard Helena speak of Hunnigan hadn’t implied she’d be this indifferent. Jill understood better than most that in a crisis, you did what was for the good of the many, even if that meant abandoning your partner. But right now, the crisis was over, this could’ve waited, Hunnigan could’ve gone to Helena and yet, she did not. It seemed a bit cold. Then again, Jill knew what it was like to protect oneself from pain by stubbornly remaining in the cool and calm professional-mode.

“Wesker was... _is_ convinced she’s still in charge of this fleet of pirates and activists like she was back in the mid-nineties. She is convinced she’s trying to save the world from the apocalypse. There are moments of clarity, but minutes later, she has no memory of where she is and why. When we try to interrogate her, she shuts down and mutters something about how she was taught not to talk to strangers. Other times she’s angry and keeps calling me ‘Jenny’ and telling me that I’m going to receive a spanking from daddy because I won’t do as she says,” Jill sighed.

“Jenny was her daughter,” Hunnigan muttered and Jill nodded again.  
“Either way... knowing this, I’m sure you can see why the interrogation isn’t going anywhere.”

“Are we sure she’s not just putting on an act?”  
“If it’s an act, it’s a very convincing one.”

“So you still don’t know who armed Jenova,” Hunnigan said, changing the subject slightly, her tone somewhat accusatory, like she'd expected Jill to have figured this all out by now. Jill heard it but decided to let it slide... for now.

“There’s a lot we don’t know. Like who provided us with the exact location of Wesker’s hideout or who dropped Helena and Nadia off here,” Jill said, having no other choice but to assume it had to have been someone involved with Hunnigan or her D.S.O. team in some way.

“What _do_ you know, in addition to what you’ve told me already?”  
“I know Wesker was interested in Helena because of the way the C-virus reacted to her sister. Had it not been for that detail, she might have just executed Helena and Nadia on sight. Blessing in disguise, huh?” Jill offered.

“I suppose,” Hunnigan muttered, her words directed at Jill but her attention finally drawn to Helena. Jill noticed the way her eyebrows drew together at something she spotted and gave a sideways glance through the window and into the room as well. Nadia had reached out to grip Helena’s hand.

“The question ‘who provided the intel to Jenova’ still remains,” Jill said slowly and Hunnigan returned her attention to her then.  
“It does for now. I intend to find out the answer,” she said

“Oh, I almost forgot. Here,” Jill then said and dug into the side-pocket of her tan cargo pants. She fished out two pieces of jewelry and handed them to Hunnigan. Helena’s wedding ring and a golden necklace, a small crucifix hanging on the thin chain. A gift Helena had gotten from Sister Sterling for her confirmation once upon a time.

“She kept those in a locker on the ship while out on missions. Probably didn’t want to risk losing them.”  
“Thank you,” Hunnigan muttered and closed her fist around the objects.

“For what it’s worth... I’m sorry. Had I not been in a hurry to prove to everyone that I could do this after being forced to stay in rehab for such a long time, I would’ve waited longer to confirm the intel. This was my campaign and I screwed it up by hurrying too much. This is my fault. I’m sorry,” Jill said, her voice barely audible. Hunnigan was about to comment but was interrupted by Nadia who suddenly burst out from the room.

“We need help here!” she yelled and when Jill looked back to Helena, she saw the agent was convulsing violently on the bed, her eyes now open but seemingly not really seeing anything, her face expressionless.

Hunnigan had already taken a step toward the room when Jill gripped her arm and shook her head to silently tell her not to go there. The hospital staff rushed into the room and shut the door behind them, attending to Helena.

“Let go of my arm or you will lose your hand,” Hunnigan warned Jill who loosened her grip slowly afterward.

“She’s having a seizure, there’s nothing you can do, best to stay out of the way,” she reasoned and she could see from the look on Hunnigan’s face that she knew Jill was right but it didn’t do anything to make the urge to run to her loved one’s side fade off.

 

***


	47. Res Ipsa Loquitur

Hunnigan sat in front of the committee and listened to Kosmin explain to them why he felt the case should be reopened. Hunnigan bit her tongue to keep from straight out telling him to go fuck himself. This was the last place she wanted to be right now. She should’ve been at the hospital by Helena’s side, or at the office, coordinating with the B.S.A.A. to close the case on Jenova once and for all. But no, she was stuck here, having to listen to Kosmin drone on about what should’ve been considered ancient history. They’d been here for over two hours, going in circles. Fortunately, her lawyer, Miranda Chastain, was growing equally impatient.

“I’m hearing a lot of speculation but I’m being presented with no evidence against my client. Is there an actual reason why we’re here?” Chastain inquired. She had compelling good looks, deep blue eyes and thick black hair, her voice commanding and smooth with a hint of an accent, probably Australian, but Hunnigan wasn’t entirely certain. Chastain wasn’t provocative or shameless, but she wasn’t hiding her figure either. If someone took it upon themselves to get distracted by her physical architechture, it was their problem, not hers. She reminded Hunnigan of Helena in a lot of ways.

 _Stop staring,_ Hunnigan told herself mentally and turned her attention away from Chastain.

“For one, it’s common knowledge that agent Hunnigan provided false intel regarding the status of agents Kennedy and Harper during the Tall Oaks incident,” Kosmin began the old argument.

“Again, where’s the evidence? When the sterilization missiles hit Tall Oaks, my client had all the reason to presume agents Harper and Kennedy killed in action; agent Kennedy and Harper’s reports reflect that statement, at no point do they mention remaining in contact with my client after the destruction of Tall Oaks,” Chastain said. It wasn’t an entire lie.

“And you maintain that you didn’t assist in the agents’ escape from the U.S. under false identities? Agent Hunnigan, were you harboring two agents who were, at the time, considered to be domestic terrorists?” Kosmin kept insisting. Chastain sighed in exasperation.

“The agents and my client were cleared from all allegations made against them when the investigation regarding the incident closed, it’s becoming painfully obvious we’re here because of one man’s personal vendetta against my client, and frankly, I find this kind of misuse of the system appalling and a waste of time,” Chastain said and to emphasize her point, she slammed the folder in front of her shut.

“I won’t stand for another second of this persecution!” Hunnigan finally snapped furiously. Chastain glanced at her but knew better than to try telling her to calm down.

“My record is impeccable, that’s a fact we all know already! Frankly, I’m convinced _you_ were put here to spy on _us_ and relay intel back to The Family since Simmons became useless to them! I don’t recall seeing your credentials and recommendations, you just showed up conveniently to stick your nose into everyone’s business!” Hunnigan yelled.

She regretted saying the last part, she hadn’t meant to voice out her suspicions regarding Kosmin’s motives openly, at least not before she had solid evidence against him. Now she’d made him aware of her suspicions which would allow him to destroy evidence or go into ground. Then again, maybe it would spook him into making a mistake.

Frankly, starting this proceeding was probably his biggest mistake, maybe he’d been forced to go ahead with insufficient means to pull off smoking Hunnigan out of the agency. The question was, who’d put him up to it and why now.

“Agent Hunnigan, if you care about your career, you will think very carefully about the next words that come out of your mouth,” Kosmin warned sternly and Hunnigan narrowed her eyes at him.  
“Enough! Both of you, knock this crap off immediately!” the chairman chimed in agitatedly, looking annoyed and bored. Hunnigan figured he didn’t want to be here either.

“All right, since this isn’t going anywhere, let’s take a moment to discuss your connection to a former Umbrella-employee,” Kosmin then said.  
“Excuse me?” Hunnigan frowned, genuinely confused.

“Doctor Andromeda Traynor. You’ve been seeing her a lot recently,” Kosmin said and held up a folder which apparently contained all his intel on Hunnigan.  
“You’ve gone through my medical records?” Hunnigan scoffed and he shook his head.

“No, but doctor Traynor is on our watchlist for obvious reasons and her activities are closely monitored. You’ve been visiting her offices quite a lot recently. Care to explain that?”  
“You don’t have to answer that,” Chastain advised.

“I wasn’t aware of doctor Traynor’s affiliation with Umbrella,” Hunnigan answered despite Chastain’s comment.  
“You admit to being involved with her?” Kosmin asked, seeming honestly surprised he’d gotten an answer.

“Yes, but it has nothing to do with Umbrella,” Hunnigan said. _I hope_ , she added mentally.  
“Then what does it have to do with?” Kosmin pushed.

“That is a private matter and my client is under no obligation to answer to you regarding it,” Chastain interjected, but Kosmin ignored her.  
“Doesn’t doctor Traynor specialize in reproductive science?”

“Yes, but that’s—”  
“Did she promise you a baby in return for looking the other way when it comes to her reasearch? A flesh bribe, shall we say?”

“You are out of line!” Chastain shouted, standing up furiously. Hunnigan couldn’t even think of a way to begin answering his question even if she’d wanted to. She admitted, the thought had never occurred to her, but she hadn’t known Traynor used to work for Umbrella, had she known, then maybe... but that wasn’t possible, she’d had Chastain go through the paperwork to ensure it was legitimate, and she’d read it through herself; from what she’d understood, it had all been okay. The last thing she needed was to find out about some loophole that Traynor and a bunch of Umbrella-goons could use to legally take her child and use her for their experiments.

“I think we’re done here!” Chastain snapped and began gathering her papers, shoving them agitatedly into her briefcase.  
“I agree,” one of the committee members said, the woman next to him nodding in agreement as well.

“The case remains closed,” the chairman finally said. “Frankly, director Kosmin, I expected a solid case from you, not a pointless witch hunt,” he then added. Hunnigan couldn’t tell if it was his way of agreeing with what Chastain had said about this being a waste of time, or if it was his way of telling Kosmin to be more thorough before the next time he’d attempt ending Hunnigan’s career.

“Thank you,” Hunnigan then said to Chastain once they were finally out of the room and headed toward the elevators.  
“You okay? He threw a lot of fire at you.”

“I’m fine, I just don’t understand what he’s hoping to accomplish here.”  
“I don’t either, this was the biggest bullshit-show I’ve seen seen in a long time. Maybe he was hoping you’d slip up under the pressure and admit to something,” Chastain suggested.

“He should know better. I can’t help but feel like I just got played somehow.”  
“I wouldn’t know, this agency’s internal affairs give me a bigger headache than the C.I.A.’s does,” Chastain chuckled when the elevator arrived.

“Call me if you need anything,” she then said and stepped in.  
“Will do. Thanks again,” Hunnigan nodded. The door slid closed and Chastain disappeared behind them.

Hunnigan stood still for a long moment, trying to decide what to do next. On one hand, she wanted to confront Traynor about her connection to Umbrella. On the other, she wanted to arrange to have someone tail Kosmin to see what he was up to, if he’d make a run for it after the accusation Hunnigan had just made against him. She decided to delegate.

“Olivia. Any chance you could arrange a tail on someone for me?”

* * *

Hunnigan was in the waiting room, surprised to see that she was the only one there. She hadn’t heard anything new about Helena’s condition despite having been away for a few hours. The only thing the nurses had been able to tell her was that Helena was still in the operating room and that a neurosurgical team was operating on her.

The door opened and Hunnigan turned to look. She felt like her heart froze over in a flash and began to shatter when she saw her mother follow the doctor who entered the room. Alix was a medical examiner, after all, known best for speaking for the dead patients rather than the living. She seemed to notice the effect her presence had on Hunnigan and she hurried to inform her that she wasn’t there on official business.

“Helena’s out of surgery. We had to perform a craniotomy to repair the bleeding in her brain,” the doctor said.  
“Will she recover?”

“I’m optimistic, her vitals are strong despite the infection she had going in. But... of course, there are no guarantees, we’ll know better once she regains consciousness, and that could take a while, she’s in a coma for a reason, it’s best to let her rest and recover. It’s in God’s hands now,” he said and Hunnigan scoffed. She would’ve grabbed him by the collar of his coat had Alix not managed to intervene and push back against her to stop her.

“You are a medical professional and you have the audacity to stand there and tell me it’s in God’s hands, like that’s supposed to make me feel better!” she yelled, and he frowned at her reaction.  
“Jimmy...” Alix said quietly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend.”  
“I think we can all agree that things are a bit intense now. The important thing is, Helena is going to be okay,” Alix said. Hunnigan took a step back and scoffed again.

“Yeah, no thanks to God.”  
“I’ll inform you as soon as we know more. Helena’s in the recovery room, you can go see her if you wish,” the doctor said and with that, he exited the waiting room.

“What was that about?” Alix then asked Hunnigan when they were alone in the room.  
“I don’t know, there’s just a lot on my mind and his comment was ridiculous and badly timed.”

“Well, maybe he made his comment because of this,” Alix suggested and reached to touch the small golden crucifix hanging on a thin chain around Hunnigan’s neck. “Never expected to see one on you again. Not since Liam...”

“It’s Helena’s,” Hunnigan interrupted, not interested in discussing her reasons for her lack of faith. “I didn’t want to lose it, she’ll want it back.”

“I figured, but... maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try things her way,” Alix smiled and sat down, Hunnigan following her example, not bothering to argue, certain that Alix knew better too; little children would be building snowmen in hell before Ingrid Hunnigan would pray to everyone’s favorite misogynistic imaginary friend.

“So, you wanna tell me what’s going on with you?” Alix inquired.

“My boss is hell bent on having me charged with treason, and he’s walking around trying to convince people I’m somehow affiliated with Umbrella because of an experiment I took part in... an experiment ran by a former Umbrella-employee,” Hunnigan said slowly, glaring at Alix.

“Oh.”  
“Yeah, ‘oh’. You could’ve told me Traynor worked for the most notorious pharmaceutical company on the planet.”

“Considering that Umbrella manufactured everything from bio-weapons to noodles and soft drinks, a lot of people worked for Umbrella or did internships with them, your nemesis is just trying to stir shit up, he’s obviously grasping at straws,” Alix dismissed. Hunnigan sighed. Alix had a point, but still, this was yet another shitstorm Hunnigan did not need right now.

“For a while there, I stupidly believed I could have a normal life. I should’ve seen this coming,” she muttered and Alix put her arm around Hunnigan’s shoulders, squeezing her tightly.  
“It’ll be all right. One way or another. Trust me.”

“I wish I shared your confidence,” Hunnigan said. “And there’s another thing that bothers me,” she then added, tilting her head to the side and resting it on Alix’s shoulder. She hadn’t realized just how much she’d needed a hug until now.

“Which is?” Alix mumbled against the top of Hunnigan’s head.  
“The B.S.A.A. agent, Nadia Intrieri. She was in Helena’s room when I got here yesterday. She was holding Helena’s hand.”

“You think something happened between them?” Alix frowned and Hunnigan shrugged one shoulder a little. She couldn’t say. She didn’t actually think that holding someone’s hand was that big of a deal, but something about it bothered her regardless.

“I certainly hope nothing happened, but I don’t know. Seemed to me that they’d gotten rather close.”

“Maybe they did but that doesn’t mean anything tawdry happened. Helena doesn’t come across as someone who’d cheat,” Alix said and Hunnigan had to agree, she’d never gotten that feeling about Helena either, on the contrary; Helena had always been loyal and also honest about everything, she’d never given Hunnigan any reason to doubt her devotion... but the way Nadia had behaved made her feel uncomfortable. Not insecure exactly but somewhat suspicious.

“Maybe you should just straight up ask Nadia about it before you drive yourself crazy by overthinking it?” Alix suggested and as usual, she made a valid argument.  
“I’ll ask Helena... later,” Hunnigan said and they both fell silent for a long while, the hum of the vending machine in the corner almost drowning out the ticking of the clock.

“Since you brought Andromeda up...” Alix then spoke. Hunnigan didn’t ask, just sat up straight and glanced over.  
“Andi was always brilliant, I’d be amazed if Umbrella hadn’t tried recruiting her back then, but you have to believe me, she’s not with them. She’s my friend, I know her, and I wouldn’t have referred you to her if I had any reason to think she has anything to do with Umbrella,” Alix said.

“I know, and I believe you. I just wish you’d told me.”  
“I hadn’t even thought about it, and I doubt she had either. Like I said, it was a long time ago, a lot of my colleagues worked for Umbrella or some of their branches at some point. It doesn’t make them bad people.”

“I know,” Hunnigan repeated, noticing Alix was quick to defend the woman. “You sound like you really admire her.”  
“More than that,” Alix said softly, smiling warmly. “But it was a long time ago.”

“Wait. What was?” Hunnigan frowned.  
“Well... as you know, Lance and I couldn’t have kids of our own, but we certainly tried... to the point of sex becoming a chore, only slightly more fun and enjoyable than doing the dishes,” Alix began and Hunnigan groaned internally. She regretted asking.

“Do you really need to tell me this?”  
“I do, and if you’re worried about this Nadia-person and Helena, you’ll understand why I’m telling you this.”

“All right, fine. Go on.”

“Lance and I had been fighting over some stupid thing that wasn’t even the real reason we were fighting, and we were driving each other nuts, so I went to Andi to talk about it. Long story short, she was drunk, I was cute, things happened.”

“Charming,” Hunnigan drawled.  
“I’m joking, we weren’t drunk. But, the fact is, I did cheat on Lance.”

“Not what I was hoping to hear if you’re trying to make me feel better about my suspicions regarding Helena and Nadia,” Hunnigan grumbled. She’d never thought Alix would be the type to cheat, just like she didn’t think Helena would be either, but apparently, that wasn’t a guarantee.

“It happened, but not because I’d stopped loving Lance or stopped wanting him. It was a mistake prompted by a series of emotionally devastating events and bad circumstances. Now, I’m not going to pretend I didn’t enjoy it. Hell, I slept with Andi for weeks before coming to the conclusion that Lance is the love of my life.”

“Again, I don’t see your point. Does dad know?”  
“Know? Honey, he filmed the sex tape.”

“You are ruining sex for me.”  
“I’m kidding!”

“I’m not amused!”

“He knows,” Alix said more seriously, “and my point is that I made a stupid mistake, I hurt him because I hurt inside and I missed him. But it didn’t mean the end of Lance and I because we weren’t willing to throw away everything we had over one mistake. You see what I’m saying?”

“That if everything I have with Helena is worth holding onto, I should forgive and forget, yeah, pretty straight-forward,” Hunnigan muttered.

“Forgive, don’t forget. But, yeah. And, if it’s any consolation, look at how well Lance and I work together now even despite what I did. It wasn’t enough to break everything beyond repair because we didn’t let it. He didn’t let it.”

“Yes, I get it, mom, thank you,” Hunnigan said tersely.  
“Okay. Besides, there’s a chance this conversation is moot anyway, I don’t honestly think Helena did anything questionable with Nadia,” Alix shrugged.

“Andi’s the only woman I’ve ever been sexually attracted to, is that strange?” she then asked and Hunnigan sighed deeply. This conversation was too frank for her liking.

* * *

“Is everything all right?” doctor Traynor inquired after noticing the way Hunnigan was regarding her, her demeanor not exactly hostile but definitely cool toward Traynor.  
“Is it true that you used to work for Umbrella?”

“Oh,” Traynor sighed a little and undid the cuff around Hunnigan’s arm, shutting the blood pressure monitor down. She seemed to have gotten used to people eventually finding out about it and questioning her integrity because of it.

“Yes, I was employed by them at one point, but I didn’t know they were manufacturing bio-weapons and I certainly had nothing to do with that,” Traynor said and gestured toward the examination table on the far end of the room.

“It’s not something I’m proud to have on my record, it’s earned me a spot on every damn watchlist in the country which means I get harassed a lot,” Traynor continued as Hunnigan settled to lie down on the table, the paper sheet covering it crinkling as she did.

“All right,” Hunnigan commented and tugged on her shirt to reveal her abdomen.  
“Is that a problem?” Traynor inquired as she squeezed a generous amount of the cool and sticky gel onto Hunnigan’s skin.

Hunnigan couldn’t say, maybe it should’ve been a problem, but it was a bit late for that. She honestly didn’t give a damn right now. Frankly, the disturbing mental image of her mother making out with Traynor was more of a problem to Hunnigan right now than Traynor’s history with Umbrella was.

“No. It doesn’t matter,” Hunnigan decided. Traynor nodded and turned her attention to the screen. Hunnigan looked over as well, but she had to admit she couldn’t tell what she was looking at exactly or how to interpret the ultra sound image, to her it was just a black and gray mess. Traynor turned to Hunnigan and smiled.

“That little tadpole right there is your baby,” she said, pointing at a tiny dot that wasn’t bigger than just a few millimeters.  
“It worked,” Hunnigan breathed in disbelief and Traynor chuckled a little at her reaction.

“Congratulations, you’re going to be a mother.”

***


	48. Ever dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the "smutty/weird/futa/dreamland" chapter, and it features some nsfw art, so beware. :)

_This isn’t real,_ Helena thought but she didn’t know why the thought occurred to her in the first place.

“I told you to not let it get serious, I told you to get laid and get out, but you wouldn’t listen,” Deborah sighed as she walked beside Helena toward the club Helena had reluctantly agreed to go to with her. She didn’t really feel like it, but as Deborah had pointed out, sulking alone over Ryan wouldn’t do her any good either.

“Yes, and you also already said ‘I told you so’. I just... I don’t do one night stands, and I didn’t mind it getting serious.”

“Yeah, but if you’d listened to me when I said Ryan’s not long-term girlfriend material and that you shouldn’t try making it work beyond occasionally having sex with her, we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” Deborah reminded her once again.

“I made a mistake and you’ve made it abundantly clear that I did, no need to keep repeating it, I feel bad enough as it is.”

“So, what happened exactly, anyway?” Deborah asked. They were finally at the club and went to stand at the end of the line. Deborah had mentioned a musician named Ingrid who’d apparently made her scheduled comeback after finishing another semester at university. Helena didn’t know who that was or why it was such a big deal, and she’d said as much to Deborah. She’d just laughed and told her that of course she didn’t know what was going on here, she’d only just gotten back from her third tour in Afghanistan, it was no wonder she knew nothing about what was happening locally. But, judging from the line outside the club, it appeared that this Ingrid was quite popular.

“I made a cake.”  
“You monster,” Deborah smirked.

“And then Ryan locked herself in the bedroom and screamed at me that I’m one of those horrible ‘feeders’ who want their partners fat, and then she told me to get the fuck out, so I left. I haven’t spoken to her since.”  
“You sound relieved.”

“Well, I’m sorry, but in a way, I am,” Helena confessed.  
“You have every right to be,” Deborah comforted, putting her hand over Helena’s shoulder and squeezing it. “I know how difficult she can be, she was my roommate for two years.”

“So, why did you set me up with her in the first place?”  
“I just wanted you both to get laid so you’d stop being so uptight about everything,” Deborah smirked, “I couldn’t have known you’d do something stupid like fall in love with her.”

“Right,” Helena sighed.

“Now, stop sulking. We’re gonna go see a great gig and you are going to forget about Ryan for a while at least,” Deborah said excitedly when they were let into the club. Helena doubted it would go as smoothly as Deborah seemed to believe it would, but she was willing to give it a shot.

She headed over to the bar and bought herself three shots of whiskey and a pint of beer, and a virgin piña colada for Deborah. She downed the shots right there at the bar and took the pint back to the table where Deborah was sitting and waiting for her to come back. She could tell the younger sister was disappointed receiving a non-alcoholic beverage, but Helena didn’t apologize. Deborah was still under twenty-one and would just have to deal with it. Not that being underage had stopped her from drinking before, but Helena wasn’t going to help her with it.

Shortly after, the band got on the small stage in the front of the room. Nina was the lead guitarist, her brother Liam the vocalist and backup guitarist, followed by Aria, the drummer whose hair was bright blue, and finally, the much-anticipated bassist, Ingrid, walked up to the stage, accompanied by near-hysterical cheers.

Helena didn’t know how or why but she recognized them all, but when she saw Ingrid, she felt her heart skip a beat before it felt like it dropped to the floor. She was dressed casually in a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt, her brown hair hanging over her shoulders, curling at the ends a little. She was beautiful in a way Helena found irresistible. It wasn’t like her to feel like this about people she didn’t know... but at the same time she felt like she _did_ know her, very intimately and very personally.

 _Why?_ Helena questioned herself once more, unable to come up with any answers. She could’ve sworn she knew all these people from somewhere but it made no sense because she didn’t know them. The band began to play their set of cover songs and Helena could honestly say she’d never paid as much attention to the bass player of any band as she did tonight. She noticed that the feeling seemed to be mutual; Ingrid was looking right back.

 _I’m imagining it, she’s a performer, she’s supposed to pay attention to the audience,_ Helena thought.

The time for the last song on the set came all too soon.

“Since we have Ingrid back, we can finally play everyone’s favorite,” Liam said into the microphone and Nina began the slow intro to Red Hot Chili Peppers’ song _Tell me baby,_ and the crowd seemed to go insane. Helena could see why, the band certainly did the song justice.

 _Okay, I’m_ not _imagining it,_ Helena thought when Ingrid made direct eye contact during the chorus while singing, or at least mouthing, the lyrics. Helena felt herself blush.

“Yo, close your legs, that’s unseemly,” Deborah laughed over the music and sipped her drink, the alcoholic one she’d managed to get from the bar herself since no one had bothered to ID her. Helena frowned at the comment and looked down to understand what the hell Deborah was talking about.

 _This isn’t real_ , the thought registered somewhere in the back of her mind again when she realized she had an erection. It couldn’t be real, how the hell could it, she wasn’t a guy. 

“Don’t worry, it’s just a manifestation of your desire to get her pregnant,” Deborah smiled knowingly.  
“What!” Helena questioned. She couldn’t have heard that right. Deborah didn’t repeat herself nor did she explain further, she just turned her attention to someone behind Helena, and she turned too.

“Ingrid sent this,” the barmaid (whose name was Olivia, and Helena didn’t know why she knew that) said when she reached to put a tall rum and coke on the table. Helena crossed her legs awkwardly and offered a small smile to Olivia.

“Thank you... and tell Ingrid thanks for me,” she then said.  
“Oh, I think you can thank her in person if you wish,” Olivia winked and slipped her a black card. “Show this to Leon and he’ll let you to the back of the bar,” Olivia then instructed, nodding to the side to indicate the man behind the bar.

“All right... thanks,” Helena cleared her throat and Olivia went back to work. Ingrid was still on stage, performing the last part of the song. She glanced over and Helena raised the glass, smiled and took a sip.

* * *

The backroom of the bar was where Ingrid apparently lived, the small space lit dimly, a pile of various pillows serving as a bed. There was no kitchen and the bathroom was smaller than a shoebox. But none of that mattered, the place was comfortable regardless, home-like in its slight disarray.

Intellectually, Helena knew she couldn’t possibly be in this situation and feel the way she did, yet here she was. Taken over by her desire to be with a woman she swore she knew despite also knowing she’d never met her before. A woman she felt herself deeply in love with despite having known her for barely five minutes.

Ingrid pushed Helena onto the pillows and straddled her hips, her legs wrapping around Helena’s waist as she tugged on the hem of her shirt and peeled it off of herself. Helena flattened her palm against Ingrid’s back, slowly sliding the other one up to brush against the side of her right breast, her thumb finding its way over to stroke the hardening nipple as she brought her mouth over to the side of the other, trailing her mouth on the soft underside, slowly rising higher and finally enclosing her lips around the nipple, running her tongue over it in gentle lashes, eliciting several quiet moans from Ingrid.

Not long after that, Helena found herself being pushed again, this time Ingrid pressed her palm against Helena’s chest to urge her to lie down, and she did. She got rid of her jeans and then focused on doing the same to Helena’s, tugging the clothing off of her.

 _Well, that’s not terrible_ , Helena mused sheepishly as she glanced down and found herself endowed with a cock that she estimated to be around six inches in length and two in girth. She had to admit that the sight of the thick cock was oddly appealing when it was her own; had it not been, she would’ve found it rather repulsing.

Ingrid moved to straddle her once more, leaning to kiss Helena deeply, running her tongue over Helena’s lower lip before tugging on it with her teeth. She kept her hips elevated, careful not to make contact with Helena’s just yet. She could feel the warmth radiating from Ingrid and groaned a little at the feel of her being so close but still too far. She barely resisted the urge to thrust her hips upward and press into her because somehow she knew Ingrid would move away before she ever made it. Instead, she put her arms around Ingrid and caressed her back in long, slow strokes, appreciating the smooth feel of Ingrid’s bronzed skin underneath her palms.

She brought her hands up and over to cup Ingrid’s breasts for a moment, then tentatively moved them down along her body, to her abdomen, sliding past her navel and stopping between her legs. Helena slightly parted the lips and let her finger glide along the middle, playing with the copious amount of wetness she discovered and spread over Ingrid’s clit, making her tremble a little. She gripped Helena’s hand and pulled it out of the way before lowering her hips, pressing her slick lips firmly against Helena’s cock which stood hard against her abdomen.

“Oh, God,” Helena breathed when Ingrid ground against her, coating her cock with wetness. She gripped Ingrid’s hips and sat back up again, her cock twitching against Ingrid’s clit as she leaned to kiss her, closing her eyes and focusing on the feeling of Ingrid pressed against her, her arms around Helena’s shoulders, the way her breath tasted, the quiet hums and moans she made.

“I want you inside me,” Ingrid breathed heatedly and Helena was more than happy to oblige. She gripped the shaft of her cock to hold it steady and guided herself in as Ingrid slowly lowered herself onto it.

“Oh, fuck,” Helena choked when she felt herself engulfed in wet heat, Ingrid’s inner muscles clenching around her, squeezing with gentle tightness that made Helena feel dazed and breathless.

Ingrid leaned into Helena, urging her to lie down on her back and she gave in, letting Ingrid take charge. She rocked her hips up and down, settling into a rhythm Helena liked, almost as if she’d read her mind. She buried her face into the side of Helena’s neck, her hands gripping Helena’s shoulders as she moved, her breathing turned into quiet moans and whimpers of pleasure. Helena groaned at the sounds right beside her ear, her arms wrapping tightly around Ingrid’s midsection as she hugged her to herself, pressing their chests together tightly.

“I’m not gonna last for long,” Helena confessed, beginning to feel overwhelmed by the unfamiliar fire pooling in the pit of her stomach.  
“It’s okay,” Ingrid murmured and quickened the pace once more.

“Are you sure, I mean—” Helena began to say but couldn’t finish the sentence, her words dissolving into an incoherent grunt.  
“You can finish in my pussy,” Ingrid assured in a breathy whisper.

“Oh, fuck,” Helena huffed again into Ingrid’s shoulder as her words sent a shockwave of exhilaration tearing through her. She gripped Ingrid’s hips firmly and thrust her own upward as she pulled Ingrid down, her movements rapidly becoming more demanding and frantic, but Ingrid didn’t seem to mind. She slipped her hand between their bodies and brought her fingers over to her clit, rubbing it in rough circles, sending her quickly toward release.

Helena cried out something unintelligible when Ingrid came, clenching and constricting around Helena’s cock, drawing her into a climax, her body jerking and tensing before shattering in explosive pleasure.

Ingrid stayed on top of her until her shudders ceased before moving to lay next to Helena, gently pulling her into an embrace, running her hand through Helena’s hair and nuzzling the top of her head.

“I love you,” Helena mumbled against the skin of Ingrid’s chest.

art created by [Oceanmyhope](https://imgur.com/1biHESj), view in full size [here](https://imgur.com/1biHESj)

* * *

 

  
“Nice to hear,” a voice responded, but it wasn’t Ingrid’s. Helena drew back and realized she was embracing a brunette she recognized but knew wasn’t the one she should’ve been with right now.

“What’s wrong?” Nadia asked when Helena sat up abruptly.  
“Nothing, I just... was I... or, were you..?” she stuttered, unable to word the question.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Nadia frowned.

“I have to go,” Helena said and stood up. She didn’t know how or when, but, evidently, at some point she’d gotten her clothes on. She didn’t recall getting dressed. It didn’t matter. She stepped outside the room but instead of ending up at the bar where she’d entered from, she found herself standing in the laundry room of the apartment she shared with Ryan.

“Hellooo? Are you listening to me? I need that shirt, didn’t you wash it?” Ryan demanded to know as she ran a brush through her blonde hair in rapid, agitated movements.  
“I did the whites yesterday, if you needed the shirt washed, you should’ve brought it in,” Helena said.

“Well, how the fuck was I supposed to know I would want it today?” Ryan scowled and disappeared into the bedroom for a moment before returning with the white collared shirt in her hands. She tossed it over to Helena.  
“Do it now.”

“How about you do it yourself?” Helena sighed tiredly and didn’t catch the shirt when Ryan threw it, letting it fall to the floor.  
“You know what? Forget it, you’re useless,” Ryan scoffed and went back to the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind her.

As the door shut, everything shifted and Helena found herself back at the club, sitting at the bar.

“You look like you’ve been in some fights recently,” the bartender, Leon, commented as he slid a rum and coke over to Helena. “Ever wrestle a fossa for money?” he then asked and Helena stared at him with her mouth slightly open, unable to think of an answer to the obscure question.

“Neither have I, I did it for free,” Leon laughed heartily as he answered his own question and went back to work behind the bar.  
“You realize none of this is real?” Deborah asked, leaning her back against the bar, her leg crossed over the other, a colorful drink in her hand. She sucked on the straw hard enough to dent her cheeks.

“What’s happening?” Helena asked, her voice rising to an almost panicky pitch as she tried to make sense of everything around her. Deborah set her drink down and swiveled around in her seat, resting her forearms on the bar.

“You can’t stay here,” Deborah said, shaking her head and not answering the question.  
“Where am I supposed to go?”

“Home. Leave this place.”  
“I don’t even know where that is!”

“You don’t belong here.”  
“Yeah, I’m starting to get that feeling,” Helena muttered.

“Turn back!” Deborah yelled and with that, everything dissolved into a gray noisy static.

 

***


	49. Redux

“It wasn’t real,” Helena mumbled groggily as she slowly opened her eyes, blinking repeatedly in an attempt to dispel the blurriness, but it wasn’t helping. She winced at the pain in her head and raised her hand slowly to feel the thick layer of gauze wrapped around it.

“Helena?”  
“It wasn’t real,” she repeated. Hunnigan gently cupped Helena’s face with her hand.

“It’s okay, you’re safe now,” she whispered, running her thumb over Helena’s cheekbone.  
“Ingrid...”

“I’m right here. I’m right here, sweetheart,” Hunnigan said and leaned in to kiss the top of her head lightly.  
“You’re my wife,” Helena mumbled and Hunnigan chuckled quietly through the lump in her throat, the tears of relief beginning to sting in her eyes.

“Yes, yes I am,” she confirmed with a smile.  
“Oh, thank God it’s you,” Helena groaned, her head lolling to the side weakly. “Where am I? What happened?” she asked and Hunnigan explained to her what she knew of the mission and how it had gone wrong.

“You were captured and tortured by Irma Wesker, she wanted to infect you with the C-virus. You tried to escape and hit your head so badly you got a brain hemorrhage afterward. You’ve been in a coma.”  
“How did I get here?” she frowned, the details slowly coming back to her, but they were getting mottled with the weird dream she’d had. She couldn’t tell what had happened for real, not exactly.

“Ada Wong found you and brought you back. The B.S.A.A. captured Wesker, but she’s suffering from dementia and we haven’t been able to get much out of her in the interrogations,” Hunnigan said.  
“I’ll do the laundry later, but I’ll take a nap now if that’s okay,” Helena muttered and Hunnigan’s eyebrow quirked.

“Okay, you go back to sleep, I’ll go get the doctor to check you out and I’ll be right back,” she said as Helena’s eyes closed again.

* * *

When Hunnigan got home after Alix had finally convinced her to go take a shower and a nap, she noticed she’d gotten mail, an unmarked small package left in the mailbox. She brought it inside, instantly forgetting her promise to take a break, and blatantly ignoring every safety precaution taught to her; for all she knew, it was a bomb. Instead of caring, she brewed herself a cup of coffee and took a seat at the kitchen table, proceeding to open the box. Inside was a thumbdrive and a note.

_It didn’t feel right to allow them to send a pregnant woman to prison for treason she didn’t even really commit,_ the note read. It was signed only by an imprint of lips in red lipstick.

“Ada,” Hunnigan muttered and went to grab her laptop. She didn’t even dare to question how Ada knew she was pregnant, Leon couldn’t have told her because he didn’t know either; nobody besides Hunnigan and Traynor were supposed to know. Figuring that out wasn’t Hunnigan’s priority right now, it didn’t matter. Ada worked in mysterious ways and always knew something you didn’t. That was something Hunnigan had learned long ago.

The thumbdrive contained hundreds of classified documents which connected Kosmin to Irma Wesker and Jenova. Recordings of phone calls, intercepted e-mails, video footage placing him in places he shouldn’t have been at with people he shouldn’t have met with. Documents which proved Kosmin had leaked the report detailing Deborah’s mutation and added notes which suggested a blood-relative of hers could go through the same unique mutation if infected.

“But why?” Hunnigan muttered to herself. Kosmin had seemed hell-bent on capturing Jenova-members, why would he have drawn attention to them if he was working with them?

“Unless he was using Helena to lure Wesker out because it had become obvious she was demented and Kosmin couldn’t control her or reason with her anymore,” she then muttered and browsed through more of the files. Most of them were dated long before the Tall Oaks incident. He’d used Jenova the same way Morgan Lansdale had used Veltro and for the same reasons, more or less. What better way to gain more power and control than to find a way to manipulate people into believing he was the only one who could keep them safe from terrorist groups like Jenova? All this for the sole purpose of advancing his career until he’d been appointed as the D.S.O.’s director. Once he’d made it, he’d had no use for Jenova which was when he’d began his hunt for them.

According to the intel, he’d been the one who had originally provided Jenova the bio-weapons for their mission in Sakana. He’d also been the one who’d forwarded the blurry photo of a Licker to the F.B.I. to use them to bring the D.S.O. into the investigation, providing him with the means of supervizing the hunt for Jenova.

“Fucking sociopath,” Hunnigan spat angrily and forwarded the information to Olivia and Chastain, requesting them to handle it from now on because she had a wife whose health and recovery were her priority.

* * *

Hunnigan couldn’t say she was exactly pleased to see Nadia waiting outside Helena’s hospital room when she got there to pick Helena up and bring her home, but it was convenient. She had questions for her regarding the gaps in the reports she’d been given. How they’d gotten captured after the crash and transported over to the abandoned research base Wesker had taken over being the detail that interested her the most.

“Agent Intrieri,” she greeted.  
“Yes?” the brunette turned around, her eyebrows risen in surprise and a silent question. She didn’t know who Hunnigan was, they hadn’t been properly introduced.  

“I’m agent Hunnigan from the D.S.O.,” she introduced herself.  
“Oh, you must be Helena’s handler,” Nadia nodded and gave her a firm handshake.

_More than that,_ Hunnigan thought but decided not to say as much, keeping the true nature of her relationship with Helena to herself might be for the better, it would certainly keep things more professional. Not to mention she was secretly hoping Nadia would slip something she wouldn’t necessary tell her if she knew Hunnigan was Helena’s wife.

_Why am I so hostile, she hasn’t done anything... that I know of,_ Hunnigan wondered internally.

From what she knew, she could tell Nadia was a good person, obviously cared about her team mates, and on top of that, she was an excellent agent, regarded very highly in her file for her integrity and skills. Normally, Hunnigan would’ve been impressed and working her ass off to try and recruit someone like her, but right now, all she felt was... petty and jealous. It wasn’t like her to feel that way about anyone, let alone about someone she didn’t really even know.

_Call it a woman’s intuition,_ she defended her childish feelings to herself.

“Yes. Actually, I have a few questions regarding the mission, maybe you can help me out,” she said and took a seat.  
“I can try,” Nadia nodded and sat down as well.

“You were stranded on an ice berg after the chopper was shot down, but there’s no detailed information regarding how you got from there to Wesker’s base,” Hunnigan said and Nadia let out an awkward little scoff.  
“Well, it was actually kind of embarrassing. Not that that’s why the details were left out of the report, they just seemed unnecessary considering all people had to know was that we were abducted.”

“Maybe, but I would appreciate a full report,” Hunnigan said, trying hard not to sound as terse as she felt.

“We took shelter in the wreck and we were huddled up in a sleeping bag for warmth while we were waiting for Jill to come pick us up. We didn’t expect anyone to come search the wreck, but they did. We were still stuck in the stupid sleeping bag when they came, so we were quite literally gift wrapped for them. You see why this is embarrassing,” Nadia chuckled awkwardly.

“So, you have no idea who ‘they’ are?”  
“Sadly, no. They were wearing thick coats and full face masks, couldn’t tell any details. I’m assuming they worked for Wesker since that’s where they took us, but... I don’t know,” Nadia sighed.

Hunnigan nodded but didn’t mention her suspicion regarding Kosmin’s involvement. For all she knew, the people who had delivered Nadia and Helena to Wesker were D.S.O. agents. Granted, it was more likely they were members of what was beginning to seem like a large paramilitary working for The Family.

“Okay, thank you,” Hunnigan said. “What are you doing here, if you don’t mind me asking?” she then inquired.  
“Oh, I just came to say goodbye to Helena before I head back home. She’s a good egg. A bit stiff at times, but I guess that’s just the military bravado and chest pounding that comes with it,” Nadia chuckled.

“Right. I won’t keep you. It was nice to meet you,” Hunnigan said.  
“Likewise, maybe we’ll end up working together again in the future.”

“Maybe, but hopefully under better circumstances,” Hunnigan smiled as they shook hands once more and Nadia entered Helena’s room.

Hunnigan leaned back, crossed one leg over the other and flipped open the cover of the tablet she’d brought with her. She tilted her head down, eyeing over the reports for a moment, but her attention was really in Nadia and Helena.

She stared through the window to Helena’s room over the rim of her glasses, absently sliding her thumb on the surface of the tablet in her lap. A little trick she’d learned to utilize ages ago; at just the right angle, people usually couldn’t tell that she was looking over her glasses rather than looking down like she appeared to be.

Nadia and Helena chatted for a long while and Hunnigan regretted never having bothered to learn how read people’s lips. But, for what she saw at the end of their conversation, she didn’t need to do much reading to figure it out.

Nadia stood up, apparently getting ready to leave, and leaned down, pressing a long kiss onto Helena’s lips. For Hunnigan, the most insulting part about it was the fact that Helena visibly responded to the kiss.

She got up and left.

* * *

_Maybe something’s come up,_ Helena thought when she waited in front of the hospital. It did seem odd that Hunnigan hadn’t called, she would’ve let Helena know if she was running late. Then again, if she was busy, she’d probably just not had the chance.

Helena glanced at her wrist watch. Hunnigan should’ve been there over half an hour ago. She dug her phone from her pocket and called her again, but there was still no answer. She then called Olivia.

“Hunnigan? No, she’s not here, Lucy left to drive her a good while ago,” she said.  
“I hope nothing’s happened.”

“Hang on,” Olivia said and Helena waited as Olivia talked with someone else for a while, the clacking of keys easily audible in the background as she typed.  
“All my contacts say there have been no accidents reported in the past few hours, so she should be okay as far as that goes, I don’t see any road work or other issues on the roads to the hospital either,” Olivia said.

“Well, I hate to ask, but could you..?” Helena trailed off, not wanting to outright ask Olivia to check Hunnigan’s location by looking at the GPS coordinates of her phone.  
“That would be an invasion of her privacy... annnd it would be wrong,” Olivia said but was already doing it anyway.

“Huh. She’s home. That’s weird. Or, it could be she just forgot her phone there. Want me to ask Lucy?”

“I’d appreciate that, thanks. I’ll just wait here,” Helena said and ended the call. Her phone chimed a few moments later and she opened the message from Olivia. Lucy had told her she’d been dismissed by Hunnigan after they’d visited the hospital earlier, she had told Lucy that Helena wouldn’t be released just yet.

“What the hell?” Helena frowned. She hadn’t seen Hunnigan earlier today. Perhaps some of the hospital staff had gotten the paperwork mixed up and Hunnigan had been told Helena would need to stay longer. Sighing, she called a cab.

When she got home, she could hear the sound of a pan being vigorously shaken on the stove as something sizzled in it, the smell of cooking chicken greeting her as she headed toward the kitchen.

“Hunnigan,” she said as she stood at the kitchen door. Hunnigan didn’t even turn to look at Helena. Something about the mood in the room told her that Hunnigan hadn’t been misinformed earlier, she’d intentionally left Helena at the hospital.

“Hey,” she said over her shoulder in a flat tone. Definitely not the welcome home Helena had been expecting after almost two months of nearly no contact.  
“Why didn’t you pick me up? Lucy said you’d been at the hospital, but I didn’t see you there.”

“Oh, I was there, but then I decided it would be for the best if I didn’t see you right then.”  
“Okay, now I’m really confused, why are you so angry?” Helena frowned.

“Because I noticed Nadia’s little goodbye-kiss to you contained a lot more tongue than was necessary,” Hunnigan muttered agitatedly and Helena felt like something had just reached in through her chest and crushed her insides into a tiny ball. She also felt that Hunnigan’s description of the kiss was exaggerated, there’d been no tongue, it had been a relatively light peck on the corner of Helena’s mouth... but she knew better than to try correcting Hunnigan about it, the details made no difference.  

Helena hadn’t planned on hiding what had happened, her conscience would never had allowed her to get away with that, but she hadn’t had a proper chance to come clean about it either.  

“Ingrid, I... I’m sorry, I don’t... it wasn’t like...”  
“Don’t... mumble!” Hunnigan snapped. “Just give me an explanation and make it a damn good one. And don’t even think about telling me it meant nothing because I know you, it has to mean something or you wouldn’t do it in the first place,” she scowled.

“All right. Let me get one thing straight right off the bat. For what it’s worth, we didn’t have sex, if that’s what you’re thinking. I need you to know that.”

Hunnigan didn’t comment, just switched the stove off and moved the skillet to the side and listened when Helena told her what had happened after the crash, unaware that it wasn’t entirely new information to Hunnigan.

“Skip to the part where you ‘did something that wasn’t sex’,” Hunnigan said impatiently.  
“We made out. You know... kissing, fondling, but that was it.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Hunnigan scoffed.

“No, I’m just telling you what happened,” Helena said quietly. Hunnigan was still facing away from her and she went to stand behind Hunnigan, aware of how stupid it was to even try, but still attempted to wrap her arms around Hunnigan. As Helena had expected, Hunnigan recoiled.

“Don’t touch me,” she said through clenched teeth. She then grabbed her bag from the kitchen table, shouldered it and checked inside to make sure all the necessities were there.  
“Where are you—” Helena began to ask.

“Eat your dinner,” Hunnigan said and headed outside with long furious strides. Helena’s first instinct was to follow her, but she stopped herself; it would do more harm than good right now.

  
***


	50. When heaven gets dirty

July 23rd, 2014.

Hunnigan smiled at the sight that greeted her: Lance sat on the porch swing with a book in his hands, he was comfortably reclined on the pillows he’d piled up behind his back, his feet resting on a chair he’d dragged closer. Shepard, the black Norwegian elk hound, lay on her side underneath the bridge his legs formed. She abandoned her spot and jogged over to bark at the cab that arrived into the yard, her barks turning into excited mewls and grunts when she recognized Hunnigan.

“Hey, baby girl, what brings you here?” Lance asked and stood up.  
“A cab,” Hunnigan jested.

“Hey, that’s a dad-joke, I should be saying that,” Lance laughed and hugged her.

“I just wanted to visit,” Hunnigan said as she pulled back from the hug. Lance looked like he knew there was more to it, but he didn’t comment or ask; he knew his daughter well enough to know that she’d tell him when she was ready if it was something she wanted to talk about.

They headed inside and Lance began to make them coffee (after making Hunnigan swear she wouldn’t tell her mother that he’d given her coffee).

“Cross my heart,” Hunnigan laughed and reached to pet Shepard who sat by her legs, looking up at her expectantly. She then quickly turned her attention to Lucy who walked in the room.  
“Jimmy, hi,” she greeted with a smile which dissipated into the frown that formed on her face. “Was I supposed to drive you somewhere? Is Helena getting home after all?” she then asked.

“Ah, no, I’m just here to see you guys,” Hunnigan said.  
“Damn, if I’d known, I would’ve stayed in, but I’ve made plans.”

“Hot date lined up?” Hunnigan teased and Lucy blushed.  
“Uh, well, actually, yeah,” she confirmed.

Hunnigan admitted she wouldn’t have known just from looking at her, Lucy was the only person Hunnigan had ever known whose idea of getting ready for a date was to brush her hair and change into a T-shirt that didn’t have holes in it, but that was all the effort she was apparently willing to make. Not that it was a bad strategy, at least that way her date got to see her as she was rather than some dressed up version of her.

“Give me a heads up before you bring him home so I can get my shotgun ready,” Lance pretended to growl.  
“You don’t own a shotgun,” Lucy rolled her eyes.

“Exactly why I need the heads up so I’ll have time to get one.”  
“Have a good time, Luce, okay?” Hunnigan smiled.

“I will, thanks,” Lucy nodded and headed out. Lance sighed deeply, got up and went to grab two mugs from the cabinet.  
“Why can’t she just stop growing up?” he said sadly as he poured the coffee.

“She kind of grew up overnight,” Hunnigan said, took the mug when Lance handed it to her and reached for the milk then, adding a generous amount of it into her coffee. Lance drank his black.  
“Yeah, and I don’t think there’ll be more kids coming to stay with us. We’re getting kind of too old for that.”

“Dad, you’re fifty-five and mom’s a couple of years older, you’re not even old enough to retire,” Hunnigan said and Lance laughed softly.  
“True, but still, I see your mother and I focusing on grandkids in the future,” Lance smirked.

“Well, that is entirely up to you, but I’m just saying, you’re not too old,” Hunnigan repeated and he sighed a little.  
“Come on. What’s on your mind? I hate to say it as much as you hate to hear it, but you don’t just drop by unannounced for no reason,” Lance finally said.

“Mom told me about her and Andromeda,” Hunnigan began quietly, hating to have this Pandora’s box of bad memories opened, but needing him to think back on that if he were to offer advice.  
“Oh,” Lance said, taken by surprise, this obviously wasn’t the route he’d expected this conversation to take.

“Uh, any particular reason why she did that?” Lance then asked.  
“Long story short, she referred me to Andromeda about something, her work history came up at my office because of her connection to Umbrella, and mom explained... why she trusts Andromeda,” Hunnigan summarized and Lance nodded slowly, taking a long sip of his coffee.

“Well, I’m sure she explained her reasons for what happened, I don’t really have anything to add to that if you’re looking for input on the matter,” he shrugged a little.  
“No, I’m looking for advice on how to deal with something like that happening to you,” Hunnigan mumbled and Lance’s eyebrow rose as the other one lowered, his expression questioning and upset at the same time. Upset because of what Hunnigan’s request implied.

“I guess it really depends on how bad it was. If we’re talking about something like a drunken kiss at the office Christmas party, that’s something you should just dismiss because, come on, it’s nothing. If we’re talking about your wife sleeping around behind your back for months, that’s something,” he mumbled, staring into his coffee mug that he’d wrapped his hands around.

“I guess what I’m really wondering is how do you not resent her for it?”  
“Because it wouldn’t accomplish anything. Yeah, I was furious with her for a while after I found out about it, but... she matters to me more than a grudge does.”

“I understand, and I’m glad, but...”

“Listen...” he spoke over her gently and reached to grip her forearm reassuringly. “You’re going to be angry. Then you’re going to be sad. You’re going to obsess over it and try to force yourself to forget about it, but it won’t just go away. Not immediately. But that doesn’t mean it’ll stay forever either.”

“Well, what does it mean?” Hunnigan sighed and Lance smiled.  
“It means that over time, you’ll get over it, and at the same time it also means that you could be arguing with Helena over something frivolous ten years from now and you’ll throw her cheating into her face because it still hurts you. It can mean a lot of things, mostly it all depends on you and what you make of it, how much power you let it have over you.”

“You make it sound so simple and poetic almost,” Hunnigan rolled her eyes and Lance laughed a little, taking another sip of his coffee.

“It’s not as simple to do as it is to say, but the formula is that simple, at least, it was for me. Your mother means the world to me and there was no way in hell I would’ve given up on us over something that is so insignificant at the end of the day.”

“Truth is, I’m not even really angry...”  
“Give it time,” Lance interjected.

“...I’m just disappointed because Helena is the kind of a person I trusted would be the last one to ever do something like that.”  
“Yeah, she never struck me as the type either.”

“I know, and I don’t think she is, the circumstances were... okay, I’m making excuses for her, but my point is, I still don’t believe otherwise about her, you know?”  
“I do know,” Lance nodded.

“She’s one of the bravest and most selfless people I’ve ever met, and she’s a genuinely good person, those are things that I would believe about her in my heart even if I caught her committing murder,” Hunnigan chuckled a little, realizing she had tears running on her cheeks only after one fell into her coffee from the tip of her chin. Lance reached to grab a paper towel, but she held up her hand to stop him, she didn’t need one.

“...and, what she did wasn’t the worst possible thing, they didn’t actually have sex, at least according to Helena... and I’m inclined to believe her.”  
“Yeah,” Lance muttered and cleared his throat a little awkwardly, these weren’t details he felt he necessarily wanted to hear.

“I would want to be angry at her. I feel like I’d be over this sooner if I could just get mad, but I’m not angry. I just miss her,” Hunnigan then sighed, wiped her eyes with her back of her hand and sniffled.  
“Then you should go to her. There’s no quick fix and I don’t have any magical phrase that’ll make you feel better, but I promise you, it’s definitely something you are capable of getting over and looking past,” Lance said.

“Yeah,” Hunnigan nodded, “you’re right.”  
“Well, I have my moments,” Lance smiled. “Now, what do you say we eat an obscene amount of junk food and watch a few old comedies like we used to when you were a kid?” he then suggested and Hunnigan chuckled through tears.

“I would love that,” she nodded.  
“You know, I remember when you were a kid and you’d curl up in my lap and we’d watch a bunch of Mel Brooks-movies.”

“I know, I thought it was fun when you laughed and it made your belly move and bounce me as it did,” Hunnigan laughed at memory.

“I think I still have _Spaceballs_ in glorious VHS-quality, you used to love that movie,” Lance said and went to the cabinet, took out a bag of potato chips and some peanutbutter cups before grabbing a large bottle of cola from the fridge while Hunnigan got them glasses, two spoons and a pint of ice cream.

“Oh, it’s been forever since I saw that, yes, we should definitely watch it,” Hunnigan nodded.  
“Excellent. Oh, and, by the way... does Helena know you’re pregnant?” Lance asked nonchalantly as they made their way to the living room and Hunnigan stopped in her tracks, letting out a dismissive scoff.

“What are you talking about?”  
“Well, there’s only one reason I can think of why your mother would refer you to Andromeda Traynor, and you seem to be constantly trying to cover your stomach. You’re doing it right now,” Lance laughed as he put the junk food onto the coffee table in front of the couch.

“I am n—” Hunnigan began and glanced down, only to realize she was holding her arm across her abdomen, the pint of ice cream in her hand. There was no actual reason for her to hold her arm the way she did if she wasn’t trying to use it to cover her belly. Lance chuckled quietly as Hunnigan cleared her throat and moved her arm to the side.

“When Alix and I were trying to get pregnant... I think it was around the third miscarriage that she stopped telling me about the pregnancies. She didn’t want to get my hopes up... but she also didn’t realize she was making her condition obvious with the subconscious little ways she tried to hide it,” Lance said, smiling ruefully. He went to look for the videotape while Hunnigan sat down on the couch.

“Fine, you’re right. I’m seven weeks pregnant, and I haven’t told Helena,” she admitted. “It doesn’t actually show, though, does it?” she asked then and looked at her lower abdomen.  
“No, it doesn’t. For now, she’ll probably just think you gained weight,” Lance shrugged, put the tape in and went to take a seat as well.

“In that case, I might as well put effort into it so I won’t be a liar if she asks about me getting fat,” Hunnigan smiled and pushed a whole peanutbutter cup into her mouth.

* * *

Helena woke up to the sound of the doorbell ringing, followed by a demanding knock. It wasn’t late, but she’d felt tired and had decided to take a nap. The doctor had told her it would happen and that she should just rest when she got tired. It was raining hard, the heavy cascade of rain drops making the entire house hum softly as they impacted against the tile roof.

Helena sat up slowly on the couch and reached for her phone. There were no new messages. The last one she’d gotten from Hunnigan was two days old. In it, she’d let Helena know that she’d be staying at her parents’ house for a while. Hunnigan was angry but she wasn’t cruel. The cruel thing to do would’ve been to run away without a word, leaving Helena to worry.

The impatient knocking on the door intensified.

“All right, all right, all right!” Helena yelled irritably as she dragged herself to the foyer and answered the door. “What?” she grumbled to Olivia who pushed past her and walked in uninvited, water dripping from her umbrella she hadn’t shaken out properly.

“Come on in why don’t you,” Helena muttered and closed the door behind her.

“If it weren’t for that—”Olivia began and pointed at the stitched wound on the right side of Helena’s head, easily visible thanks to the recent and thorough shave she’d been given at the hospital prior to the surgery, leaving her with an undercut (or, “The Skrillex-haircut” as Helena liked to call it).

“— I would kick your ass so hard right now!” Olivia finished her sentence.

“If it makes you feel better, go for it. It might make me feel better too,” Helena offered tiredly.  
“And just so you know, Lucy wants to murder you,” Olivia then said.

“Great. Well, she knows where I live, so send her my way, I don’t care,” Helena sighed.  
“Oh, quit being such a wussy,” Olivia rolled her eyes and hung her umbrella on the coat rack before heading into the kitchen like it were the most natural thing to do, like she lived here.

“If Hunnigan wanted to leave you, she would’ve done it by now, so you can stop whining about that,” she then said and grabbed the glass jar that contained loose leaf tea. She packed some into an infuser and went to boil water. Apparently, she’d spent a lot of time here while Helena had been out on the mission, she moved around with such confidence and knew exactly where everything was.

“That’s great but it doesn’t really make me feel better,” Helena muttered.  
“You don’t deserve to feel better,” Olivia said bluntly as she switched the kettle on.

“Well, you’re not wrong,” Helena agreed and sat at the kitchen table. She grunted a little when her stomach cramped, bitter and sour with acid that hadn’t been given anything to dissolve in two days. Olivia noticed this and frowned.

“Are you okay?”  
“Yeah, I’m just hungry.”

“Why don’t eat something? Don’t tell me you turned into one of those people who will starve to death when their wife isn’t there to feed them,” Olivia rolled her eyes and Helena managed a chuckle.  
“I haven’t, but I won’t eat regardless,” Helena said and explained that when she’d been to confession, the priest had told her to recite fifteen Hail Marys, five acts of contrition and fast for five days to purify herself.

“Idiot, the Lord’s forgiveness won’t guarantee Hunnigan’s forgiveness.”  
“True, but I need someone to forgive me.”

“You’re still in recovery, you can’t fast for five days!” Olivia scolded.  
“I’m fine,” Helena said, hiding a sour belch in her fist. “What are you doing here, other than telling me I’m an idiot?” she then asked, changing the subject.

“Well, to be honest, I’ve been an idiot myself and I came to confess to you because I’m not Catholic so I don’t have the option to go to church to do it,” Olivia said and turned to grab the kettle once the water had began to boil, pouring herself a mug. Helena didn’t ask, simply waited quietly for Olivia to explain.

“A while back, I noticed Hunnigan was acting strange, and I noticed the name Andromeda Traynor on some of her papers, and I did a search on the name... and it turned out she used to work for Umbrella,” Olivia began and Helena frowned. That was new information to her.

“So, since I couldn’t figure out why Hunnigan was visiting someone like that so frequently, I did something stupid.”  
“What did you do?”

“I had someone tail Hunnigan. And since I had to go through the official channels to make that happen, there is a record of me ordering the tail and why I ordered it.”  
“All right, so what does that mean?”

“My suspicion of Hunnigan caught Kosmin’s attention, it means that I’m the moron who gave Kosmin the ammo he needed to go after Hunnigan regarding her alleged connection with Umbrella.”  
“Wait, wait, what?” Helena frowned.

“...you don’t know?”  
“Obviously not, what the hell are you talking about?”

“Oh, hell. I thought Hunnigan had told you.”  
“Told me what!”

“That Kosmin was trying to get her charged with treason and when that failed, he went after her for her connection to Traynor and possibly Umbrella,” Olivia said and Helena stood up, not knowing what exactly she was about to do, but unable to just sit down either. It was a ridiculous way to react because there wasn’t really anything she could’ve done. Olivia reached to put her hand over Helena’s forearm.

“It’s fine, he had no evidence, but Hunnigan came up with a bunch of evidence against him, he’s the one being charged, Hunnigan’s just a witness at this point,” she said.  
“Okay, you’re really fucking confusing me right now!” Helena snapped agitatedly.

“I ordered a tail on Hunnigan because I thought she was acting strange and I was worried that she’d been intdoctrinated, and yes, I realize how fucking stupid that sounds, like I said, I was an idiot who thought she was doing the right thing. Kosmin tried using what I discovered about Traynor as means to smoke Hunnigan out of the agency so that he could continue using the D.S.O. for his own means to further The Family’s agenda. He had to get rid of her because there’s been talk that the President wants Hunnigan to take over as the director,” Olivia summarized and paused to take a breath and a sip of her tea.

“And Hunnigan counter-attacked by delivering evidence proving that Kosmin had been using Jenova as his personal hellraisers for decades to advance his career, hundreds of authentic classified documents.”

“Where’d those come from all of a sudden?”  
“Ada Wong.”

“Of course, who else,” Helena humphed quietly.  
“Point is, Kosmin is burned. However, I never did find out why exactly Hunnigan has been seeing Traynor,” Olivia quirked an eyebrow as she reached for her tea once more.

“I don’t know anything about the alleged Umbrella-connection...” Helena mumbled.  
“I’m just saying that Traynor doesn’t appear to have existed prior to Umbrella’s bankrupcy, implying that she worked for them until the end and that she didn’t want anyone to know about that.”

“I wouldn’t know...” Helena said.  
“...just... I don’t know what Hunnigan is up to, maybe she’s going undercover again or something, she won’t tell me and I know you won’t either, but whatever it is, just promise you’ll be careful,” Olivia said seriously.

“It’s not like that,” Helena shook her head a little. “Traynor is Hunnigan’s mom’s friend, she’s working on an experiment to create sperm from stem cells. We, um... volunteered to take part in the experiment. We’re trying to have a baby that’s biologically both of ours,” she explained. The mug of tea stopped a few inches from Olivia’s mouth but her hand was already finishing the movement of tilting it, effectively pouring the tea into Olivia’s lap.

“Ow, shit,” she hissed and got up from the chair, vigorously wiping her thighs the hot liquid had cascaded over.  
“I don’t know anything about what’s going on with Traynor and Umbrella, but this is my and Hunnigan’s involvement with Traynor, and that’s all there is to that,” Helena then said.

“I made a huge mistake.”  
“Yeah, well... that’s been going around recently,” Helena sighed.

“Why didn’t you guys tell me that’s what was going on?”

“Well, for one thing, because we value our privacy, and sometimes you can get a little... invasive and crazy which causes things to get complicated. Case in point, Hunnigan getting harrassed over this because you got too curious,” Helena trailed off awkwardly and couldn’t ignore the hurt look that touched Olivia’s face.

“Listen, I know you don’t mean any harm with it and frankly, most of the time I don’t mind sharing stuff with you because you’re my friend. But, in the future, whenever there’s something I won’t tell or Hunnigan won’t tell you, just trust us a little, okay?” she then said, offering a little smile.

“You’re right. And I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you guys. I’ll babysit a minimum of three nights a week so you can sleep, how about that?” Olivia then offered and Helena chuckled.  
“I might hold you to that, but let’s not get carried away, we don’t know if it’ll even work.”

“I’m pretty sure it will, I mean, Umbrella was seriously fucked up, but you can’t argue with the facts which are that they did get results, and if Traynor worked for them, I’m pretty sure she knows what she’s doing.”  
“Can we, please, not brand my future child an ‘Umbrella-experiment’?” Helena groaned.

***


	51. Alone

Olivia was rarely in a bad mood, but when she was, it became obvious. She’d been unusually quiet and grumpy the entire day before Hunnigan finally decided to mention it.

“Actually, I’m mad at you,” Olivia said bluntly and Hunnigan’s eyebrows rose at that.  
“Me? What did I do?” she scoffed. Olivia rolled back from her desk and scooted over to the side to be able to see Hunnigan without having to keep peeking over the space divider stuck between their desks that were facing each other.

“You’re being unreasonable.”  
“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hunnigan muttered.

“Oh, yeah? Do you know what Helena’s doing right now?”  
“No.”

“She’s literally starving herself to repent for what she did.”  
“And that’s my fault?” Hunnigan quirked an eyebrow. As far as she was concerned, what Helena did because of her faith was anything but; she’d been the first to tell Helena exactly how ridiculous she found Helena’s blind faith to be.

“No, and that’s beside the point but also proves my point. She didn’t tell you she’s fasting, she isn’t trying to score brownie-points with you; she’s doing it because she genuinely regrets what happened and is trying to make it right.”

“So, what, I should just forgive and forget because she feels bad for what she did? I’m not exactly feeling great about all of this myself, you know, and frankly, I think she _should_ feel bad about what she did!” Hunnigan snapped, beginning to get annoyed.

“I’m not saying you should forgive and forget just like that, I just think you should put this all into perspective. Helena made out with another woman, it happened and it can’t be undone. But I think you and I both know she never would’ve done that under normal circumstances.”

“That’s not a valid excuse.”

“No?” Olivia scoffed and leaned forward in her chair, folding her arms over her abdomen as she prepared to challenge Hunnigan on this.  
“No.”

“Right, so having your chopper shot down and being stranded on an ice berg, thinking you might die wouldn’t terrify you into seeking comfort from the person you’re with? You never stopped to think that it was a good thing Nadia was there because you would rather Helena had been alone and terrified the whole time she was stranded and freezing?”

“Of course I’d never want her to be scared and alone!” Hunnigan snapped, unable to keep herself from raising her voice.

“Then why did you leave her?” Olivia quirked an eyebrow.  
“So, I’m not allowed to be hurt and upset just because Helena’s not feeling well? How is that fair?”

“Oh, for God’s sake, how self-absorbed can you be right now?” Olivia spat. “She was kidnapped and tortured by a demented psychopath, she had to have major fucking surgery on her brain, and now she’s fasting in the hopes of being forgiven by God at least, and you abandoned her!”

“I left because I was angry and smart enough to know that had I tried staying with her, I would’ve made things worse in the long run by forgiving her too easily!” Hunnigan argued.

“Smart? Oh, please. You have the love of the most amazing woman I’ve ever known. I would commit atrocities to have someone who is half as devoted and loyal to me as Helena is to you; you have no fucking idea how lucky you are, and you're throwing all that away just because she kissed another woman... an act we both know would never happen under normal circumstances. To me, that doesn’t sound smart, on the contrary; you’re a fucking idiot right now!” Olivia ranted.

Hunnigan inhaled deeply and opened her mouth to say something but closed it immediately after when she realized she had nothing to say. She had no argument because the more she let Olivia’s words sink in, the more she realized Olivia was right. She also realized something else.

“...this isn’t about me, is it?” she mumbled quietly and Olivia glared at her.  
“You don’t know what it’s like,” she said through clenched teeth she ground together in an attempt to bite back the tears she had rising up her throat.

“You’ve never had to be alone unless you wanted to, people fall in love with you and you can pick and choose.”  
“Well, I wouldn’t put it like that,” Hunnigan scoffed.

“Really? From what you’ve told me, all your previous relationships ended because _you_ didn’t want them to continue. Even Leon’s made a serious effort and tried bedding you once upon a time.”  
“Yeah, well, it’s Leon, there was a time when he tried to bed anything that had a pulse,” Hunnigan dismissed, but Olivia ignored it.

“And it comes as no surprise that you are the first woman Lucy ever fell in love with.”  
“Don’t be gross.”

“Don’t make it weird, you’re not blood and I’m not saying it’s sexual,” Olivia rolled her eyes. “Before that, there was Liam. And Nina. People just love you and you have no idea what it is like when no one wants you or cares about you.”  
“Need I remind you my biological mother didn’t want me, she left me at a fire station.”

“Oh, don’t pretend you didn’t come out of it better off!” Olivia snapped and Hunnigan exhaled deeply. She couldn’t really argue with that either.

“And now, here you are, on your damn high horse, punishing Helena for something completely insignificant in the big picture and acting like your pain is all that matters when she’s hurt too. Where the fuck do you get off behaving this way!” Olivia yelled and stood up furiously. Hunnigan stood up as well, but rather than get angry, she calmly reached to slide the office door closed and paused to stand in front of Olivia.

“What’s wrong?” she asked and put her hands on Olivia’s shoulders.  
“I’m just pissed off at you for wasting a good thing when some of us have nothing,” Olivia muttered, her anger beginning to dissipate into sadness.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Tsh, you know, I think this is the first in a very long time you’ve asked me how I’m doing,” Olivia scoffed amusedly and Hunnigan felt a pang of guilt in her gut when she thought about it. It was true. Whenever she and Olivia had discussed personal things, Olivia had always been the one who’d listened and asked Hunnigan how everything was. Hunnigan felt even worse when she realized how little she knew Olivia.

_I’m a terrible friend,_ she thought. That was something she was willing to admit with ease. She was not really friend-material. She didn’t have what it took to keep in touch with people and check in on them. It wasn’t that she didn’t care, she just... didn’t know how.

“Maybe. So, are you gonna tell me?” Hunnigan asked and went to take a seat. Olivia exhaled deeply and took a seat as well.

“Well, uhm...” she began, her voice quivering a little, “I just get really lonely sometimes. And, you know how I love to live through you and Helena so seeing you two fight hurts,” she then said and while Hunnigan knew that to be true, she didn’t believe that was the whole reason, and she told Olivia as much.

“My dad died.”  
“Oh, God, I had no idea. I’m sorry,” Hunnigan exclaimed softly.

“Yeah, well, why would you have known?” Olivia smirked ruefully and shook her head a little then. “It doesn’t matter. My mom died when I was fourteen and now that dad’s gone too, I realized just how alone I am.”  
“Was he your only family?” Hunnigan asked.

“No. I have two sisters and a brother, but it turns out now that dad’s gone, we don’t have any reason to talk to each other. Or, well, they have no reason to talk to me. Dad refused to leave the house so I took care of his daily needs, you know, brought him food and cigarettes and whiskey,” Olivia chuckled through tears. Hunnigan nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“The only reason my siblings talked to me was to ask how he’s doing. Now there’s no need to call me anymore. Like... my brother turned forty the other day and apparently, he had a big party. I wasn’t invited. I wouldn’t have even known about the party if it weren’t for a mutual friend who mentioned it on Facebook. Do you know how something like that feels?”

“I don’t,” Hunnigan admitted quietly. She didn’t, not exactly. Nina had excluded her from her life, but Hunnigan understood why that had happened.  
“Exactly. Nobody likes me and I don’t know why that is.”

“I like you, and so do a bunch of other people,” Hunnigan frowned. Olivia was one of the most liked people at the office, she couldn’t imagine why she’d think otherwise.  
“Only because you have to because I’m here. If I got fired, no one would even remember me a month from now.”

“That’s not true.”  
“Don’t. Just don’t. We both know the only reason we’re friends is because you weren’t given a choice.”

“Well, that’s hurtful. And also not true.”

“Really? Do we hang out outside work a lot? We don’t. And the few times we have done so has been because we’ve needed to discuss work. The other times the only reason I get invited is because it would be rude to just outright tell me I’m not welcome.”

“Liv, that is not true! How can you even think that?” Hunnigan frowned. Olivia sighed deeply and ran a hand over her face before shrugging one shoulder.

“I guess I’m just sad and feeling sorry for myself. Like, you ever get sad and you start thinking about bad things so you’ll feel even worse because it feels kind of good to feel so bad?” she said and Hunnigan nodded a little.

“I am familiar with the concept,” she smiled ruefully.

“I just don’t know what’s so wrong about me that no one wants to be around me, especially not my family. Frankly, most of the time I don’t even care. Then there are times when it really starts to hurt when I realize just how fucking alone I am. So, that’s what’s wrong. Thanks for asking,” Olivia said and apparently, she was done talking. She got up, slid the door open and stepped outside.

“Go home to your wife, Hunnigan. Talk it through with her and wake up; what happened between her and Nadia is not the end of the world unless you let it get that bad,” she said over her shoulder and exited the office.

“You’ve given me a lot to think about,” Hunnigan sighed deeply in the empty room.

***


End file.
